Chapter 18...

"Fumbling Toward Ecstasy"

Sarah McLachlan

All the fear has left me now

I'm not frightened anymore

It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh

It's my mouth that pushes out this breath

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it

I won't fear love

"Married! They're getting married! Please tell me you are joking!" Nicki shrieked as she shuffled around her two bedroom apartment. One room for her and the other for any night time guest she might be hosting. Although chances were slim to non that her visitor would be sleeping in a room other than hers.

Her arms were flailing around, somewhat resembling a monkey or some other animal that might be found at a city zoo. Brooke followed close behind her, picking up random pieces of clothing that Nicki had dropped in preparation to do laundry. Sometimes Brooke felt like an accomplice, but other times she felt like she was Nicki's slave, like she was doing all the behind the scene work that was getting Nicki to the bad girl fame that Brooke so desperately longed for.

Nicki dropped the pile of clothing onto a rug covering her hard wood floor. She put her hands on her hips, "I come all the way back here," She picked a glass off of the side table and prepared to throw it, "to find Lucas engaged to some...CLASS PRESIDENT!" She threw the glass at the television. The glass shattered into tiny pieces. Brooke rushed over to the mess and began to clean it up because, of course, that is what Nicki expected her to do.

"This must be a joke. A hideous, cruel joke." She let out a small laugh and turned to Brooke, "Tell me you are joking." No answer. "Tell me you are joking!" She screamed at Brooke, who finally looked up from her work.

"Not joking." She looked back down at the mess and picked up the final pieces. "Want to hear something else?"

Reaching into her refrigerator, Nicki pulled out a pre-made martini and took one long drink. Finishing off the glass she said, "Sure, shoot." She tossed the glass into the sink and turned to Brooke, "I am sure it couldn't make the day any worse."

"They aren't even having sex." Brooke said, under her breath as she tossed the remnants of the broken glass into the wastebasket. She watched Nicki stand up from behind the island in her small kitchen. A look of shock and disgust swept across her face.

"Lucas Scott is with a girl who is not even putting out." From the cabinet, she pulled a bottle of tequila out. Opening it and taking a swig, she said, "This is all far too surreal for me. I leave for a couple months and he is with the virgin of virgins. That is a huge lower of standards after being with me."

"Or rising depending on how you look at it." Nicki shot her a death stare from across the room. Brooke sat on the couch and turned on the television. Before she could get situated, Nicki spoke.

"Are you coming to the laundry with me or not?" Brooke jumped off of the couch and picked the dirty clothes off of the floor. Whatever Nicki asked, Brooke did. That's just how it was.

"Miss Carter? Mr. Scott, I am sorry but visiting hours are over. Only members of the family may stay." A homely looking nurse said as she tapped Lucas on the shoulder. He had fallen asleep in Madison's room. When he was woken by the nurse, he noticed that Madison was still asleep.

After deciding whether or not to address the fact that he was a member of the family considering she was his fiancée, he came to the conclusion to just leave the situation as is. Lucas stood up and made his way out of the room, hoping that Madison would wake up and say, "Don't go. He is my fiancé." She didn't and he continued out of the room.

He went through magazine after magazine, really not even looking at them. All he could think about was her and how lucky he was to have finally met someone who cared about him the way she did. Whether she was health or not didn't matter to him. He was just happy to have spent the amount of time with her that he had. Of course he wished that everything would be okay in the end, but you just never know. One upon a time love stories usually don't contain a terminal illness. Snow white's biggest problem: dwarfs. Sleeping Beauty: sleep. Cinderella: her evil step mother and sisters. Madison: Leukemia.

The nurse from before came toward Lucas. "She is asking for you." He stood up and she whispered in his ear, "I am really not supposed to do this, but she told me about your engagement." Her voice perked up and she continued, "So I just couldn't keep you two lovebirds away from one another."

Lucas smiled at her comment and thought to himself, "Let's just hope something else doesn't come between us now."

Haley bit her lip as she stood behind the counter at the café. The clock only read twelve fifteen but she knew it had to be later. She twisted her brown hair in a knot and tossed it over her shoulder. Her fingers on the counter top started a rhythm that her left foot began to follow. Tap, tap, tap.

Karen came up behind her, quietly. "You know Haley; you have never looked so desperate to leave before." She wiped off the wooden countertop and walked around the counter. She then began to clean off several other tables.

"Its not that I am desperate to leave," Haley replied, continuing to bite her bottom lip. Once she felt blood, she moved her finger to her mouth. Damn, I did it again. She thought to herself. "Its just that, well, you know, Madison is in the hospital and I haven't heard from anyone since she got there."

Looking up from the table, Karen nodded her head and said, "Well go see them. I will call Jake. I am sure he won't mind coming in and working for a couple hours." She walked back behind the counter and picked up the phone off of the wall, "He usually likes to get a few hours in anyways."

Haley gave her a hug, grabbed her keys and headed out the door of the café.

"One more!" Dan Scott shouted as he threw the basketball in the direction of his son. Nathan had been shooting free throws for the past three hours. Nathan shot once more and Dan called out, "Damnit Nathan. Until you can make 100 in a row there is no way in hell you are leaving this court."

As a child, Nathan thought it would be a cool idea to have your own basketball court at your house. That was until he found out he lived with the Adolf Hitler of Tree Hill Basketball. "No Scott of mine is going to be anything less that perfect at basketball." Dan would say as he walked around the basketball court, both eyes on Nathan.

"Shit dad, all I want to do is go see Haley. She called me. She wants me to go to the hospital with her." Nathan said, resting the ball on his hip.

"Haley?" Dan asked as he picked a loose ball off of the ground. "Who's that?"

"My girlfriend you old asshole and Madison, her best friend and my brother's girlfriend is in the hospital."

"Oh, that's a relief. I thought you got this Haley character pregnant and she wanted you to go to the clinic with her or something." He pointed to the basketball in Nathan's arms and then pointed up at the goal. "Shoot."

"You are such a bastard." Nathan said throwing the ball as hard as he could at his father. "Here's the ball." He started to walk back in the house through the back door. "You can do whatever the hell you want to do with it. Shove it up your ass for all I care."

Peyton Sawyer was laying on Jake Jagielski's couch when he got the phone call to go in to work. Jenny, Jake's daughter, sat on Peyton's chest any played with her silver necklace. "Wasn't Haley working?" She asked, slowly sitting up as to make sure Jenny wouldn't fall off. He nodded. "What was she doing that was so important that she had to leave?"

Peyton swung her legs over the edge of the couch and sat the baby next to her. Jake walked behind the couch and kissed the two girls on the head. "Haley had to go to the hospital."

Concerned, she asked, "Is she okay? Whats wrong? Do I need to go?"

Jake ran his hand over her head and reached deep into his pockets for his keys, "Its not Hailey.."

"Is it Nathan? Lucas?" She stood up from the couch, picked up Jenny, and followed Jake to the door. "I have to go."

"It's Madison."

"Madison?"

"She has leukemia."

"Oh my god." Peyton fell into the chair diagonal from the couch. "I can't believe it. I feel so stupid. Like I should have known."

"Don't feel bad," He said, "No one knew. Not even Lucas."

"Is she going to be okay? When, how did they find out?"

"Hopefully and I don't know." He kissed Peyton once more, this time on the lips and kissed his daughter on the forehead. "Bye girls. I will be home later."

Peyton nodded and watched Jake leave the house. She couldn't believe it. One of her best friends was dying and all she was doing was sitting around. What a pathetic friend she was.