Draco woke a bit confused. He was never one to stay the night and on the
rare occasions that he did, he was always quick to leave by first light.
But this was different. This was his Virginia. Ginny, Nia, whatever name
she went by, she was special. He had not planned on succumbing to her
charms so early in the game, but could not resist temptation after so many
months of frustration. He watched her sleeping next to him, and tried to
sort out the mix of emotions this young miss was causing in him.
He was happy. It was impossible to deny and so he accepted the fact with resignation. Even as he lay next to her, Draco felt a pull on him like no other. He needed to keep her safe and close by his side. He longed to have her be more than whatever it was that they were. Boyfriend and girlfriend seemed childish, something they should be past already. His heart wanted to jump into the ocean and prove that they could swim, but his mind hesitated.
He was not sure how to react to her tender kisses and dewy eyed gazes. He wanted her, and so he had taken her. But the next step, the one that involved giving something of himself, was too far a gap to bridge. It was not in his nature to let down his defensives, and so he brooded and plotted in hopes of finding a way to get her to fall without thought while giving him time to analyze every move that he made.
To this end the distance between them was perfect. He would woo her, dazzle her with the things only good looks and old money could accomplish. He had two weeks in which to sweep her from all she had known to a world so glamorous that she would never leave.
It was with this thought in mind that he set about waking her. A wick of his wand and a beautiful table was set. Food stood ready in the dinning room and soft music wafted through the air. Another wick produced flowers and candlelight, and an elongated velvet box. When all was to his satisfaction, he gently kisses her eyelids and let her drift into awareness in his arms. As she blinked up at him he was filled with something much more than lust, something dangerously close to love. He pushed the feeling to the back of his mind and set out on his seduction.
~}~}~@
December first, early afternoon
Wow. What can I say; Draco has done everything in his power to make his stay magic. He has only been here a few days, and already we have dined at all the best restaurants and have been welcome by all the best families. Ever the Ohanas, parents of the evil Akiko, have opened their arms to us. It is disturbing how well known the Malfoy name is. Every one I met has been trying to toady up to 'Lord Malfoy,' and I cannot say that it has made outings that involve society at all pleasant. Draco is so use to all the fuss that he does not notice how put off I am by all of it. I sometimes get this dreadful feeling that he enjoys it and goes out of his way to encourage all the shameless flattery.
He has showered me with gifts, then made sure that I have ample opportunity to use them. Yesterday he gave me a sapphire and diamond pedant with matching earrings. Then, when I opened my closet to find an outfit for the nights actives, I was greeted by a stunning ball gown that perfectly matched the hew of the gems. I was taken aback, and babbled my thanks while throwing my arms around his neck and dotting his face with kisses. But for all the objects he has gifted me with, I have very little from him personally.
I fear what he is holding back from me and cannot yet allow myself to give in to the spell he weaves. I am not a prize to be won by the highest bidder, and refuse to give my heart to a man who has only given me things. I need words and something less tangible. There is this yearning in my soul that only his honest emotions can fill. While in his arms and in his bed, a void gapes open, like a chasm in my soul. I never thought I would bestow my virginity on a man before I knew what his intentions were.
I am standing on the brink and feel the tug of him so keenly that I am certain that I cannot help but fall into it soon. I wish for his thoughts, but know that I will settle for his company. I am not use to the fashion in which the other half conducts themselves in courtship. I watched Anna and Blaise, two people deeply committed to each other, marry without ever once telling the other that they love them. I do not think that emotions and matters of the heart hold much sway over the social elite, and so I must acclimate myself to their ways.
I know that this was the life he was born to, and that I can only endeavor to understand, but I sometimes feel like he is trying to impress me with his wealth. He does the oddest things and makes funny little comments, as if to say that all this could be mine if I give myself to him fully. I want to tell him to forget about who the world says he should be and just act in his typical fashion. I have known him for many years, and have come to expect him to behavior in a certain manner. I want to yell at him for conforming, when I know what a spitfire he is and how much he detests those only interested in his money. But it is early in our relationship, and I fear the parting so soon coming too much to start any petty bickering with him right now.
December tenth, much too late
He woke me with wine and roses again. They were a deep purple and smelled of springtime. He enchanted the petals strewn across the table to spell out phrases while I ate; he took great delight in my reaction, making it seem as if nothing in the world matters more than my well being. He can be overwhelmingly romantic. I feel this desperate need to grab on and cleave to him. There is nothing I want more than to never be from his side, but no way that I could change the course of my life so that it will be so.
He asked me to be his beloved. When the wine had warmed my cheeks and my belly was full, he pulled me into his arms and told me that he held me in the highest esteem. He stared into my eyes and murmured endearments before dropping to his knees and offering me much more than a place as his current romantic interest. To be a man's beloved is something few witches get. My mother is my father's, but I know no other couple personally who have committed to each other in that time honored tradition. The binding that comes with it cuts both ways, and the two of us will never be whole without each other once the spell is in place. I find it strange that he would ask me to tie myself to him this quickly; even my parents did not invoke the ritual until a few years after they were married. But the empty part of my heart that has been so demanding of late was suddenly filled and I gave him my oath that I would.
