"Damn it, saru, enough already! Go to bed!"
A familiar voice rings loud and rough through the trees surrounding the ikkou's makeshift camp. Hakuryuu is not in the mood to sleep as the jeep, so the group has been forced to take refuge in a nearby clearing. In all honesty, most of them prefer times like this. The ground is always more comfortable than a seat.
A fire rests in the center of the clearing. Hakuryuu is layed out in front of it, Sanzo sits close by, along with Hakkai and Gojyo, and Goku stands hovering near a nearby tree, looking up hungrily at a bee hive in one of the branches.
"But, Sanzo! I can almost reach it, and I'm so hungry!" Goku whines, jumping up and down as he swipes at the abandoned hive. Since there are no bees, there is most likely no honey, either, but Goku doesn't seem to realize this.
BANG! BANG!
The hive falls from the tree, landing at Goku's feet. A lone bee flies out and then off into the woods. Goku picks up the hive happily, instantly digging in a hand to get at the remaining honey. "Sankyuu, Sanzo!"
Sanzo grimaces, putting his gun back within his robes. "I was aiming for you, stupid monkey..."
Hakkai shuckles. "I highly doubt that." he smiles. "At any rate, you've made him happy. But, Goku!" he adds, calling to the younger boy, who is now stuffing his face with a sticky mass. "Please, go to bed. You can save the rest of what's in there for tomorrow. Sanzo would like an early start."
Grudgingly handing Hakkai the hive, knowing the healer will keep good watch over it, Goku licks his fingers clean and goes to lie down near Sanzo. Sanzo, too, lies back, trying his best to appear as if he is keeping his distance, while maintaining a certain closeness to Goku, as well.
Gojyo stretches back, watching his companions a moment, then turns his attention on Hakkai, who has set the hive aside and is staring up at the clear, starlit sky. "Pretty night, huh?"
"Indeed."
"Almost feels like being home, doncha think? Watching the stars on the roof..."
A more genuine smile seeps into Hakkai's expression. "Yes..."
Gojyo looks up at the sky a bit longer, then turns back to Hakkai. "I suppose we should be hitting it, too, huh? I'm just...not all that tired."
"I feel the same. Care for a walk before bed?" Hakkai suggests, tearing away from the beauty of the sky to face a very different sort of beauty. He smiles warmly, a slight tilt to his head. It is an expression Gojyo can rarely, if ever, say no to.
"Sounds perfect."
The pair gets up, passes a quick glance at their already sleeping companion and their obviously still awake companion--despite all of Sanzo's attempts to feign slumber--and head down a path in the trees towards the sound of running water. They walk in comfortable silence until reaching the source of the sound. A small brook.
Gojyo sits down by the bank; Hakkai stands nearby, leaning against a tree. There is no need for words, but, as always, Gojyo finds himself talking anyway.
"Think we'll reach a town tomorrow?"
Hakkai nods, though Gojyo isn't looking at him to see it. "Yes. Before dinner, I imagine, which will make Goku happy."
Gojyo gives a short laugh, lighting a cigarette that blinks bright red in the darkness. "You cater to that monkey too much. He's turning into a spoiled brat."
"Turning into? You must be in a good mood tonight." Laughter. Easy laughter.
Gojyo echoes it. "You just gotta twist everything I say, doncha?"
"Naturally."
A snort. "Prick."
A chuckle. "Delinquent."
"Me? I'm just misunderstood."
Hakkai laughs a little louder this time and moves from his tree to sit beside Gojyo. It is a bit chilly tonight, and he doesn't realize how close he is settling himself beside the warmth of Gojyo's body.
Of course, Gojyo doesn't notice, either. At least, not enough to tell Hakkai to keep his distance.
"Sometimes...I miss this."
Gojyo turns, puzzled by this sudden admission. "What do you mean?"
Smiling somberly, Hakkai stares out at the softly shimmering water. "Just...this. Us. Alone. Not worrying about the next attack or how all of this is going to end."
A half-smirk twitches at Gojyo's mouth. "Yeah..."
On the ground lies Gojyo's pack of cigarettes. Without really thinking about it, Hakkai reaches for it and pulls a stick out, picking up Gojyo's lighter as well to light it and bring it to his lips in a motion far too smooth for someone who has never touched such things before. Gojyo watches in amazement, following every movement until the pack and lighter are back on the ground and Hakkai is merely sitting there, smoking just as casually as he is.
"I miss something? Since when do you smoke?"
It takes these words to bring to Hakkai's attention just what he has done and what he is currently doing. He starts. Pulling the cigarette slowly from his lips, he stares at it in his hand as if he has no idea how it got there.
