Title: Kiss Me!
Author: Tine.
Summary: Angry Draco, loud Harry, funny Ron and a really bad joke.
Rating: R
You'll see what I mean when you read it. Forget about my rambling and just enjoy the chapter. This chapter is written with only dialogue. If anyone is SUPER confused about who is talking when, you need not worry too much. I just felt like taking a dip into this style of writing. I'll be back to my old self next chapter. Which isn't likely to be put up here anytime soon as I am leaving for six weeks in a few days. Anyway, thanks again for the reviews, you are all amazingly wonderful.
ENJOY!
"Happy Love Day, Harry."
"Hmmm. Draco, I think that's already taken. I believe it's called Valentine's Day."
"No no, this is different than Valentine's Day. For this holiday, each person must spend a day with someone they'd like to get to know better, an usually -"
"That doesn't sound all that different from -"
"It is, Potter, now shut up and try it for me."
"All right. Hey - Cho!"
"No not her!"
"Yes Harry?"
"I just wondered if you were were interested in spending the day with me. Strangely enough, it happens to be a Hogsmeade visit today. Care to join me?"
"Oh of course, Harry. I've been meaning to talk to you about the Werwolf Rights Activist group."
"Great. Meet me in the Entrance Hall half an hour from now? Think you can do it?"
"Yes, I think I can! See you in half an hour!"
"See you."
"..."
"Oh close your mouth, Draco. You're catching flies."
"I cannot believe you just asked Cho Chang out! You and I going out. It's a rule that you're not allowed to do that."
"It was your idea."
"CHO? Cho was my idea!?"
"No, but she was closest when I looked up."
"Well, Potter. If you insist on being an ass I'll just have to find someone as well. Someone like... Pansy. HEY! PANSY! What are you doing today? Nothing? Good, come to Hogsmeade with me."
"Er - well, I - you see, Hermione already asked me to come with her."
"So ditch her - she'll understand."
"Draco, she's not an object."
"Harry's right, Draco. And anyway, we have to discuss something important. So I'm sorry Draco, but you'll just have to find someone else to use for revenge on Harry."
"..."
"What did I say about catching flies, Draco?"
"Shut UP, Harry!"
"I love you. See you at dinner, honey."
"Fuck off!"
"If I must. Ow - don't throw things at me. You're just jealous that you haven't got a date for Love Day. Fuck you later."
footsteps
"Oh Draco, that open-mouthed look is quite unflattering on you."
"Shut the hell up, Granger before I hurt you."
"Okay, what's bothering you?"
"Harry's got a date with Cho for Love Day, and I don't have anyone."
"What's Love Day? And Harry's got a date with Cho? Did you have a fight? Oh no, did he tell you about the incident with your mirror?"
"Yes he has a date with her and no we didn't fight. And Love Day is a holiday I invented that - HEY! What happened to my mirror? Harry told me my eagle owl smashed it."
"Oh... well, that's what I meant. Hey - look at the time. Got to meet Pansy in Hogsmeade. See you."
"..."
"And you know, it really is my own fault for encouraging him to join the Werewolf' Rights Activists Group. He would have turned Cho down straight away and I wouldn't be in this mess."
"Malfoy, I just sat down. Let me have a decent breakfast before I have to think about anything."
"Fine, Weasley."
"And what the hell are you doing at the Gryffindor table? Nevermind. Eggs - Ron needs eggs."
silence
"So how long are you going to take eating your breakfast?"
"Oh. Forget it. What do you want?"
"What do I want? Just to.... wait a minute - oh, I have the most delicious plan."
"Don't say delicious. It's just not fair - I'm so hungry."
"You can eat later, listen to my succulent plan."
"Stop with the food descriptions."
"You see, I decided to make a holiday. My own holiday that I can take complete credit for. So I called it Love Day, and the only rule of this holiday is that you have to spend time with someone you want to get to know better."
"Sounds a lot like Valen -"
"Shut up! It's not. Now, you see Harry decided to ask Cho instead of me."
"Well it makes perfect sense, seeing as you two know basically everything there is to know about each other."
"Yeah but - with Cho-the-Slut?"
"It's admittedly strange. So why don't you just ask Pansy to go with you? That ought to make Harry jealous."
