Only One More Lonely Night
"Remus..." Her quiet voice echoed throughout the cold dark room. "Remus, are you in here?" Her violet eyes glanced around the room, having adjusted quickly. With no response she sighed and headed out.
If he wasn't in his room she had no idea where he'd be. She'd looked almost everywhere else in the house. Deciding she'd look a bit later she headed down the stairs to the kitchen. It too was cold and dark. No one else was staying in the house tonight—besides herself and Remus—so most of the house was unwelcoming, not that it was usually welcoming.
Opening up the icebox Nymphadora Tonks pulled out a few slices of meat and bread to make herself a small sandwich. She wondered where Remus was while absentmindedly changed her hair to a long light blue colour. There was something she needed to tell him. Something she'd hid from him and everyone else, including herself, up till now.
Suddenly she had no appetite for the meat sandwich she'd made for herself. If she didn't find Remus soon she'd most likely lose her nerve. So standing up, the chair scratching against the wood floor, she turned to head back out to search the house.
Her hair flipped around her face and she almost tripped over the table corner. Trying to rearrange herself, she stood up balancing on the table and then wiped her sweaty hands on her robes. "Right...time to find Remus" She mumbled to herself tossing a piece of hair behind her shoulder.
"Need me for something?" Remus Lupin was suddenly in the door his greying hair gleaming in the candlelight.
"Ah...yes...um...well you see...I need to talk to you." She fumbled with her words, then gaining a sort of resolve, stood up straighter and looked into Remus tired hazel eyes.
"Are you alright Nymphadora?"
Tonks huffed, "Remus! I told you call me Tonks!"
Remus smiled a little. "Right, Tonks...are you alright?"
"Fine!" She had her arms crossed due to she was a little worked up about the name thing, but then realized that that was part of the reason she needed to talk to him. She'd fallen madly in love with Remus J. Lupin, for so many reasons. His kindness, his selflessness, his absolute refusal to call her Tonks. There were so many things she'd fallen in love with. And it was time to tell him. Calming herself down she uncrossed her arms and walked closer to him. "Remus...I need to tell you something..." She started.
Remus confused, leaned up against the doorframe, looking totally sexy to Tonks. "Yes..." He said slowly.
"Well you see, ever since we've had to work together...I—" She stopped and bit her lip. Remus, having gone temporarily stupid, still did not understand.
"Go on..." He said when she still hadn't continued.
"Bloody hell, for the lack of words, I'm in love with you Moony." There she had said it, made herself vulnerable to him, she'd thrown her heart at his feet and now he could chose to pick it up and treasure it or stomp it flat.
Remus was a bit thrown by this information, not totally surprising, but still enough of a shock to make his jaw drop. He'd thought maybe Tonks had a crush on him. He'd sometimes catch her looking at him in that way, or she'd go out of her way to make sure they had to go on missions together. But love? He'd hardly believed her feelings had dwelled that deep. And oddly enough he reciprocated them.
He loved her as well, truly thoroughly loved her. But he was twelve years older then her! And they were in the middle of a war. But most importantly he was a werewolf. He was not about to have her ruin her life by being with him. She deserved more then that. That's why he'd never before reciprocated the looks and the stares, that's why he'd have to turn her down now.
He didn't want to harm her, to hurt her in the way he was about to. But it was better that way; she'd soon get over him...and find someone better, someone who wasn't a monster to be happy with.
Tonks was staring at him pointedly. He hadn't said anything for a bit, and he had a faraway look on his face. "Rem—"
He cut her off. "I'm sorry..."
"What?" Tears began to build in the corner of her eyes. She knew what he was about to say.
"I'm sorry Tonks, but...I-I just don't feel the same way. Your more like a sister to me, or a best friend. You are my best friend." He looked at her with a pitiful face, it was tearing him up—watching her heart break, it was tearing him up hearing his own break.
(He didn't even call her Nymphadora...) "Right, pals. I'm sorry Remus. I didn't mean to spring this upon you. I'll just be going now." She quickly rushed from the kitchen hiding her tears. What she didn't see, in her rush to leave him behind, was his own wet, tearing eyes. She didn't hear the barely whispered 'I love you too Nymphie'.
