Disclaimer: It's not mine.
Summary: Alec's interest on another girl drives Max crazy. Can she accept the reason for her jealousy?.
A/N: Ok, here it is. It took a while, but I hope it was worth the wait.
Special thanks to my amazing beta Secretly Beautiful.
Steph: Lets see if you like this approach. There is something deep between them, just not the classic way. You'll see when you read it. Let me know if you liked it.
Eden: Tasty? Thanks. I wasn't going to let Max get that hot guy so easily, come on.
Rose: I still have a couple more surprises up my sleeve. Glad you enjoyed the last one. About Alec, I don't know if chase is the right word for it, but lets just say he will be accepting his true feelings soon. What he'll do about it, it's a secret I'll reveal in due time.
Ting: She is pissed all right. Here is the next chapter, enjoy.
Lakergirl: I totally agree with you. Alec wasn't born to follow, he was born to be followed.
Natasqi: Thanks to you for reviewing. I'm very happy you love the story.
CHAPTER 10: CHOICES
When Alec entered the infirmary, Danielle was already there, sitting by the side of a sleeping Biggs´ bed. She appeared calm and at ease. Alec couldn't quite place why, but watching her like that sent a peaceful sensation through his veins. It was something only she could do to him, had done to him so many times before. Whenever she was in this almost enchanting mood, the world itself would stop and give her and whoever was around her, a break. Time to get themselves together to continue the fight. That's the reason he loved her so much. For a second, he was almost sorry that they weren't at Manticore anymore. A simpler world, a world they were experts on. But that second was just that, a second. Manticore had left him with some good memories, but with far more pain than anything else. This might be a world of uncertainty, a world of living on the run, but it is also a world were he can choose where to run to and how to live his life. And now, a world that included those friends that made Manticore bearable in the past. A smile appeared on his features at the thought.
He walked over to her and sat next to her chair. They were alone, the three of them. There hadn't been other soldiers injured on their respective missions and X5s don't get sick, therefore, there were no more patients or people looking over them. Even the frantic activity they caused by arriving at TC some hours ago with an injures Biggs had subsided. The X3 in charge of following Biggs´ development had gone home. Biggs was doing just fine; he'd be awake in the morning with nothing more than a scar and a headache. The pain killers would keep him sleeping all night to recuperate. That meant only three souls were inside the infirmary that night, and only two of them were conscious.
For more than five minutes a comfortable silence fell upon them both. They just sat there, enjoying being in each other's presence and resting their troubled souls in the calm of the place. Both staring at the body lying in front of them, lost in their thoughts. Finally, Danielle broke the silence.
"I'm sorry." Alec stared at her confused. Danielle saw this and explained herself, still not looking at him. "I'm sorry I lost it out there"
Alec did not answer her at first. He knew he would have done the same thing and that she knew this. He didn't need to forgive her because there was nothing to forgive. Yet, some seconds later, he spoke.
"I should have stopped him, I should have killed him when I had the chance. I still don't get why I let her convince me, I used to know better than that."
"Don't............ You did the right thing. She did the right thing."
Now Alec was really confused. Forget that, confused is a great understatement. He was completely speechless, which coming from Alec is a huge deal. She took her eyes off Biggs, but still didn't place them on her fellow X5. She stared at the wall across from them, but her mind was far away.
"Max ran away from Manticore and by doing so, she also ran away from everything. Every second of her life has been spent on proving herself that she doesn't belong back there, that she isn't the soldier. In my opinion, she has it all wrong. She thinks the soldier inside us is something we can ran away from. It's not. But most of all, she thinks the soldier inside us is something we HAVE to run away from, that it's something evil they put inside us. The truth is the soldier is what we do with it, the soldier is our skills, our abilities and our training. But we also have a personality to decide what we do with it. She did the right thing because she would have never forgiven herself if she had killed White, no matter how right it felt and how right it was, tactically speaking. She would have destroyed herself with the guilt and nightmares of past sins. She has been able to live with herself until now because it was Manticore who made her do those things. If she had killed White, it would have been her doing it. By killing White, she would have killed herself."
Danielle made a pause in her speech and finally looked Alec in the eyes. Her eyes were full of peace; the anger that Alec had seen in them earlier, completely gone.
"She made her choice and I respect her. She is free to take that road. She is a good girl, with a big heart and the ability to make a lot of people happy with her presence. I only blame her for one thing and one thing alone. She is free to make her choice, but after taking it, she shouldn't put herself in situations where her choice can hurt others. If she isn't ready to make the hard decisions, then she shouldn't put herself in the place to have to make them.
