Disclaimer: Naruto sigh as always and forever does not belong to me. It belongs to its creator, Kishimoto Masashi, and the associated companies sigh.

Note: The entire series in this world has been edited as of April 27, 2005, meaning that unnecessary comments have been removed, certain things added, etc. The sequel to this, Delicious Revenge has also been newly edited, so if you just started reading this, you'll be presented with a spanking new, better version of everything. You lucky dog, you.

La/-/er- Kyahaha! Finally! Another one for my account. And the very interesting thing about this one is that I started writing this when I was in bed. With a little small red light that caused me to be all bendy and my back hurts. Anyway, I was writing on a small notepad with a very good pen of mine, which started leaking and then revived out of nowhere.

So, this starts out a tad like my other SasuNaru story. But after a bit, it goes back to normal story format. You'll see what I mean, if you've read my other fic. But you still should even if you didn't since, it's sorta obvious... a bit.

And as always, dedicated to Seito. And written for her (though she doesn't know this) in an attempt to get her mind off of school and homework. With that, also written for anybody who has already started school. Since I live in New York, it doesn't start for another two weeks... hahaha! I laugh at you!Ahem, sorry.

Last note, things in italics, are "separate" from the things that are going on around it, you'll see what I mean.

Now, I present to you my baby child of the week:

Misconceptions --- The La/-/er

"Hey, do you have any lube around?"

A hand pauses. '...eh?'

"Lube?"

"Lubrication, idiot, so we can do this smoother."

"Uh..."

"Unless you want both of us to be in a lot of pain when we do this, go find something for lubrication."

'Oh. Dear. God'

"But why would I be in pain?"

A whining tone was heard, the pout almost seen.

"Because you're going to be on the bottom and a lot of the force is going to fall on you."

A frustrated sigh.

"And why exactly am I on the bottom?"

"Because you asked me to do this, now hurry up and find some lube."

A pause.

"Although by the looks of this apartment, it might take some time."

Well, then, it was awfully convenient for him to say this as the person outside the apartment, yes, the person whose hand paused in knocking on the door, quickly rushed away.

And it was not to give them privacy.

Oh no... it was to exploit it.

'I need to go find someone, anyone! Ah-ha! I know!'

It was quite unfortunate that the eavesdropper wasn't experienced enough to leave something behind in their absence. For if they had stayed and sent a clone, or left a clone there, they would've heard the following. As it is, they didn't do what someone like... Jiraiya would've done in this situation and it is due to this that we even have a story at all. The story that officially starts now.

"Why did you want to get a new bed anyway?" Sasuke looked towards Naruto, who was currently running around the house looking for some lubrication, as he had been asked.

He scrunched up his nose in that cute way only anime characters could do and replied, "It was getting creaky."

At that, Sasuke raised an eyebrow and not so subtly said, "What've you been doing on it? Having sex?"

As the boys were at the age where sex was quite... interesting, this was not a abnormal question. They were 16 after all, however... Naruto sputtered, "Wh-what! Sex! No! Why in the world would you say that?"

"Because your reaction is making me awfully suspicious." Sasuke said with amusement, watching Naruto make faces at him.

"Well, no, I'm not having sex and haven't been having sex. The bed was getting creaky because it's old and the attachments were getting loose." Naruto made another face. "Why would you think that I was having sex?"

"Besides the fact that we are sixteen, in case you haven't noticed, you have a growing fanclub."

There was a moment of silence where Naruto abruptly stood up and looked at Sasuke incredulously where he was, sitting under the window where his new bed was to be put.

"What fanclub? I don't have a fanclub. You have a fanclub. But as far as I know, who would like me enough to create a fanclub? I mean, a fanclub. Indicating that there are enough people that like me to have created a group dedicated to liking me. And..."

"Stop blathering dobe, and you do have a fanclub. They've started following you a couple of months ago. How could you not notice?"

"Easy! I never expected it! How did it start anyway?"

"I heard Hinata started it."

"Hi-Hinata? Why would she...?"

Sasuke sighed in exasperation, "Considering how dense you are, I shouldn't be surprised and yet I am. Hinata's had a crush on you since you guys first met. It just so happens that she found more people who apparently like idiots like you and started a club dedicated to you."

"Hey! Don't call me an idiot!"

"Then stop stalling and find some lube!"

Naruto blinked for a moment before continuing to search the room. "But still, " he muttered, continuing to search through the room, "A fanclub? That's just... wrong." (And the rest of us are screaming how it's not.)