3 weeks later
Looking herself over in the mirror she decided she looked pretty hott, to say so herself. She had opted for wavy honey coloured hair and brilliant blue eyes. She'd worn more of her muggle clothing, which consisted of low riding khakis and a dark blue halter that accented her eyes.
She was still mourning over the fact Remus had turned her down flat; but she was a sexy little thing and she wasn't going to idle on it to much. At least as long as she could preoccupy her mind with something else. Like the date she had tonight.
For some reason or another, Bill had found out about the rejection (it seemed the house had ears of its own that could tell secrets) and also knew that she and Charlie had been acquaintances during school. So for some reason, Bill thought that was enough to have the two to go out together. And after much begging Bill had managed to convince Tonks to go to dinner with his younger brother.
Not that Tonks wasn't fond of Charlie, it was just they'd hardly known each other. She felt a bit awkward meeting someone almost seven years after they'd last spoke. Still she was going to try and enjoy herself. Charlie had been a sweetheart in school, and it was better then sitting around the dank, depressing house sulking.
She flipped over her watch and saw that it was 7:30. She needed to apparte to Diagon Alley; they were planning on meeting at the Leaky Cauldron before going to a small restaurant and then Charlie wanted to stop by Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes to see how his brothers were doing. Tonks did not mind at all, she wanted to pick up a few more wild-fire whiz-bangs.
First she needed to find her trainers, she wasn't about to go around bear-foot in Diagon alley. After thoroughly searching her own room, she headed down the stairs remembering she had taken them off in the sitting room earlier that day.
Heading directly for that room she ran almost head first into Bill himself. "Wotcher Bill!" Tonks smiled.
"Hello Tonks...have a date with my brother I hear."
"Yes, no thanks to you." She said with a smile on her face as if joking, but inwardly she was wishing he'd just stayed out of her love life.
"Right. Well, you have fun, and try not to die of boredom over his dragon stories...I have some...business to take care of so could you tell him to knock before he comes in tonight?"
Tonks gave him a saucy look. "William Weasley! Are you rendezvousing with a certain French girl?" Bill's ears turned a bit red as well as his cheeks.
"Shhh, I don't want Mum to hear!" Tonks laughed aloud.
"Right, right. I'll tell him Bill...you go have your fun, I need to find my trainers."
Bill smiled and nodded walking off while Tonks walked to the sitting room. Pushing the door open she found Remus sitting quietly reading a book. Her face fell a little and she looked around the room quickly, hoping to find her shoes before he noticed her. But with no luck, almost the moment she stepped further into the room Remus noticed her presence and put his book down to look at her.
He found her to be absolutely alluring. Her honey coloured hair was lightly brushing her shoulders and he suddenly found him self fantasizing what it would be like to run his fingers through it, to feel it brush against his bare skin. With an internal scolding he waved the thought away and smiled slightly at her.
"Evening Tonks, you look lovely...going somewhere?" He hardly thought so, but his politeness took over and he asked anyway.
"Actually yes, I have a date tonight." She said trying to be as civil as possible.
Remus almost let his jaw drop. She had a date? Unable to help himself he began to burn with jealousy. "Really? With whom, may I ask?" Remus tried to keep his voice calm, and thought he did a fairly good job.
Tonks heard a slight crack however, and saw a hint of something in his eyes...she thought it was jealously but brushed the thought away; he'd turned her down. "Charlie, Charlie Weasley. We went to school together back at Hogwarts. Thought we'd catch up." She flipped a piece of her honey hair behind her, putting a hand on her hip.
"Ah...that's nice." And Remus picked his book back up and began to read, or pretended to, he was insanely jealous and wanted to watch her. Tonks continued to stare at him for a few moments before looking back around the room; finally she found her blue and white trainers and sat down to put them on.
They slid on to her feet easily, and with a gentle stomp to make sure all was comfortable she then headed out of the room. Only just hearing Remus say 'Have a good time' without looking up from his book.
