A/N: Hello. Don't own star wars. So yeah.
Thanks to Anonymous-cat and Jackie Almasy for the reviews!
June 11
Is there a point to this? I shouldn't have ever joined Revan. It's the same hell I've been through for only a week, and I'd rather...bah! I shouldn't think of that.
I dwell on the hope that maybe I could turn Revan, or at least Bastila. But it's unlikely. I'm sure if Revan had tried to turn her, he would have succeeded.
But it will be a fact obscure to me forever. Here I go wishing for the past again. Too often, I do that. I wonder what Master Vandar was thinking when he knew Bastila was using the Battle Meditation against him. He ended up dying, along with admiral Dodonna. She used to be a commander when I was an ensign.
That was so long ago.
The low rumbling of engines alerted me. I looked at the clock, still having 30 minutes before I had to meet with Revan. I sat there at my desk, remembering pieces of my past...
"Hey, Pearson." I said, sitting down at the table in Davik's guest room. He looked slightly pensive. "What's wrong?" I asked him.
"Bastila says...She says I'm force-sensitive," He propped his head on his elbow. "I don't know. And then there's getting off Taris...How are we going to pull that off?"
"Well, if what she says is true, then maybe the Force will help us," I replied.
"I wonder why I am strong in the Force..." Pearson pondered.
"Come closer, Carth. Come closer..." Saul croaked. I stood where I was for a moment, hesitating. I eventually walked over, and Saul beckoned me.
He lifted his arm towards Pearson, but he could not see it. "You see him..." His head dropped onto the hard floor. "He's...Revan." A gurgling chuckle came from his mouth. "Just remember these words...when you see those who you thought were your friends..." Darkness. Saul was dead.
I was in shock. I sharply turned around, looking at Pearson. Him? But...
"Damn you, Saul!" I yelled, and my glare returned, but to Bastila. "You never told me?"
"I'll explain later, Carth! Now, we need to get out of here before Malak arrives!" Pears—Revan, Mission, Bastila and me ran out...
But we were intercepted by Darth Malak anyway. And then, Pearson jumped on the 'I know who I am' wagon. His reaction angered me even more. He smiled and triumphantly boasted that he could 'arrange' for Malak's death.
"Your memories were wiped away and your life is a lie! I would rather die!"
"That can be arranged," Revan said darkly.
"W-what happened inside that temple?" I muttered a question.
"I fell to the darkside, Carth. That's what happened." And then Bastila stepped forth. I was more angered than I had ever been in my entire life.
Well, you know the rest. Boring life as a servant to Sith Lord Darth Revan, cowering away even at his presence. It was an arduous life: fearing for your life, you know? I sighed, pulling the covers off of me. Fifteen minutes.
I quickly threw on my robes, walking down the hallway. I couldn't help it...I slipped into thought again.
"I have a bad feeling about this," I said. Revan was in his body-suit to go underwater on Manaan to get the final Star Map. I was alone with Revan; Canderous was slumped over in a corner fiddling with his repeating blaster in the other room.
"You know what," Revan started, "You seem to have a certain...perceptiveness." He continued.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, Jedi usually have that kind of sense, but I don't know." A large firaxa swam right near the window. "I better get out there."
I came back to the real world, outside the bridge of the Leviathan. Revan had taken it as his own ship after Malak was killed. I opened the door, sauntering in and getting on my knees. "My Lord, I am here."
Revan turned, full robe and mask on. He reached up and took his mask off. "Yes. I would like to promote you to...Commander."
"Really?" I looked up at Revan. Oopsy, I slipped out of Soldier-with- something-up-his-ass dialect. I had already been a damn commander. I guess I had to work my way up in the Sith fleet like I did in the republic fleet.
Revan grabbed his mask. I was sure he'd put it back on after I left. The only time he took it off was when he was sleeping (I think) and when either Bastila, Canderous, or me met with him.
"Yeah, really. Dismissed." I got up from my knees. "Go to Bastila for training."
I bowed slightly before turning around and walking out of the door.