She should get that she is part of something bigger, she is a transgenic. She is one of us, whether she wants to be or not. She has to accept herself, every part of herself, so she can finally accept everyone else, accept us. And the day she can do that, she will finally get that she isn't alone. That we can help her, that we know what we are doing and she isn't responsible for us. She'll be able to understand that there are others to make the hard calls when she can't do it. I seriously think White should have died today. Not because I like hurting people, not because Biggs got shot and not because that's the way Manticore taught us. I think he should have died because he is a threat to every transgenic and human on this earth, because he is going to hurt a lot of people and we aren't sure we will ever have a better opportunity to take him out. I just hope we do, before we have time to regret today's actions......... I think he should have died today, but I don't think she should be the one to do it.."
She made another pause, never taking her eyes away from him. But before Alec could answer anything, even think of something to say, she spoke again.
"You know I'm right, that's the reason you love her, because she is so much more than a soldier. She is a broken toy, but deep down she is still innocent. She broke away from Manticore with enough time to save some of that innocence. We stayed, we understood that sometimes, the best choice isn't the best choice. Sometimes the correct thing isn't morally correct. That sometimes to save lives, you have to take them. You saw that innocence in Rachel and you fell for her, now you see it again in Max, but mixed with an enchanting fire. You are driven to her because she is like you in so may ways and yet, she can give you something you seek for but don't have. She is giving you the innocence back, she is breaking you away from Manticore all over again. First, she freed your body, now she is freeing your soul."
"Didn't know you were a poet." He tried to joke around, to diffuse a situation that was making him uncomfortable, hitting too close to home. But she didn't laugh. He himself couldn't make the smile reach his own eyes.
"You know it's true. You asked me once why we weren't together. That we loved each other and were great together. I told you then I didn't have an answer for that particular question, and yet we never tried. I know now. I've loved you since I was twelve and I always will. But we aren't like that, we were never meant to be like that. And we are both at peace with that fact. I have no innocence, not the type we are talking about. I don't have it and I don't seek it. I chose a path and I'm at peace with the choice I made. I know who I am and I like it, I wouldn't have it any other way. I hate Manticore because they gave us no choice in life, about who or what to become. But I don't hate who I am, I don't. You need Max, she is everything your soul seeks for. I need something else. I'm always going to be there Alec, we three are part of a whole. Biggs, you and me, we've seen too much and done too much together. We have a strong bond that will never disappear, but now it's time for you to add someone else to the mix. Think about it."
She stood up and leaned into Alec. She placed a kiss on his forehead and then walked away, heading for her room.
"´Night Alec. See you in the morning."
The male X5 was left there, staring at her back, thinking about her words. Five minutes after she exited the infirmary, a voice was heard inside the room again.
"´Night, D"
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Max hadn't slept all night. Not that her body was complaining or anything, shark DNA and all. She'd been thinking about the events of the past night. The words Danielle spoke, bothering her in so many ways. For starters, she hated the fact that the girl could speak to her that way and she didn't do anything about it. I mean, any other time she would have taken the girl's eyes out in a second. Yet, when the time came, she didn't, she let her speak. And even worse, Alec let her too. And it wasn't because he was attracted to Danielle, it wasn't because he had chosen Danielle over her. She saw it on his eyes, he did it because he thought Danielle was right. He thought she, Max, had made a mistake and Danielle was right. He agreed with Danielle. That was really killing her.
She had gone over every second of that conversation. She'd been pissed, confused, even ashamed at one point, but that didn't last long. In the end, she was still angry at Danielle and very pissed at Alec. How could they blame her for not killing someone? She wasn't like that, she had promised herself she would never let that part of her win. The fact that these people would question her will to keep herself away from what Manticore had put in her, that truly hurt her. But she had to admit, she felt a little guilty about Biggs getting shot. She would never take a life, not if she could help it, but she could have done more. Maybe hitting White harder, tying him up, anything that would keep him incapacitated for a tad longer. I mean, she knew what White was capable of, she should have made sure he wouldn't fight back for a long time. Yet, she didn't. And that was the reason she felt guilty. That was the reason she was going to the infirmary right now, to apologize, to make sure he was all right.
-------------------------------------------
Biggs was feeling better. He had woken up just five minutes ago and was now enjoying his breakfast. Some milk to make sure his seizures didn't bother him now that he was weak. Not the best breakfast ever, but it was better than anything.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty, How are you doing?"
"Hi Max! I'm ok, it was just a scratch. I feel like my head is going to blow, but the doctor says I will be ready to leave by tomorrow morning. Not that I mind. I'm sleeping on a very comfortable bed – which is a lot to say here on TC, by the way – so I'm not complaining."
