Chapter Six: Little Miss Can't Be Wrong
"Manny!"
Manny sighed and began to run. Of course, Emma gave chase.
"Manny!"
Manny ran faster and faster down the Degrassi streets, hoping to rid herself of her tail.
"Manny, please," Emma gasped.
Manny stopped, very suddenly. Emma bumped into her, not enough to knock either of them down. She had slowed enough to prevent that, if nothing else.
"Jesus!"
"What's gotten into you?" Emma demanded.
"Nothing," Manny sighed. "I'm the same person I always was."
"No, you're not! You're swearing, you're beating up boys in the hallway…what is it, Manny? What is going on with you?"
Manny stared at Emma, long and hard. Her eyes became more and more piercing, but Emma stood her ground, staring right back into Manny's dark eyes. Manny looked away first, taking in a deep breath.
"A lot of things are going wrong for me, Em—"
"No kidding! You—"
"No. Don't interrupt me," Manny said, putting up a hand as if to stop Emma's words from reaching her ears.
Emma frowned, but she nodded.
Manny looked around. "Not here. If you want to talk, let's go to the park."
Concern caused Emma's face to wrinkle. "I guess."
Manny nodded and began to walk. Emma watched her for a minute, but soon jogged to catch up with her former best friend.
They walked in silence, Manny's trouble mind weighing over any levity they may have had. Emma felt awful that she never bothered mentioning the differences she had begun to see in Manny, and didn't know what to say. Manny, well, she didn't feel much of anything.
When they arrived at the park, Manny nodded her head towards the swing set. She took a seat, and Emma sat in the one next to her.
"Well, what is it?" Emma said after the silence lingered.
Manny breathed loudly. "It's hard for me to say it, Emma. I'm not very good with words."
"It's okay," Emma said quietly.
The silence began to stretch back over them. It was uncomfortable, and Manny didn't want to alienate Emma anymore than she already had.
"So," Manny said.
"So."
Manny let the silence loiter a moment longer, and then began to speak. "So, things have been…rough. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know how I'm supposed to act, dress, feel. When I feel anything, it's just confusing," Manny looked over at Emma. "Can you understand that? I feel so lonely, even when I'm surrounded. I don't understand anything."
"Everyone feels down sometimes," Emma responded.
"No, it's not just that. And it's not just sometimes. I'm just…sad, mad, frustrated, confused…all at once. I feel like I'm all and nothing."
Emma didn't know what to say, so she said nothing at all.
Manny sighed again, wondering if she should breach another subject, one that Emma may not be very comfortable with.
"I want to be there for you, Manny. But I guess I just can't understand what you're going through."
"Em, there's something else."
Emma paused and stared at Manny, a little nervous. "What is it?"
Manny bit her lip. "No, not yet."
Emma nodded. "Okay…when you can tell me, I'll listen."
"I know. And the Sully thing?" Manny felt herself begin to smile. "Well, Sully deserved to get his ass kicked, and so much more."
"You've got to expect retaliation."
"Oh, who cares what he does? I don't."
"If you say so."
Manny felt the anger come back. Nothing overwhelming, but it was there all the same. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Emma froze. She stared into Manny's eyes and said, "I don't know what you're going through, Manny. I don't know much about your life anymore. But you're not really the type…the type of person who doesn't care what people think or do."
Manny rested her head against the chain of the swing. "God, Emma. What kind of person do you think I am?"
"I don't mean you're shallow or anything," Emma quickly said.
Manny felt tears brim in her eyes.
"Oh, god, Manny. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."
"It's not that, Emma. It's that…well, I've had some weird dreams. I've had some weird experiences. Craig and I…we…we had sex, Emma—"
"You what?"
Manny glared at her. "Don't speak until I'm finished," she insisted. She took another deep breath and continued, "We had sex, and I thought it'd be great. But it wasn't. I felt…nothing. He doesn't make me feel the way I used to. And I had this dream. This dream with…another girl. It was another girl, and I wanted to be with her. Emma…does this mean…can I possibly be…" Manny drifted off.
Emma stayed silent. It seemed like an eternity before she said anything to Manny.
"You're not a lesbian."
Manny blinked, and tears rolled from her eyes. "How do you know?"
"Because…it doesn't work that way. You like boys…you've always been the boy-crazy one, Manny. You don't just wake up one day and decide you want to be a lesbian."
Anger boiled up inside her again. "And how would you know if I just woke up one day, Emma? How do you know anything about me? This is the first time we've spoken, really spoken, in weeks."
"I know because I know you!"
Manny jumped up from the swing. "No, you don't know me! You don't know a thing about me anymore!" She cried out in frustration. "Why do I even bother talking to you? You're not going to listen to me! You're like them! All of them! Why did I think you'd be any different?"
She stormed off, hearing Emma call out her name. When Emma's voice became too close, Manny ran.
Eventually, Emma stopped following.
How dare she tell me what I do and do not feel? Manny seethed. She wasn't listening. She was waiting for her turn to speak!
Manny glowered at the sidewalk as she rushed home. She didn't even notice her mother's car was there, until she saw two feet in front of her, and a belt in the hands of the owner.