~}~}~@
She smiled up at him, with all the love and hope she felt shinning in her eyes. Draco sensed a part of him tightens in response to the sight, but a more sinister part sneered at her innocence. This much-ingrained side of him would never forgive her for the crime of caring for him. Could she not see how bitter a man he was? Did the haze of newfound emotions cloud her eyes? When she looked at him, he felt as if he were a god of yore, capable of moving mountains and performing miracles. When she turned away, he was consumed by a mad desire to prove all her notions of him wrong. She swore to be his for all time, and he wanted to dance from the joy of it. The unsure side slide deeper into his subconscious. He lost track of it and thought it gone, but still it sat, ever insidious, waiting for the moment to once again rule his thoughts.
~}~}~@
December fourteenth, sunset
How the time flew. My Draco has left and now it has slowed to a crawl. We agreed to keep things between us until everything is in order and I have returned home. The ceremony that bound our souls makes it even harder to be apart. I am sure that Draco took a large chunk of me with him when he went, and that I will never get that piece back. I do not mind it though, for I know he is experiencing the same sensation. The wizard for performed it said that the ache will diminish after a few months and will disappear completely after we have been living together for about two years. He warned that if we ever decided to part the emptiness would be unending and we would wish for death itself. He tried to talk us out of it. He said it made no sense for the unmarried to take part in such an irreversible step. His warning fell on unheeding ears and in the end he took our gold.
It is beyond hard to slip back into my everyday life as nothing has happened, and I wonder how my own feels. Has Draco felt our separation as keenly as I? I hope that he has and pray that he has not. I would not wish this discomfort on any, especially not on one whom I love. I sent him an owl today and have hopes of receiving one from him soon as well.
I had hoped that all our love making would have resulted in a child, but the deep red that awaited me this morn proved that hope false. It is for the best really, no matter how much I want a smaller version of my lover to cuddle, I can honestly say that I am in no way ready to be a mother. Besides, it would be more in our favor if my family were not ready to string Draco up for getting me with child before the wedding.
Did I tell you he asked me to be his bride? I do not see how I could have failed to mention it. Next summer I will join the ranks of the happily married. I have the most exquisite ring. It is flat faced with Draco and my own initials intertwined and surrounded by diamonds. It must have cost a kings ransom, but mean more to me because of the look on the face of the giver then what ever its price.
He was happy. It was impossible to deny and so he accepted the fact with resignation. Even as he lay next to her, Draco felt a pull on him like no other. He needed to keep her safe and close by his side. He longed to have her be more than whatever it was that they were. Boyfriend and girlfriend seemed childish, something they should be past already. His heart wanted to jump into the ocean and prove that they could swim, but his mind hesitated.
He was not sure how to react to her tender kisses and dewy eyed gazes. He wanted her, and so he had taken her. But the next step, the one that involved giving something of himself, was too far a gap to bridge. It was not in his nature to let down his defensives, and so he brooded and plotted in hopes of finding a way to get her to fall without thought while giving him time to analyze every move that he made.
To this end the distance between them was perfect. He would woo her, dazzle her with the things only good looks and old money could accomplish. He had two weeks in which to sweep her from all she had known to a world so glamorous that she would never leave.
It was with this thought in mind that he set about waking her. A wick of his wand and a beautiful table was set. Food stood ready in the dinning room and soft music wafted through the air. Another wick produced flowers and candlelight, and an elongated velvet box. When all was to his satisfaction, he gently kisses her eyelids and let her drift into awareness in his arms. As she blinked up at him he was filled with something much more than lust, something dangerously close to love. He pushed the feeling to the back of his mind and set out on his seduction.
~}~}~@
December first, early afternoon
Wow. What can I say; Draco has done everything in his power to make his stay magic. He has only been here a few days, and already we have dined at all the best restaurants and have been welcome by all the best families. Ever the Ohanas, parents of the evil Akiko, have opened their arms to us. It is disturbing how well known the Malfoy name is. Every one I met has been trying to toady up to 'Lord Malfoy,' and I cannot say that it has made outings that involve society at all pleasant. Draco is so use to all the fuss that he does not notice how put off I am by all of it. I sometimes get this dreadful feeling that he enjoys it and goes out of his way to encourage all the shameless flattery.
He has showered me with gifts, then made sure that I have ample opportunity to use them. Yesterday he gave me a sapphire and diamond pedant with matching earrings. Then, when I opened my closet to find an outfit for the nights actives, I was greeted by a stunning ball gown that perfectly matched the hew of the gems. I was taken aback, and babbled my thanks while throwing my arms around his neck and dotting his face with kisses. But for all the objects he has gifted me with, I have very little from him personally.