Max walked closer to him and handed him a small paper bag she had brought with her. "I brought you some cookies to have with your milk. I hope you like them."
Biggs looked inside the bag and his eyes grew wider than it was humanly possible. He stared at her. "Chocolate. Max, how did you get this?"
Max chuckled at his reaction. "I have some contacts. I got the cookies some weeks ago and was saving them for a special occasion. I guess this is as good a moment as any."
"Wow, thanks Max. I love them." His mouth was already full with his first one. "You want one?"
"Thanks." Max took one and chuckled again at seeing Biggs´ huge smile while he ate the second cookie, quickly followed by a third.
"So, not that I mind, but why are you here and bearing gifts?"
"I just wanted to see how you were doing. We were worried."
"I'm touched. But really Max, what's going on?"
"Nothing. If you don't want me here, just say so and I'm gone." She started getting up.
"Sit. I know something is bothering you. Tell me what's wrong."
´Well, I guess it's now or never.` "Ok. You see, it's kind of my fault you got shot. I fought White and I just left him there. He woke up too soon, left the room without any problem and shot you. I'm sorry."
Biggs started laughing. She was definitely not expecting that kind of reaction.
"You are laughing at me?" Max's death glare shut him up.
"Max, it wasn't your fault. People get hurt on missions, you can't help it. I knew the risks and I made my choice. It has nothing to do with you. I'm a big boy, I'm responsible for my own actions. Really Max, there's nothing to apologize for."
Max looked at him, he really meant it. He gave her a tender smile and she answered him with a grateful look.
"But if you really want to help me, if you really feel guilty for this bullet hole I have in my forehead, you can always kiss it better" She punched him lightly on his right arm. "Ouch! Injured man here." She started laughing again, although it quickly changed into a frown when she heard a very familiar voice at her back.
"Hey man! Look what I got for you. You are going to love me for this."
Alec appeared by the door holding a huge TV on his arms and the ever present smirk on his lips. Max stood up from her chair and still looking at Biggs, she spoke.
"I'll leave you two love birds alone. See you later, Biggs." And with that she turned around and stormed out without even looking at the X5 of hazel eyes. Alec's smirk faded for a second but was back on in no time, as he headed for his best friend's bed.
Summary: Alec's interest on another girl drives Max crazy. Can she accept the reason for her jealousy?.
A/N: Ok, here it is. It took a while, but I hope it was worth the wait.
Special thanks to my amazing beta Secretly Beautiful.
Steph: Lets see if you like this approach. There is something deep between them, just not the classic way. You'll see when you read it. Let me know if you liked it.
Eden: Tasty? Thanks. I wasn't going to let Max get that hot guy so easily, come on.
Rose: I still have a couple more surprises up my sleeve. Glad you enjoyed the last one. About Alec, I don't know if chase is the right word for it, but lets just say he will be accepting his true feelings soon. What he'll do about it, it's a secret I'll reveal in due time.
Ting: She is pissed all right. Here is the next chapter, enjoy.
Lakergirl: I totally agree with you. Alec wasn't born to follow, he was born to be followed.
Natasqi: Thanks to you for reviewing. I'm very happy you love the story.
CHAPTER 10: CHOICES
When Alec entered the infirmary, Danielle was already there, sitting by the side of a sleeping Biggs´ bed. She appeared calm and at ease. Alec couldn't quite place why, but watching her like that sent a peaceful sensation through his veins. It was something only she could do to him, had done to him so many times before. Whenever she was in this almost enchanting mood, the world itself would stop and give her and whoever was around her, a break. Time to get themselves together to continue the fight. That's the reason he loved her so much. For a second, he was almost sorry that they weren't at Manticore anymore. A simpler world, a world they were experts on. But that second was just that, a second. Manticore had left him with some good memories, but with far more pain than anything else. This might be a world of uncertainty, a world of living on the run, but it is also a world were he can choose where to run to and how to live his life. And now, a world that included those friends that made Manticore bearable in the past. A smile appeared on his features at the thought.
He walked over to her and sat next to her chair. They were alone, the three of them. There hadn't been other soldiers injured on their respective missions and X5s don't get sick, therefore, there were no more patients or people looking over them. Even the frantic activity they caused by arriving at TC some hours ago with an injures Biggs had subsided. The X3 in charge of following Biggs´ development had gone home. Biggs was doing just fine; he'd be awake in the morning with nothing more than a scar and a headache. The pain killers would keep him sleeping all night to recuperate. That meant only three souls were inside the infirmary that night, and only two of them were conscious.