I walked down more hallways, entering a room where Bastila was already swinging her lightsaber for practice. I swiped mine out, igniting it.
She was alerted to my presence and waved her hand. I walked over, and we began to spar. I had gotten better over the week that I had been another one of Revan's underlings, and I was able to block most of her blows.
I boasted a foot-long scar on my back from the first day. That hurt. Bad. Bastila called it sparring, but it was more like: If you can survive, then you're good.
I wasn't paying attention, and I ducked at the last minute. I now had a buzz cut on one spot at the top of my head. Nice. I swung my saber around, almost singing her hair. Ah, well.
Someday, I will succeed in cutting those little pigtails. That snob. Karma came back and hit me, literally. Bastila landed yet another cut on me. I grasped my thigh. Ouch.
"You seem to be distracted today, apprentice," she commented coldly.
Coldly. As always, even on the Lightside. I snickered a bit.
"What are you thinking about?" It was more a demand, not a question.
"I just...Things are so different from what I thought they would be," I replied.
"Oh. So you wanted Revan dead," She glared at me. "He wouldn't like to hear that."
"No, it's not that." I said. "I guess I could say I'm slightly...glad?"
"Of what?" She started getting impatient.
"I mean...no. I...I'm more guilty," I looked at her.
"Onasi, don't look at me like that. You have nothing to be guilty about. Guilt...guilt isn't on a Sith's schedule." She walked over to a poster on the wall:
Peace is a lie...
I've seen it too many times before. I try to be as Lightside as I can before I rouse suspicion. I guess I could say I'm more like a Jolee-type. Shadow Jedi, I've heard. Fallen Jedi. Fallen is more like...in between shadow and dark.
But, they say in the Force, there is no in-between. I guess I'm dark, no matter what. I willfully joined the Sith. I laugh. Darth Carth. I heard they use the last name...but Revan's first name is Revan...So I suppose it's what sounds okay. Darth Onasi.
Aww, quit dreaming. You aren't Revan's apprentice, Bastila is. You're his apprentice...once-removed. Or something.
Did I think that? Dreaming about...? Bastila turned towards me. She beckoned me over. The most salient change about her after her fall was her eyes. They seemed to go from light blue to black, or dark purple. It was strange.
Her skin, hair...everything else was the same. God knows what I look like, with a portion of my hair cut off.
I walked over, gesturing towards my hair. "Is there a way to fix this?" She just chuckled and rubbed the bald-ish spot.
"A wig. Or you can go Darth Malak and shave it all."
"I don't want to look like Malak!" I protested.
"Un-loyal bastard. Revan carried his karma back to him." She smirked.
Well, I had other reasons...but hers were just as well. She sat down, patting across from her. Meditation time. Whew, my one moment of peace.
Well, I was supposed to be thinking about things that anger me, so I could use them later, but I thought about peaceful things. If we had a force- bond, she'd sense it. But she doesn't.
So hah! I could be a Lightsider and get away with it.
Wow, was it really to the point where I had to get away with being a good person? I must really be going crazy. Or maybe I'm just mad. Wait. Same thing. Yep, that proves it.
Bum-oley. Biscuits. Shenanigans. Um...weird words. Wow. I was focusing on strange words for my meditation! Quite amazing. I almost have tears running down my cheeks. Oh, boy. Now I'm crying.
Back to the business at hand. Oh, I see Paris, I see France. Don't ask. A loud explosion rocked the ship. I opened my eyes, and threw a glance at Bastila. She was still meditating.
Was Revan okay?
I got up. "I'm going to see if Lord Revan's okay."
"You imbecile. Of course he is!" She snapped at me. She was still meditating. Nothing could distract her. That's why she slept like a log, too. Man, getting her up on Kasyyyk was boring. She mumbled something about big trees and Wookiees, along with several obscenities.
I don't think she likes Wookiees very much. She's more likely to throw a repugnant look at them and walk away.
I still walked through the door towards the bridge. I was not looking forward to Jedi-bashing. I sighed, power-walking down the hall.
