Title: Four Nights
Author: Willow
Summary: Josh has been home from hospital for two weeks and he's not a well as he says he is.
Spoilers/Episode: Up to season 2, Midterms.
Characters: Ensemble
Rating: PG

Part V - Thursday Night

Toby walked from his car and up the front stoop of Josh's building. He rang the bell and waited for Josh to answer.

"Hello."

"Donna?"

"Hey, Toby, come in," Donna replied.

Josh looked at her from the couch and smiled. "You are so cruel."

"I know," she grinned. She felt much better knowing that everyone was helping look after Josh. She knew he'd hate her putting it like that, but that was how it was. She opened the apartment door and let Toby in, trying not to laugh at the slightly frightened look he gave her. "Coffee?" she asked him.

"Please," Toby replied glancing toward Josh, who was also trying hard not to laugh, but with less success than Donna. "I thought Donna was staying at home tonight?" Toby asked Josh quietly.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Toby looked worriedly at the stuff he'd bought with him.

Donna watched them from the kitchen. Leo had talked to her this morning about letting Josh get involved in the elections. She'd not been convinced at first, but he'd talked her round. She'd told Josh at lunch and he looked happier than she'd seen him in weeks. Leo hadn't had chance to tell Toby though, and Donna was going to have a little fun with him.

"What you got there?" she asked Toby as she handed him a coffee. "You've just had one," she told Josh, who was giving her a questioning look.

"What am I, rationed or something?"

"You know where the kitchen is," she smiled and sat down.

"Fine," Josh said, standing and walking to the kitchen.

Donna followed him. "What you doing?" she asked.

"Making a coffee," he replied.

"Fine," she said and went back to the lounge. "So, Toby?"

Much to everyone's amusement, Toby was a little scared of Donna and her rules on visiting Josh. "It's just some stuff for me to read later," he said quickly. "When Josh is in bed."

Josh sat down. "You sound like you're babysitting," he commented, only half in jest. He was still a little touchy about everyone rallying round, no matter what Leo had said. "Can I have a look?"

"Josh," Donna said. "You know the rules."

"Don't you have to be at Keep Fit with Candi?" Josh asked.

Donna looked at her watch. "Not for ages yet. Don't you even think about opening those files."

"She's right. We'll watch TV and have something to eat," Toby said hastily.

"Stop torturing him," Josh laughed. "Leo partially lifted the ban on work. I'm allowed to help with the midterms," he told Toby.

Toby looked at Donna. "Does that go for you too?"

"Leo'll be flattered," Josh smiled. He looked at Donna, "Keep Fit?"

"Yes I'm going," she grinned. "Good luck," she told Toby, "you'll need it."

"Bye," Josh called.

"Why'd you let her do that to me?" Toby asked.

"It was her last chance," Josh shrugged. "You hungry?"

"Yes. Pizza?"

After they'd eaten, Josh started to flick through one of the reports that Toby had bought with him. "Are you sure you're allowed?" Toby asked.

"Yes, I'm a grown man, I can make my own decisions, and anyway Donna's not here," he smiled. Then he watched Toby seriously. "What's going on, Toby?" he indicated the files that Toby's brought.

"With what?"

"You."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do. None of this stuff is about the midterms." Josh knew that Toby was on a mission to get the hate groups and he didn't think it was healthy. "You want to get round the Bill Of Rights by claiming there was a conspiracy and giving the FBI grounds to investigate."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's just wrong," Josh told him. "You can't investigate and arrest people because you don't agree with their views. It's not the way we do things."

"No?" Toby asked angrily. "Well look what happens when we do things the right way."

Josh nodded. "But you agree that the way we do things is the right one?"

"Yeah," Toby muttered. "I just think we'd all feel better if there was something we could do to get justice," he said quietly.

"The shooters are dead, Toby, the signal guy's in prison. What else do you want?" Josh asked.

Toby was glaring at Josh. He'd hated these people all his life. He couldn't understand why Josh didn't want to go and get them all. "Why don't you hate them?" he asked.

"They're dead."

"Not the shooters. The people who sent them, the people who support them, who hate us because of what we are."

"I do," Josh said quietly.

"Then how can you not want to get them. How can you not want to hurt them like they hurt you?"

Josh considered how to answer that. He was tired and in pain. He'd accepted that it was going to be months before he was fully recovered. But, as much as he hated the people who did this, he didn't think that steaming into Blacksburg and arresting them was going to help anyone.

"They attacked us because they don't agree with our beliefs," Josh said. "They don't agree that it's fine for a black guy to date a white girl. If we attack them because we disagree with their beliefs, how does that make us any better than them?"

"We didn't break the law."

"They have a right to free assembly, no mater how much we disagree with them. We can't legislate against people's beliefs, only their actions."

"But our beliefs are the right ones."

"Yes they are," Josh agreed. He looked at Toby. "We have to move on, Toby. Otherwise they've won."

"I wish it were that easy."

"It's not easy, believe me I know that."

There was one thing that Toby had been feeling guilty about since August 7th. One thing he needed to get off his chest. Maybe now wasn't the right time. Maybe Josh wasn't the right person. If it were him who'd been shot though, he'd hate people to tiptoe around him, and he was pretty sure Josh felt the same.

"I wrote the memo," Toby said quietly.

"What memo?"

"The one telling the Secret Service that the President wouldn't use the canopy."

"Yes I know," Josh said. "I was in the meeting. I agreed with you, we all agreed that it was a good idea. You may have actually written the memo and taken it to him to sign. But we all agreed, and he signed it. None of this is your fault. Everyone feels guilty about this and it's ridiculous"

"They do?" Toby sounded dubious.

"Yes." Josh can feel himself getting angry, he tried to calm down. "Charlie and Zoey feel guilty because they were the targets. Leo because I should have been with him. Sam & CJ think they should have looked for me. The President, God knows why. Donna feels guilty because she wasn't there. And now you, because you wrote a memo?" Josh asked. "Toby, you found me. People were walking past and ignoring me. I'd just about given up. Then I heard you calling me and I held onto that. If you hadn't come when you did..... the doctors said that another 5 minutes and I'd have died. Another couple of minutes even and there'd have been brain damage. But you found me and I am going to be fine. So enough of the guilt okay. Concentrate on the midterms. That's how we beat them, the people who hate us because of what we are. That's how we win. By coming back even stronger than we were before."

Toby knew that Josh was right. He just wasn't sure he could do that, he didn't know whether he could let this go. He could see that the discussion had left Josh exhausted though, and he understood why Donna had been banning him from visiting. "You want a drink or something?" he asked.

"No thanks. I'm gonna to go to bed." Josh stood slowly up. "Think about what I said. I'll see you in the morning."

Part Six...