from the diaries of Pansy Parkinson

During our final year at Hogwarts a very unusual alliance was formed. It was unusual because this alliance was between Slytherins and Gryffindors. Three Slytherins and two Gryffindors if you really had to know.

There was me, Draco and Blaise from Slytherin House and Hermione Granger and Harry Potter from Gryffindor House. During our Seventh Year Draco declared an end to the hostilities and Harry naturally followed suit. That isn't to say that everything was nice between us. There were those from both Houses who kept up the bitter fights but the five of us were much more realistic about it all.

Draco and Harry had been meeting in an old abandoned classroom to discuss "The Voldemort Problem" as the Ministry dubbed it. And slowly the rest of us were dragged into it. We didn't meet often but often enough that we were willing to stand up for one another in the halls or in classes.

reality

"Hey Mudblood," Millicent Bolstrude called out loudly to Hermione who was walking through the dungeons. "Are you looking for trouble? Or do you just want a good beating?"

"Ah," Hermione said coolly. "So those are your perversions Bolstrude. Never would have guessed in a million years."

Millicent pulled out her wand, prepared to curse or threaten Hermione.

Pansy Parkinson stepped smoothly out of an empty classroom she had been waiting in for Hermione. She smiled at the girl before carefully making her way up the wall towards Millicent.

"Now, now Milli," Pansy spoke softly. "You wouldn't want to go and do anything stupid, would you?"

"Stay out of this Parkinson," Millicent glared at the blond Slytherin girl. "This has nothing to do with you. I caught the Mudblood here trespassing."

"But she wasn't," Pansy thoughtfully tapped her wand against her chin. "I invited her down here Bolstrude. You're being rude to my guest. I can't allow that to go unpunished if you take this to the next level. You know that as well as anyone around here. Now apologize for your base language dear."

Millicent glared and it was clear to Pansy that she was thinking hard about whether or not she would be able to get a curse off with Pansy standing there at the ready. Pansy smiled annoyingly. It was so much fun to play the stupider Slytherins off of her little lies. And it was even more amusing to watch them try to outsmart her. She was the smartest Slytherin female, Millicent didn't have a prayer of measuring up no matter how hard she tried. Pansy gave the larger girl a glare from her winter blue eyes and Millicent slowly lowered her wand seeing defeat there. Everyone in Slytherin knew better than to piss off Pansy. She always remembered and she always took revenge for more than the offense was worth.

"I'm sorry for my rude language," Millicent bit out, her face twisting into one of extreme distaste.

"That's good," Pansy said. "Now move along."

diary excerpts from Pansy Parkinson

During the first year of training Draco and I, we had grown up together, and Harry formed a close bond. We were never lovers but we had that closeness and that degree of comfort around each other.

We have what many people call 'war bonds'. It means that we trust each other implicitly and we will remain that close no matter how much time or distance comes between us. It's nice to know that we'll always have each other. Nicer still that we've actually bonded magically.

I can 'speak' to Harry without words and with Draco I can do the same. But together we can pick up on feelings of each other and where we are in proximity to one another. It's nice being this close.

a little over two years later, diary of Pansy Parkinson

I'm so excited! I'm going to have a baby. I can't fight in the final battle or in any of the other battles but I'll still help them plan and train.

Blaise said that we will live close to Hermione and Draco when the war is over. He says that Harry can move in with us because we'll live in a mansion. I want to have five children. I wonder what Blaise would say about that? I can't wait until my baby is born!

But I'm not stupid. I know that this war isn't over. These hormones must be getting to me more than I thought. But it doesn't matter if I write that down in here. No one will ever read it unless I die. And if I do die only Draco and Harry will be able to get into it. Boys, if I am dead please look after my baby. If it's a boy name him Gerick Kristoff Zabini but if she is a girl name her Teresa Carmelina Zabini.

one month later, diary of Pansy Parkinson

We're leaving for Blaise's parents house for Winter Holiday's. We'll be gone for a week there but things have been quiet and everyone has assured us that they'll be able to manage without us. I bought Harry and Draco matching medallions, I hope they like them. And I got Hermione several rare Charms texts.

