Total Eclipse- Minako's Story
Part 14
"I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your love be everything that you need. I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do. I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning. A reason for living. A deeper meaning. …I wanna stand with you on a mountain, I wanna bathe with you in the sea. I wanna lay like this forever, Until the sky falls down on me... "
-Truly Madly Deeply by: Savage Garden
Three years of seasons shifted and swayed and I had become an adult. The moon was prosperous. It seemed we were on the dawn of a golden age, complete with all we needed to become a supreme power in the universe. Maybe we'd gotten too full of ourselves. Maybe the other planets were scared. I think Beryl was just sick of waiting. We were indeed on a dawn. We were on the dawn of a great awakening as well as a great downfall. Though our world was filled with light and peace there is always chaos in the shadows. And it was time for the shadow to over power the light.
Naturally, we didn't notice anything was wrong. On the moon it was business as usual. The girls and I trained for a bit every day, we studied for a bit, and the rest of the day was playtime. It is quite possible that we never really grew up. I was twenty now. I felt so old yet knew I was still young. Very young in the eyes of time. My life was finally stabilizing. I felt secure with my friends, who by this point had become more than family. This even included the boys. One by one we each succumbed to fate. We all had our little pairings and we were blissfully happy. Too happy, now that I think about it. Oddly enough though, I was the last girl to get engaged.
It happened on a quiet night during the celebration of Earth's vernal equinox. I was standing on the outside of the forest just outside the palace walls that Kunzite and I had climbed over years ago. It was silent. The moon was casting its usual eerie glow over the land and sky, causing the night to be luminous even in dark. The slight dress I had on hugged my body. I had a light cloak on over it. I didn't feel the need to dress up for a change. I merely let my hair hang loose and it drifted over my shoulders as a breeze picked up in the night. I closed my eyes and listened. I listened to the leaves rustling high atop the trees. I listened to the sounds of the children playing in the background, the laughter and quiet voices of my friends as they settled in for a night long celebration. I reached up and set my hand over my locket, feeling the familiar texture of the etched metal. I traced the patterns idly with my hand. I'd long since memorized them.
Kunzite had asked me to wait out here for him. He had some new place to show. I thought I'd seen just about everything there was to see around the palace by this point. I breathed in deeply. The smell of the earth was very familiar now. It had a scent stronger than anything I'd known on the moon. Nature there was purer. And it all felt so wonderful. It put me in a good mood that I knew wouldn't be broken easily. I looked to the left. Mamoru and Usagi were strolling together along the path that led back to the palace. We had long since stopped calling them by their formal names, unless required of us. It just didn't feel right anymore. I smiled as I watched them. They looked so completely in love. It was sweet and beautiful. I didn't think they could be pulled apart by anything. I wanted that. I wanted to know how she felt, and it seemed just out of my reach.
A hand slipped over my shoulder and I turned around. Kunzite smiled at me. I grinned back and gave him a soft kiss. After the kiss I stepped back with a playful look on my face. "Where have you been? I was beginning to worry," I said.
"It took me a little longer to get organized than I thought it would," he said while shrugging casually. He took my hand and guided me off into the forest. I noticed he had a small pack strapped to his back. I think he noticed my gazing at it. "There's been some weird happenings lately, you can never be too careful," he said, but didn't turn to look at me as he did so. We did not go far. Suddenly Kunzite stopped and picked me up. I was about to protest as usual when he set me down again over a patch of berries into a clearing of sorts. "Tearing that dress would be the end of it," he explained with a playful tone in his voice. I nodded. He didn't move his hands from my waist, but leaned down and kissed me again. "We'd best hurry or we'll be missed," he said, then continued.
After a little more time of walking and spontaneously kissing, we made it to Kunzite's current niche in the world. It was a cliff on the edge of the forest that overlooked a village. The land was quiet and peaceful. I wondered what Kunzite's infatuation was with this place, it didn't seem spectacular in any way. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and whispered to me, look up. We both did so, and he stretched one hand out and pointed. I followed the direction and saw odd streaks of color in the sky.
