Disclaimer—See Chapter One
A/N: My inspiration for this story was two-fold. Besides my usual Walt Whitman quote, I also had a song going through my mind that had such beautiful emotion, I was challenged to capture even a small portion of that intense feeling and transfer it to words. Garfieldlady gave me an amazing gift and made a clip of Bren/Shal moments with the song. Thank you so much, Garfieldlady, for honoring me with your talent. This song means so much to me, I don't know if I can ever find a way to say thank you enough! After the clip was made, my next struggle was how to share it! So I broke down and did something I never thought I would do; I created a website. Definitely not in my area of expertise! :) It was toted to be a five minute process…five hours later I finally gave up! If you have a moment, please check the video clip Garfieldlady made to go along with this story. The song is "You Raise Me Up," by Josh Groban, and the clip can be found at http: home. comcast. net / loveconquers /wsb (There are no spaces, this site doesn't allow links to other sites to be posted, so that was the best I could do. I added it to my profile page as well). I love this song. Although it is not normally a style I would pair with MX, it fits the theme of this story, and to me its words are achingly beautiful. If yo have time to watch it, please leave a note for Garfieldlady in the review as well. Thank you!
A/N II: Thank you so much to everyone who so faithfully reviewed. Your kindness and encouragement inspire me to keep on trying to be better! Thank you to the following: Viviana, your help was once again invaluable. You pushed me when I needed it most and wouldn't let me settle for second-best. Yet you always made me smile. I cannot thank you enough. Mari, I truly believe this story wouldn't exist if not for you. All the times you were there for me at 4am…You are a true friend, and I thank you. Rogue, my wonderful beta-reader, you amaze me with your talent and ability. You notice the little things as well as the glaringly obvious big things I somehow missed. I wish I had your eyes! J Thank you so much for everything. Garfieldlady, again, I don't know how to thank you. You gave up so much of your free time just to make that video, and I can never tell you enough how much that means to me. Thank you. Fiery Feral, thank you for your never-ending support! CatJerica, thank you so much the wonderful feedback. I am rather fond of Chester too! J Rain, thank you so much for your amazing insight! Mayra, thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed the cliffhangers! J Lucy, I always looked forward to your reviews, thank you for everything! Quadrantje, thank you for asking questions, I love that! Melodie568, thank you so much for all your feedback! Blackpanther2288, your encouragement is astounding! Thank you! Brennan's Angel, thank you so much for reviewing! I can't believe you read so much in one sitting! X-shalimar-x, thank you for your kindness! Rachel, thank you for sharing your time with me! Jeabs, thank you for your support! Cristina, thank you for noticing the details! Shado-Fox, thank you! I hope all your questions are answered! To all of you who left such wonderful and thoughtful reviews: Alicia Emmanuel, Dagenn, Saphire Ravven8, Koala Tangerine, Kerry, Regan, August, July, Carmel, Kat, Bryony Cel, Mfkngst, and to anyone kind enough to review this last chapter—thank you all so much!
Things More Beautiful—Chapter Eighteen
Light bounced off in a brilliant array of colors, and Brennan squinted as he stared up at the speckled pattern of orange and red against blue sky. In the calmness of the fall day, it seemed almost impossible all they had been through since he had last laid on his back in this spot, staring up at the maple leaves dancing gaily in the breeze. Little did he know two weeks ago how much deeper he would love the woman lying beside him.
Next to him, Shalimar dozed lightly, the effects of their shared experience still visible in the slight circles under her eyes and the peeling burn on the tip of her nose. They were hiding, again.
Sunlight refracted off the golden-colored leaves, and he rolled onto his side, studying the sleeping feral beside him. Already a healthy color was returning to her cheeks, and it was hard to relate the sight before him now to the image of sunken cheeks and fever-dulled eyes that had been burned into his memory. Physical scars were almost healed; he didn't know if he would ever truly recover from the emotional ones. His fingers ran over and over down her features, memorizing them, convincing himself that she was truly here, that they were truly safe. His fingers landed and tightened in her hair.
She was his. It was more than a territorial claim, it was simple reality. They belonged to each other. In moments of fear, of utter weakness and exhaustion, he had found the will to raise up and walk on. He had been her courage and her strength. And she had been his. She was his. And he was hers.