I hope that Blaise's parents will be excited about the baby when we tell them Christmas morning. Blaise is thrilled to be going home with this news. I'm glad to see him so happy.

what happened at Blaise's parents House

"Mother," Blaise said with deceptive calmness. "Where is my wife?"

"Why she's downstairs," Mrs. Zabini smiled at her son. "Where she's supposed to be."

"What have you done to her?" Blaise glared at his mother.

"I haven't done anything to her," Mrs. Zabini glared.

"Petrifi-" Blaise began.

"Schlaf Mobilis," Blaise heard his father say before he could get the curse out.

He instantly fell asleep.

down in the basement

Pansy watched helplessly bound to the chair both magically and physically. There was nothing she could do to help Blaise who was brought in magically by his father. She glared at him with her winter blue eyes but he would not meet her gaze. Mr. Zabini bound his son in the same way he had bound her. Pansy waited until they were left alone.

Say did
You know where I lie
Gently I go into that good night

"Blaise," She called out keeping her voice both level and calm. "Blaise, are you awake?"

"Pansy," Blaise lifted his head, squinting at the bright lights. "Are you ok? Is everything ok?"

"I'm fine Blaise," Pansy said.

"I'm so sorry Pansy," Blaise whispered. "I didn't know, didn't think--"

"None of us did Blaise," Pansy spoke softly. "It's all right. I love you Blaise."

"I love you Pansy," Blaise's voice was rough with emotion. "So much."

Pansy used her bond and woke Harry up. She roused him more to wakefulness. She would need him as a witness.

Lucius strode through the door and she knew that Harry was wide awake now. She made sure that he 'saw' what she did. And she made sure that he knew Blaise's parents were traitors.

An icy fear gripped her stomach but she remained calm and indifferent on the outside. Pansy could act as well as the rest of them and she planned to use those skills here and now. She had nothing left with which to defend herself and she refused to give Lucius the satisfaction. Pansy looked down at him which was quite impressive since she was bound in a chair and he towered above her but she was able to manage it well. She could tell that Lucius didn't like it one bit.

"You know Pansy dear," Lucius drawled stroking the side of her face. "You shouldn't have betrayed our Lord. Did you really think that you would escape punishment? Did you really think that a mere boy could defeat our Lord?"

"He hasn't won yet has he Lucius?" Pansy shot back coolly.

Lucius raised his cane and struck her in the chin with it. Her head snapped back painfully but she was able to keep her cry of pain from escaping. She would not give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he had hurt her. She glared up at him through her winter blue eyes, cold and harsh like the unforgiving ice tundra's.

"You should watch what you say Pansy," Lucius said.

Pansy made sure that everything was reaching Harry. She felt a warm flood of strength from Draco and reassurance from Harry. They let her know that they were with her and it helped somewhat.
Lucius walked over to where Blaise was.

"What were thinking of Blaise?" Lucius asked him. "Did you honestly think that you would win?"

Blaise said nothing.

Lucius looked over at Pansy and she knew right then than he thought she was the weak link. It was instinctual. And she knew that he would kill Blaise before her to see if it would get her to talk. He hoped to get information from her. She would show him that she was not the weak link, she would tell him nothing. Pansy knew that she and Blaise would die here today, even if they told Lucius everything they knew. She wasn't stupid. She would not betray her war-bonded.

She wanted to speak up and say something but she would not, could not do that to them. She needed them to kill Lucius for her. She would not weaken their position. Lucius would pay for this. Pansy would stay alive to pass along the information they needed. She thought about Blaise and their home together but she couldn't picture it any longer. The future was blank for her, an empty and gray and void place. It should have troubled her but it didn't.

