((THE ONES YOU LEAST EXPECT))

CHAPTER THREE: CONFUSION

Man, I've just been reading my prologue again, how bad was it; It never really never explained why

Neal wanted to commit suicide, BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO IN THIS CHAPTER!!!! MWAAHAHAHHAHAHHAA!!!

But never fear ladies and gentlemen (well, actually, I highly doubt that there are any guys reading TP fanfic, but hey, lets not discriminate!) the biggest twist is yet to come, well the biggest twists actually, this story is rapidly turning into a neighbours script. But no LJ, not even you know about these twists....they are top secret!!

Again MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Disclaimer: TP owns all the characters, and I own all my twists, and lame as they are, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't try to copy them, or sue me, cos I've only got 15 bucks

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My head is spinning around and it's making me dizzy,

Spinning around, and it's making me,

You don't understand what I'm going through,

Just too, find a way to climb,

But it'll be in my own time'

Delta Goodrem 'In my own time'

(kinda dumb chapter name and song, I noe, but it works, even if it's lame)

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Kel leaned against the closed door of her rooms and glanced, partly terrified, partly angry, partly curious, and partly cynical, at the man sitting on her couch. It surprised her even after all they'd been through together just how handsome he actually was. There was many a court lady who would have given anything to have this man in her rooms for the night, despite the fact that he was happily married. 'Yup' Kel decided 'this is officially depressing' she had quite possibly the most handsome man in all of Tortall sitting on her couch in the middle of the night, and she couldn't bring herself to feel interested. 'Well' she mused 'Not tonight anyway'

Thankfully, Neal interrupted Kel's thoughts before she could realise what she had just, well, thought.

"So," Neal sighed, "I suppose you wanna know every tiny, microscopic detail about why I did it, and what I'm going to do now"

Kel glanced at Neal with raised eyebrows. Sometimes he could be so juvenile, did he really expect her to just sit down and listen to all his problems, like some bloody psychologist? Well, on any normal occasion, she probably would have, but knowing what Neal had done, knowing what she knew, and it being well past midnight. Well, she needed a little time to cool off.

"No Neal, I don't" She finally said, "I want you to lie down on that couch, go to sleep and quit annoying me"

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Yuki tossed and turned in bed, trying to get comfortable. If Neal was trying to scare her, he was doing a very good job. She hadn't slept at all, but then, she had spent a fair amount of time crying. Still there was nothing she could do at one o'clock in the morning. She'd sleep in in tomorrow morning (or this morning, if you want to be picky:P), and then meet up with Neal for lunch. That way, she wouldn't look to desperate, and she wouldn't have to spend all morning worrying about the baby.

'Yes that's right the baby' she thought, 'you have to pull this off, think off the baby.' Yuki sighed, the whole thing was turning into such a mess over something so normal, and yet she could still see Neal's face when she'd asked him about it.

"A baby?" ...he'd said, when Yuki had innocently asked the classic 'do you want kids' question... "Yeah sure" he'd said, and Yuki's heart had immediately lifted, 'I knew it would be OK' she'd thought 'We'll just say its premature, and no-one should ask too many questions' but oh how wrong she had been...

"But" he'd continued, after a pause to take a large gulp of his drink. "I don't think I'd want any kids until I'm at least twenty-five or so"

That's when her heart had sunk too somewhere around her knees.

That's when she knew it had all been for nothing. The marriage, leaving her homeland, it had all been to save the baby, and Neal didn't even want it.

Yuki rolled over again, it was getting harder and harder to sleep like this. Her stomach seemed to get bigger every day. Only her spelled clothes kept Neal from seeing that she was having his child. Occasionally, Yuki would beat herself up about it. Why hadn't she just got one of those charm things, like every other girl? Why had she had to get drunk in the first place? Why had she allowed him to get drunk too? But it all came back to her realising she couldn't help it now, and trying to figure out what would be the best thing to do under the circumstances.