Huffing she stormed out the door. How dare he ask her what she was up too, like he was her father or something! And then have the nerve to look jealous...if he'd looked jealous...it could have been her hopeful wishing again. Many a times she'd thought she'd caught him staring at her with longing or with jealousy when she was with someone else. But before she could verify it the look was gone from his face. She'd begun to realize she'd been imagining it all. Hopeful delusions of a lovesick girl.
Back in the sitting room, Remus had put his book back down and was looking at the doorway the saucy metamorphmagi had just left. He was thoroughly jealous of the redhead. For just tonight he was going to have the privilege to stare at the minx all he wanted, her beautiful hair (he was dying to run his fingers through), the twinkling blue eyes (that he thought he saw some of that love still shining at him), her wondrous body (his hands itched to glide over the smooth skin), Charlie got the pleasure to soak in her beauty. While he was stuck here fantasizing what would have happened if he hadn't turned her down.
Then he remembered why he had. Remus then burned with jealously. Not only could Charlie look upon her, he had the chance to be with her. Without fearing for her life. He didn't have the baggage Remus had. If he wished it, Charlie could kiss her and make love to her, and eventually (if he wished to) marry her.
With a sad sigh he pushed himself off the plush couch. Looking around the empty room he ran a hand through his greying hair and then began to walk towards his room. It was going to a lonely, lonely night.
2 days later
Remus was worried. It was almost midnight and Tonks was still not back from her date with Charlie. He knew it was ridiculous to be worried, but he couldn't help it. There was a war going on, and she was an Auror, and a member of the Order. It was enough proof to him that some Death Eaters would want her dead. And while he didn't think Charlie wasn't a competent wizard...he just didn't trust the girl he was madly in love with, with him.
So he was pacing up and down the hall. He only stopped to look at his watch occasionally, when he looked down again it read 12:15. He had a mind to give her a tongue-lashing when she got home. But he also didn't have that right, and he knew that, so he'd just stay up and pretend that he couldn't sleep. Just to make sure she got home safe and sound.
Twirling around he began to pace again. A clock in a nearby room was ticking loudly at Remus. It seemed to be taunting him.
Suddenly outside there was a loud crash and then laughter. Quickly rushing to the door, he was able to see out through the glass in the door and found Tonks being held up by the arm and both her and Charlie were laughing.
They were talking, and because of his heightened hearing he was able to hear their conversation.
"Charlie, I had a lovely evening, again...thank you." Her face was flushed from the chilly air and her laughter.
"Hey, you actually listen to my stories, I'd do almost anything to make up for that." Tonks smiled at him and brushed a strand of fuchsia hair behind her ear. "By the by, love the hair colour you chose out. It's very you."
Tonks giggled, Remus had never heard her giggle before. "Of course it's me silly, any shade of pink is me." With that she stuck out her tongue, feeling rather euphoric.
Charlie was staring at her intensely, Remus noticed, he also noticed Tonks didn't seem to, she was trying very hard to get a tangle out of her hair that had apparently gotten caught in one of the light posts. Then without warning for either Remus or Tonks, Charlie had lightly kissed Tonks on the lips.
She stared up at him amazed, while Charlie's face burned red, clashing severely with his hair. "Uh, well, good night Tonks." And he turned around to apperate.
"Wait! Charlie!" He stopped and looked at her. She took two steps and was next to him. "Good night." And she kissed his cheek. Charlie smiled and in the blink of an eye he had disapperated back to Bill's apartment.
Remus quickly left the door and went towards the kitchen, it did him little good to have her find him standing right next to the door. Plus he needed to get away from everything that just happened. There was such a strong sense of jealously inside him all he could think of was showing her a real kiss when she walked in the door. But that would be inappropriate he had to remind himself. He had told her he didn't feel that way, and it would be selfish of him to 'change' his mind when she was obviously happy with the Weasley.
He was hiding in the kitchen by the time she came back in. Tonks noticed a light from the kitchen and almost, almost, went to go look, but decided against it...she really needed to get to bed.