For more than five minutes a comfortable silence fell upon them both. They just sat there, enjoying being in each other's presence and resting their troubled souls in the calm of the place. Both staring at the body lying in front of them, lost in their thoughts. Finally, Danielle broke the silence.
"I'm sorry." Alec stared at her confused. Danielle saw this and explained herself, still not looking at him. "I'm sorry I lost it out there"
Alec did not answer her at first. He knew he would have done the same thing and that she knew this. He didn't need to forgive her because there was nothing to forgive. Yet, some seconds later, he spoke.
"I should have stopped him, I should have killed him when I had the chance. I still don't get why I let her convince me, I used to know better than that."
"Don't............ You did the right thing. She did the right thing."
Now Alec was really confused. Forget that, confused is a great understatement. He was completely speechless, which coming from Alec is a huge deal. She took her eyes off Biggs, but still didn't place them on her fellow X5. She stared at the wall across from them, but her mind was far away.
"Max ran away from Manticore and by doing so, she also ran away from everything. Every second of her life has been spent on proving herself that she doesn't belong back there, that she isn't the soldier. In my opinion, she has it all wrong. She thinks the soldier inside us is something we can ran away from. It's not. But most of all, she thinks the soldier inside us is something we HAVE to run away from, that it's something evil they put inside us. The truth is the soldier is what we do with it, the soldier is our skills, our abilities and our training. But we also have a personality to decide what we do with it. She did the right thing because she would have never forgiven herself if she had killed White, no matter how right it felt and how right it was, tactically speaking. She would have destroyed herself with the guilt and nightmares of past sins. She has been able to live with herself until now because it was Manticore who made her do those things. If she had killed White, it would have been her doing it. By killing White, she would have killed herself."
Danielle made a pause in her speech and finally looked Alec in the eyes. Her eyes were full of peace; the anger that Alec had seen in them earlier, completely gone.
"She made her choice and I respect her. She is free to take that road. She is a good girl, with a big heart and the ability to make a lot of people happy with her presence. I only blame her for one thing and one thing alone. She is free to make her choice, but after taking it, she shouldn't put herself in situations where her choice can hurt others. If she isn't ready to make the hard decisions, then she shouldn't put herself in the place to have to make them.
She should get that she is part of something bigger, she is a transgenic. She is one of us, whether she wants to be or not. She has to accept herself, every part of herself, so she can finally accept everyone else, accept us. And the day she can do that, she will finally get that she isn't alone. That we can help her, that we know what we are doing and she isn't responsible for us. She'll be able to understand that there are others to make the hard calls when she can't do it. I seriously think White should have died today. Not because I like hurting people, not because Biggs got shot and not because that's the way Manticore taught us. I think he should have died because he is a threat to every transgenic and human on this earth, because he is going to hurt a lot of people and we aren't sure we will ever have a better opportunity to take him out. I just hope we do, before we have time to regret today's actions......... I think he should have died today, but I don't think she should be the one to do it.."
She made another pause, never taking her eyes away from him. But before Alec could answer anything, even think of something to say, she spoke again.
"You know I'm right, that's the reason you love her, because she is so much more than a soldier. She is a broken toy, but deep down she is still innocent. She broke away from Manticore with enough time to save some of that innocence. We stayed, we understood that sometimes, the best choice isn't the best choice. Sometimes the correct thing isn't morally correct. That sometimes to save lives, you have to take them. You saw that innocence in Rachel and you fell for her, now you see it again in Max, but mixed with an enchanting fire. You are driven to her because she is like you in so may ways and yet, she can give you something you seek for but don't have. She is giving you the innocence back, she is breaking you away from Manticore all over again. First, she freed your body, now she is freeing your soul."
"Didn't know you were a poet." He tried to joke around, to diffuse a situation that was making him uncomfortable, hitting too close to home. But she didn't laugh. He himself couldn't make the smile reach his own eyes.
"You know it's true. You asked me once why we weren't together. That we loved each other and were great together. I told you then I didn't have an answer for that particular question, and yet we never tried. I know now. I've loved you since I was twelve and I always will. But we aren't like that, we were never meant to be like that. And we are both at peace with that fact. I have no innocence, not the type we are talking about. I don't have it and I don't seek it. I chose a path and I'm at peace with the choice I made. I know who I am and I like it, I wouldn't have it any other way. I hate Manticore because they gave us no choice in life, about who or what to become. But I don't hate who I am, I don't. You need Max, she is everything your soul seeks for. I need something else. I'm always going to be there Alec, we three are part of a whole. Biggs, you and me, we've seen too much and done too much together. We have a strong bond that will never disappear, but now it's time for you to add someone else to the mix. Think about it."