"Hmmm. That's odd. That's exactly what I did - only she's going to Hogsmeade with Hermione today."
"What? Hermione told me she was going to the library to study for her end- of-year exams."
"Oh."
"You know, she spends all her time with Pansy these days. She goes around with her in their lessons together, she spends her time in the library with her. She's even refused to spend the summer at the Burrow in favour of having Pansy over for the whole thing. And what with that kiss? I just think there's something going on between them. It's unfortunate because I really love her."
"This is where my yummy plan comes into play. Come to Hogsmeade with me. That way, we'll kill three birds with one stone."
"Isn't it two birds with one stone."
"Uh, no. We're making Harry, Hermione and Pansy mad all at the same time."
"I don't know if this is going to work -"
"What is with EVERYONE and doubting my ideas? Ronald Weasley, you are coming to Hogsmeade with me and that is final."
"Want to yell that louder? I'm pretty sure there are a few people at the other side of the Great Hall who didn't hear you."
"Shut up. Let's go."
"Okay."
"Let's sit here, Harry."
"Sure. I'll go get us drinks. What do you want?"
"Butterbeer."
"All right."
...
"Here you are, Cho."
"Oh, thank you. Sit down, Harry. I wanted to ask you if people were interested in the petition."
"Hmm. They're not exactly willing. Most people don't understand how wonderful werewolves can be. However, I threatened to curse each of them if they didn't sign, and they were basically persuaded."
"So - tell me about you life Harry."
"Er - well there's not much you don't know. The Daily Prophet's been unusually truthful about everyhthing that's happened this past year, however unpleasant the news may be."
"Well, the Daily Prophet's really turned itself around. They're beginning to write about what matters, rather than what the viewers want to read."
"Yeah, it's a bit of a relief."
"But, I was actually referring to something entirely different. How's the romance these days? You and Draco aren't fighting, are you?"
"Oh, not any more than usual."
"You fight a lot?"
"I suppose 'fight' isn't the right word. We banter quite a bit. It's mostly teasing. We don't really 'fight.' We've both grown somewhat."
"I see. Harry - do you mind if I ask?"
"Ask what?"
"Well I - I was just wondering how the sex is."
"Oh."
"Do tell."
"There's nothing to tell."
"Is it any good?"
"Well yes. What doubt would there be of that? You've undoubtedly seen our public displays of affection. It's like that in private as well."
"Oh. So tell me Harry... would you call yourself gay? Or merely experimenting?"
"Er -"
"Is that a blush?"
"Shut up."
"In any case - answer my question."
"Well, I'm not experimenting. Do I honestly give off that impression? So yes, I suppose I am gay. I haven't really given it much thought. I just really like Draco. It's not like I'm attracted to any gender in particular."
"Oh! So you swing both ways?"
"I didn't say that. I don't find either gender more appealing than the other because I find Draco appealing despite the fact he's a bloke. If you really think about it, Cho, I'm sure you'll discover that gender realy doesn't matter. You're not really anything until you find the 'right person'. Draco's my 'right person'. I can't really label myself straight or gay. I'm just Harry."
"Oh Harry, that's so sensible. There's that blush again."
"Shut up."
"Did you have to bring a book along, Hermione?"
"Well I thought I might be able to get in a bit of studying."
"You know - if I wasn't so secure, I might just be offended by the fact that you'd bring homework on a date."
"A date?"
"Slip of the tongue. Put that book away before I throw it out the window."
"Okay."
"Thank you. As I was saying, Hannah Abbott then grabbed Terry Boot about the waist an snogged him silly. And I was forced to tell the entire school. I mean - really - Hogwarts has no secrets."
"That's dreadfully true."
"Yes. And it isn't surprising that Anthony Goldstein was caught kissing Ernie Macmillan (by me). He's too gay to be allowed. And after what Milly told me..."
"Okay. When we get in there laugh really loud."
"Malfoy, why don't you do that?"
"Just DO IT!"
"Okay."
Sound of door opening and closing
"OH, that's hilarious, Draco. Ha ha ha!"
"I am pretty good, aren't I?"
"Oh yeah. Let's sit here, right behind -"
"Shut up!"
"Draco, could you get me a butterbeer?"
"Get one yourself."
