Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it, and I probably never will. Drat.
A/N: Last time, our group was attacked by a horde of vicious, chatspeaking Rabid Fangirls! Fortunately, they escaped with the help of a ladder from a plot hole that was, ironically, inadvertently created by the fangirls themselves. Now, what the heck are they going to entertain us with next, I wonder? Let's watch and find out…Oh, and this chapter was brought to you by The Random Annoying Questions Generator: "If you're looking for random annoying questions to ask, then look no further!"
And now...review answering time!
Dreamstrifer: Glad you liked the Pocky! I'm a Literary Snob too...chatspeak is the spawn of evil-evil, second only to the dreaded Mary-Sue. Out of your stories, Misadventures of Madness was my favorite. I was laughing so hard I fell out of my chair.
Sentinal Squiddie: Yay for you! [throws confetti] And yes, the Twins will most definitely have their revenge on Smelrond...fufufufufu...
Chapter 5: IRFC
After their narrow escape, the group, which now included Girl, Smelrond, Clara, One, and Two, was standing in yet another alley, far, far away from the one that contained the Rabid Fangirls.
Girl: Sooo…now what are we gonna do?
Clara, One, and Two: [think] Obliterate Smith in some unimaginably violent way. [end thinking] We dunno.
Everyone except Smith: [whip heads around to face Smith] Well?
Smith: [sweatdrops, as he has doesn't know] Ummm…we could…um…go and…uh…
Girl: WAIT!!! I HAVE AN IDEA!!!
Smith: [looks extremely relieved]
Everyone else: What is it?
Clara: Is it something fun?
Girl: [nods] Mmhmmm…
One: Is it something insane?
Girl: [nods slightly faster] Mmhmmmmm…
Two: Is it something hilariously funny?
Girl: [nods really fast, then jumps up and down] We're gonna go an' frighten some Rebels!
Clara: Yay!
Two: How?
Girl: Well…here's what I was thinking we could do… [whispers plan] And we shall be henceforth known as…The IRFC! The Insane Rebel Frightening Club! Okay, let's go find some Rebels!
Later…
Two male Rebels, Digit and Raven, are doing reconnaissance in yet another dingy alleyway, with a high wooden fence at the back making it into a 'dead end'. Their conversation is interrupted when Girl scrambles over the fence, loudly and with much unnecessary noise, looking sneaky.
Girl: [looks around and darts behind a trashcan, Mission Impossible style, loudly humming the James Bond theme] Doo doo dee doooo dee doo dooooo…doo deedee doooo doo doodoooo… [zigzags between various 'cover' until she reaches the incredulous Rebels] DÉJÀ VU!!!
Raven: What?!
Digit: Who are you?!
Girl: My name is unimportant, but…[stage whisper] There is no spoon!
Raven (takes out phone): Operator, who the bloody hell is this?
Girl: Oooooooo! Who're 'ya talkin' to?
Digit: Quiet, and don't move.
Girl: Why not?
Digit: Because I said so.
Girl: [singsong voice] That's not a real rea-son.
Digit: I don't care!
Girl: You should care.
Operator (over phone): She's just a normal coppertop.
Girl: Am not! [proudly] I'm a delegate from a race of sentient machines who want to take over the world and turn all of humanity into batteries!
Digit: WHAT?!?
Raven: You are?!
Girl: Nope.
Digit: Oh.
Reven: I think you ought to come with us.
Girl: Why?
Raven: We need to tell you some stuff.
Girl: Can I have a pair of cool sunglasses?
Digit: Whatever, come on.
Girl: YAY! [sings and dances] Sunglasses, sunglasses, spif-fy awe-some sunglasses! [waves hand in the air as a signal to the others, then follows the Rebels and gets in their car]
Raven: [starts car and begins driving]
Digit: Operator, we're bringing the girl to the HQ, can you get ready by the time we get there?
Operator: You bet. We'll be waiting. [hangs up]
Raven: Sooo…where exactly did you get that idea about the sentient machines?
Girl: [thinks] The weird dudes in suits. They asked me lotsa questions about stuff.
Digit: [nervous] What sort of stuff?
Girl: Ummm…Whether or not I was the one who sent their database a virus that makes pink elephants fly across their computer screens.
Raven: Were you?
Girl: No. They also spouted a bunch of stuff about sentient machines and human batteries, and told me to steer clear of strange people in trench coats. Then I woke up.
Digit: Were there any, um…freaky silver bugs anywhere in your dream?
Girl (cheerfully): No!
Raven: [sigh of relief] That's good.
Girl: [evil grin] Where are we going? Why is it taking so long? Do you know how to drive? I don't think you do. Do you like Alice in Wonderland? Do you think Lewis Carroll was on drugs? I don't think he was. Disney was on drugs, though. Why did they cut stuff from the book just so they could add stuff that wasn't even in the book? [sudden inspiration] Do you like computers? I like computers. They sure use up a lot of energy, don't they?
Digit and Raven: [eyes begin twitching slightly]
Girl (continuing): Do you talk to your computer? Are you from the government? Are you secret agents? Why is the sky blue? Do you believe in aliens? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Girl went on like this for the rest of the car trip, and by the time they had reached one of those dilapidated old building that Rebels like so much, this one being the HQ of Digit and Raven's crew, both Rebels felt like smashing something. They refrained, however, and Girl's incessant questions stopped as soon as she left the car. The three of them walked up some dilapidated old stairs and through a dilapidated old door into a dilapidated old room with some dilapidated old furniture in it. It doesn't look nearly as foreboding as Morpheus' 'house-thingy' did in the movie, seeing as how it is not a dark and stormy night, but a bright and sunny afternoon.
Raven (looks around and whispers to Digit): They aren't here yet, what should we do?
Digit (whispers to Raven): Maybe we should just start without them.
Raven: I guess… [goes to sit in a dilapidated old armchair] So…girl…do you ever feel like there is something wacked about the world?
Digit: Like something isn't exactly right?
Girl: All the time! Wait…are you two psychologist secret agents or something?
Raven: No! We're just trying to…oh, bloody hell, this is harder than it looks…
It was at that very moment, that Smith, Clara, One, and Two burst, skipping, through the door. They were, you guessed it, dressed up as…the Truce Fairies. Meaning that they were wearing N64 controllers around their necks, wearing bubblegum machine crowns, and waving faerie princess sparkle star wands in one hand and lightsabers in the other.
Digit: What the hell…?
'Truce Fairies': [singsong chant] We are the Truce Fairies and we love everything and we stand for peacefullness and everything nice!
Girl: [waves happily] Hi guys!
Raven: [frantically talking into cell phone] Operator, what the hell are these…things?!
Operator: Well, it looks like two ex-Agents, and two- no, scratch that- one other program.
Clara and Two: [grab Digit's hands and begin dancing him around in a circle, still chanting about happy peacefullness]
Digit: [panicking] Raveeeen! Help meeeee!
Smith (standing off to one side, muttering): If they think I'm going to skip, they have another think coming…
And it was at that very moment, that a group of people burst through the door and stopped dead at the sight of the chaos within.
People: Huh?
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Sorry this took so long; school is on it's way [ominous music plays and lightning flashes] and I've been kinda busy. Next chapter might take a little while too. For some reason, my muse lives at school, and frequents math class, so expect more updates when school starts! (I know that sounds backwards, but whatever)