Chapter Sixteen: Salt in My Tears
Manny learned the girl with the spiky auburn hair was named Theresa Scannel. Theresa was about a foot taller than Manny, stretched almost as thin as Emma Nelson. She had cerulean blue eyes and wore thick black eyeliner and dark red lipstick. Combat boots, black-and-white striped tights, fishnets on her arms, a deep purple tank top and a plaid miniskirt made her look more like a Hot Topic fashion drone than the individualist she was so desperately trying to convey, but it could have been the newness of her wardrobe. How it looked fresh off the rack rather than a fruitful search of the local thrift shop.
She was with two others. A girl named Janelle Greene with long, blonde hair and green eyes, and a tall brunette boy who was introduced as Theresa's boyfriend, Scott McGuire.
Theresa was eighteen whereas the others were seventeen. Manny thought momentarily about lying that she was sixteen, but figured it pointless. She admitted to being fourteen, and though they were initially taken aback—people had been telling Manny she looked older than that lately—they still seemed to accept her at face value.
The cigarette had been harsh. It tore through her throat and she had to fight the urge to cough, finally submitting to a fit, to the chagrin of one of her new acquaintances.
"First timer?" Scott asked.
"We've all got to start somewhere," Manny said.
"Aren't you a little young to be smoking?" Scott asked.
"Aren't you?"
Scott smiled. "Guess you got me there…Manny, was it?"
"Yup."
"Stand for something?"
"Scott, why are you grilling her?" Theresa asked.
"Grilling her? He asked what her name is, for god's sake," Janelle retorted.
Scott's grey eyes met Manny's and asked, "So? What's it stand for?"
"Manuela," Manny replied. "But I prefer 'Manny'."
"I guessed that, what with you introducing yourself as Manny and all," he smiled. Manny wasn't sure whether she liked him, or wanted him to spontaneously combust. Which usually meant that if they became friends, they'd be inseparable.
Manny glanced at her watch and realized if she wasn't home in half an hour, she'd be busted. And she didn't want her mother to have any excuse.
She informed Theresa, Janelle, and Scott, and wrote her phone number down on Theresa's hand, the one she had hit it off with most. Theresa placed five cigarettes in Manny's hand and winked at her. "We've all got to start somewhere."
Manny raced home, desperate to be there before her mother. When she got to the point where she could see her house, she was shocked to find Craig sitting on her porch, idly tearing the petals off of a flower.
She started walking towards the door and said, "Craig?"
He looked up. "Hey, Manny."
She stared at him for a moment before sitting next to him on the stairs. "You shouldn't be here. I'm grounded."
He sighed. "Okay. I just have to ask one thing."
"What?" Manny asked, knowing full well what was coming.
"Is it true, Manny?" Craig asked, standing up.
Manny stared at him. "I can't read your mind, you know."
"You know what I'm talking about."
"Do I, Craig? There are a number of things I could mean. Is it true that you and I slept together? Is it true that after all this time you said you were choosing me and then went right back to Ashley? Is it true you avoided me, glared at me, tried to make me go away by just wishing it? Or maybe it's this, Craig. Maybe you heard a rumor today and thought that you were so bad, you 'turned' me. Is that it, Craig? You want validation that I was using you, or that you were just that disappointing?"
Craig's face was ashen. "I never meant to hurt you, Manny."
Manny rolled her eyes. "You are all alike. You think you have some great mystical power over me? I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're not the only factor in my life. You're not my personal Jesus, Craig. You don't control me."
"I never said I did."
"So why are you asking me this? Why have you come here, to my home, to try to get me to admit a fucking rumor?"
"I think I liked you better when you were nicer."
"Funny. As I remember it, you didn't like me at all then," Manny stood. "Goodbye, Craig."
She walked inside the house. He followed her in, as she suspected he would. "Manny—"
"You're trespassing, Craig. I didn't invite you in. I could call the police right now and have you arrested. Get out."
"But—"
"Get out!"
Craig looked down and muttered, "Alright. But…I'm sorry."
He left before she could say anything, though she had nothing to say to him, anyway. Craig had played his part in her life, and now that he was vacating his position, he noticed her. Now that he wasn't going to be the only one she dreamed of, he wanted her to want him. It was so typical. He had this vibe of a nice guy, a sweet guy, someone you could talk to. Time had evolved him into something else, and Manny didn't like the new Craig very much.
She didn't want to be mean to him, because she still cared for him. But she didn't want him to hang around her, either, especially when her mother was so close to coming home.
Manny stared up at the staircase and felt the tears staining her cheeks before she realized she had started weeping.
Life was becoming such a mess for her, everything so jumbled and new. Her thoughts were new, her actions, everything. Even the Manny who dressed like a tramp to get people to notice her hadn't felt this way. This was a whole new spirit come to take over the empty shell of a girl who once knew what happiness was in its entirety, but now couldn't even remember it.
Manny went upstairs to her room, and she cried.