Hey I'm back!! I want to thank everyone who reviewed for the positive remarks about my writing. I think writing about Abby comes easily to me because I think she's the character I identify with the most on the show. I understand some of the things she goes through and the emotions she feels. But anyways, ur not here to read my rambles. On to the story. . .

I'm back in Minnesota. The street is empty, everyone's in their homes hiding under warm blankets and toasty fireplaces. And here I am, running outside to embrace the openness. Inside, Eric is playing with his favorite GI Joe that Dad had given him and Mom is locked in her room painting away the day again. Behind me, I can hear Carter jogging to keep up with my frantic pace as I traverse the street to the large sidewalk on the other side. The sky just keeps pouring sheets and I was soaked again before I even finished opening the door.

"Abby what are you doing?!"

I have to know. The only time I've ever felt completely open and in tune with myself was when I was standing in the rain. The outside world just fades away and I can let go of my walls, my pride, and anything that's holding me back. I am a child again, getting away from the stress of a bi polar mother and raising a little brother in a way that no diary can vent. For all the times I've cried, which haven't been many since the age of eight, the rain was always there to wash my tears away.

My eyes close and I begin to walk, trusting that Carter would keep me from getting hit from any traffic. I can feel every insecurity, every pain and anguish, every break in the stream getting washed away, leaving me naked and exposed for myself. This is something I haven't had in a long time, and it leaves me at ease if nothing else.

I open my eyes with at least that much clarity, and to my amazement, I am standing in front of the hospital. More specifically, I am at the bench. Where it all began with him. I kissed Luka at this very spot, nervous about what he'd do, and it had led to a year that I won't forget any time soon, despite all that's happened.

"Abby?"

I turn and see Carter again. Really see him for what he is to me: my best friend. That is something I can say for certainty now that will never change, even in all of the work we have to do to rebuild it. Now he just looks concerned, not understanding my ritual for cleansing my soul. I don't understand it either, but it's what I needed.

I can feel the smile forming on my face and I know that I'm just confusing the hell out of him at this point. I think he's trying to decide if he needs to go find a doctor from psyc. to come evaluate me, or just simply slap me upside the head. I probably don't look that sane, with hair plastered to my face and scrubs hanging on me like I'm a clothesline. I probably look like a drowned rat as a matter of fact. But what the hell do I care? It's just water, and the price is well worth it for my enlightenment. Maybe it was a sign from above, telling me that everything would be alright if I had a little faith. Somewhere I know that would bring a smile to Bishop Stewart's face.

I want to laugh; I feel so elated. Instead I settle for a gaze into the gray clouds above and a quiet sigh. It's then I know my answer, another gift of clarity. "Yes."

I look back to him and I can tell he had already forgotten in favor of worrying over my mental health. "What?"

I just smile and look back up, "I'm in love. . ." It seems so simple to just say that to him, and to myself. But beyond this point I don't know what I'm going to do. So I just turn around and leave Carter to the rain as I walk back into work. Who knows, maybe he'll experience the same thing I just did.

As I walk in I notice a familiar face sitting in chairs. It's good old Mr. Tuttle, probably looking for another sandwich for his unborn twin. I can't help but laugh at that one as I go into the lounge and wring out my hair in the sink. I then go to my locker and proceed to find my comb and brush out my longer hair so it doesn't tangle up and then put it in one of my big clips that I keep around. My girly deodorant falls out and I shake my head, remembering what I said to John about being like one of the girls. I make a mental note to tell Chuny when I get the chance; it's always fun to have the nurses gang up on Carter. He's just so funny when he gets defensive. Oooh, and I should get Jing-Mei and Susan in on this one too. I'm so evil.

My shoes won't stop squeaking and my clothes are leaving a wet trail all over the hallway. "Woah, what happened to you?" Frank asks me. I'm careful not to touch anything for fear of him complaining about my soakedness.

"I went for a walk."

"In the rain?"

"So? What's wrong with it? Acho!" Oh, so that's what's wrong with it. Apparently I've finally caught my cold, and on today of all days. It's so wonderful to be me. I rub my nose, trying to remove the itchiness inside that makes me want to sneeze again and mumble, "Find Mr. Tuttle over there a sandwich will you? It'll save the admit work and spare a bed."

"Do I look like I work in a cafeteria?"

"Frank, just do it!" He just grumbled at me and walked away, presumably to the cafeteria. I sneeze and again and shout my thanks down the hall, but I don't know if he understood it.

Maybe my rain walk wasn't the best idea I've ever had. I can feel the goose bumps again, I've already begun to sneeze, and if I catch another cool draft from the air systems I'm going to start shivering. Apparently someone agrees with that assessment, because I swear I can hear someone yelling at me to change. I don't even bother to see who it is, I just head for the linen closet and grab a new set of scrubs.

