Author Note: This takes place ten years after Madison's death. Lucas is married and has two kids...

Epilogue: One Thing I Know
"Conrad, tell daddy about your school day." I said as I scrubbed the bottom of the skillet that I had cooked our dinner in. Lucas looked at me from the living room and held up the remote at me. "I am sure he could turn his attention toward you and away from the basketball game for five minutes." I clinched my teeth together and said, "Right honey."

Lucas narrowed his eyes at me and I felt like yelling at him. His grouchiness I had become accustomed too, but when he looked at me like that there was no getting used to it. Some days were worse than others. Today was the worst I had ever seen him. It was the anniversary of her death.

Part of me felt like I could never make Lucas feel like he felt when he was with her. That was the part of me that cried myself to sleep. Conrad and Ally would see me crying and wonder what was wrong. They were still too young to understand the truth, so I would tell them I was cutting onions and they would run off and play again as if nothing had ever happened in the first place.

The other part of me had come to the realization that I was not Lucas' true love. Although the thought of that depressed me more than anything in the world, I knew that it was more than likely true.

Sometimes I wished I could have met her, just to see what she was like. Obviously she and Lucas were perfect together. His first wife. His one true love. I occasionally heard Lucas talking about her over the phone to different friends. Mainly Haley. I was sometimes jealous of her, but in a totally different way.

The phone rang and I watched Lucas to see if he would even budge. He didn't. Pulling off my glove and setting it next to the sink, I picked up the phone. "Hello?"

The other line was muffled and I strained to comprehend what was being said over the other end of the phone. "Aerin...and Lucas... gravesite...9:15...please..."

I couldn't tell who was speaking nor could I decipher what was being said. "Who is this?" I asked, confused with the whole situation.

Lucas looked away from the wide screen television and over at me. I shrugged my shoulders and him and shook my head. He looked back to the screen as if nothing had happened. He did that sometimes.

After the honeymoon, two kids, and seven years later the perfectness of our relationship had worn off. I wasn't his princess anymore. I was like a job, just another thing he had to do on his daily check list. I asked myself where I went wrong. When did I say something I shouldn't have or do something that he didn't like? Then I realized it what when he understood that I wasn't her.

I closed my eyes and remembered they way things were before I knew about her, before I knew I was second best. Before I realized that I was running a race that I was never capable of winning.

My thoughts were interrupted by not only my daughter, Ally, tugging at the knee of my velour track pants, but also by the voice on the phone. "Aerin...it's me..." Oh like that is going to help, I thought to myself. "It's Peyton."

I unknowingly nodded my head and Lucas stared at me. "Oh, Peyton. I'm so sorry, it's been one of those nights." She laughed as if I was joking. I wasn't. She had no idea about my nights.

Nights full of arguments and threats of leaving filled my evenings. Lucas and I would go outside to argue to make sure Ally and Conrad didn't hear us. To them, and to everyone around us, we were the perfect family. I was the stay at home mom who always had the cookies ready for the kids when they got home and Lucas was the father who would do anything for anyone, other than his own wife of course.

I wanted to move. He wanted to stay. I wanted another child. He wished we hadn't had any.

Now I am not asking for a pity party here, I just want people to realize that its hard being Aerin Scott. Sure, Lucas is a successful business man and we are in no way poor but opposed to popular belief there is more to life than money.

If I could buy happiness, trust me, I would.

I looked down at Ally, and picked her up. She was her father made over. She ran her tiny hands over my face and I smiled at her, feeling as if it was Lucas who was touching me.

We didn't even sleep in the same room. Most nights I slept with Ally in her new "big girl bed", partly because she was scared but mostly because I couldn't stand to hear Lucas bitch at me all night about, "you don't even understand how lucky you are to just stay at the house all day... you don't even know how lucky you are to be alive right now..."

When he would start his "appreciate life" speech I would have to say "Spare me" and leave. In seven years of marriage I had the speech memorized and I definitely didn't need to hear it again. When it was over we would always end up fighting, again, mainly about Madison.

"So, Aerin if you and Lucas could just come...it would be nice..." I heard Peyton say. Her voice sounded fragile, but I didn't ask what was wrong. She didn't ask about my personal problems so why should I?

I agreed and hung up the phone. Walking into the living room, Lucas spoke. "Who was on the phone?"

"Peyton." I said, as I sat down on the couch.

"What did she want?" Lucas asked me without even looking away from the basketball game.

"She wants us..."

My statement was interrupted by Lucas, "Oh my god!" He jumped out of his recliner and threw his arms into the air. Conrad did the same, mimicking his father. I smiled and winked at Conrad, who giggled and sat back down. "Did you see that?"

Excited, Conrad said, "I saw it dad, I saw it. That was awesome. I bet I can do that."

Conrad adored his father just as much or more than any little boy I had ever seen. He loved everything about him like his basketball abilities and especially the fact that he could have played for the NBA.

Lucas looked over at Conrad with loving eyes. Ally crawled off my lap and onto Lucas'. She nuzzled her head into his neck. Tears slowly swelled up into my eyes wishing that Lucas would look at me, again, the way he looked at his children.

He turned to me as a tear drop fell to the couch. I stood up and walked into the kitchen. "Where're you going?" He asked me.

I heard the recliner close and footsteps behind me. "I have dishes to do."

Lucas was in the kitchen now. He stood directly behind me. "Do you have to do them now?"

I put my hands into the full, soapy sink water and started scrubbing. The tears were falling into the water. My voice crackled, "They have to get done."

He put his hands on my hips and I sighed. "Conrad can do them."

I shook my head, "No I don't want to make him do that."

"Come on, Aerin, just let him I am sure he won't mind."

I surrendered and let him call Conrad, "Conrad, come in here and finish these dishes for mommy."

Our six year old son waltzed into the kitchen thrilled to help out his father. "What do I do?" He asked, excited.

A three year old Ally wobbled into the kitchen and I picked her up. "Look Al, bubba's doin' the dishes." Conrad said to his younger sister.

She smiled at him and said, "I love bubbles."

I dipped my finger into the water and put the bubbles on my finger. Ally reached for them and I put them on her nose. She laughed and I looked over at Lucas who was standing behind Conrad who stood on a stool.

I looked over at the clock, 9:00. "Lucas, we are supposed to go to the gravesite in fifteen minutes."

He looked over at me and shook his head, "No."

Confused, I asked, "Don't you want to?"

He ran his hands over Conrad and then Ally's heads and said, "No. Lets say here."

The dishes were done and we all stood in the kitchen. "Who wants to watch a movie?" Lucas asked.

"Ohhh!! Me me!" Ally cried as she ran into the living room.

"Ally, let me help you pick..." Conrad said as he opened the movie cabinet.

Lucas kissed me on the forehead and I smiled. It was the first real smile I had had in a long time and Lucas knew it. "Looks good on ya." He said, placing his lips atop mine.

"How about that movie?" I said to him, taking his hand in mine.

He led me into the living room where we watched the classic Finding Nemo for the twenty third time that week. But I didn't mind, I was just glad to be with them.

Author Note: What did you think? Please please tell me, I love reviews! :)