"They call that the aurora borealis," he said quietly. "If you watch it long enough the colors will shift and change. You can only see it in the north, and there was too much light around the palace for me to show this to you."
"It's beautiful," I breathed. We stood watching it for a while. I was delighted by the way the bands of light shifted and swayed, curving here and there causing the light to swirl and mingle, creating new shades of itself. Then Kunzite moved away from me and pulled out a blanket from the pack. He laid it on the ground and the pulled me over to it and we both sat down. I slid my shoes and cloak off and sat holding my knees towards my chest. I continued to watch the color, then let my mind drift and turned to watch the stars. Kunzite sat next to me bustling around in pack apparently looking for something special. He'd tossed out bits of food and even a small flask of wine. I watched him curiously. He had something planed.
The thought that he was about to propose to me never crossed my mind. I merely assumed he had some sort of special surprise like he usually did. But nothing as extreme as what happened. At first he couldn't find it. I heard him swear under his breath and look for something with more intensity. The more he rifled the more I began to be curious, so I watched him instead. He finally got a hold of what he was looking for and was about to pull it out of the bag when he looked up. He turned a deep shade of red and said, "Don't look!" I gave him a strange look and turned back to the lights in the sky. Finally he sighed, then took in a big breath and took my hand.
"Something wrong?" I asked. After all, he was acting strange. He shook his head. I looked him deeply in the eyes and saw reflections of adoration, love and need there. "You sure?"
"Yes, positive." He kissed my hand gently. I continued to watch him. A strange feeling was overtaking me. I was nervous about something. But I had no reason to feel apprehensive here, not when I was with Kunzite on a peaceful night in the middle of summer. "Um, Mia, can I ask you something?" I nodded. Maybe I was getting the nervous vibes from him. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" I looked at him confused.
"Of course…haven't we already established that?" I asked. He sighed again and dropped my hand to push back his hair.
"Oh how can I word this?" he mumbled to himself.
"Kunzite, darling, are you all right, really?"
"Yes I'm fine!" He closed his eyes and grabbed my hand tightly. "Mia, I want you to marry me," he said at last. I blinked. He opened one eye and looked at me like a child waiting for punishment.
"Oh is that all?" I asked. The next look he gave me is hard to describe. It was a mix between astonishment and resentment. I smiled and leaned forward and gave him a deep kiss. He broke it off first.
"Well?" he asked and fidgeted.
"Most definitely, Kunzite," I said quietly. Kunzite broke into a beautiful, relieved smile. I was actually taken aback by his smile, it was so strong. He turned for a second and picked up a small box. He opened the box and inside lay a golden ring which had opals embedded in the band. It was very simple and plain, but it was gorgeous in its simplicity. He slid the ring on my finger and to his credit it was a perfect fit. My breath caught and I stared. For some reason I had never actually imagined being engaged the way it happened. I had always imagined some sort of dramatic event where the world would stop and wait just for us. Instead all I could do was stare at the gold band hugging my finger. And cry.
"This is so beautiful, Kunzite," I managed before emotion took hold of me. I caught him around my shoulders and held him tightly. He pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. He rubbed my back gently, and I began to calm down. I wasn't crying out of pain for quite possibly the first time in my life but for pure joy. I was finally safe. From this moment on I wouldn't have to fret over anyone else snatching him away from me. And the security was a blessed release. I curled up next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. He held me close, making me feel so special. "Sorry about that," I mumbled into his neck.
"I understand completely, Mia," he whispered. "There's one condition, though. No one can know about this until after we're actually married." I craned my neck up to look him in the eyes.
"But why not?" I asked, worry spread across my face like a drape falling over a window.
"The first reason is because of Adonis. The second is because I don't want our parents finding out. It could ruin everything if any of them find out about this before it is finalized. Please don't look so distraught," he pleaded with me. I was growing very concerned for him. He didn't look as happy about this as I would have hoped he would. He took my hand and idly twisted the ring around my finger. He was staring down at my hand.