"Guess you were in the sun too long today. You're startin' to lose it." Gojyo smirks, nudging his friend in the side.
Hakkai smiles lightly and shrugs, deciding he might as well finish what he started. He places the cigarette back in his mouth and takes a long drag. Gojyo watches, expecting his friend to choke on the taste at any moment. He is not disappointed when the sound of coughing never comes, but finds the sight of Hakkai smoking oddly...soothing.
Maybe it has something to do with breaking the healer's perfect, clean-cut image. Maybe not.
"So...how does it taste?" Gojyo asks with a sidelong glance, blowing out a puff of his own cig's smoke to stream up into the cool night air.
Hakkai takes another drag and pulls his cigarette out to rest nimbly in his fingers again. "Rather...wonderful, to be honest. I hope I don't get myself addicted."
"Better stick with only one then. If you go for another, I'll just have to swat your hand away."
"Oh you will, will you?"
Gojyo nods authoritatively. "I was just shocked this time around. But, as you well know, there are three things I am very picky about. Booze. Women."
"And nicotine." Hakkai finishes, smiling knowingly back at Gojyo. "I won't forget."
The pair sit in silence then, surrounded by the small buzzes of the forest, the rustling of the brook, the sight of the brilliant stars above, and the smell of sweet smoke wafting between them.
When their cigarettes have lost their flavor, Hakkai rises, stretching his arms up high above his head. "Shall we head back then?"
"Yeah..." Gojyo agrees, breaking into a yawn. He stands as well, after pocketing his pack and lighter, and they head back into the trees towards camp.
The fire has died a little since they left, and it appears that Sanzo is no longer faking his sleep. Small snores emit from Goku, but that is nothing unordinary. They make their way back over to their chosen spots by the fire quietly. Hakkai fiddles a bit with the fire to bring it back to life, pats the sleeping Hakuryuu lightly on the head, and then turns to Gojyo, who is already lying down.
The kappa lies on his side, facing Hakkai, still awake as he watches his friend openly. Hakkai smiles back at him and crawls over to lay down as well. He mirrors Gojyo, lying on his side facing the redhead without any signs of shame. They find they cannot look away as they lie there, only inches apart, both caught by the familiarity of it all, as if they were back home, sharing the same bed.
"...'Kai...?" Gojyo whispers, staring perhaps a little too deeply into the emeralds so near him.
"Yes, Gojyo...?"
"...you better move that hive or you're gonna have honey in your hair in the morning."
Hakkai blinks. Then, looking towards the top of his head, he sees the small hive balancing on its side close by. Too close. He chuckles and lifts himself just enough to grab the hive and set it at a safer distance. He lies back down, smiling at Gojyo in gratitude.
Oddly, he finds that his face feels a little flushed now, though he isn't sure why. For some reason, Gojyo's whispered utterance of his name like that...made his skin tingle.
"Gojyo..."
"Yeah...?"
Hmm. What did he mean to say? "...it's nothing."
"No, what is it?"
Hakkai tries his very best to look back at Gojyo without staring into those crimson depths. Seeing as how he adores looking into them, however, this is clearly impossible. "Really, it's nothing. I'm so tired, I'm...talking for no reason."
"Sorry. Guess I'm keeping you up."
"No. I'm tired, but...I still don't think I can sleep."
Gojyo nods. He feels exactly the same. Still unable to take his eyes from Hakkai, the cold air begins to get to him and he starts to shiver.
Hakkai notices this and his brows furrow. "Cold? I can get you a blanket out of the packs."
Such a typical response, Gojyo can't help grinning. He is cold, but he doesn't want Hakkai to leave his line of sight. "Don't worry about it. It's not so bad, with the fire...and you so close..."
Swallowing slightly, Hakkai wonders how he should take that. "Would you...like me to move away...?"
Gojyo shakes his head.
"Would you...like me to move...closer...?"
Beat. They stare. Emerald into crimson. Colors drowning. Gojyo's mouth feels so unbelievably...dry suddenly. But, despite everything, he finds himself nodding yes.
Hakkai scoots closer, barely an inch between them when he finally stills. Their faces are so close, both can clearly make out the lingering scent from their cigarettes. It is sweet and bitter all at once, mingling with their shared breath, a breath stunted by how both momentarily forget how to breathe.
Their eyes are still locked. How is this night different from so many others, both find themselves wondering. In truth, it is like many before it, and yet...one, small, unconscious choice...can change everything.
"Gojyo..."
"Yeah...?"
"...are you...warm now?"
