CHAPTER 2

Nothing in Rachel Green's thirty-one years of life could have ever prepared her for what she was about to do. She had to tell Ross, her ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, best friend, and the father of her only child that his little sister was going to die. She wasn't even sure if she could achieve it. She remembered a point in time six months ago, when Monica had been going through chemo and radiation. She had made a promise to Ross.

FLASHBACK

Rachel entered her apartment one Wednesday evening after having had a long, hard day at work. Then again, everything was stressful lately with Monica being sick.

Rachel stopped in her tracks to behold an unexpected sight: Ross was standing by the window, crying. She hadn't seen this happen in a while, even since Monica was diagnosed.

"Ross, what's wrong?" she asked in a concerned voice.

He turned around and looked at her with tears misting in his brown eyes and spilling over. Rachel's heart went out to him and all she wanted to do was hold him. However, before she could do anything, his voice rang out desperately.

"I'm just so tired of being strong, Rachel. Everyone expects that because I conceal my emotions well, I have none at all. And nobody even gives me credit. Yeah, I'm good at appearing strong, but I have needs, too!" He sat down and buried his head in his hands, sobbing wretchedly. Rachel positioned herself beside him and draped her arm around him. With her free hand, she turned his face toward her.

"That's not true, Ross. I have always admired your strength. We all do. It's what's gotten us all through this tough time. But you're right, enough is enough. You deserve all you've given to us, and you will get it. Come here." She pulled him against her chest, caressed his hair and kissed the top of his head. He snuggled as close as he could, never having felt more comfortable.

In her arms, Ross no longer had to hide anything.

PRESENT

Rachel checked herself in the mirror again. Her eyes were no longer red, and her face was clear. She smoothed her sleek blond hair for probably the millionth time in the past hour. That was when she heard the apartment door swing open and her heart leapt to her throat.

"Rach?" she heard Ross call. She took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom.

"Hey, Ross," she said softly.

Seeing him standing there with a content, unsuspecting expression, having absolutely no idea what was happening to his sister and no idea of the awful, earth-shattering bomb she was about to drop on him nearly took Rachel's precious breath away. However, there was no turning back now.

"Everything all right?" he asked, breaking into her trance.

Unable to find her voice right away, she shook her head. "No, sweetie," she managed in a croak. She then motioned to the couch. "Sit down."

Eying her strangely, Ross did as he was told. Rachel followed suit, swallowed painfully, and took his hand in both of her trembling ones.

"Ross, it's Monica."

"What?! Is she okay"?"

Rachel gulped again. He wasn't going to make this any easier. "No, Ross, she's not. She passed out this morning, right after you had left for work and before I was about to. Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and I rushed to the hospital. Her tumor's growing. The doctor's confirmed that not only is it malignant, it-its inoperable." Ross's dark eyes grew saucer wide and were full of childlike fear.

"Ar-Ar-Are they sure?" he stammered.

"Yes." was all Rachel could say in response.

"And none of you called to tell me?" He now sounded angry as well and jerked his hand away from Rachel.

Rachel felt helpless, knowing that her true excuse was deficient. "Ross, we didn't want to interrupt you at work, we figured-"

"I can't believe you guys!" he screamed. "You all receive the news that my sister's dying and don't even bother to tell me? You think I don't care more about my sister than my work? I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!"

Ross glared at Rachel with infuriated eyes, but also he was shaking with tears streaming down his face. Rachel's heart ached for him and she tentatively placed a comforting hand on his back. She was about to speak when he began frenziedly pounding his fists on her shoulders.

"You bitch!" he sobbed out. "I hate you, Rachel! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!!" Ross screamed himself hoarse while sobbing at the same time.

Despite his curses and punches, which inflicted no pain on Rachel whatsoever, she shieldingly wrapped her arms around him, hugging his racking body close.

"Shh, Shh, I'm so sorry, sweetie, you're right. I'm so sorry..." Ross at last stopped his pummeling and yelling, and just weakly sagged in her arms, still sobbing forcefully. Rachel stroked his hair gently, letting him cry.

"Why her?" he choked through hysterical tears. "Why my sister? She di-didn't deserve it, Rach!" Hitching sobs that caused his body to shudder violently followed his grief-stricken words.

"I know she didn't, honey. And I don't know why. Life's just not fair." Rachel's voice cracked as she stated the bitter truth. Ross continued to cry for the next few minutes, soaking Rachel's shirtfront with tears.

"Shh..." she continued to whisper, trying both to calm Ross and slow her own heartbeat down. "You know that I'm always here for you, Ross. We all are." All he could do was nod against the front of her shoulder.

"I'm s-so sorry Rachel," he said through tears and chattering teeth. "I-I don't hate you. P-Please don't leave me."

"Never, sweetie," she promised, kissing his hair gently. "I'll never, ever leave you. I'll always be here. Shh.... it's okay..."

But Ross knew it wasn't. Instead of responding he just nestled as close in Rachel's arms as he could get, shivering and crying profusely.

Ross sat in the waiting room with Rachel's supportive arm around his shoulders. Although he was still in repulsive shock from several hours before, he had been unable to cry since. Knowing that Rachel was there and would be strong for him throughout this nightmare calmed his inner dread. It went the same for her, the feeling of being needed and providing comfort. Monica's doctor at last entered the desolate room and motioned to the pair. Ross turned to face Rachel.

"You go first, please. I'm not ready."

Rachel smiled. "Okay," she said, gently rubbing his shoulder and kissing his cheek. "Make sure he eats something." She called to Phoebe and Joey, who had just entered. Then she was gone, before Ross could complain that she was being somewhat maternal. Deep down, he was actually touched by how much she cared. It was what he needed right now.

Rachel entered Monica's hospital room and winced at her friend's frail, sleeping form. She carefully tiptoed to her beside and sat in the chair already placed there. Not wanting to startle her awake, Rachel tentatively touched Monica's hand. Obviously awake, her blue eyes popped open and smiled weakly up at her best friend. Rachel brushed a dark strand of hair off her face.

"Hey, sweetie. How do you feel?"

Monica shrugged. "I've been better. But I've also accepted it, Rachel. I'm just worried about leaving you all ."

Rachel squeezed her thin hand. "I know, Mon," she said, her voice cracking. "But don't worry about us, sweetie. Just enjoy life. We'll be here...until the end."

Monica smiled that gorgeous beam of hers that would never leave Rachel's memory and her eyes filled with tears. Her tender expression communicated eternal gratitude.

"How's Ross?" she asked. Rachel's face turned grim.

"Not good at all. He scared me to death when he reacted, Mon. I've never seen him or anyone cry like that before."

"Oh, God, can I see him? Sorry, it's not that I don't want to be with you, it's just I need to tell him some things."

"Hey, it's okay, of course. Anything you want, Monica. We love you, and you're our main concern," Rachel bent down and kissed Monica's forehead. "I'll send him up, sweetie." She turned away quickly so that Monica wouldn't see her tears.

Once in the hallway again, Rachel wiped her eyes, knowing she had to be strong for Ross and her other friends. It was obvious that Monica was counting on her, and the last thing she wanted was to let her best friend down.