"Tonight, we sleep in a Way Station and tomorrow we get our first real bit of work," Tori said as she slung the saddle onto Teral's back.

"Lucky us," Toby muttered sticking their packs onto their donkey's back.

"It's not that bad," Tori told him and swung up onto Teral.

"I suppose it can't be worse then sleeping in a Companion's stall," Toby answered with a grin.

"You slept in stalls?" Tori's expression was incredulous.

Toby chuckled and shook his head, mounting up on Ryu, "Only when I was on foal watch."

"Ah," Tori said, "Let's go."

Teral and Ryu started walking side by side down the road, the donkey trailing behind. Toby wasn't entirely sure what to say after last night so he pretty much kept quiet.

"About yesterday..." Tori was obviously thinking about the same thing.

Toby looked over at Tori and said, "Nothing needs to be said about yesterday."

Tori nodded, and looked a little relieved too, "Right."

:Aw... Isn't he sweet?: Teral asked.

:Shut up:, Tori replied.

:Can't you ever think of a better comeback?: Teral wondered.

:No, I can't. Now please shut up:, Tori said again.

Teral snorted and started talking to Ryu, seeing as his Chosen wasn't being very nice or talkative. Ryu gratefully took up the conversation.

Despite her relief at not needing to explain to Toby about her breaking down, Tori felt her self more and more inclined to tell him. After all, he too had experienced death at a young age. Tori blinked and realized what she was thinking.

:I personally think that sounds like a wonderful idea…: Teral added suddenly, before going back to his conversation with Ryu. What they could possibly be so interested in she couldn't imagine.

"I remember a bit, before I came to the Companion's stable..." Toby started, his gaze focusing on the sky.

Tori shook herself away from her thoughts and listened to what Toby was saying before answering, "You do?" She blinked, "I actually do too... Come to think of it I remember a lot from that age..."

"Maybe it comes from having," Toby paused, "People close to us... die... causing us to hold onto those memories, the only memories we have of those people."

Tori blinked again, a bit surprised, "I never thought of it that way before. I just... remembered..."

Toby looked over at her and smiled, "I have a lot of time on my hands, more so because of this Circuit."

Tori laughed, "Just wait until we actually get there, Internee! Then you'll have so little time to think about nonsense that you'll actually miss it."

Toby's smile turned to a grin, "Is it really that time consuming? I've gotten rather used to having lots of time to think. Being a stable hand wasn't the most social of jobs you know."

Tori nodded and patted Teral's neck, "I wouldn't know but I can see why you say that. But you've just been a Trainee for 3 years, that didn't change anything?"

"Not really..." Toby replied with a sigh, "My friend, Ron, he and I didn't have too many classes together so I spent a lot of time just sitting out in the Companion's Field with Ryu, thinking."

Tori paused, then said, "I was like that too, I think, except minus the having a friends part." She coughed continued, "But that was my fault. I drove them away."

Toby was silent now. What could he say? It seemed Tori was opening up to him, something he never would have thought possible a few days ago. Actually, a few days ago, he didn't know there was anything she was hiding.

"Friends can be a good thing," he said softly a moment later, glancing over at her.

Tori almost choked at the expression in Toby's eyes when she heard him say that. It was obviously inviting her to be friends with him, but she could have sworn there was more under there than just that. He couldn't seriously be suggesting…?

:I think he is, but he doesn't realize it: Teral put in, flicking his silvery ears backward at her, :Actually, I think he likes you.:

Tori just barely managed to stop herself from turning bright red by coughing and saying rather harshly, "Well, not everyone needs friends."

Toby looked away and Teral snorted before saying, :Now look at what you've done. You're hurt his feelings. You are a nasty person. Opening up to him and then shutting him out. What do you want already?:

:I- I…: Tori hesitated, shifting her weight in Teral's saddle then let out a long sigh of defeat and slumped down, :I don't know Teral. Gods, I just wish Trish was alive. Alive and with me here. But Toby? I don't know. He acts so… young. And innocent, like he's still that four year old boy that was a stable hand. Then sometimes he reveals himself to be mature beyond his years and… I don't know what to think.:

:Open up to him, give him a chance,: Teral suggested, swishing his tail against the flies buzzing around.

