'Kenren...where are you...why can I never find you...?'
The years have inched by, one lifetime after another, with each one lived in separation from those they care about most. Tenpou has never once seen Kenren, Konzen, or Goku since breathing his last immortal breath almost 500 years ago.
And neither have any of the others.
'Tenpou...this time...this time I'll find you...I promise...'
Every life is the same. They are born, they live out lives of tragedy, they never once meet any of the others, and then they die, all the while without any memory of their former lives until they are put back into the stream of reincarnation. For that brief span of time, when their souls are being prepared to enter into a new life, they remember everything, but still, they can never--ever--find each other.
They can never have the one thing they want.
'Kenren...I'm so sorry...we stood no chance...and yet we gave up everything...for nothing...'
'It was my fault, Tenpou...for being so reckless...if only I had known...'
'I'll find you, Kenren...somehow I'll find you...'
'If it takes me a thousand lifetimes, Tenpou...I swear I'll find you...'
-----
"Hey, you little brat, get back here!" Jien calls as he runs, trying very hard to hold back his laughter as he chases his younger brother down the hill, gaining on him by the minute. "Give me back my clothes right now, Gojyo, or I'm skinning you for dinner!"
Poor Jien made the mistake of going out for an afternoon dip in the pond near their house and left his clothes on the bank. When little Gojyo nabbed them and took off towards the house, he was forced to sprint--naked--after him.
As for Gojyo, right now he couldn't be having more fun.
"Catch me if ya can, aniki!" he squeals, darting back behind the house, and leaving Jien a good many yards behind him.
As Gojyo zigzags through the clothesline in the backyard, his brother's things tucked securely under his arm, he doesn't realize he is about to run into his stepmother until it is too late.
"Uff!" Gojyo falls back onto the ground, sending Jien's clothes up in a shower of articles that tumble down to land on top of him.
His stepmother has dropped the clean shirt she had been about to hang up, and spins around to see what caused the sudden jolt. When she sees Gojyo sprawled on the ground, her slitted eyes immediately narrow. "How dare you!" she growls, reaching down to snatch Gojyo up by the arm. "How many times have I told you not to disturb me? And now look! Look at all these clothes you've dirtied."
"But...but it was only the shirt you had, kaa-san. These are--"
"I don't want your excuses, you horrid little beast." she throws back, gripping his arm hard enough now to cause him to cry out in pain. "And don't call me that! You're not my son, and I am not your mother. You're...you're just a mistake nobody wanted!"
Gojyo's eyes go wide at that, and as she pulls back to strike him across the face he does not try to get away. He closes his eyes and waits for it. Anything to keep her from crying over him again...
"Mother, stop! Gojyo didn't do anything." appeals Jien's sudden voice, halting the blow.
Gojyo opens his eyes and sees that Jien has come up behind their mother and grabbed her arm to stop her. He also notices that Jien has a towel wrapped around his waist, something he must have grabbed off the line.
"Please, mother, they're just my clothes. He helped me carry them back from the pond, that's all, and he ran ahead without looking where he was going." Jien continues, releasing her arm and urging her gently to release Gojyo's in kind. "Right, Gojyo? That's what happened, isn't it?" he adds, looking to Gojyo with a raised eyebrow that demands for the boy to play along.
"...h-hai. I was...just trying to help." he nods, holding back the tears stinging in his crimson eyes.
His stepmother stares down at him, still furious, but she releases his arm anyway before pushing past him towards the front of the house.
Gojyo stays where he is a moment, having fallen onto his knees when he was let go, and looks in disdain at the red strands of hair falling into his eyes. "I hate my hair. My eyes, too. Why do they have to be red, Jien? Why do they have to make her hate me...?"
"She doesn't hate you." Jien offers in comfort, hoisting Gojyo up into his arms to carry him back into the house. Gojyo is tall for his age, so this isn't the easiest thing in the world, but Jien always manages anyway. "She just has a short temper and gets upset over silly things. Don't worry about it."
Gojyo sniffles and digs his head into Jien's chest as he is carried inside and brought to his room. "I'll clean your clothes if they got dirty. I'm sorry I took them. I just thought it'd be funny."
"It was funny, pal. I almost bust a gut."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You're a great kidder, making me run naked all the way home. Hehe. I owe you, ya know? I should give you a bath in pickle juice tonight to make up for it."