"I promise no one will know until it's done," I said.
"I've arranged for a small ceremony to take place in a month. But we have to do that even in secret," he said, "and the person who will perform it is someone I trust completely." I laughed softly.
"Well, I may be the last to be engaged, but I'm the first to marry." I looked up at him again and took his face gently in my hands, and kissed him again. I had a feeling we'd be sharing a lot more kisses from that time on. "You mustn't worry, love, it'll all work out fine." I had complete faith in him and myself. He nodded.
My next move was initially very strange to him. I reached around my neck and took off my necklace. Then I took the ring off my finger and put it on the necklace. After I had made sure it was secure I put the necklace back on. Kunzite shot me a questioning look. "No one will see it if the necklace is under my collars," I explained. "This way I can still wear the ring, but it won't be noticed. The girls are all used to seeing me with the necklace on."
Kunzite nodded. He relaxed then. He stretched out on the blanket, lying on his back, and stared at the stars. I eventually lay down next to him. Being so close to him, to feel his warmth and smell his essence, and watch his breathing made me realize just how long I wanted to be with him all the time. I wanted to be able to have this closeness, the pure bliss I felt being next to him. I wanted to be able to touch him whenever I wanted to. As we lay together watching the stars my mind was racing trying to figure out all the new feelings I had. Some of the thoughts I had came close to frightening me. Kunzite shifted and pulled me next to him, his arm lay across my stomach. I jumped.
"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded, my cheek brushing his shoulder as I did so. We remained lying in silence and I realized that through all the years we had been together we'd hardly been intimate in even the slightest way. And we'd been far from even coming close to the nights of passion I often heard the other girls speak of. I then questioned if it was normal, and I was filled with doubt despite myself. I wanted to go back to my friends and listen to their idle chatter and feel the way they were overflowing with joy, hoping that I could absorb some of the emotion. We both should have been ecstatic by the decision. But neither of us was. The peaceful silence surrounding us began to dissolve.
"Shouldn't we head back soon?" I asked quietly. "Surely they are wondering where we are by now," I continued. Kunzite sighed. He rolled over and looked at me. I gazed at him with the same mixture of fear and devotion that I saw in his eyes. The way he stared at me was intense and ever so slowly I started to wonder what he was thinking.
"I suppose," he said at last. Yet, the way he said it and his demeanor showed that he was greatly disappointed by our sudden departure. He stood up as if it took a great effort just to do so. I started to gather the items he left out of the bag and put them carefully back in. Kunzite walked to the edge of the cliff and suddenly turned back. "Are you upset with me, Minako?" I placed the flask of wine in his pack.
"Not at all," I responded.
"Then why are you acting so strange?" he asked. I paused while picking up my cloak. I looked to Kunzite with a fleeting glance and then looked at the ground again.
"I was thinking," I started, "that our situation seems warped. You're holding back. What I'm not sure of, but something just doesn't feel completely right about this." I wanted to shut my own words out. I didn't want to upset him after such a momentous occasion. "I mean, neither of us are…well…it doesn't seem like I thought it'd be." I faltered at last. Kunzite nodded.
"You're holding back too. What is it you're so frightened of?" he asked.
"Is this normal, Kunzite?" I returned.
"Normal for what? For you, for us? What?"
"I don't know," I closed my eyes, and swallowed. Kunzite knelt down and pulled me up. Then he hugged me around the shoulders.
"Don't repress being happy about this just because I'm paranoid," he said quietly. I hesitantly put my arms around him, as well. "I'm not sure what you're worried about, but everything is going to be fine, believe me," his breath against my ear was warm, and it made me shiver. He pulled back and searched my eyes. Then after a little while longer, we quietly packed up the rest of the stuff and headed back to the party hand in hand. It would be a long month.
~*~*~*~*~Notes From Zellie*~*~*~More soon, I promise!