Thanks to Anonymous-cat and Jackie Almasy for the reviews!
June 11
Is there a point to this? I shouldn't have ever joined Revan. It's the same hell I've been through for only a week, and I'd rather...bah! I shouldn't think of that.
I dwell on the hope that maybe I could turn Revan, or at least Bastila. But it's unlikely. I'm sure if Revan had tried to turn her, he would have succeeded.
But it will be a fact obscure to me forever. Here I go wishing for the past again. Too often, I do that. I wonder what Master Vandar was thinking when he knew Bastila was using the Battle Meditation against him. He ended up dying, along with admiral Dodonna. She used to be a commander when I was an ensign.
That was so long ago.
The low rumbling of engines alerted me. I looked at the clock, still having 30 minutes before I had to meet with Revan. I sat there at my desk, remembering pieces of my past...
"Hey, Pearson." I said, sitting down at the table in Davik's guest room. He looked slightly pensive. "What's wrong?" I asked him.
"Bastila says...She says I'm force-sensitive," He propped his head on his elbow. "I don't know. And then there's getting off Taris...How are we going to pull that off?"
"Well, if what she says is true, then maybe the Force will help us," I replied.
"I wonder why I am strong in the Force..." Pearson pondered.
"Come closer, Carth. Come closer..." Saul croaked. I stood where I was for a moment, hesitating. I eventually walked over, and Saul beckoned me.
He lifted his arm towards Pearson, but he could not see it. "You see him..." His head dropped onto the hard floor. "He's...Revan." A gurgling chuckle came from his mouth. "Just remember these words...when you see those who you thought were your friends..." Darkness. Saul was dead.
I was in shock. I sharply turned around, looking at Pearson. Him? But...
"Damn you, Saul!" I yelled, and my glare returned, but to Bastila. "You never told me?"
"I'll explain later, Carth! Now, we need to get out of here before Malak arrives!" Pears—Revan, Mission, Bastila and me ran out...
But we were intercepted by Darth Malak anyway. And then, Pearson jumped on the 'I know who I am' wagon. His reaction angered me even more. He smiled and triumphantly boasted that he could 'arrange' for Malak's death.
"Your memories were wiped away and your life is a lie! I would rather die!"
"That can be arranged," Revan said darkly.
"W-what happened inside that temple?" I muttered a question.
"I fell to the darkside, Carth. That's what happened." And then Bastila stepped forth. I was more angered than I had ever been in my entire life.
Well, you know the rest. Boring life as a servant to Sith Lord Darth Revan, cowering away even at his presence. It was an arduous life: fearing for your life, you know? I sighed, pulling the covers off of me. Fifteen minutes.
I quickly threw on my robes, walking down the hallway. I couldn't help it...I slipped into thought again.
"I have a bad feeling about this," I said. Revan was in his body-suit to go underwater on Manaan to get the final Star Map. I was alone with Revan; Canderous was slumped over in a corner fiddling with his repeating blaster in the other room.
"You know what," Revan started, "You seem to have a certain...perceptiveness." He continued.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, Jedi usually have that kind of sense, but I don't know." A large firaxa swam right near the window. "I better get out there."
I came back to the real world, outside the bridge of the Leviathan. Revan had taken it as his own ship after Malak was killed. I opened the door, sauntering in and getting on my knees. "My Lord, I am here."
Revan turned, full robe and mask on. He reached up and took his mask off. "Yes. I would like to promote you to...Commander."
"Really?" I looked up at Revan. Oopsy, I slipped out of Soldier-with- something-up-his-ass dialect. I had already been a damn commander. I guess I had to work my way up in the Sith fleet like I did in the republic fleet.
Revan grabbed his mask. I was sure he'd put it back on after I left. The only time he took it off was when he was sleeping (I think) and when either Bastila, Canderous, or me met with him.
"Yeah, really. Dismissed." I got up from my knees. "Go to Bastila for training."
I bowed slightly before turning around and walking out of the door.