"Jien!"
Jien laughs and tosses Gojyo lightly onto his bed before hopping onto it himself to join him. "I'll grab you some dinner, k? You should probably stay clear of Ma for the night. And don't worry about my clothes. I'll get 'em later."
"Thanks, Jien." Gojyo smiles. The expression turns a little wicked then as the boy suddenly pounces on top of his brother, hanging on tight for a hug as they roll on the bed. "I love you, aniki."
A sad, little smile takes over Jien's features as he hugs Gojyo back. If he could have one wish, it would be for Gojyo to have a better life, with a mother that loved him besides just a brother. "I love you, too, squirt. So much..."
Perhaps...too much...
-----
"Gonou, are you sure you don't want to come outside with the other children? It's such a beautiful day and I'm sure they'd let you play with them."
Cho Gonou is sitting in the small library in his orphanage home. As always, a rather advanced book for one so young rests between his tiny hands, and he stares blankly at the pages, his lips set into a thin line, with eyes hidden behind glasses that look as if they have never known a smile.
The sister standing over him is one of the few yet to give up on breaking him from his shell. "Please, Gonou. It isn't good for you to stay inside all the time. You need to make friends with the other children."
"Why?" Gonou asks softly, not taking his eyes from the book.
The sister--Sister Patrice--is slightly thrown by this response. "Why? Because...everyone needs friends. Companions. Confidantes. You'll miss them when you're older if you don't learn to make them now."
"I don't need companions or confidantes." Gonou replies, flipping a page. "I don't need friends. I'm just an orphan nobody wants. What does it matter?"
Sister Patrice pulls up a chair next to the small brunette and smiles as reassuringly as she can. "I guarantee you that you are not just an orphan no one wants. We all care for you here, and when you turn 18 you will go out into the world to one day fall in love and start a family of your own."
Gonou turns another page, seemingly uninterested with either the conversation, the book, or both.
"Think on it, won't you? I'm only asking you to take a small reading break so you can go out and play with the others. Is that really so hard?"
At this, Sister Patrice gets up and slowly slips out the door, leaving the young boy to think about her request.
Gonou sits just as he is for a number of minutes more, turning each page with less and less enthusiasm, until a great sigh signals his defeat as he closes it and gets up, leaving it behind on the table.
He goes to the window at first, not quite sure he is ready to just rush outside and join in on the apparent fun. Some of the children are scrambling around on the small play set, others are jumping rope or skipping stones, and a few are even playing tag or hide and go seek. To a child his age, everything does indeed look fun, but he hesitates. He is not well liked by the other children due to his silence and his brooding moods.
Curiosity wins over in the end, however, and Gonou discovers his little feet are quickly leading him out of the room and outside to investigate first hand.
Once out in the sunshine, he shuffles his feet anxiously, looking from one group of happy children to the next, and wondering how on earth he is supposed to ask to join in without feeling any lower than he usually does. Off to his right and a bit ahead he can see Sister Patrice smiling at him.
He does not smile back.
"Look, the little bookworm finally crawled out of the library. Do you think the sun's gonna melt him? He's so white, you can practically see through him." a snotty boy with stringy blonde hair asks one of his friends as they pass Gonou by.
"He freaks me out." answers another, talking quite loud, enough for Gonou to clearly make out what they are saying. "He never talks and he's always looking at the rest of us with that creepy expression."
"No wonder he's an orphan." pipes in yet another. "His parents probably took one look at him and wished they could send him back. I don't even think I've ever seen him smile. Let's stay away from him."
"Yeah."
"No kidding."
"I don't want to play with him."
"He should just go back to his books."
So Gonou listens. He has never been very good at dealing with the other children's insults, and he is in no mood to deal with them now, even if it will cost him that suddenly unattractive quest to make friends.
With Sister Patrice looking on longingly, he slips back inside and heads for the library again, with his same, sad expression darkened a bit more than it had been, as if hiding something even more sinister than he may realize he possesses.
-----
"Sorry, Sanji, but that's all I can stick around for, tonight. Pay up."
"Come on, Gojyo, just one more hand. Let me win back something."
"No can do, pal. Gotta save a little time for the ladies. Right, Shai?"