She stood up and leaned into Alec. She placed a kiss on his forehead and then walked away, heading for her room.
"´Night Alec. See you in the morning."
The male X5 was left there, staring at her back, thinking about her words. Five minutes after she exited the infirmary, a voice was heard inside the room again.
"´Night, D"
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Max hadn't slept all night. Not that her body was complaining or anything, shark DNA and all. She'd been thinking about the events of the past night. The words Danielle spoke, bothering her in so many ways. For starters, she hated the fact that the girl could speak to her that way and she didn't do anything about it. I mean, any other time she would have taken the girl's eyes out in a second. Yet, when the time came, she didn't, she let her speak. And even worse, Alec let her too. And it wasn't because he was attracted to Danielle, it wasn't because he had chosen Danielle over her. She saw it on his eyes, he did it because he thought Danielle was right. He thought she, Max, had made a mistake and Danielle was right. He agreed with Danielle. That was really killing her.
She had gone over every second of that conversation. She'd been pissed, confused, even ashamed at one point, but that didn't last long. In the end, she was still angry at Danielle and very pissed at Alec. How could they blame her for not killing someone? She wasn't like that, she had promised herself she would never let that part of her win. The fact that these people would question her will to keep herself away from what Manticore had put in her, that truly hurt her. But she had to admit, she felt a little guilty about Biggs getting shot. She would never take a life, not if she could help it, but she could have done more. Maybe hitting White harder, tying him up, anything that would keep him incapacitated for a tad longer. I mean, she knew what White was capable of, she should have made sure he wouldn't fight back for a long time. Yet, she didn't. And that was the reason she felt guilty. That was the reason she was going to the infirmary right now, to apologize, to make sure he was all right.
-------------------------------------------
Biggs was feeling better. He had woken up just five minutes ago and was now enjoying his breakfast. Some milk to make sure his seizures didn't bother him now that he was weak. Not the best breakfast ever, but it was better than anything.
"Good morning, sleeping beauty, How are you doing?"
"Hi Max! I'm ok, it was just a scratch. I feel like my head is going to blow, but the doctor says I will be ready to leave by tomorrow morning. Not that I mind. I'm sleeping on a very comfortable bed – which is a lot to say here on TC, by the way – so I'm not complaining."
Max walked closer to him and handed him a small paper bag she had brought with her. "I brought you some cookies to have with your milk. I hope you like them."
Biggs looked inside the bag and his eyes grew wider than it was humanly possible. He stared at her. "Chocolate. Max, how did you get this?"
Max chuckled at his reaction. "I have some contacts. I got the cookies some weeks ago and was saving them for a special occasion. I guess this is as good a moment as any."
"Wow, thanks Max. I love them." His mouth was already full with his first one. "You want one?"
"Thanks." Max took one and chuckled again at seeing Biggs´ huge smile while he ate the second cookie, quickly followed by a third.
"So, not that I mind, but why are you here and bearing gifts?"
"I just wanted to see how you were doing. We were worried."
"I'm touched. But really Max, what's going on?"
"Nothing. If you don't want me here, just say so and I'm gone." She started getting up.
"Sit. I know something is bothering you. Tell me what's wrong."
´Well, I guess it's now or never.` "Ok. You see, it's kind of my fault you got shot. I fought White and I just left him there. He woke up too soon, left the room without any problem and shot you. I'm sorry."
Biggs started laughing. She was definitely not expecting that kind of reaction.
"You are laughing at me?" Max's death glare shut him up.
"Max, it wasn't your fault. People get hurt on missions, you can't help it. I knew the risks and I made my choice. It has nothing to do with you. I'm a big boy, I'm responsible for my own actions. Really Max, there's nothing to apologize for."
Max looked at him, he really meant it. He gave her a tender smile and she answered him with a grateful look.
"But if you really want to help me, if you really feel guilty for this bullet hole I have in my forehead, you can always kiss it better" She punched him lightly on his right arm. "Ouch! Injured man here." She started laughing again, although it quickly changed into a frown when she heard a very familiar voice at her back.
"Hey man! Look what I got for you. You are going to love me for this."
Alec appeared by the door holding a huge TV on his arms and the ever present smirk on his lips. Max stood up from her chair and still looking at Biggs, she spoke.
"I'll leave you two love birds alone. See you later, Biggs." And with that she turned around and stormed out without even looking at the X5 of hazel eyes. Alec's smirk faded for a second but was back on in no time, as he headed for his best friend's bed.