Except that now that she knew what to do, she couldn't even get the whole thing to happen. Neal absolutely refused to visit the Yamani Isles - despite the plague and her insistences - and that, really, was the babies only hope. She had no relatives in Tortall, no-one who looked enough like her so that she could pass the baby off as theirs. But in the Yamanis? That was another story. Why, her very own sister, Thokami, had been married three years, and had had no children so far. She was beginning to fear that she was barren, and would have been glad to take the baby of Yuki's hands quietly, and yet it couldn't happen without Neal. She was a young married woman. People would talk if she disappeared.

Yuki almost laughed out loud to herself, she sounded like a conspirator in one of those terrible romance novels court ladies read. But still, Neal didn't want this baby, and if she kept it, it might just push him over the edge. He might just divorce her, and if he did that, she'd be out on the streets. To marry Neal, she'd disowned her family...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging noise coming from the front of the house. 'Great' she thought sighing, 'Either Neal's back, or someone wants to murder me.' What a choice, a useless husband who'd walked out on her, or a ruthless loser who wanted to kill her. It was a close choice, but in the present circumstance, the murderer was looking appealing.

Yuki giggled to herself as she crossed the room to open the door. What was the point in being scared about it, whoever it was would eventually open the door, and even it was a murderer, perhaps he would put her out of her misery. After all there had to be something better than all this worry.

Yuki opened the door, and found it.

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Neal groaned as he rolled over, trying to get comfortable on the overstuffed couch in Kel's living room. Before now, he had thought this was a fairly nice couch, unfortunately, tonight had definitely changed his opinion. The thing was not only lumpy and uncomfortable, but it was far too small. His legs were starting to cramp up from being tucked so closely against him, and it was a complicated balancing act just too keep himself from falling off sideways. There was absolutely no way in hell that he was ever, ever going to be able to get comfortable on this thing, let alone fall asleep in it.

Neal sighed and rolled onto his back. If he couldn't sleep he may as well think about just what had made him go nuts with the knife for a while there. He wasn't suicidal; he knew that for sure, he never gave up on something he really wanted, no matter how stupid he may look while getting it. He'd proved that by achieving his knighthood at such a late age. So why did he decide to give up on life as soon as it started to deal him a bad hand?

Neal sighed. His heart knew the answer, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to admit it too himself yet, especially not at two o'clock in the morning while sleeping (or attempting too anyway) on somebody else's couch. Still, Neal knew he had to try.

Because in the end, it all came down to the two people he spent the most time with, Yuki and Kel, and if he didn't get it out soon, he was gonna go insane....

'Lets see' he thought to himself 'I wanted to commit suicide because I feel I'm wasting my life on Yuki, and that something is going on with her right now that I don't know about, and that she wants to go the Yamani Isles, and I don't, even though the plague there is getting extremely out of control, it also bugs me that the whole Yamani's thing probably has something to do with whatever she's keeping from me, and she expects me to just up and leave, so she can have her affair or whatever it is she wants to do. Oh, and she called me useless because I won't go'

Neal pondered this for a second. It all made sense; his domestic life had spun him into a huge fit of rage which had compelled him to go suicidal...

'But where does Kel fit in?' he wondered, every time he saw her now, he felt this rush of feelings, memories, he felt the need to just hold her and never let her go, yet he wanted to kill her for tempting him to betray Yuki. And yet at the same time, he hated Yuki's guts just because she was, well, alive.....

That's when Neal realised the inevitable....

He was in way, way too deep.

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Yuki gaped, open mouthed at the shadowy frame in her doorway. Anyone else would have had to ask the person who they were before they even thought about letting them in, but not Yuki. She knew this particular frame, and all that came with it, better than she knew her own mother.

"Junak?" she babbled "But, but, but they said you were dead,"

"In a way, I was" the man replied, finally stepping into the light, and flashing a winning smile. "I always am when you're not with me".

Yuki, usually won over by sweet talk, could only stare at the man in front of her, and wonder helplessly what she was going to do next.

"Well?" the charming man grinned "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Yuki didn't know what to do, whether she invited him in or not, she would be required to explain, at some point, that she had a husband.

And when she did, it was not going to be pretty....

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OMG, finally finished, took soooooooooooooooo long man. Oh well, it's over now.....more soon!!!