Chapter Fifteen: Whisper to a Scream
Manny went to school the next day, dressed ultraconservative compared to the girl she had become. A nice pair of boot cut jeans and a plain button-down white shirt. Hoping no one would notice she was Manuela, or notice her at all for that matter, she walked into the building with her head down and her eyes watching her feet walk.
Someone bumped into her, knocking her books and papers from her arms. "Hey, watch it!" Manny cried out.
The person—whoever it was, Manny never saw—walked right on by. Manny glowered at his back, but thought it pointless to amplify something so miniscule in the grand scheme of things.
"Aww, did widdle Manny-wanny get her books knocked downy-wowny?" someone said condescendingly.
Manny glanced up and saw the face of Hazel Aden looking down at her. "Wow, resorting to baby talk, huh? You're really losing your edge," she said, standing up after she had gathered her belongings.
"Gee, like I so take the opinion of someone like you to heart," Hazel sneered.
"Someone like me," Manny said. It wasn't a question, not really. Manny understood what had happened. Paige took her moment of weakness as a way to get back at Manny for attacking Sully. It came as no surprise; she had expected it even before she let it go what she was…what she thought she was.
"Yeah. A "Yeah. A dyke," Hazel said smugly.
"Why does it get to you so badly, Hazel? Still upset that Marco would rather be gay than be with you?"
Hazel scoffed. "You're so sick. I don't want to be a part of your little lezbo fantasies."
Manny smiled coldly. "Oh, and I suppose you want to jump every guy you meet, huh? Well, actually, maybe you do. It must be wonderful validation for someone no one notices outside of Paige Michalchuck's shadow. But I'm sorry, babe, I have a little thing called standards."
Hazel glared at her. "No one wants you here, Manny. You've so worn out your welcome."
"Gee, what are you afraid of? Someone being different from you, or are you just trying to get people out of your way for when you fly a plane into a building?"
"I'm not a terrorist," Hazel seethed.
"But I'm sure you would just love to be harassed for a circumstance of birth. Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you just love it if people came at you from all sides, accusing you of things you didn't do, but someone of the same race did? Would that get your rocks off?"
"You're such a loser," Hazel said, walking away.
"Ouch, nice one," Manny mocked, clutching her hand to her heart. "How ever will I heal from that scathing remark?"
Hazel whirled around. "Screw you!"
Manny just smiled. She knew when she was ahead.
As the day was drawing to a close—school time, anyway—rage was building up more and more inside of Manny. She had received insult after insult all day. There had been some people that ignored her, some that merely said nothing, some that offered a show of support, but even if she had only heard from Hazel and the rest of Degrassi broke into beautiful song and dance, accepting her for who she was, who she may be, nothing good can overwhelm anything bad, no matter how small a negativity you are infected with.
She ditched Emma and walked around, alone. She wanted to skip, but feared her mother's wrath. And so she wandered to the local park. She thought about going to the Dot Grill, but realizing that would be a mistake, she turned around and merely wandered the streets.
Manny ran into several high school students along the way. Some were older and seemingly above such pettiness (though there were always exceptions), some were younger. Most of the boys still looked at her like she was their dream girl; only this time they could comfortably include another dream girl into their twisted little fantasies. Watching someone else's thoughts on how she must be made Manny feel like a whore, even though she had only had sexual contact with one person, one time, in her entire life.
Manny scuffled past some grade elevens sucking down cigarettes as though their very existence depended on whether or not they had a nicotine buzz. And Manny felt herself asking something she never thought she'd do.
"Can I bum one?"
A tall girl with pale skin and auburn hair looked at Manny. "Sure," she said, reaching into her backpack and pulling out a cigarette. Manny smiled and accepted the offer, her newfound tool for potential early death. She thought of it as a passive-aggressive suicide, but it didn't bother her.
"Got a light?" Manny asked, putting the cigarette to her lips.