"DRACO, why are we sitting HERE of all places. RIGHT behind -"
"OKAY! Shut the fuck up!"
"Language, Draco."
Colourful profanities ensue
...
"Here, Ron. Hope you enjoy your drink."
"I'm sure I will, Draco. Want to hear a good joke?
"Sure."
"What's yellow and square?"
"I don't know."
"A yellow square."
"..."
"Oh, he's teasing Draco so much. That's hysterically funny, Hermione. You never told me how amusing Ron is. In fact, you hardly ever talk about him. You are dating him, aren't you?"
"Yes of course I am. So what's he doing now?"
"Ordering Draco around. The funny part is that Harry is far too busy talking to Cho to even notice that they're sitting in the next booth."
"That is kind of funny."
"Yes, it..."
Words fade out, leaving an odd silence between the two of them
"What's wrong?"
"Cho just kissed Harry."
"What? Oh my God! Uh oh. There goes Draco."
"Er - don't look now, Malfoy, but Cho and Harry are kissing."
Sound of mug of butterbeer crashing against floor
"Breathe deeply, Mafoy."
Sound of hands hitting table
"Sit down, Malfoy."
Abrupt footsteps
"Get OFF my boyfriend RIGHT NOW!"
"Draco!"
"'Draco!' is right. Move right now, Chang."
Hasty retreat
"Calm down, Draco."
Loud shuffle, sound of Harry's back hitting the top of table
"Shut. Your. Mouth. On second thought. I'll do it for you."
Loud applause and cheers
%%%% ---
Oh YEAH! That was so much for to write. I hope you had a similar experience reading it. Oh hey - do I need to remind anyone that this is indeed fanfiction? I know this is never going to happen. Run with me here. It's quite fun to write this story.
All right everyone. Farewell for the next six weeks. I leave in a day and a half. I promise I'll be writing like crazy while I'm gone and will hopefully have a few ideas when I return. Meanwhile, please review - with lots of suggestions for this story. I'm running out of ideas.
Want to hear about my next story? It's going to be called Drop Everything and Snog. It's HD of course. Want to venture a guess as to what it's going to be about?
Nope. Still not JK Rowling.
Author: Tine.
Summary: Angry Draco, loud Harry, funny Ron and a really bad joke.
Rating: R
You'll see what I mean when you read it. Forget about my rambling and just enjoy the chapter. This chapter is written with only dialogue. If anyone is SUPER confused about who is talking when, you need not worry too much. I just felt like taking a dip into this style of writing. I'll be back to my old self next chapter. Which isn't likely to be put up here anytime soon as I am leaving for six weeks in a few days. Anyway, thanks again for the reviews, you are all amazingly wonderful.
ENJOY!
"Happy Love Day, Harry."
"Hmmm. Draco, I think that's already taken. I believe it's called Valentine's Day."
"No no, this is different than Valentine's Day. For this holiday, each person must spend a day with someone they'd like to get to know better, an usually -"
"That doesn't sound all that different from -"
"It is, Potter, now shut up and try it for me."
"All right. Hey - Cho!"
"No not her!"
"Yes Harry?"
"I just wondered if you were were interested in spending the day with me. Strangely enough, it happens to be a Hogsmeade visit today. Care to join me?"
"Oh of course, Harry. I've been meaning to talk to you about the Werwolf Rights Activist group."
"Great. Meet me in the Entrance Hall half an hour from now? Think you can do it?"
"Yes, I think I can! See you in half an hour!"
"See you."
"..."
"Oh close your mouth, Draco. You're catching flies."
"I cannot believe you just asked Cho Chang out! You and I going out. It's a rule that you're not allowed to do that."
"It was your idea."
"CHO? Cho was my idea!?"
"No, but she was closest when I looked up."
"Well, Potter. If you insist on being an ass I'll just have to find someone as well. Someone like... Pansy. HEY! PANSY! What are you doing today? Nothing? Good, come to Hogsmeade with me."
"Er - well, I - you see, Hermione already asked me to come with her."
"So ditch her - she'll understand."
"Draco, she's not an object."
"Harry's right, Draco. And anyway, we have to discuss something important. So I'm sorry Draco, but you'll just have to find someone else to use for revenge on Harry."
"..."
"What did I say about catching flies, Draco?"
