Bara's Boots

By the Rurouni Idoru

A/N: This chapter is, "These Boots Were Made For Walking," by Nancy Sinatra. I know it doesn't really fit, but go with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or "These Boots...". Or Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots. Although I wish I did. Don't sue me, I'm poor. Just enjoy the stupid songfic.

Ah, my dear old boots. I sat on the floor, rifling through my closet.There, among the old shoes that had no match, back issues of magazines I no longer subscribed to, books I no longer had use for, and pants that didn't fit, I found something of black leather. I tugged it out in curiosity. Oh, the closet gremlins had a tight grip on it, but I was stronger in the end. Granted, the unbalanced forces that resulted when I won out sent me tumbling backwards, but I still won. And what were my spoils? I observed the contents of my hand. (Oxygen! Sorry, I gotta focus on the story of my boots. Inside-jokes are for later.) My old boot! High-heeled, black, and (I'm sure) magical. I hadn't seen these since...wow, since my first day at Sarayashiki. Back when I still wore the uniform I had at my old school. The boys' uniform. These boots always gave me confidence, and two-and-a-half inches of extra height. I then realized I was only holding one of them.

"DIVE!" I cried, and threw myself torso-deep into the abyss known as the closet. (It's not nearly as deep at the abyss under the bed, though.) I quickly found myself in another battle with the closet gremlins, but desire for my boots gave me the power to wrench the treasure out of their grip. This time, the boot was pulled out so rapidly and with such forse that after it came out of the closet, it left my hands and flew across the room, landing on my bed. I blinked a few times, got up, and retrieved it. I held the two boots side-by-side and stared in admiration. In a moment of spontaniety, I slipped them on. Now, for most people, a two-inch high-heeled boot with a half-inch platform is not the ideal for comfort. But me, I was used to them. And it felt oddly satisfying to slip out of my strangely low Mary Janes for once and into tallifying, powerful boots. This could only mean one thing

Time for some fun.

You keep saying you got something for me
Something you call love, but confess
You've been messin' where you shouldn't've been messin'
And now someone else is getting all your best.

"Don't be stupid, Urameshi!" I stood up, glaring. "I won that round, fair and square! Just like I won our first fight!"

"You didn't win crap! You only got to claim victory because you walked away before I knew what was going on! You...you...YOU CHEATED! Just like you cheated on this round!"

"Your Mom!"

"Your Mom!" Honestly, was it abnormal that we were arguing over who had won at Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots? At the age of almost-fifteen? Probably. Did I care? No. Because I knew I had won. No matter how much he said I got a head start. Now, Insanity's Rose knows how to end an argument. With logic, valid points, and careful reasoning? Nah, with a nice sharp kick to the kneecap!

"OW! Sonofa--What're those shoes made of, steel?!" I tossed my hair while Yusuke hopped around, clutching his left leg in pain.

"I have kicked your rear in these shoes before, and obviously, I can do it again!"

"You suck, Bara!" Now, I know what you're thinking. Violence is not the answer. And usually, I can respect that. I'm very good at verbal abuse, as well as being so way more right than people, even if I'm actually wrong! But you know, those boots, sometimes they deserve to see some fun as well. So yeah, their secondary purpose was kickin' tail.

Well, these boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

But the primary purpose needs some recognition too. I deliberately stepped on a certain sore loser's toes, causing him to fall over, yelping. Then, I began to strut.

You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin'
You keep losing when you oughta not bet
You keep same-in' when you oughta be changin'
Now, what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet!

And so, away I went, gleefully and arrogantly. When I opened the door to my house, my mother immediately started to tell me something. Of course, the power of the boots were clouding my judgement.

"Ssh, 'Kaasan, gimme two minutes! I'm strutting!" My mother rolled her eyes.

"You gotta make your own dinner. I have to pick up Masahiko-chan from baseball practice."

"Yeah, whatever." Strut, strut, strut.

"You found those boots again, didn't you?"

"Eff yes." She sighed, and walked through the door.

"Don't...burn down the house or anything." I just nodded to the beat I had going in my head. The door shut behind me,and I began to dance like the total loser I am. "I am the Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots Champion. No matter what Yusuke says."

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

There I was, stomping around my living room, when hunger hit. I know, the whole thing goes against Japanese custom, but I had forgotten deodorant that day too, so I was breakin' all sortsa rules. So, I strutted into the kitchen, possibly the farthest I'd ever ventured into my house wearing shoes. I turned on the radio, and began to boil water. Ramen time.

While the pot boiled, of course, I was busy dancing like a fool. I think I may have broken something during the dance, but if I did, neither me or 'kaasan ever noticed, so it couldn't've been important.

You keep playing where you shouldn't be playing
And you keep thinking that you'll never get burned, ha!
Well, I've just found me a brand new box of matches, yeah
And what he knows you ain't had time to learn.
These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

I sat down, happily slurping ramen. Then, of course, I spilled it on myself. Those boots, man.... They enhanced my confidence, yeah, but they did Jack Squat for my luck, I'll tell ya. I jumped up, cursing loudly. I reached into the freezer and pulled out all of those ice packs (for lunch boxes and coolers) and attacked myself with 'em. It didn't do too much good, though. Most of them weren't even completely frozen. Of course, I can't ever learn my lesson. A quick change of clothes and an at-home mother later, I was stomping out the door in those high-heeled boots, off to cause more trouble.

Are you ready, boots?
Start walkin'!

Their primary objective was okay. But the secondary objective was about thirty times more fun.