:You make it sound so easy…: Tori said, straightening up and tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ears and looking over at Toby.

Toby was still looking at the sky, pretending to be seriously interested in the way it was a deep, dark blue at the top and sort of faded down to a much lighter blue closer to the horizon. He was actually thinking about Tori. At first, he had serious doubts about her, but she kept on suddenly giving him a smile or showing him kindness, and all that added up not to a cold, heartless person, but to someone who was hurting inside, and covering it up.

:You know what, you are smart: Ryu commented lightly, :You should become like a… smart person. Erm, that's not what I meant to say. I mean, I knew this when I Chose you but, you will be wonderful at this. You're a quick thinker, and open minded; even when you do jump to conclusions and wear yourself out swimming back you do acknowledge your mistakes and all…:

:Um, thanks Ryu: Toby said, :You're not bad at being a Companion either…:

All Toby got in response was a mental chuckle, echoing about in the recesses of his brain and disappearing. He smiled.

"Toby?" Tori asked, tightening her hands on the reins of Teral's hackamore bridle and looking at his sparkly mane.

"Yeah?" he dropped his gaze from the sky and moved it to her face.

Tori sighed again, wondering where to start, "I feel so stupid. I keep on apologizing to you, and then snapping… I must be driving you insane."

"Well… not much," Toby supplied with a half smile.

She snorted, "All right. Last night… I mentioned I had a twin, right?"

Toby nodded, afraid to say anything and cause her to bring her walls up again, something he'd seen her do often enough to make him more aware of what made her do so.

"Her name was Patricia, Trish. She hated her first name. I hate mine," Tori smiled half heartedly, "But anyway, she died when we were four years old. There was a fever going around our village, she got it and I didn't. Two weeks later she was gone…"

Tori fell silent and Toby glanced over at her again and kept silent when he saw her head was bowed and her face hidden. He suspected she was keeping back tears as she spoke and couldn't think of anything to say to reassure her. How do you reassure someone who's lost the closest person to them?

"Well," Tori said and her voice was choked up, "That was that. I went into school a few months later, and needless to say I didn't learn much and was labeled stupid but I just… Trish never had the chance to learn, to grow up, like me, and it just didn't seem fair that I had that chance as well."

"Although I suppose she would have wanted me to go and learn, be a Herald, and all, wouldn't she?" Tori asked, still staring at Teral's neck.

:Which is what I've been trying to communicate to you for ten years…: Teral poked in.

:Shut up!: Tori screamed at him mentally and he withdrew quickly, leaving her feeling painfully empty and guilty, :Oh Havens. No Teral, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please.:

:I'll stop being a stuck up know it all: Teral said meekly, then wrapped mental arms around her, :I shouldn't have said that, dearest Chosen. It's hard.:

:Yes: Tori said and with a sense of relief leaned down and hugged him, hard, around the neck, letting her tears fall freely down her face.

A moment later she felt something press up against her leg and then a hand rest on her shoulder and she turned her face around to find Toby very close, and Ryu pressing up beside Teral. Her right leg was squeezed between two saddles, right behind Toby's own leg. She pulled herself up and then hugged Toby as well, whispering into his ear, "Can you forgive me?"

A/N: I suppose you guys are lucky. I was going to do a cliff hanger but this seemed like such a perfect place to end it… I've been reinspired with this story and now have some idea of where I'm going, although I'm not sure how I'm going to get it to fit the timeline I set it in… Ho hum. I haven't finished all the Mage Winds books and haven't read any above that… mutters about libraries never having books she needs So I'm not sure I could really write it and have it all fit and keep Toby inconspicuous because obviously he's not mentioned in any of the Arrow and Above books… I'll decide when I get there what to do. grin