The girl at Gojyo's side throws him a wink, hooking her arm with his as he stands from the poker table and waits for Sanji to pay his dues. It has been another successful night for the noted card shark, and with the beautiful Chiisa Shai on his arm--her rich brown hair falling in waves past her voluptuous body all the way to her waist--the night's winnings are only the beginning.
"Thanks again, Sanji." Gojyo smirks, pocketing his newly won cash. "Maybe a rematch tomorrow night, eh?"
"Yeah...maybe." Sanji grumbles, before heading to the bar to drown his sorrows in the few drinks he can buy with what money he has left.
Gojyo, however, is on cloud nine, and leads Shai out the door to walk her home, where he will most definitely be asked to stick around. He doesn't usually take girls back to his place, for obvious reasons: if he's in someone else's bed, he can leave in the morning before they wake up. Besides, he has only recently acquired a home of his own, finally able to leave cheap rooms in rundown inns behind him. The little house he bought isn't much, but it's his, one of the few things he has ever owned his entire life.
They walk in companionable silence for the most part. Shai isn't much of a talker, something Gojyo is very grateful for, and best of all she lives alone. Being a young teenager, Gojyo often ends up going after girls who still live with their parents, making sure the fathers around town don't care for him too much anymore. At 18, he has already bed a good many of the women in town at least once--he had been a rent boy back in the day when funds were tight, and now seeks women out for the company he grew accustomed to--and he prides himself on his flawless technique, both for getting women into the bedroom, and for what happens once they're there.
"You're such a sweet thing, Gojyo, walking a woman home this late." Shai smiles, laying her head on his shoulder as they walk. She is soft-spoken, with a feathery voice that melts in the air. "Tell me, why do you agree to spend time with me, someone twice your age, when you could be seeking out some pretty teenager?"
Gojyo grins in the dim lighting of the street; he has been with Shai a few times now, and she always asks him this. "No little girl could ever compare with you, Shai. I know a real woman when I see one. I just can't believe some guy hasn't swept you up and married you yet."
A light ring of laughter flutters from out of Shai's soft, pouting lips. "You know, you could always change that yourself."
"Hehe...yeah..."
"Who could say no to you, after all? With that gorgeous red hair and those crimson eyes to match. You're like a pixie out of a fairytale."
They have reached Shai's house, but at the door Gojyo hesitates. He had really been looking forward to a night away from home; why did she have to go and say something about his hair and eyes?
"Is something wrong, Gojyo?" Shai asks, releasing his arm as she pulls out her key to unlock the door. "You're coming in, aren't you? You deserve a reward after such a lucky win tonight, ne?"
"Uhhh...maybe some other night, Shai. I'm not in the mood right now. I'll see you later."
"But...Gojyo!" she calls after him, but it is already too late, because he is hurrying down the path to continue out of town towards his house.
'Every time.' he thinks bitterly, kicking at the stones along the way. 'Such a pretty red. Such pretty hair and eyes. What do they know, anyway? I never asked for this hair...these eyes. I never wanted them...'
When he does reach home and climbs into his cold, lonely bed, he does not sleep, but stays awake most of the night remembering why he hates his hair and eyes in the first place.
-----
"Great day today, minna! I'm very proud of you. Now, hurry home, and I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay! Sayonara, Sensei!" the children shout in unison, hurrying from the small schoolroom to head home for dinner.
Gonou smiles at the retreating rugrats, and reaches up to wipe his brow. Handling a classroom full of boisterous boys and girls is a real chore, but one he adores more than he ever thought possible.
Retreating back inside to collect his things, Gonou hums to himself happily, occasionally having to swipe some of his long brown hair out of his eyes, or having to push his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose.
"You have a lovely voice, you know? You should sing to the kids some time."
Gonou spins around with a smile, met by the sight of his dear Kanan poised in the doorway. "Why hello there. Came to pick me up, did you?"
"I wanted to hear right off the bat how your first day of teaching went. Not that I have any doubts it was wonderful, especially after seeing all those happy faces rushing past me on the way in."
Gonou laughs, finished putting all of his things into his bag as he heads for the door to join Kanan outside. "It was perfect. I just love working with the kids."