I switch clothes quickly and don't bother to keep my sweatshirt on. I'll take an oversized scrub t-shirt over a twenty pound sweatshirt any day. Making sure my soaked pockets are empty of my ID and anything else that's important, I dump the soaked scrubs into the linen bin in the hall and toss my shirt onto a chair in the lounge. I'm just walking out as Carter finally comes in, much in the same state that I was in a few minutes ago.

"Geez Carter, you look a little wet."

"Oh yeah. And you had no part in that?"

I put my arms up, "I just asked you to come with; it was your decision to follow me."

He just smiles and whips his head around like a dog, trying to spray me with water again. I back up and tell him to not even think about it. I grab a chart and run down the hall. I'll just leave him to dry off before I egg him on again.

Dinner hours come and go before I even notice. I guess I just threw myself into my work and refused to think about how long I actually had to do before I could leave. Soon it's nearing ten and I realize that I'm getting tired. Damn, and here I am with a possible 24 hours left to go? Please say Lena is a fast learner, please? I've been good lately right? I need a break from you, please?

And now someone's going to think I'm fascinated with ceilings, because I'm looking up as I'm thinking this. Wow, that's a lot of spots. I wonder how many are on this floor alone. Too many for me to ever begin to count. I sneeze again and reach into my pants pocket for a tissue I had shoved in at some point.

"Ooh, someone shouldn't have been out in the rain today," I look and see the taunt has just come from Carter. He's changed into scrubs as well. "You caught the cold we've always been threatened with."

"Thanks for informing me Carter. How come you didn't get this punishment?" I ask irritably.

"Because I'm a good boy and warm myself right when I walked in."

Ha ha. I'm not laughing. "Yeah well we all can't be that lucky. Is there something you need?"

He hands me a chart and I look at it. 30 year old with severe vomiting. I know what he wants before he can even say it at that point. "Yeah can you give this guy ten of composine before he uses all of the emesis basins in central supply? And he needs rehydration."

I nod and write the order down before beginning to walk away. "Hey Abby?" I turn back and he's just smiling. I smile back and walk towards the exam room. "You're gonna be fine!" he calls back. And I know he's not just talking about the cold.

About an hour of what I am dubbing as Barfing Brad, I limp back to the admit desk. My ankle had numbed a bit during the day, and now after not doing much for a while, it's starting to hurt again. I look at the board and realize that Carter has gone off, because his name is no longer listed under BB. "Frank, who did Carter give the ralphing man to?" I sneeze again and while I rub my nose, someone grabs the chart from my hands.

"Are you alright Abby?" The voice tells me the night shift must have started without me noticing. I turn and see that it's Luka. "How's your ankle?"

I shrug and take out another kleenex. "It's better than it was. Now I just have to deal with my new cold."

"You should go home and rest." He looks genuinely concerned. Why do you care Luka? We're done, regardless of what I may feel.

Instead, I am reminded that I cannot, so I just half laugh and mutter, "I wish."

"Why what's wrong?"

I tell him my predicament and just say that I'll go take a nap later when I need it. I can tell he wants me to go home and just leave the ER short staffed, but I don't want to take more crap from Kerry anytime soon. Before he can protest any more I grab another chart and lose him in the fray of people. You know, I really don't think that this hospital is that understaffed. I'm easily garbled in the colors of other nurses roaming the floor, and yet I almost never see them doing any work. It confuses me sometimes, because I know that they have to be working or they wouldn't be there, but when we're slammed, it never seems like there are enough nurses to cover the load.

I can't help but think back to Luka. I know I was acting like a jerk, but I just don't want to deal with him right now. I know that even though we didn't exactly part in the best of ways, he does care about me. If he didn't, he wouldn't have told me about how he had gone and beaten up Brian after he had assaulted me, and he wouldn't have checked up on me as often as he did. I'm just not sure about how deep his feelings go, and I'll be damned if I'm going to go on a whim and put myself in a position to be hurt again.

This is unbelievable. We spend all that time together going pretty much nowhere because we both suck at communicating what we really feel, and now that we're not dating, it seems like we've taken a bigger step than we did when we were. Now all of a sudden neither of us seem to have a problem in telling the other our thoughts and opinions about certain things. We were able to do it right away too, because I can remember some of the talks we had while he was with Nicole, and it was like he and John had reversed roles. Luka and I could talk almost about anything and we made it seem like nothing had happened between us, and for a while Carter and me would have the silence that had hovered over the old relationship.

What the hell is wrong with us?! We have better communication apart than we have when we're together, and Carter and I were better friends when we were together and not apart. Although I've come to understand some of the reasons behind the latter one. This just confuses me now, augh. Oh well, best not to ponder it until I've gotten some sleep and have a bowl of ice cream in front of me. That way, when I get frustrated from not finding a solution, I can just melt my problems away in the form of raw cookie dough.

