OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 9

Alicia: Hello one and all. Welcome to WGC. Here with me tonight we have Goddess Second Class Restricted License, Miss Telrúnya, Velsper, whose occupation is currently listed as "cat", and Gloriolass, Goddess First Class No Restrictions (whose name I hope I have the correct spelling of). Now let's see… (digs into the mail bag full of letters) Lalalalala-- ooh here's a prettiful postcard. "What is the meaning of life? - Vash"

Gloriolass: As if it wasn't bad enough that we got messages from people pretending to be Seiyuus. Now we're getting them from people pretending to be anime characters?

Velsper: And here I thought this show and its viewers couldn't get any dumber…

Alicia: Ok, if you're so smart, Neko-chan, why don't you tell us what the meaning of life is?

Velsper: The meaning of life is a very significant purpose to the creation of all animals. You humans, being as stupid as you are, shouldn't concern yourself with such things.

Miss Telrúnya: But Velsper-chan, Vash is an angel, not a human.

Alicia: Hahahahahahahahaha WHO'S STUPID NOW CAT-BOY!? WHO'S STUPID NOW!?!

Velsper: --;; You all suck - every last one of you. I hate you all.

Alicia: Postcard number 2 - "What is Belldandy's favorite food? - Gan-chan"

Velsper: I am so eating that rat when I get home…

Gloriolass: Do I detect a hint of jealousy?

Alicia: He's bumping off his weaker opponent. He'll go after Keiichi next. Heh heh.

Velsper: For your information, rat, Belldandy likes all foods so long as she can be the one to cook them.

Alicia: Last postcard for the day! "I'm suicidal. Let's see you try and do something about that. - Hiei"

Miss Telrúnya: Aw, poor Hiei-chan.

Alicia: Wow, even a confession of being suicidal sounds threatening when it comes from him.

Gloriolass: Oh my gosh! The poor dear! We must fix this immediately! (runs offstage)

Alicia: Where's she going?

Velsper: Let the bastard die. Thanks to the Doublet System, he'll kill Alicia in the process too. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Gloriolass: (comes back with Hiei and a chaise lounge) I'm back! (throws down the chaise lounge and puts Hiei on it) Hi Hiei. We brought you here to talk about your feelings.

Hiei: What the hell!? Leave me alone you stupid fools!

Alicia: But you wrote us this note hands him the postcard so we had to do something.

Gloriolass: It's okay to feel sad sometimes.

Velsper: Shut up, freak.

Miss Telrúnya: Hiei-chan, what's making you so sad? Come on, tell us. Don't let the fact that millions of viewers are listening live as you spew out your tear-jerking tale faze you.

Hiei: --;; Stupid goddesses.

Velsper: Hey! What about me!?

Hiei: Well, if you want to be included… Stupid cat. Now, as I've been trying to say, I wrote this message a year ago. I have solved my problem since. So if you'll excuse me… gets up

Miss Telrúnya: Wait Hiei-chan. Do you have bad memories you wish could go away?

Hiei: Yes. Thousands. Why?

Alicia: What's she getting at?

Miss Telrúnya: (pulls out a very fancy white bottle) Memory loss potion from the heavens! (takes a swig and kisses Hiei, forcing the memory loss potion into his mouth) Now, as Urd said to Belldandy, "All of your unhappy thoughts will disappear."

Alicia: Um, Miss Telrúnya, they put a ban on that stuff. Apparently they somehow linked drinking that potion to being attacked by a swarm of chibi Raths and being paddled over the head with "The Book of Goddess Life: 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Pages Edition"…

(Hiei is swarmed by a million and one Chibi Raths and they pummel him with "The Book of Goddess Life: 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Pages Edition" until he falls comatose.)

Chibi Rath # 20385: Well our work is done. Who wants ice cream?

Chibi Raths # 1-20384 and 20386-1,000,001: I DO!

(Chibi Raths leave)

Miss Telrúnya: Oh my! We need to get Hiei to the hospital!

Alicia: Well, that's it for today… and forever. Sorry folks, we've been cancelled. Goodbye forever and good luck!

Velsper, Miss Telrúnya, Gloriolass, Alison, Terri, Urd, Vash, Skuld, Peorth, Marla, and Velsa: WHAT!?!

Skuld: This isn't fair!

Urd: They can't do this to me!! I SWEAR, AS GODDESS AS MY WITNESS, I'LL KILL EVERY LAST PRODUCER, DIRECTOR, WRITER, BUS-BOY, ANIMATOR, VOICE ACTOR, AND ACTOR WHO WORKS FOR THIS GOD DAMN CHANNEL IF THEY CANCEL US NOW!

Alicia: --;; Bye-bye everyone…

Belldandy: We had a good run. We must remember the good times.

Alicia: Good point Belldandy.

Belldandy: So long, everyone!