All our loves get complicated
Search for pleasure's overrated
Ever on our souls
For what the future would hold
We were innocent
Innocent

Wordlessly she watched as Lucius pulled out a sharp knife, the sharpest she had ever seen. And silently she cried to herself as he slit Blaise's throat from ear to ear. The blood seeped out of the cut, his life ebbing quickly away. She watched his eyes begin to dull and then finally glaze over. He was gone. Blaise was just an empty husk. Harry and Draco sent her a wave of strength.

"Still won't talk Pansy?" Lucius asked as though he were telling her that yes, the sky was in fact blue.

"You think it will be that simple Lucius?" She asked sweetly, keeping her air of indifference in tact. "You think I'm that weak? You never really knew me that well, none of you did."

"We'll see what can make you talk," He smiled. "And you will eventually talk."

Pansy kept her tears away. She could not keep away the fear she felt. It almost caused her to start shaking. For once she was glad to have been a Slytherin, raised a Parkinson. Being a Parkinson was almost like being a Malfoy, weakness and emotion just were not shown. The shaking she kept away, just barely but she did.

She watched as Lucius swiped the knife clean on Blaise's leg. She watched as he looked down at her slightly distended belly. And she felt more than fear but she could not speak or blink. Harry and Draco sent her a wave of strength and love. They were still with her. She had almost forgotten.

Lucius magically transferred her until she was lying, bound to a table. She didn't bother to struggle. She didn't have her wand any longer and Lucius was a much stronger wizard than she. There was no point.

Angels! Lend me your might

Pansy watched in fascination as Lucius hovered above her with the knife in hand. He carefully cut the front of her robes open. She distinctly heard him mutter something under his breath but she couldn't make out the words. She informed Harry, the slightly more coherent of the two, that Lucius was performing some kind of spell.

And then the knife bit into her flesh. It felt like hot fire was burning her alive. She arched slightly, or tried to, to get away from the blade. Lucius laughed and instantly she stilled.

Together, Draco and Harry assured her they were there with her, she wasn't alone. She calmed.

Precisely Lucius cut into her womb. She knew, had known when he had looked at her belly, that he would kill her baby before he killed her. Pansy wanted to tell him to stop, wanted to betray the others if he would spare her baby. But she wouldn't allow herself to give into that weakness. Harry and Draco were her brothers, they were her war bonded. She owed them to remain silent, she owed it to Blaise to remain silent and to her unborn baby.

Sadly she remembered that she didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. She wanted a little girl, she wanted one to dress up and to love. To teach her to dance and be a proper hostess. A smart little girl with black hair and blue eyes like her own. She was going to have a little girl named Teresa Carmelina. A little bouncy baby girl named Teresa.

Forfit all my lies
But get just one right

She watched and saw, almost as though she was detached from everything around her, as Lucius lifted the most fragile thing she had ever seen in her life out of her womb. She felt strangely empty. Everything on it was perfectly formed, all the fingers were there but it wasn't moving anymore.

'Why isn't it moving anymore Harry?' She spoke to him. 'What happened to my baby Teresa?'

'Lucius killed her Pansy,' Harry's vioce was in her ears and she could tell he was crying.

'Why are you crying Harry?' She asked him. 'I'm going to have a baby and name him Gerick.'

'I love you Pansy,' He sent back to her. 'Draco loves you too.'

She looked around the room and noticed that the lights were dimmed. Lucius was dimmed to but she forced her eyes open. She borrowed the energy from Draco and Harry to stay awake. There was something she had to do, she just couldn't remember what it was. There was something that Pansy had to tell them that Lucius was up to.

"This isn't just for revenge Pansy-dear," She heard Lucius explaining to her. "I need your blood, your husbands blood, and the babies blood. You should be honored to be serving our Lord Pansy."

"I hate you," Pansy choked out. "Give me back my baby."

All those colors long since faded
And all our smiles get confiscated
Never were we told we'd be bought and sold
We were innocent
Yeah.....

"Certainly my dear," Lucius smirked at her.