After checking in on BB, I go towards my new customer. Hmm, maybe this will be a good case for Gallant. Nothing like making a med student take stool samples. . . Damn, he got off when Carter went home. Oh well, it was wishful thinking. So instead, I get the joy of gloving up and diving in. That little chore done with, I run the sample to the lab, drop off the chart for a doc to grab and make my rounds to replace IV bags. I don't think the patients were liking the fact that I was beginning to yawn in between sneezes, so I just tell them that the former is just a side effect of the latter, which is a side effect of allergies. No use in making them nervous about me getting them sick, and I only have the sniffles anyway.

"Randi, what time is it?" I feel like I've been steamrolled as I drag myself back to the admit desk. I drop into a chair beside her and look at the magazine she's reading. . . There's no way in hell I'll ever wear that. It's. . . . dental floss? Eww. I spot the other page has horoscopes and I quickly read mine before she asks for it anyway.

'Your life has taken a turning point when the moon comes into alignment with Pluto this month. Take some time to evaluate what you want in your life and then go for it. Lucky days:. . .'

Just as I hit the last part Randi blows a particularly loud bubble that pops upon breech. I'm not totally sure I read it right, or the right sign. In all the years that I've ever bothered to glance at my horoscope for fun, it's never fit what was going on in my life. This has to just be a coincidence.

"Hey Abby what's your sign?"

"Can't tell. There's like an age limit on those things, don't read after the age of sixteen."

"Ha ha," she mocks through her chewing gum. "Mine says that true love is just around the corner and that I shouldn't wait to make the first move."

I suddenly need coffee, so I quickly excuse myself before I can do anything that would make her mad or cause me to burst out laughing. If I had a nickel for every time she got that horoscope I could buy that stupid line and destroy the rights to it so no one could ever use it again.

The lounge is blissfully empty. The fridge is agonizingly decimated. I need food too ya know. I notice dismally that the coffee is gone as well. I don't care, I'm too tired and lazy to dig around for the stuff to make more, so I'm just going to leave it for the next poor coffee seeking sucker. I take a falling land onto the couch and stretch all the way across it. It feels so good just to lay down and rest my head. I close my eyes and think about. . . nothing. And everything.

I hear the door open but don't bother to open my eyes. The person's footsteps stop just after entering, probably because they have just spotted me and think I'm asleep. I suppose I have to at least give some kind of greeting. "Hey to whoever you are."

I hear the freezer open and am tempted to remark that if they're looking for food they had better look somewhere else. Instead I think they've figured it out for themselves as it closes minutes later. Then the cupboards are being opened. Hmm, maybe the coffee seeking sucker has finally come to make coffee for the rest of us, because the general rule is: he who makes the coffee, never actually gets any. By the time it's done that person has likely been called away and when they return for their ever prized cup, it's gone again.

This train of thought leads me to a pre-sleep bliss. That however, is interrupted by a sudden cold jolt to my ankle. "Eek!" My eyes open and I finally see that the person is none other than Luka. And the cold jolt? He had come in and gotten some ice from the freezer and wrapped it in a thin towel to put on my appendage. "What are you doing? That's cold?" What have I been, reduced to a six year old with no medical knowledge other than my tummy hurts or it's cold?

Thankfully, he ignores my last statement and proceeds to lift my foot up before placing it back down on a pillow, rearranging the ice again. He looks up at me and smiles slightly, "Does that feel any better?"

I nod and look at the clock on the microwave. I wish I could see the numbers, I really do. All I see is a green blur. "What time is it?"

"Almost midnight." He comes and stands beside the couch, hands in his pockets. He's rocking himself back and forth, and it reminds me off a jittery little kid that needs to keep moving or they'll be easily distracted. We both just stay how we are for a few moments, and I think neither of us have an idea of what to say. He finally clears his throat and begins to excuse himself, "I'll let you get some rest."

Just before he reaches the door I call his name. "Thank you," and I mean for more than the ice. Thank you for caring. He knows it too and just nods before opening the door. I close my eyes again, and prepare to fall asleep, but the door hasn't closed yet. He must be just standing there, maybe thinking of something he wanted to say. He must have decided against it, and the door closes seconds later.

I fall asleep to visions of the rain. Of me and Luka, taking a walk, and getting soaked along the way.

END

I know this could have probably gone on longer, and could at least finish out Abby's shift, but I decided that this was a good place to stop, since her day was really over. When she woke up, she would be starting a new one.

There is a possibility that I will write a conclusion to this story, but I wanna know if there's an interest for it first. So, don't be shy about telling me what you think.

Anyways, gotta go.

Snow