A merry bark captured his attention, and he lifted his head, smiling as Chester ran by. She had followed them to the grove of trees, had stayed with them, watching, until reassured all was safe. And then she had scampered off, joyfully chasing a chipmunk. He shook his head at her antics, turning his attention back to Shalimar as she stirred slightly in her sleep. Her damaged hand was tucked under her chin. Jesse had just removed the bandages, and her fingers were still a little stiff. He was glad to see her sleeping. Nightmares haunted them both, and any sudden sound caused them to instinctually wake up in a panic. But she felt safe here, and she slept peacefully for the moment.
Added to the therapy sessions that Jesse still insisted she do were regular scans; they wanted to be sure the serum was fully neutralized. Shalimar hated them, but Brennan was secretly relieved. He didn't trust anything from the Dominion anymore. They may have saved her in the end, but she wouldn't have needed saving in the first place if it hadn't been for them and their damn secrets.
"Brennan?"
Brennan started when Jesse's exasperated voice came through his comlink. He smirked at his tone; knowing exactly why he was calling—the same reason they were hiding. "Yeah, Jess?"
"Where are you?"
"Somewhere."
"Brennan!"
He laughed outright. "Calm down, man. I'll get her there soon."
"You know I can just as easily track you in, oh, about twenty seconds."
"But you won't." Shalimar's confident voice interrupted them. She smiled as she pushed herself into a sitting position.
Jesse grumbled as he cut the connection, but they knew he would let them get away with it.
"Hey." Brennan turned to Shalimar as she yawned, brushing a stray curl off her forehead.
"Hey." She leaned into his touch, capturing his hand as he started to pull back and tugging him toward her.
His eyebrows rose as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a soft kiss. His hands wandered down her back for a moment before settling on her hips, allowing her to maintain control. She kept the kiss soft, but deep, tasting him slowly, thoroughly.
"You look happy." He spoke as she pulled back slightly, resting her elbows on his shoulders and keeping her fingers twined in his hair.
"I am." She smiled at him, running the back of her knuckles down his cheek and kissing him again.
He groaned convulsively, tightening his hold on her, loving the feel of her in his arms. He felt something pawing at his leg and faintly realized Chester was trying desperately to get his attention. He reluctantly broke the kiss, looking down and scratching her head as she begged for attention.
"I think someone's hungry," Shalimar laughed as she watched Chester continue to paw at Brennan.
"Alright," Brennan sighed as he pushed himself to his feet. "Let's go home."
Lexa looked up as Brennan and Shalimar walked into the main living area. "Hey," She pushed back from the computer terminal, "What brings you two back so soon?"
"Food." Brennan threw over his shoulder as he headed toward the kitchen, Shalimar following.
"Shal," Lexa's voice stopped her, "Jesse's still in the lab."
Shalimar grumbled under her breath, but turned in the direction of the lab instead.
Lexa smiled, turning back to the computer and resuming typing. Click. Click. Click. Her fingers froze on the keys as she heard the distinct sound of nails on hardwood. Chester She promptly lifted her legs off the ground, head swinging around and glaring at the approaching dog. Chester paused by her chair, staring up at her quizzically.
"Go on, shoo!" She waved her hand, eyes widening as the little dog circled a couple of times and settled down against the chair leg. "Oh, I don't think so." She could have sworn the little monster was gloating at her as she tapped her fingers against her knee, eyes searching the room until an idea struck her. She smirked, pointing a glowing finger at Chester.
Shalimar's fingers dug into the sides of the lab bed as she watched the scan lights slowly move across her body. As soon as the machine was again still she sat up. "Well?" She stared at Jesse expectantly.
"You realize a normal person would be bedridden still?" Jesse shook his head as her dangling legs swung back and forth with impatient energy.
She grinned, jumping up and crossing over to him, peering over his shoulder as he turned back around to face the computer. "It's still holding," he pronounced with satisfaction a moment later. "You're looking good, Shal."
"Well that I know." She draped her arms over his shoulders as he rolled his eyes at her saucy reply.
"Seriously, Shalimar. You were lucky."
She sobered, resting her chin on his shoulder as he craned his neck to make eye contact. "There's something I've been meaning to show you."
"What's that?" She stood back up as he swung around to face her, watching as he silently crossed the lab and opened a cupboard. Her breath caught in her throat, assaulted by memories, as he pulled out a rumpled bag.
Jesse eyed her appraisingly. "You guys thought all the serum had been either used or destroyed." He opened the bag and pulled out a vial filled with thick liquid she instantly recognized. "I found this."
"Stabilization," She whispered, staring at him.
