Chapter Thirty-Four: Cruel to be Kind

Tears stung Emma's eyes as she clutched Manny in her arms. She held onto her friend until Javier cleared his throat. Emma reluctantly let Manny go. Manny gave Emma a shy smile.

"If you're done," Javier seethed.

Emma looked at him. She wanted to reply scathingly, but she knew he was her ride home. He could, and probably would, leave her here to fend for herself. She was as reluctant to be polite to this horrible excuse for a father as she was to end her embrace of Manny.

"Oh, baby," Amada said, tears streaming from her eyes. She rushed towards Manny, who took a step back. Emma could see it was automatic, but Amada stopped. She saw the hesitation for what it was. Manny still feared her mother.

Javier scowled. "We've come all this way, the least you can do is hug your mother. Or is Emma the only one you care about now? Hm? Did she raise you, Manuela?"

"Dad, stop," Manny replied.

"Or what? You'll cut your precious hair?"

Manny's face grew red with anger. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by an all too familiar snide voice.

"So, this is the little dykes parents, hm? Man, you guys sure screwed that bitch up."

Manny closed her eyes. "Go away, David."

"What? I just wanted to see who fucked you up so badly, baby. Damn, I can see what went wrong now."

Javier glared at the boy, his hands shook with rage. "What did you say?"

David laughed, full-throated. "If I were you, I'd get a new daughter, stat. Unless you're too old to take care of your wife, that is. Mmm, I think I could take one for the team," he said, looking up and down Amada.

Javier took the two steps distance between David and himself and pulled David up by his collar. "I am your elder, and you will show me some respect!" he growled.

A flash of surprise crossed David's eyes, but they soon cooled down. "Elder, huh? You ain't kidding."

Javier threw David down. He hit him over and over, taking all of his rage over Manny out on the young man.

Security was called. It took three large men and one female nurse to pull Javier off of David, who screamed about pressing charges. Blood was trickling from his mouth. The nurse ushered him off to be looked at. Javier was manually thrown from the ward, screaming for Amada and Emma to follow if they wanted a ride home.

Emma looked at Manny. Manny was smirking. Emma looked back to the chaotic scene, and coughed in her hand so no one could hear her struggle not to laugh.

Emma sat across from Manny. They were in Manny's room. Valerie had kindly vacated once the two girls came in. Emma was sitting on the other patient's bed.

They had spent an uncomfortable amount of time with Manny's mother, where Amada danced around Manny's illness for what seemed like hours. Occasionally she would look at Manny like all the problems of the world were her fault. It made her feel worse.

Mrs. Santos decided to let Manny and Emma speak alone for a time. She was off somewhere, talking to doctors and nurses as far as the girls knew. Checking up on Manny.

So far, all they had done once alone was stare at one another. Manny too blind to see Emma's pain, Emma too caught up in her thoughts to verbalize anything real.

"So," Manny whispered.

"So."

They couldn't meet each other's eyes for more than a mere moment. Each girl would shift, kick their feet, play with their shirtsleeves. Anything to avoid that agonizing look into one another's eyes.

"Did you give Theresa my letter?" Manny finally asked.

Emma's eyes flashed quickly in anger, and hurt. "Yeah," she replied curtly.

Confusion washed over Manny. She couldn't understand why Emma would be angry. Not now, not after everything that Manny had endured. She was unable to see the ache she caused in others, unless as a tool to make herself feel worse.

Manny's cheeks turned pink. The silence thickened in the room.

"That thing with dad was kinda funny," Manny said.

"I don't get it," Emma replied absentmindedly.

"Dad? Oh, he's just a big cranky Neanderthal—"

"Not that," Emma replied. "I don't get how…how blind you are."

"What?" Manny demanded. "What makes you think you can talk to me like that?"

Emma's eyes slowly shifted to meet Manny's. "I've earned it, Manny."

Manny stood up, anger chasing all of her reservations away. "Don't give me that, you know damn well what I've been going through! You can't—"

"Manny! You're not listening! And be quiet or the nurses might come in."

Manny sat down, crossing her arms. "Fine. What?"

"You promise to hear me out?"

"Yeah, yeah, what the hell do you want from me?"

Emma breathed in deeply. "This is hard…"

"What isn't, Emma?"

Emma held up her hand. "You promised you'd listen, and you damn well better or there is no point of me being here!"

Manny stared at Emma, a little surprised. She waited a moment before sighing, "Okay, okay, I'll listen."

Emma nodded at her. She paused, causing Manny to shift nervously.

"For years, we've been friends. Best friends. I can't even remember a time when we weren't. You're in all my memories, Manny. But when it mattered, when it really mattered, you shut down. You shut me out. You took everything you felt and locked it away. I watched you self-destruct but could do nothing to stop it. You wouldn't listen. And now look at you.

"I wanted to be there for you, but you wouldn't let me. With Craig, with Theresa. All of it. You've made a big mess of things, and maybe I didn't try hard enough. But maybe I couldn't try any harder.

"Manny, I love you. But you can't keep doing this. You can't lock yourself away and pretend I was never around.

"When you ran away, I sat for hours willing you to call, to write. Anything. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.

"And when you came home, when I finally got that letter, I was so excited. I knew you missed me too.

"But it was a lie. It was for her. You used me to get to her, used our friendship to further your own agenda.

"It hurt, Manny. It really hurt. I can't pretend I know what you're going through, but I can tell you that you've made a big mess of yourself.

"And I know, that's probably not the best thing I can say to you, but you did this, Manny. You had a hand in it, and you can pretend all you want. You know its true as much as I do.

"I wanted to help you. I wanted to pretend everything was okay, for you. So you could come home and feel safe, because I was still there, like some sad rock you haven't bothered to kick away.

"But I can't pretend things are alright. I can't be in denial. You're sick. But it's not just that," Emma swallowed, trying to form the right words. She looked Manny directly in the eye and said, "You are a stupid, selfish bitch."

Manny's jaw dropped.