"Shut UP, Harry!"
"I love you. See you at dinner, honey."
"Fuck off!"
"If I must. Ow - don't throw things at me. You're just jealous that you haven't got a date for Love Day. Fuck you later."
footsteps
"Oh Draco, that open-mouthed look is quite unflattering on you."
"Shut the hell up, Granger before I hurt you."
"Okay, what's bothering you?"
"Harry's got a date with Cho for Love Day, and I don't have anyone."
"What's Love Day? And Harry's got a date with Cho? Did you have a fight? Oh no, did he tell you about the incident with your mirror?"
"Yes he has a date with her and no we didn't fight. And Love Day is a holiday I invented that - HEY! What happened to my mirror? Harry told me my eagle owl smashed it."
"Oh... well, that's what I meant. Hey - look at the time. Got to meet Pansy in Hogsmeade. See you."
"..."
"And you know, it really is my own fault for encouraging him to join the Werewolf' Rights Activists Group. He would have turned Cho down straight away and I wouldn't be in this mess."
"Malfoy, I just sat down. Let me have a decent breakfast before I have to think about anything."
"Fine, Weasley."
"And what the hell are you doing at the Gryffindor table? Nevermind. Eggs - Ron needs eggs."
silence
"So how long are you going to take eating your breakfast?"
"Oh. Forget it. What do you want?"
"What do I want? Just to.... wait a minute - oh, I have the most delicious plan."
"Don't say delicious. It's just not fair - I'm so hungry."
"You can eat later, listen to my succulent plan."
"Stop with the food descriptions."
"You see, I decided to make a holiday. My own holiday that I can take complete credit for. So I called it Love Day, and the only rule of this holiday is that you have to spend time with someone you want to get to know better."
"Sounds a lot like Valen -"
"Shut up! It's not. Now, you see Harry decided to ask Cho instead of me."
"Well it makes perfect sense, seeing as you two know basically everything there is to know about each other."
"Yeah but - with Cho-the-Slut?"
"It's admittedly strange. So why don't you just ask Pansy to go with you? That ought to make Harry jealous."
"Hmmm. That's odd. That's exactly what I did - only she's going to Hogsmeade with Hermione today."
"What? Hermione told me she was going to the library to study for her end- of-year exams."
"Oh."
"You know, she spends all her time with Pansy these days. She goes around with her in their lessons together, she spends her time in the library with her. She's even refused to spend the summer at the Burrow in favour of having Pansy over for the whole thing. And what with that kiss? I just think there's something going on between them. It's unfortunate because I really love her."
"This is where my yummy plan comes into play. Come to Hogsmeade with me. That way, we'll kill three birds with one stone."
"Isn't it two birds with one stone."
"Uh, no. We're making Harry, Hermione and Pansy mad all at the same time."
"I don't know if this is going to work -"
"What is with EVERYONE and doubting my ideas? Ronald Weasley, you are coming to Hogsmeade with me and that is final."
"Want to yell that louder? I'm pretty sure there are a few people at the other side of the Great Hall who didn't hear you."
"Shut up. Let's go."
"Okay."
"Let's sit here, Harry."
"Sure. I'll go get us drinks. What do you want?"
"Butterbeer."
"All right."
...
"Here you are, Cho."
"Oh, thank you. Sit down, Harry. I wanted to ask you if people were interested in the petition."
"Hmm. They're not exactly willing. Most people don't understand how wonderful werewolves can be. However, I threatened to curse each of them if they didn't sign, and they were basically persuaded."
"So - tell me about you life Harry."
"Er - well there's not much you don't know. The Daily Prophet's been unusually truthful about everyhthing that's happened this past year, however unpleasant the news may be."
"Well, the Daily Prophet's really turned itself around. They're beginning to write about what matters, rather than what the viewers want to read."
"Yeah, it's a bit of a relief."
"But, I was actually referring to something entirely different. How's the romance these days? You and Draco aren't fighting, are you?"
"Oh, not any more than usual."
"You fight a lot?"
"I suppose 'fight' isn't the right word. We banter quite a bit. It's mostly teasing. We don't really 'fight.' We've both grown somewhat."
"I see. Harry - do you mind if I ask?"
"Ask what?"