2 weeks later
She was feeling particularly coy. Her hair was a short spiky purple and her eyes a golden yellow. She had on a pair of torn up jeans and a baby t' with the saying 'Harry Potter Fan' on it. She had no shoes or socks on and was thinking about dancing downstairs to find if anyone wanted to go out with her. She wanted to buy something. She had a note she was sending to Charlie and she wanted to get him something along with it.
He was back at the dragon reserve and promised to owl him. Bill had asked her earlier how she felt about his younger brother, and she had answered with an 'I don't know'. Because truly, she didn't know. She was getting along with him splendidly, but she wasn't feeling any connection. It made her feel a bit bad. In a way she was leading on Charlie, but she was having such a good time, she didn't think too much about it.
Hoping around she reached the stairs, and wiggling her butt she went to bounce down the step, but instead misplaced her foot and tumbled down half of them, landing on the small landing between the top floor and the bottom. Landing soundly on her butt Tonks winced. "Ow, that hurt..." She mumbled standing up and rubbing her backside.
Tonks then heard a noise from downstairs. "You alright?" Remus was looking up at her with worried hazel eyes. "That was quite a tumble..."
She nodded and began to walk down the rest of the steps. Remus was still staring at her, it was freaking her out a bit. "Do you want something Remus?" She asked, looking pointedly back at him.
Smiling, he looked to her face. "I'm sure Harry would appreciate that shirt..." Tonks face began to blush a little and she crossed her arms.
"Shove it Moony, I happen to like this shirt. My mum gave it to me when I was younger. Before Harry was 'reinserted' into the Wizarding world." Her face was still a glorious red but she stood her ground.
"Of course, of course...I was just saying Harry would probably not want to know those exist. Might agitate him more then he already is."
"Yah I know...haven't worn it around him though, and I'm not planning on it. It's just very comfortable."
Remus nodded. "Now...why were you in such a hurry that you tumbled down the stairs?"
The redness escalated across her cheeks again. How could she tell him she was sending a semi-love note to Charlie? But then she remembered, he didn't feel the same way about her and actually decided he could help her in her quest. "You see, Charlie left for Romania a few days ago..." Remus' heart soared. "And I promised him I'd send him owls...so I wrote one today, but I need help."
Realizing what Tonks was asking, Remus' heart fell. She wanted him to read a love note...to another man. "What kind of help?" He asked in his best cheery kind of voice.
"You see...Oh I know this seems so girly...but I want to spray it with perfume...but I don't know which one. Remus would you, could you tell me which you like best? Please?!" She gave him puppy like eyes while asking.
It was worse then he thought, reading a love note was nothing to knowing she was already spraying them with perfume. "Alright" The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"Oh thank you!" With that she hugged him quickly and ran back up the stairs. "I'll be down with the perfume in a second! Don't go anywhere!" She called down to him.
Remus wanted to run. He wanted to hide and run and never come out. He thought this would be easier for him. For her. Well it seemed to be working fine for her. Not that he had wanted her to pine after him. But after only a few weeks she seemed to already found someone else to love. And it was tearing him apart, and now he had to look at a love note to another man...and smell perfume on it, meant for another man. Before he could get away however, she had returned with two bottles.
"Okay, this one is a vanilla and this one is sweet pea. Tell me which one you like more." She handed him a golden bottle first, the one she'd identified as vanilla.
As he put it up to his nose, he took a faint breath and his nose was hit with a light smell, barely detectable and to spicy for Tonks. Then she handed him a round shaped bottle, it was tinted pink. When this one hit his nose, he was instantly in heaven. It wasn't strong either, but slightly stronger then the vanilla and it was sweet smelling. It was almost calming and yet so wild and happy. There was no competition; the pink one was very Tonks. As he gave them back to her, his hand holding the sweet pea brushed against hers and it sent a spark through him. He quickly pulled away and placed both hands in the pockets of his robes.
"Go with the pink one..." He mumbled under his breath not looking at her.