"I know." she smiles back, taking his arm once both are out in the sunshine. "Why is that? Not that there's anything wrong with loving children--I certainly do, and I love that you do, too--but why were you so adamant to get this job? You acted like you wouldn't have been happy with anything else."
"I don't think I would have been." he answers truthfully, peeking over his shoulder at the school as it disappears behind them. "When I was a boy, I wasn't the happiest child, so I suppose I feel perhaps a little responsible for making sure no other children grow up as I did."
"You certainly turned out all right to me."
"I mean the way I grew up, not the result." he grins, reaching his hand up to playfully tap his love on the nose. "I want to do for others what was so hard for the sisters to do for me. I just want to see the children happy and to teach them as much as I can along the way."
Kanan pauses in her step, forcing Gonou to stop as well. She clasps his free hand tightly and turns to face him. "I love you, Cho Gonou. To find someone so kind and equally beautiful makes me the luckiest person in the world."
Gonou's smile widens. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?" he speaks softly, leaning in a little closer.
"Hmm...I might let you have it back if you convince me."
"Yare, yare...how on earth am I going to do that...?" Gonou whispers, before closing the small gap between them and pressing his lips firmly to hers.
Sadly, the sweet moment does not last long.
"Ewww, Sensei's kissing a girl!"
Gonou and Kanan almost burst out laughing into each other's mouths as they turn to locate the source of this sudden voice, and see that a small group of Gonou's students are just ahead of them. There are a handful of boys and girls, the girls now sporting bright red blushes, while the boys are grimacing.
"Is she your girlfriend, Sensei?" inquires a cute little redhead with pigtails and a teal jumper.
Kanan raises a humored eyebrow to see how Gonou will react.
"Ano...well...yes, Mika, she is. Children, this is Kanan. She is a very kind woman, so please be kind to her in return."
"Hi, Kanan!"
"You're real pretty."
"You're pretty just like Sensei."
"Can you come visit us some time?"
"Oh, I don't know about that." Kanan smiles, still holding tightly to Gonou's hand as she turns more fully to address the many bubbling children. "I'd certainly love to visit you, if you want. That is, if it's all right with your teacher, of course."
Gonou laughs a little, suddenly under fire of an onslaught of hopeful looks upon young, rounded faces. "I don't see a problem with that. Personally, I think we should ask Miss Kanan to come for reading time once in a while. She tells marvelous stories."
Kanan promptly blushes, but nods as the children begin to bounce with excitement at the prospect.
"I guess that settles it then. But you children better run on home so your parent's don't think I've stolen you away, okay?" Gonou instructs.
Pausing long enough to shout their thanks as they wave goodbye, the children are soon racing ahead to their homes, once again leaving Gonou and Kanan alone. The pair continues on in peaceful quiet before reaching the edge of town where their home rests. They haven't been living together long, but their neighbors can't comment enough on how they seem as if they are already married, and is if they have been for years.
At 18, Gonou is the youngest teacher the town has ever known, and his maturity and tactfulness--not to mention his good looks--has made Kanan the envy of every women around.
"I really do love you, Gonou. So much." Kanan coos, shutting the door behind them as Gonou walks in to set his bag where it belongs.
Gonou smiles back at her, speaks something that could have been taken right from poetry, and kisses her again, thinking that he must indeed be the luckiest person in the world, and as long as they get to be lucky together, he will always have a reason to smile.
-----
"I can't believe I'm doing this. Did the words, 'No, Doc, I can take care of him myself right here,' actually leave my lips? I must be going out of my mind."
Sitting in a chair next to his now occupied bed, Sha Gojyo leans forward and sighs. No, there is no buxom woman lying there about to be ravished, only an unconscious and wounded young man with shaggy brown hair and green eyes Gojyo only got a glimpse of. He doesn't even know the poor guy's name.
"So here we are, buddy. Me and you." Gojyo speaks, resting with his elbows on his knees as he talks to the comatose patient breathing so irregularly on his bed. "I could have left you there, ya know, lying in the mud with the rain pouring down on you. But...no, I couldn't. Even if you hadn't looked up at me like that, I probably still would have hoisted you up, carried you back here, and stuffed your guts back in til the doctor came. Well, no one ever said I was that smart, now, did they?"
The young man says nothing, of course, but his breathing seems to stabilize at the sound of Gojyo's voice. Gojyo notices this, so he decides to keep talking.