"Maybe." He nodded. "But Shal, if this got into the wrong hands again—"
"Destroy it."
They both swung around to see Brennan standing in the open doorway, arms crossed.
"Brennan—"
"No, Shal." Brennan's jaw clenched tightly as he uncrossed his arms and braced them against the door frame above his head. "You almost died, we can't take the risk of that happening ever again to you or anyone else. No one has the right to have that kind of power over another."
They stared at each other.
Arphf! Arphf!
"Argh! Brennan!"
Jesse's head shot up as Lexa's scream echoed through Sanctuary.
Brennan winced at the sound, amusement flashing across his features.
"What did you do?" Jesse walked toward him suspiciously.
"Nothing." Brennan straightened up as Jesse approached the doorway, giving him room to pass by. "I just let Chester loose." He turned his body to follow Jesse as he brushed past him, hurrying toward the shrieks. "Lexa locked her in a closet!" He waved his hands in a futile gesture after Jesse's disappearing figure and turned back toward Shalimar. She was still studying the vial of serum.
"So you really want to destroy it?" She picked up the vial, turning it and watching as liquid oozed back and forth.
"Yeah." Brennan walked up to her, massaging her shoulders from behind as she set aside the serum and dug through the battered bag.
"Look, Bren." She held up a large bottle, smiling as she sniffed it.
A pungent, slightly peppery smell wafted through the air as she pulled the cork out of the bottle.
"Kava." Brennan's eyes gleamed as he turned back towards the sound of Lexa's raised voice. "Hmm…"
Jesse pinched his nose tiredly as he stared with bleary eyes at the computer in his bedroom. Shalimar had asked him to run one more check on the serum to see if it could still somehow be used for stabilization. There were hundreds of possibilities, hundreds of risks. He didn't know what to think. He sighed heavily.
"Jess."
He looked up as Lexa walked up to him.
"You need to take a break, you're exhausted."
He groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face. "I'm fine."
"Here." She handed him a glass. "I think you need this more than I do."
"What's this?" Jesse wrinkled his nose as he smelled the drink.
"Brennan gave it to me, said it was a souvenir from the island. It's not bad after the first sip." She settled herself down into his lap.
Jesse wrapped his free arm around her as he took a sip, experimentally rolling the strong liquid around his tongue. Lexa laughed softly as his eyes watered. "Not bad." He choked out, shrugging as he tipped the glass back, swallowing its contents whole. "Got any more?"
Shalimar laid lazily, stretched across the couch in the main room, eyes closed. Machinery hummed gently and clicked occasionally as they turned on and off. Water trickled softly in the fountain, and slight bursts of laughter and murmuring of voices could be faintly heard from Jesse's room. She smiled in contentment; she loved the sounds of her home.
Tiptoes caught her attention, and she perked her ears, recognizing Brennan's steps instantly.
He saw her grin and gave up all attempts at covert entry. "Hey Shal."
"Hey." She lifted a hand in greeting, eyes still closed as he knelt in front of her, pressing a kiss to her brow, hand closing over hers.
"I have a surprise for you."
"Yeah?" Her face brightened as her eyes opened to see a small box in his hands. "What's that?" She grinned in anticipation.
He chuckled at her eager expression, gently moving her legs so he could sit down next to her. She pulled her legs back to make room, stretching them back across his lap as soon as he sat down. He smiled and squeezed her toes affectionately, laughing as they automatically curled under at his touch. "What is that?" She impatiently repeated her question.
He waggled his eyebrows and held out the small box. "A present."
Her brows furrowed as she held the box up, sniffing it.
Brennan laughed as she then shook the package next to her ear. "Just open it."
She glanced at him furtively from under her lashes for a moment before tearing open the box. She stopped and stared as the wrapping fell open. "Brennan!"
He grinned at her hushed, disbelieving tone, laughing at the faint blush in her cheeks as she held up a soft bit of white material with tiny pink hearts. Her underwear. She bit her lip. They were almost exactly the same. It must have taken him hours to find them. She turned astonished eyes back to his face, smiling tumultuously.
He saw her expression, letting out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Come here." He pulled her into a kiss, pulling back in surprise when he tasted the saltiness of a stray tear. "Shal?"
"You remembered." She pressed trembling fingers against his lips, blinking away the trace tears. "We lost so much on that island, and went through so much. I just can't believe that through it all, you remembered."