He placed the dead and broken body back within her. Pansy noticed that it didn't feel the same. Her baby was dead. Lucius had murdered her baby. She wanted him dead, oh how she wanted him dead.

'One of you kill him for me,' Pansy said to Harry. 'I want the bastard to hurt!'

'He will Pansy,' Harry said, almost like a whisper in her ear. 'We'll avenge your baby. We'll avenge you and Blaise. We'll make them all pay.'

A wave of love came to her from Draco, so strong that she was gasping from it. She turned back to Lucius watching him intently, still hanging onto consciousness and life. Pansy knew that he was using a spell that the others needed to know about. She would not let them down, not her brothers and sister in arms. She would see that they had every bit of knowledge she could glean from Lucius before she died. They would need it if they were to kill him and Voldemort.

Anger burned through her veins. She wished she could see him dead but this was just as good.

"I didn't expect this of you Pansy," Lucius said conversationally. "I thought for sure you would plead with me to save your baby or yourself."

"I'm not weak like you," Pansy's winter eyes locked onto his face.

"Merely stupid," Lucius agreed.

"Yes, like you," Pansy confirmed.

Lucius laughed darkly. The sound of his laughter sent small shivers down her spine which she carefully hid.

She hurt so much. She was broken and torn apart, literally and figuratively. Pansy knew that she would die here. She would die where Blaise and her baby had died before her. And then they would all be together again. It was a small thought but it brought her some small measure of comfort.

'Please,' She prayed. 'Let me make it through this. Let me make it until they can know what he's doing here. And let them kill him and Voldemort. That's all I'm asking. Those lives in return for three.'

Lucius deserved to die for her baby. Voldemort deserved to die for sending Lucius out to kill her baby.

Yeah! This prayer
Is for me tonight
Let's find out that line
But still it ain't gotta lie

"I hope it hurts when you die," Pansy whispered past the blood seeping into her throat.

Lucius didn't answer. He cut deeply just under her breasts, up into them. It hurt and she couldn't hold back in the small cry of pain and surprise. But Lucius went about his work precisely and with a heavy look of concentration.

He took the blood upon his fingertips and for the first time Pansy noticed that he had been drawing something upon the wall. She let her head fall in that direction and made sure that Harry was still 'seeing' what she was looking at.

'I'm here Pansy,' He told her. 'All of us love you, Hermione loves you. I love you. Draco loves you. Blaise loved you.'

She kept herself conscious. She owed it to her remaining war-bonded, her family. Pansy had to give them everything they could get from her to win. She was willing to give it all to them.

She watched patiently as Lucius continued making the symbols and listened to his carefully chanted words. Pansy didn't understand any of it. But hopefully the information she had given to Draco and Harry would be enough that together with Hermione they would be able to figure it out without her help.

"You're going to lose," Pansy rasped, feeling the exquiste feeling of her life draining slowly from her. "Your Master will fall in the final battle, never to rise again. And you'll die Lucius. And it will hurt you as much as it hurt me."

"Believe that if it helps you pass on Pansy-child," Lucius said quietly.

'We love you Pansy,' She heard both Draco and Harry in her head.

Her winter blue eyes looked to the wall and she made sure to send the symbols to Harry. She turned one last time and trained her cold gaze on Lucius Malfoy. She sent his face to Harry as well.

No, and what confessions already instated
What accent is contemplated
Never did we know what the future would hold
Or that we'd be bought and sold

Pansy let out one last breath. There was no reason to try any longer. Blaise and the baby were dead. She had done everything she could for Harry, Draco and Hermione. It was her turn to rest with Blaise and the baby.

She took comfort knowing that Lucius Malfoy would die. And Pansy Parkinson died with all her dreams. She'd been sold and bought for her blood. But there was no more pain, no more laughter. For some reason Pansy felt sad when she finally expired and she couldn't understand why.

No.......
We were innocent
Innocent
We were innocent