"What? Remus I can't hear you." Tonks was surprised by how he was acting. Maybe he had been drinking? "Have you been drinking Remus?" His head flew up to look into her gold eyes. They flashed angrily.
"I have not been drinking!" He paused seething slightly, but with a few breaths he calmed himself a little, enough and then said sulky, "use the pink one...now I'm going to bed!" And he stomped up the stairs.
Tonks watched him confused. Then thinking quickly in her head she realized the full moon was only about four days away. Shrugging her shoulders she turned back around to head for her room. She needed to get her owl.
In his own room Remus plopped down on his bed and held his head in his hands. He was shaking, and shaking furiously. Between the smell of Tonks and the brief contact, so close to the full moon, it was a wonder he hadn't ripped her clothes from her body and had her right in the hall, where anyone could have walked up.
He needed to be more careful, or he was going to end up doing something he truly regretted.
2 weeks later
A cup of warm tea sat in front of him. The steam was playing a game in front of his eyes, but he was trying to block out everything. Ever since Tonks had been out with Charlie all Remus could think of was Tonks. It had been bad before, but he didn't have to worry about her being with someone else then. Now, everywhere he turned she was doing something cute, or girly, or sexy. And god was she sexy.
Lately she had been playing around with her appearance. At first it was just her normal things, hair and eye colour. But then she started to change other parts of her autonomy. She first messed with her body shape, and while each was cute, it wasn't her. He was grateful when she went back to her own shape. Then she started to play with her facial structure. Not drastic changes, but little ones. First her cheekbones were raised, then she thinned out her face, but the main change was her lips. Tonks had made her lips puffier, fuller, almost constantly in a pout. And it made her the sexiest being he'd ever seen.
He imagined what it would be like if he kissed those pouty lips. She'd return the kiss with her own vigour and he'd be surrounded by her light smell. With one hand he'd bring her closer to him, getting to run his hands through whatever silky hair she'd decided on. He'd then tease those lips with his tongue until she opened to him, moaning. With her own stubbornness she'd respond, though, and they would proceed to try and up one another.
Remus had to hold back a real life moan; his imagination was getting too real. With a few deep breaths he tried to calm himself down. He had made himself a little to excited...again.
So in his first attempts to help calm himself, imagine Sirius naked in the snow, Sirius naked in the snow...It wasn't a strong enough mental image... but it helped abate it a bit. He shifted a little, more comfortable then he'd been before. Next attempt, Severus in a leotard, Severus in a leotard, Severus in a leotard. That did it; Remus let out a long breath and took a sip of his tea.
Tonks then walked in the kitchen. She was in a short little black pleated skirt, with a nice white blouse...with no bra. Remus spit out the tea he'd been sipping. His once gone hard-on back with a rigour. "T-Tonks!" He stuttered out. She turned to him, her bright green eyes flashing.
"Yes Remus?"
"You—you're in a skirt..." His eyes were taking in her appearance greedily. Her dark cherry hair was rolling in waves down her back, green eyes stared at him with passion, she had her slender arms crossed under her chest making them more prominent (Remus' leg twitched), her long legs reaching to the floor with bare feet (Remus' twitched again).
"Well yes Remus, I do wear a skirt occasionally." She said staring at him a little confused.
"Ah...well...I've never seen you in one...it-it...well it looks very...it looks very sex—nice!" Remus stuttered and fumbled with his words. All control lost. All of his restrain was being placed on not grabbing Tonks right there.
She was beginning to put things together. It was making her heart leap for joy just a little bit. "Nice? Really...well thank you Remus. I'm glad you think so." She moved a little closer to him, swinging her hips just enough to get his attention.
Remus was staring with apt attention at her. "Yes...well...uh...I was only...only telling the truth. Yes...the truth." She took another few steps toward him.
"The truth? It sounded like you wanted to say something else. What did you want to say Remus?" She was right next to the table, her hand was resting on the top and she was staring at him with half hooded eyes.
There was no way he was getting out of this one. He was to turned on by her, he could barely make a coherent sentence. To him there was only way out of the situation. "Your sexy Nymphadora." His voice was husky as he also stood and grabbed her waist. "The sexist Nymph I've ever seen." With that he enacted the fantasy he'd just been having by harshly taking her lips with his own.