I fear what he is holding back from me and cannot yet allow myself to give in to the spell he weaves. I am not a prize to be won by the highest bidder, and refuse to give my heart to a man who has only given me things. I need words and something less tangible. There is this yearning in my soul that only his honest emotions can fill. While in his arms and in his bed, a void gapes open, like a chasm in my soul. I never thought I would bestow my virginity on a man before I knew what his intentions were.
I am standing on the brink and feel the tug of him so keenly that I am certain that I cannot help but fall into it soon. I wish for his thoughts, but know that I will settle for his company. I am not use to the fashion in which the other half conducts themselves in courtship. I watched Anna and Blaise, two people deeply committed to each other, marry without ever once telling the other that they love them. I do not think that emotions and matters of the heart hold much sway over the social elite, and so I must acclimate myself to their ways.
I know that this was the life he was born to, and that I can only endeavor to understand, but I sometimes feel like he is trying to impress me with his wealth. He does the oddest things and makes funny little comments, as if to say that all this could be mine if I give myself to him fully. I want to tell him to forget about who the world says he should be and just act in his typical fashion. I have known him for many years, and have come to expect him to behavior in a certain manner. I want to yell at him for conforming, when I know what a spitfire he is and how much he detests those only interested in his money. But it is early in our relationship, and I fear the parting so soon coming too much to start any petty bickering with him right now.
December tenth, much too late
He woke me with wine and roses again. They were a deep purple and smelled of springtime. He enchanted the petals strewn across the table to spell out phrases while I ate; he took great delight in my reaction, making it seem as if nothing in the world matters more than my well being. He can be overwhelmingly romantic. I feel this desperate need to grab on and cleave to him. There is nothing I want more than to never be from his side, but no way that I could change the course of my life so that it will be so.
He asked me to be his beloved. When the wine had warmed my cheeks and my belly was full, he pulled me into his arms and told me that he held me in the highest esteem. He stared into my eyes and murmured endearments before dropping to his knees and offering me much more than a place as his current romantic interest. To be a man's beloved is something few witches get. My mother is my father's, but I know no other couple personally who have committed to each other in that time honored tradition. The binding that comes with it cuts both ways, and the two of us will never be whole without each other once the spell is in place. I find it strange that he would ask me to tie myself to him this quickly; even my parents did not invoke the ritual until a few years after they were married. But the empty part of my heart that has been so demanding of late was suddenly filled and I gave him my oath that I would.
~}~}~@
She smiled up at him, with all the love and hope she felt shinning in her eyes. Draco sensed a part of him tightens in response to the sight, but a more sinister part sneered at her innocence. This much-ingrained side of him would never forgive her for the crime of caring for him. Could she not see how bitter a man he was? Did the haze of newfound emotions cloud her eyes? When she looked at him, he felt as if he were a god of yore, capable of moving mountains and performing miracles. When she turned away, he was consumed by a mad desire to prove all her notions of him wrong. She swore to be his for all time, and he wanted to dance from the joy of it. The unsure side slide deeper into his subconscious. He lost track of it and thought it gone, but still it sat, ever insidious, waiting for the moment to once again rule his thoughts.
~}~}~@
December fourteenth, sunset
How the time flew. My Draco has left and now it has slowed to a crawl. We agreed to keep things between us until everything is in order and I have returned home. The ceremony that bound our souls makes it even harder to be apart. I am sure that Draco took a large chunk of me with him when he went, and that I will never get that piece back. I do not mind it though, for I know he is experiencing the same sensation. The wizard for performed it said that the ache will diminish after a few months and will disappear completely after we have been living together for about two years. He warned that if we ever decided to part the emptiness would be unending and we would wish for death itself. He tried to talk us out of it. He said it made no sense for the unmarried to take part in such an irreversible step. His warning fell on unheeding ears and in the end he took our gold.
It is beyond hard to slip back into my everyday life as nothing has happened, and I wonder how my own feels. Has Draco felt our separation as keenly as I? I hope that he has and pray that he has not. I would not wish this discomfort on any, especially not on one whom I love. I sent him an owl today and have hopes of receiving one from him soon as well.
I had hoped that all our love making would have resulted in a child, but the deep red that awaited me this morn proved that hope false. It is for the best really, no matter how much I want a smaller version of my lover to cuddle, I can honestly say that I am in no way ready to be a mother. Besides, it would be more in our favor if my family were not ready to string Draco up for getting me with child before the wedding.
Did I tell you he asked me to be his bride? I do not see how I could have failed to mention it. Next summer I will join the ranks of the happily married. I have the most exquisite ring. It is flat faced with Draco and my own initials intertwined and surrounded by diamonds. It must have cost a kings ransom, but mean more to me because of the look on the face of the giver then what ever its price.