I walked down more hallways, entering a room where Bastila was already swinging her lightsaber for practice. I swiped mine out, igniting it.
She was alerted to my presence and waved her hand. I walked over, and we began to spar. I had gotten better over the week that I had been another one of Revan's underlings, and I was able to block most of her blows.
I boasted a foot-long scar on my back from the first day. That hurt. Bad. Bastila called it sparring, but it was more like: If you can survive, then you're good.
I wasn't paying attention, and I ducked at the last minute. I now had a buzz cut on one spot at the top of my head. Nice. I swung my saber around, almost singing her hair. Ah, well.
Someday, I will succeed in cutting those little pigtails. That snob. Karma came back and hit me, literally. Bastila landed yet another cut on me. I grasped my thigh. Ouch.
"You seem to be distracted today, apprentice," she commented coldly.
Coldly. As always, even on the Lightside. I snickered a bit.
"What are you thinking about?" It was more a demand, not a question.
"I just...Things are so different from what I thought they would be," I replied.
"Oh. So you wanted Revan dead," She glared at me. "He wouldn't like to hear that."
"No, it's not that." I said. "I guess I could say I'm slightly...glad?"
"Of what?" She started getting impatient.
"I mean...no. I...I'm more guilty," I looked at her.
"Onasi, don't look at me like that. You have nothing to be guilty about. Guilt...guilt isn't on a Sith's schedule." She walked over to a poster on the wall:
Peace is a lie...
I've seen it too many times before. I try to be as Lightside as I can before I rouse suspicion. I guess I could say I'm more like a Jolee-type. Shadow Jedi, I've heard. Fallen Jedi. Fallen is more like...in between shadow and dark.
But, they say in the Force, there is no in-between. I guess I'm dark, no matter what. I willfully joined the Sith. I laugh. Darth Carth. I heard they use the last name...but Revan's first name is Revan...So I suppose it's what sounds okay. Darth Onasi.
Aww, quit dreaming. You aren't Revan's apprentice, Bastila is. You're his apprentice...once-removed. Or something.
Did I think that? Dreaming about...? Bastila turned towards me. She beckoned me over. The most salient change about her after her fall was her eyes. They seemed to go from light blue to black, or dark purple. It was strange.
Her skin, hair...everything else was the same. God knows what I look like, with a portion of my hair cut off.
I walked over, gesturing towards my hair. "Is there a way to fix this?" She just chuckled and rubbed the bald-ish spot.
"A wig. Or you can go Darth Malak and shave it all."
"I don't want to look like Malak!" I protested.
"Un-loyal bastard. Revan carried his karma back to him." She smirked.
Well, I had other reasons...but hers were just as well. She sat down, patting across from her. Meditation time. Whew, my one moment of peace.
Well, I was supposed to be thinking about things that anger me, so I could use them later, but I thought about peaceful things. If we had a force- bond, she'd sense it. But she doesn't.
So hah! I could be a Lightsider and get away with it.
Wow, was it really to the point where I had to get away with being a good person? I must really be going crazy. Or maybe I'm just mad. Wait. Same thing. Yep, that proves it.
Bum-oley. Biscuits. Shenanigans. Um...weird words. Wow. I was focusing on strange words for my meditation! Quite amazing. I almost have tears running down my cheeks. Oh, boy. Now I'm crying.
Back to the business at hand. Oh, I see Paris, I see France. Don't ask. A loud explosion rocked the ship. I opened my eyes, and threw a glance at Bastila. She was still meditating.
Was Revan okay?
I got up. "I'm going to see if Lord Revan's okay."
"You imbecile. Of course he is!" She snapped at me. She was still meditating. Nothing could distract her. That's why she slept like a log, too. Man, getting her up on Kasyyyk was boring. She mumbled something about big trees and Wookiees, along with several obscenities.
I don't think she likes Wookiees very much. She's more likely to throw a repugnant look at them and walk away.
I still walked through the door towards the bridge. I was not looking forward to Jedi-bashing. I sighed, power-walking down the hall.