HanyouToni—thanks 4 the review, this is my first fanfic!
(And to my readers: these chapters may seem a bit short, but I promise they will be getting longer as the story progresses—thanks!)
Chapter 3: Voldie and the pitchfork
Harry turned the hose full blast. Under Voldie. And uncharacteristically so, Voldie jumped several feet in the air and shrieked like a girl. His farmer garb consisted of his cherry-red shirt, denim overalls, a polka-dotted bandana, along with a 5-foot pitchfork which he had planted sharp-side up.
Voldie fell after what seemed an eternity, and landed (as luck would have it), on the giant pitchfork. He yelped once more, and Harry snuck into the Dursley's garage shed to plan his second attack.
Meanwhile, Snape-the-chipmunk found an acorn in the grass and proceeded to eat it. His small claws held the treat and his eyes beheld the entire event's course. Including Voldie's excruciating pain he had after severly injuring himself. Snape's mirthful eyes eagerly followed the Dark Lord as he stumbled around clumsily, clutching his sensitive posterior.
In any event, Snape was forced to choose between two evils—Harry (the Brat-who-Lived) and Voldemort (hell-who-must-not-be-named). Having retained his human intellect, Snape chose the lesser—Harry. He ran through the grass towards the shed, where he knew Harry was.
Harry found the shed to be extremely cold, damp, and dirty. The lawnmower (with a seat and steering wheel) was one item found. Other objects discovered ranged from fertilizer to boxing gloves (Dudley's). No doubt his plump cousin would return with a child or two to beat up—Dudley might appear at any moment, so Harry needed to think of something, and fast.
Brainstorming started. What is strong, sturdy, and able to defeat Voldemort or at least weaken him? Harry thought and thought some more. Fertilizer? Strong? Putrid, certainly. Perhaps that would be saved for later. But...a lawnmower. A muggle lawnmower. Slowly, a smile crept up upon Harry's lips as he formulated his offensive.