"Of course I did," He cupped her cheeks, leaning forward, tenderly catching her stray tears with a kiss. "I remember everything about you."
She scooted forward, fingers curling into his shirt and pulling him down with her, slating her mouth over his as he sank into her arms. The box tumbled to the floor unnoticed. They were silent for long moments, lost in each other.
"Hee-hee!"
They sprang apart as an inane giggle erupted in their ears. Shalimar pulled back with a start as Brennan raised his head, eyes popping open in shock.
Jesse sat cross-legged on the floor right next to them, his grinning face inches from theirs. In his hands he clenched the small box, and on top of his head, looking like a deformed hat, stretched a thin bit of flimsy white material, tiny pink hearts scattered across it.
He hiccupped loudly.
"What---why—what?" Shalimar stuttered in shock as Jesse bounced back to his feet, skating across the floor in his socks.
"Hee-hee!" His giggles floated back behind him.
Brennan slowly sat up, staring dumbfounded at Jesse.
"Is he…drunk?" Shalimar quickly jumped up to catch him as he suddenly teetered unsteadily on his feet. "I don't think I've ever seen Jesse drunk before. Where's Lexa?" She narrowed her eyes.
Brennan paled slightly at her words. "Ah, Shal, I think this might be my fault."
"What?" Her hand reached out and snatched her underwear off Jesse's head as he stared blankly at her.
"Kava." Brennan reappeared from the hallway holding up an empty bottle. "I ah, I gave it to Lexa."
She shook her head. "I thought that stuff didn't make you drunk?"
Brennan scratched his head, shifting his feet as Shalimar half-dragged a suddenly limp Jesse back to the couch. "It doesn't, technically. It makes you have, er, psychotic reactions."
"Yeah, well, you can be the one to explain it to him when he wakes up."
They stared down at Jesse as he tucked his feet under him and curled up into an impossibly tight ball, a silly grin plastered across his face.
"At least he looks happy." Brennan shrugged helplessly, rubbing his chest as Shalimar jabbed him with her elbow.
They both started when Lexa suddenly waltzed into the room, crooning loudly as she cuddled a wiggling Chester in her arms. She collapsed beside Jesse, resting her head on his thigh, a matching grin spread across her face as she snuggled with the little dog.
Shalimar brows shot up as Brennan snickered beside her. Maybe it was worth it after all.
That evening, the sun sank slowly behind the mountain that guarded their rock home, setting off the fall leaves with brilliant color. The evening breeze was soft and cool, whispering through the trees and stirring the river into quiet ripples. Shalimar leaned her head against Brennan's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her, content as they walked along the edge of Sanctuary.
She poked Brennan in the side with her elbow when a chuckle escaped his lips. "Stop it."
"Sorry." His lips twitched.
"Poor Jesse will be traumatized if he has any memory of this in the morning."
"How was I supposed to know Lexa would give him the kava?"
She shook her head, laughing softly with him. "It's good to be home."
"That it is." Brennan sobered as he pulled her more tightly against him, arm jerking slightly as Chester whined and strained against the leash he had attached to her.
"Did you have to leash her?"
"I didn't want her to run off."
"She never has yet."
"I don't want to lose her." He shrugged sheepishly. "Come on, Chester," He shook the leash, "Hurry up and do your business."
Her ears flattened in protest.
Shalimar knelt down and patted her head sympathetically.
"You've gotten attached to her, haven't you?"
She glanced back up at Brennan's triumphant face. "Well, she kind of grows on you."
"Tell that to Lexa."
They exchanged amused glances.
"But really," Shalimar continued, scratching Chester as she put her paws on her knee, stubby tail waggling gleefully, "She went through so much with us. She's a survivor, like we are." She gave the dog a final pat on the head and stood back up, pushing up under Brennan's arm again as they resumed walking.
Brennan murmured in agreement as he dropped a kiss to the top of her head. The sound of water grew louder as they neared the river. "You ready to do this?"
"Yeah." Shalimar paused to pull the vial of serum out of her pocket. She stared at the liquid for a long moment, pressing her lips together and then dumping it into the river. It mixed and swirled, heavy on the gentle swells before slowly dissipating. She threw the vial against a rock, watching as it smashed into several tiny pieces. "That's for Riley." She stared at the water a moment longer as Brennan waited silently behind her. Finally he stepped up and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"You ok?"
"Yeah." She leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Someday we'll find a real means of stabilization, one that doesn't come with such a high price."