"Sexy voice, huh? Too bad you're not a woman. Actually, scratch that. Thank the gods you're not a woman coz I'd probably hit on you the second you woke up. You are gonna wake up, ya here me? Gotta find out who I saved, after all. I'm Gojyo, by the way. Sha Gojyo. A confirmed bachelor at 19, and the best damn poker player you'll ever meet. Hey, maybe we can play a game some time. You know, if I guessed, I'd say you're probably about the same age as me. Makes me wonder even more...how you ended up out there like this...bleeding so bad. Doc said it's gonna scar. I'm sorry. But, hey, at least it's somewhere you can hide it. Woulda sucked if it'd been on that pretty face of yours."
Gojyo grins to himself, wishing he could have some signs of life on the other end of the conversation, but happy enough that the doctor said there's a good chance this stranger will pull through.
Casting a quick glance outside and at the clock on the wall, Gojyo realizes just how late it is. It was almost midnight when he found the guy, after all, so he shouldn't be surprised that it is now almost half past three.
"Listen..." Gojyo starts in again, leaning a little further forward to hush his voice, as if there is some secret he needs to keep from the flies on the walls. "...I know you're banged up real bad and all, and I'd like to give you your space, but the Doc said to keep you warm, and...well...this is the only bed, see? I don't even have a couch. So...either I sleep on the floor, or...I offer a little body heat. Understand?"
The young man remains as still as ever, though his breathing has evened out even more than before.
"Well, since it seems you don't mind me too much, I guess I'll take that for permission."
Gojyo stands and begins to dress himself for bed, which basically involves tossing off his shirt and shaking out his long, red hair. He blows out the small lamp near the bedside, and then carefully feels his way to the bed. Gently, he nudges his guest to one side of the mattress, being more tender and caring then he ever would have given himself credit for before now, and then slips under the covers.
It is strange at first, sharing his bed with a man, especially one he's never met. The last time he slept in the same bed as someone who wasn't a woman he had just fooled around with was after a nightmare a few days before...before Jien saved his life...and then left it for good. Still, although this situation brings up a few painful memories, Gojyo feels at ease...for the first time in years.
A deep breath brings in a mingling of scents as he stares up at the ceiling, tired, but not quite ready to drift off. There is something like medicine combined with mud and rainwater that is drifting from the still stranger, but there is also something else, something purely unique that radiates from the brunette in oddly familiar waves. If Gojyo didn't know better, he would swear he had slept beside this man before.
Turning his head, he takes a peek at the man's face, now so close to his own. Pale skin, delicate, feminine features, and long eyelashes lie beside him. The young man is indeed pretty for all his bruises and cuts. Even a lady's man like Gojyo can't deny that.
"Looks like we'll be roomies for a while, stranger." Gojyo whispers, unthinkingly curling in closer to the warmth of the body next to him. "I can't wait to meet you..."
-----
'This time, Kenren...this life...I swear I'll meet you...'
'I'll remember somehow, Tenpou...and I'll find you...and it'll be just as it was before...'
'Me and you...friends and lovers...like before...only...only this time you'll know how I feel...'
'This time...I'll get the chance to say those words back to you...I promise...'
-----
End Part 7
A/N: That was...very interesting. I didn't once think, I just went with what came to me, and poof! Moments in both boys' life until they are brought together again.
Now, for those who may be under the misconception that this is the end, I can tell you it is not. There will be at least another part, if not two or three, so hang in there for more. Love you all, you wonderful reviewers you.
Me-Nuriko--Thanks you for the vote of confidence. I hope I lived up to your expectations so far and that I will continue to as Gojyo and Hakkai tell their side of the story.
KawaiiLilMarron--There is nothing wrong with being a transvestite Kenren. It's just nice to know he's getting some recognition.
Seaflower (and so many others brought to tears) --Thank you so much. It was very hard to write, but so worth it.
Krazy-chan--Glad I could help, and I agree. The Gaiden is wonderful.
Zelgadis55--Awww. I loved writing that last part so much. I'm so glad it was to everyone's liking and I hope it will continue to be.
And to all the rest, thank you so much. This is such a fun fic, even with all the angst. More to come, so keep a look out. Love ya, minna!
Crim