"Yeah. Maybe a little too warm..."
"Would you like me to--"
"I don't want you to move away."
"...alright."
They continue to stare, their breaths still wrapped in each other's, and find the space between them lessening more and more. They make no conscious effort, they are merely closer suddenly, their chests and hips almost touching.
Hakkai swallows again--hard. His breaths begin to come in gasps. "I...I've wanted...for so long...to...tell you something..."
Gojyo's own breathing begins to pick up pace. "I've wanted...to hear you tell me something...for even longer..."
A small, frightened, little smile. "Do you...suppose...it is the same...something...?
"I'd be willing to bet on it..."
"...Gojyo..."
"...yes, 'Kai...?"
Hakkai's voice is barely a whisper. "I...think I might..."
Gojyo dives deeper into the green so close...so close now...
"...love you..."
...and falls into a well of green so perfect, he does not care if he drowns. "I love you, too, Tenpou, so much..."
And the colors explode, lost in each other, fading and losing contact as lips form together instead.
It is so late in the night now, their minds both so tired and weary, the kiss could be a moment that seems an eternity...an eternity that lasts but a moment. And indeed, it is.
When they pull back, both are smiling and staring once more into each other's eyes. There is no such thing as almost touching; their chests and hips have formed them into a single being.
Hakkai smiles. Gojyo grins. Hakai swallow--again. Gojyo laughs. Hakkai lifts a hand to stroke at Gojyo's cheek. Gojyo closes his eyes to block out everything but how perfect it feels to have that hand on his cheek. And...they both know...this is enough.
A thousand I love yous Gojyo has said and never meant, but only this I love you he meant though for so long couldn't say.
"Gojyo..." Hakkai speaks, his breath stable now, though his voice seems softer. "...what did you call me just now?"
For a moment, Gojyo's mind draws a blank. He had said 'Hakkai', hadn't he? Everything in him tells him that he said the name of the man in front of him, but he knows, the more he thinks on it, that 'Hakkai' is not what left his lips.
"You called me...what Homura calls me." Hakkai explains, answering his own question. It strikes Gojyo then how true that is. "You don't suppose...you and I...in another life...?"
Gojyo's grin returns. "I never suppose...but I'll tell you what I know. Telling you I love you has lifted more weight off my shoulders than anything in my whole life, like I've been waiting all this time just to say it."
"As have I. And waiting to hear it."
"And waiting to kiss you."
"And waiting to be this close--"
"Without being able to blame it on shifting in our sleep."
Hakkai laughs, loudly, instantly realizing how loud it actually is, and clamping his hand over his mouth to silence the sound. Both peak through the fire and see Sanzo shift. Thankfully, he does not rouse.
"Sorry." Gojyo grins, a little lopsided.
"No matter. But...tell me...what does this mean for us?"
Gojyo scoots a little further forward, pressing his hips and chest deeply into Hakkai's. Hakkai gives a small gasp. Gojyo shivers. "I guess...it means...we're in deep shit."
To keep from laughing again, Hakkai is forced to bite his lip. Or...maybe...he is biting it to keep from uttering a very different sound. "G-Gojyo...we...this is...oh my..."
"I couldn't have said it better myself..."
"Are we...really on the same page here?"
"I think so. Unless...that's Sanzo's gun in your pocket."
Hakkai chokes down another laugh. "You're...terrible."
Gojyo is undaunted. "You're beautiful."
"We are...clearly out of our minds."
"Clearly..."
"I do love you, Kenren..."
"Me, too. Wait. What...?"
At first, Hakkai's eyes narrow as he works out what he just said. But in the end, he merely shrugs. They are even now. In more ways than they realize.
Nothing more is said or done this night, other than the pair drifting to sleep in a position far more intimate than any they have ever both consciously allowed. And...though he doesn't understand quite why...just before they close their eyes, Hakkai looks one last time deeply into Gojyo's...and for the briefest of moments...he would swear...they flash blue.
'I love you...so much...'
'And now...I've finally found you...'
THE END
A/N:
How can you ever forgive me for taking so long? By...loving the ending I have finally giving you perhaps? Please, please? And...by yelling at me through reviews? Praise is also welcome, of course. :-)
Anyway, I am happy to see this fic finished, even if it did take me forever to figure out how to end it right. I am satisfied with this. I don't know if this fic actually resembles anything I originally intended, but I like it, and I would LOVE to know what you all think. Thank you as always to each and every READER, not just REVIEWER. I have been pleased to share this with you. Have a great last few days of summer, and as always, I'll see ya next ficcie! Love you all!
Crimson