She shivered, and he rubbed his hands up and down her arms comfortingly. "There was just so much tragedy, Brennan, so much ugliness." Her voice revealed hidden anguish. "Mutant against mutant, nature against nature. And we were trapped in the middle of all that turmoil."
"I know." He turned her in his arms so they made eye contact.
"We were used again, Brennan, again. All that pain, what was it for?" Her lips twisted, trembling. "We gained nothing."
"Shal, listen." His hands reached out to still her. "That's not entirely true. I've been thinking, and I suddenly realized something."
Her eyes searched his, desperate to understand.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Despite all the—the terribleness around us, all the incomprehensible things we went through, I still found some things on that island that were amazingly beautiful."
Her brow furrowed as he struggled to explain.
"I found out what love is capable of, how it can drive and shape a man." His voice was a husky whisper as her eyes softened in poignant understanding. "I found strength I didn't even know I had." He pressed a feathery kiss on her nose. "I found courage when I had none, and hope when reason said otherwise." Large hands framed her face. "Because of you, because of the love I found in your eyes." He shook his head. "There's nothing more beautiful than that."
She smiled, unshed tears turning her eyes brilliant liquid amber as she leaned into him. "There's us." He heard her whisper as she closed her lips over his.
His fingers tightened imperceptively around her as he deepened the kiss. He would never get enough of this, not for as long as he lived.
The evening grew chilly around them as the sun sank the rest of the way behind the mountain, and they were glad for the warmth of their coats as they headed back home. Sanctuary was quiet as they stepped back inside. Brennan chuckled as Chester pulled impatiently against her leash, and he bent down and released her, gathering the leash into his fist as he shrugged off his coat, about to drop them to the floor.
"Wait, Brennan."
Her soft voice stopped him, and then he remembered. He smiled gently, turning and walking to her bedroom to hang two coats and a leash, side by side.
She smiled as he came back into the main room, staring into his face, admiring his jaw, the tenderness of his chocolate brown eyes. He sensed her stare, looked down quickly, made eye contact as they rounded the corner toward the kitchen.
"What are you thinking?" He wondered at her pensive look as he opened the fridge, pulling out an apple and handing it to her.
She smiled, fingers tightening around the apple in determination as she looked back up at him. "We've been through so much, Brennan." She sank into one of the kitchen chairs, its legs scraping loudly in the silence while he waited for her to continue. "I know our lives will never be normal, and I accepted the danger of the risks we take long ago."
"Me too." Brennan reached out and clasped her hand.
"But these last few cases, Steven and then Luka, Jimmy, and Riley…" She paused for a moment, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand, the faint ridges from scars felt under each stroke. "They were deliberate setups by the Dominion, by the very people we fight for."
His fingers tightened over hers, deliberately closing over the healing scars. "They're not all compromised," he gently reminded.
"I never even knew her name." Shalimar's eyes fell shut for a moment. The kitchen was mercifully silent after the numerous rumbles and roars from the past few days, soothing her. "There's so much power, so much loss of control. So many choices taken away from us, but you're right."
"Aren't I always?" Brennan quipped softly, tugging teasingly on her fingers.
"Well--"
"Don't answer that."
They shared a secret smile.
"Seriously though," She rolled the apple against the table with her other hand, eyes glinting. I've realized something as well."
"What's that?"
She glanced up, a small smile dancing around her lips. "I'm not afraid anymore."
"You're the bravest woman I know." Brennan pulled the apple from her fingers, standing back up and wrapping his arms around her.
Her small arms reached around him, fingers resting on his sides, relishing in the feel of his heart beneath her ear. It still beat. They were still alive. While they were good apart, they were even better together. Two strong people made to be more than they thought they could ever be. She stood up on tiptoe, pressing a long kiss into his warm mouth. Over and over lips met and touched, exploring, sharing, feeling, revealing more than words alone could tell.
Their eyes met and held for long moments in silent promise, fingers reaching out, entwining. Together, they turned and continued on, melting into the soft darkness of Sanctuary at night.
They had been through much, but they would not walk away. Theirs was a road that for every step forward, leaves something behind. But they would take that step, they would keep on fighting. Together. For they had learned of love, the kind that endures all things and conquers all things, and in the end uplifts and strengthens; the kind of love that makes things more beautiful.
The End!
"The earth never tires; The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first-Nature is rude and incomprehensible at first; Be not discouraged-keep on-there are divine things, well envelop'd; I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell." –Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass