Chapter 19...
"My Immortal"
Evanescence
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
Everyone was there. The hospital room was full. She was too sick to leave so when Lucas and Madison decided it was time for the wedding, the wedding had to come to her. She looked down at the white robe she was dressed in. "Not exactly the white I was hoping for," She ran her hands over the robe and let her feet dangle over the bed, "But I guess that it's going to have to work."
Lucas and Jake took her by the arms and helped her off the bed. They had tried to tell her to just do it while she was still in the bed, but she refused saying that she wanted it "to be as normal as possible". She hadn't been out of the bed in days that was until now. She asked herself what she was doing, but then she would answer I am doing what I need to do.
Knowing that this was her last chance to make something of her life scared her. She had hoped her whole life to have a huge family, a farm, a white picket fence, and the whole nine yards. Now here she was getting married at 17 because she was running out of time. There would be no time for the kids, the house, or the fence. Her heart ached just thinking about it.
She leaned against the end of the bed waiting for a wheelchair. When Nathan came in wheeling the chair in front of him, Madison kissed him on the cheek and winked at him. She sat down in the chair and Lucas pushed her toward the hospital chapel. Peyton, Nathan, Haley, Jake and baby Jenny in his arms followed. Madison looked back at them and asked Lucas, "Where is Brooke? I wanted her to be here."
Lucas shrugged his shoulders and entered the chapel. The pastor stood at the front. Everyone took their seats. Lucas pushed her up to the front of the chapel. He shook the pastor's hand, as did Madison.
Looking around, the pastor smiled. "Looks like a good group of friends." Lucas and Madison looked back at their friends, smiling. They turned back to the pastor who began. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in the eternal bonds of matrimony." Lucas and Madison turned to one another and smiled. Lucas was beaming. "This is a very special moment in both of their lives. Madison and Lucas have known one another for so long and have made each other who they are today. Through marriage, Lucas and Madison make a commitment to one another to face their disappointments, embrace their dreams, realize their hopes, and accept each other's failures. Lucas and Madison will promise one another to aspire to these ideals throughout their lives together, through mutual understanding, openness, and sensitivity to each other."
Madison looked Lucas in the eyes and said to him, "This is real." He nodded and she said, "We are doing this." Tears began to fall down her face.
"Do you Lucas Scott take Madison Carter to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, for richer for poorer, through sickness and in health," Lucas gave Madison a smile and began to cry at the last comment made by the pastor realizing that each day he was with her could be his last, "for better for worse, in sadness and in joy, until death do you part?"
Madison wiped Lucas' face and he replied, "I will." He slid the ring onto her finger. She looked down at it and smiled at him, quickly wiped her own eyes.
"And do you Madison Carter take Lucas Scott to be you husband? Will you love him, comfort him, for richer for poorer, through sickness and in health, for better for worse, in sadness and in joy, until death do you part?"
She took at deep breath, realizing what she was about to do, "I will." She placed the ring on his finger. It was real now, they were really married.
"And so, by the power vested in me by the State of North Carolina and Almighty God, I now pronounce you man and wife, and may your days be good and long upon the earth."
Lucas and Madison were beaming, looking at each other with looks of love that no one in the world could imagine. Lucas looked at the pastor, waiting for the next words to come out of his mouth.
"Okay, well Lucas, you may now kiss your bride."
He leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. She so desperately wanted to stand, but the weakness of her body just wouldn't allow it. Lucas pulled her up out of the wheel chair and carried her out of the chapel. Everyone followed them out, Haley pushing the wheelchair.
Haley's face was red. Peyton's eyes were tear filled as were Jake's and even Nathan's. "I am so happy. Oh my god, Madison I couldn't be any happier for you right now." Haley said embracing Madison who was still in Lucas' arms.
He sat her back in the chair and Peyton squatted in front of her. "I know I have been a real shitty friend Maddie, but I love you like you are my own blood and I am so damn happy for you right now I can hardly stand it." She embraced her and whispered in her ear, "I guess if you want those twenty kids, you better get started."
She pulled away and watched the tears swell up in Madison's eyes. Nathan looked over at them, "What the hell did you say?" Nathan hugged Madison, "What's wrong?"
"All I said was something about kids." Jake hit Peyton on the arm.