Tonks tripped backwards a little, surprised. But Remus caught her and held her close to him. His tongue was pressing at her lips and she could do nothing but except the magnificent taste and smell and touch that was Remus Lupin.
As his tongue played against her mouth she let out a moan and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her fingers in his soft greying hair. He was like a strong spice, and he was addicting. She, without thought, responded to his kissing by gently touching her tongue to his. Remus pulled back from shock. Apparently realizing what was going on.
"Nymph—I mean Tonks...I-I'm...oh god...I must leave...I'm sorry." And he quickly let go of her and rushed out of the kitchen.
Tonks stood confused, hadn't he just kissed her? Hadn't it been the most passionate, wonderful, sexy thing that had ever happened to her? And that had been no ordinary kiss...she knew. That was one filled with something...something she thought he said he didn't have. And if that was true he wasn't going to get away that easily.
"REMUS JOHN LUPIN!!!" She shrieked and began to stomp upstairs. "Remus!" She headed up the two flights of stairs to stand outside his room. "LUPIN, I will not stand for this!" Tonks pounded on the door, she knew he was in there. He always ran to his room when something was wrong. "I know you're in there!!!" When he still refused to open the door she began kicking and pounding. Making as much noise as possible. "Dammit Remus, open this door!" She screamed while placing a hefty kick at the door. "Shite!!!" Kicking the door so hard she managed to stub her toe and fell to the floor holding her hurting foot.
It was then Remus opened the door (which had previously been unlocked). "Tonks, are you alright?" He looked down at her worriedly. She just glared while holding her foot. Remus knelt down to look at her. "Tonks I'm sorry, here let me look." And gently he took her foot in his rough hands.
A tingle ran through Tonks as Remus pulled her foot and turned it this way and that looking at it. His thumb was tenderly rubbing the top of it, and it made her blood boil. Not able to help herself she grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him to her.
Their lips met again and when Remus tried to pull away Tonks wrapped one foot around his hip. Remus' eyes got wide as he stared into her green orbs. "Tonks?"
"Nymphadora, Remus." And she kissed him again. Instead of fighting his feelings Remus let them take over, and happily kissed her back.
The two sat like that for quite awhile, and were still sitting there loving one another when Kingsley walked by. "Well...what a pair, never would have guessed you two. Well I'm happy for you both, but could you please, get a room?" Tonks and Remus looked up at him, Tonks smiled sheepishly and Remus blushed.
"Right...a room. Remus?" Tonks looked over at the werewolf smiling. Remus' face burst into colour, making Kingsley laugh. Remus stood up, dusted off his trousers and looked at Kingsley.
"I hope you don't mind if I ask you to kindly migrate away from the hall...we have some business to attend too." Kingsley doubled over with laughter.
"Sure, Lupin. Have fun with your...business." And with that the black man walked off leaving Tonks and Remus alone in the hall.
Remus looked down at the little nymph. A smile gracing his features he offered his hand to her. Eyes gleaming Tonks placed her delicate hand in his and stood up as well. "Would you like to come in?" He asked gesturing to his room.
"I will...however you have to tell me the truth." Remus looked at her questionably.
"What truth?"
"That you, Messer Moony, love little ol' me." She said still holding his hand.
"I have no idea what you're talking about Nymphadora." Remus said in a serious voice, though his face had a rare real smile across it.
"Really you don't? Then I'm sure Charlie Weasley will be willing to take care of my needs..." And she tried to turn away to walk down the stairs. Remus, however, held tight to her hand and flipped her around to face him.
"Nymphie you don't mean that do you?" He said his face actually very serious. Tonks tilted her head looking at him sweetly.
"You're the only one Remus, the only one." And she pressed her lips to his in a light kiss.
When the two pulled away Remus had his eyes shut and in a husky tone said quietly, "I love you Nymphadora."
"Just what I needed to hear." And she pushed him into his room, flicking her wand at the door to shut it.