"Well I - I was just wondering how the sex is."
"Oh."
"Do tell."
"There's nothing to tell."
"Is it any good?"
"Well yes. What doubt would there be of that? You've undoubtedly seen our public displays of affection. It's like that in private as well."
"Oh. So tell me Harry... would you call yourself gay? Or merely experimenting?"
"Er -"
"Is that a blush?"
"Shut up."
"In any case - answer my question."
"Well, I'm not experimenting. Do I honestly give off that impression? So yes, I suppose I am gay. I haven't really given it much thought. I just really like Draco. It's not like I'm attracted to any gender in particular."
"Oh! So you swing both ways?"
"I didn't say that. I don't find either gender more appealing than the other because I find Draco appealing despite the fact he's a bloke. If you really think about it, Cho, I'm sure you'll discover that gender realy doesn't matter. You're not really anything until you find the 'right person'. Draco's my 'right person'. I can't really label myself straight or gay. I'm just Harry."
"Oh Harry, that's so sensible. There's that blush again."
"Shut up."
"Did you have to bring a book along, Hermione?"
"Well I thought I might be able to get in a bit of studying."
"You know - if I wasn't so secure, I might just be offended by the fact that you'd bring homework on a date."
"A date?"
"Slip of the tongue. Put that book away before I throw it out the window."
"Okay."
"Thank you. As I was saying, Hannah Abbott then grabbed Terry Boot about the waist an snogged him silly. And I was forced to tell the entire school. I mean - really - Hogwarts has no secrets."
"That's dreadfully true."
"Yes. And it isn't surprising that Anthony Goldstein was caught kissing Ernie Macmillan (by me). He's too gay to be allowed. And after what Milly told me..."
"Okay. When we get in there laugh really loud."
"Malfoy, why don't you do that?"
"Just DO IT!"
"Okay."
Sound of door opening and closing
"OH, that's hilarious, Draco. Ha ha ha!"
"I am pretty good, aren't I?"
"Oh yeah. Let's sit here, right behind -"
"Shut up!"
"Draco, could you get me a butterbeer?"
"Get one yourself."
"DRACO, why are we sitting HERE of all places. RIGHT behind -"
"OKAY! Shut the fuck up!"
"Language, Draco."
Colourful profanities ensue
...
"Here, Ron. Hope you enjoy your drink."
"I'm sure I will, Draco. Want to hear a good joke?
"Sure."
"What's yellow and square?"
"I don't know."
"A yellow square."
"..."
"Oh, he's teasing Draco so much. That's hysterically funny, Hermione. You never told me how amusing Ron is. In fact, you hardly ever talk about him. You are dating him, aren't you?"
"Yes of course I am. So what's he doing now?"
"Ordering Draco around. The funny part is that Harry is far too busy talking to Cho to even notice that they're sitting in the next booth."
"That is kind of funny."
"Yes, it..."
Words fade out, leaving an odd silence between the two of them
"What's wrong?"
"Cho just kissed Harry."
"What? Oh my God! Uh oh. There goes Draco."
"Er - don't look now, Malfoy, but Cho and Harry are kissing."
Sound of mug of butterbeer crashing against floor
"Breathe deeply, Mafoy."
Sound of hands hitting table
"Sit down, Malfoy."
Abrupt footsteps
"Get OFF my boyfriend RIGHT NOW!"
"Draco!"
"'Draco!' is right. Move right now, Chang."
Hasty retreat
"Calm down, Draco."
Loud shuffle, sound of Harry's back hitting the top of table
"Shut. Your. Mouth. On second thought. I'll do it for you."
Loud applause and cheers
%%%% ---
Oh YEAH! That was so much for to write. I hope you had a similar experience reading it. Oh hey - do I need to remind anyone that this is indeed fanfiction? I know this is never going to happen. Run with me here. It's quite fun to write this story.
All right everyone. Farewell for the next six weeks. I leave in a day and a half. I promise I'll be writing like crazy while I'm gone and will hopefully have a few ideas when I return. Meanwhile, please review - with lots of suggestions for this story. I'm running out of ideas.
Want to hear about my next story? It's going to be called Drop Everything and Snog. It's HD of course. Want to venture a guess as to what it's going to be about?
Nope. Still not JK Rowling.