"Why would you say that Peyton? You know how badly she wants kids and she can't have any right now."
"Will you please stop reminding me!" Madison screamed, "Damnit just because I am dying doesn't mean I am deaf. This is supposed to be the happiest time in my life..." She began sobbing and dropped her head, "Why the hell am I so damn depressed?" All the anger had welled up in her body and was now erupting, "God!" She looked at her friend and yelled, "I just wish I could be normal. That is why I never told you all. I was scared; I was scared that this would happen."
"Come on Madison, we need to go back to the room." Haley said pushing her back toward the room. Once she was in, Haley spoke again, "Madison, no one is trying to make you upset." She put her arm under Madison back, trying to help her back into the bed.
Madison pulled herself up into her bed and said, "Hales I know, but no one understands the position I am in right now." She put her hands behind her head. "All I want to do it grow old." She smiled at the thought of being seventy and sitting on the porch in rocking chair watching her grandchildren playing in the yard. "I just want to have a family. I want to have the things that I missed out on in my life. I want to be a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a pet owner. I know it all sounds so simple but I want it so badly. I will be lucky if I even get to live to be able to buy cigarettes, nevertheless buy baby diapers."
"Don't talk like that Madison. That isn't true." Haley said, trying to reassure her friend.
"No, Haley, I am just trying to be realistic. Ask my doctors, ask anyone, and they will tell you that I am dying." The tears began to fall again. She had become accustomed to the salty taste in her mouth. "Haley I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about the things I missed and the things I am going to miss. I am going to miss you and talking to you about everything under the sun. I am going to miss shopping with Brooke for clothes that neither of us need. I am going to miss always burning macaroni and cheese with Peyton, watching scary movies, and watching Jenny with her. I am going to miss arguing with Nathan over the best beers and whether or not you can get pulled over for having a missing tail light. I am going to miss Jake, the most logically and caring person I know only behind Lucas." She tried to wipe the tears away, "God. I am going to miss him so much. He is my life and I don't know what I did before him. I wish that I could give him everything I know he deserves." Now she was bawling and could hardly speak, "But I know I can't and I hate myself for letting him fall in love with me."
"You couldn't stop him from falling in love with you Madison." Now Haley was crying. "He was going to do whatever his heart told him to do and whether that was falling for you or falling for someone else didn't matter. But he did fall in love with you. Madison, Lucas is the happier now than I have ever seen him."
"I know, but what happens later on when he is alone and it is all my fault?"
Haley crawled up on the bed with Madison and cuddled up next to her. "I wish I knew what to tell you Maddie, but I don't." She gave her a friendly kiss on her cheat. She tasted the salt from the ongoing tears falling from Madison's face. "Here we go again with our talks."
Madison began to cry again, "God, I am going to miss everyone so much that I can't even stand it. I mean I am worried about my parents but they have basically lived without me for seventeen years now, but you all," Haley joined in on the tears once more, "I hate to leave you guys. You are all my soul mates and I feel so damn lucky to have had you in my life." She looked down at the ring that was placed on her hand. She looked at Haley and said, "Please just take care of him for me, you know what he deserves. I will be watching, but there is won't be anything I can do."
Haley nodded and said, "How can you do this?"
"Do what?"
"Live like this?"
"Haley I have been living in fear for half of my life." She wiped her nose on her hand and continued, "It is weird, but right now I am the least scared I have been in a long time. I don't know if it is the fact that I have come to terms with everything or if it is the fact that this is the first time that I have ever talked about it." She ran her fingers through her hair and said, "Whatever it is, I don't know. I still am scared about everything, but not as much."
She looked down at her ring once more and looked at Haley, "Will you get Lucas? I want to talk to him?"
Haley nodded at her and said, "Yeah. Be right back."
"Love you Hales."
Haley looked back at her and said, "Love you took Maddie."
When Lucas entered the room, Madison was already asleep. For the first time, Lucas didn't go over to her to tell her good night and kiss her on the cheek. He said, "I love you" to her from the door and closed it. He looked at Haley and said, "She is asleep, I didn't want to wake her."
Haley nodded and took Nathan by the hand. Everyone left, and for the first night, Lucas didn't sleep there. He left and went back to his house to sleep in his own bed for the first night in months.