Sasuke continued to watch the blond-haired boy traverse across his room. There was a lot of crap in here. It was a wonder that you could find anything at all. But then, it could be because they needed to set up the new bed and a lot of his things needed to pushed away to make enough room. 'Hum... I need to come here again to see how his house usually is.' Was the thought that passed Sasuke's mind as he lazily watched his teammate search his house for the lubrication that would allow them to slide the pieces of the bed together smoothly. And yes, that was the reason for lube. Why was Naruto on the 'bottom'? Well, someone had to be holding the bed attachments together, didn't they?

"Ah-ha! Does this work?" Naruto asked while holding up a bottle of... something, which Sasuke examined and agreed with. (As I do not know what would make a good lube that are for non-pleasurable events.)

"Yeah, that works, now get over here so we can start already."

-

Now, while all that was happening, the person who was standing outside Naruto's door who shall be identified in mere moments, had scurried away to reach a particular flower shop. That's right, they were going to Ino, they weren't Ino herself. In fact, they're entering the Yamanaka flower store right now.

"Ino! Ino, come over here!"

Dun, dun, duuuuuun...

"Kiba-kun! What are you doing here?" Ino walked over to said dog-boy, wiping her hands on her apron.

As it was revealed, it was indeed Kiba who stood there as if there were ants in his pants (rather much like Shino) and was also the person who was oh-so-conveniently at Naruto's apartment at the wrong time. Now, one would wonder, why Kiba would go to Ino of all people when they weren't particularly close. But as they've discovered, there were currently only a handful of teenagers that weren't fascinated with Sasuke or Naruto. And interestingly enough, Ino was the only girl, for she was currently dating Shikamaru. Yup, those two finally got together.

So as she was the only girl available, it was only right for Kiba to go to her, after all, she should be able to provide a clear point of view. She would be able to tell him what was going on in Naruto's apartment... right?

Well, to tell the truth, it was very likely, but then it's easy to forget even though Ino was a particularly smart girl, she was also the biggest gossip in Konoha. Within limits of course, she was trustworthy, but in this situation, it turns out that she would do what anyone else would do. Something that wouldn't be very pleasant for anyone, in the end.

"Well, see, the thing is, you know how I was planning to go to Naruto and ask him if he wanted to do something because I was bored," Kiba started.

"Well, no, I don't know, but go on, continue." Ino started to look curious, mighty curious. For even though she was indeed dating Shikamaru, well, looking after the two most sought after bishounen was fun. And here, Kiba was presenting what seemed to be delicious information on one of them. Moments later, she will find out that it's actually about both.

"I was over there, but before I could knock on the door, I heard the weirdest conversation." Kiba paused, suddenly struck with the thought that maybe, just maybe it wasn't a smart thing to go to Ino with this information. But then Ino prodded him and he tossed the thought away and continued.

"See, the thing is, I wasn't to sure what to make of this, but apparently Sasuke was there too," Kiba said. And with the mention of Sasuke's name, Ino began to blink rapidly and looked even more eager to hear what would make Kiba so nervous.

Much to her disappointment, Kiba paused and looked around the shop. "Um, can we talk somewhere else, I'm not sure we should be talking about this here." With a glance around the shop, it was obvious that many people started to take notice of them as the names of Naruto and Sasuke came up. Even the adults who still disliked Naruto because even though they don't like him, their children did and there was nothing they could do about it.

Momentarily forgetting that telling Ino without an initial promise of secrecy would lead to the entire town knowing within hours anyway, Kiba looked at Ino pleadingly.

(Desperately) Wanting to know what it was that was making Kiba so anxious, she nodded and took off her apron before yelling out to her mom, "'Kaa-san, I'm going to take a break, alright?" Said mother nodded and moved off to help another customer.

The two teenagers moved outside the shop and conveniently walked to a park that was in the direction of Naruto's apartment. Finding a decently empty area, Kiba, without a pause, started and ended his story. Not that it was very long.

"When I went over to Naruto's apartment, before I could knock on the door or call out to Naruto, I heard Sasuke and Naruto talking. At least, I thought it was Sasuke, it sounded and smelled like him. Anyway, I didn't mean to, but they were talking a bit loud and I heard what they were saying. They were talking about something about finding lube and something about there being pain for Naruto because he was bottom and I got a horrendous thought that they were having sex and I was so confused and felt rather weird about hearing this from those two that I left when Sasuke said that it would probably take some time to find the lube because Naruto's house was so messy and even though Naruto's house isn't really that bad, I left in a hurry and then I went to your shop because I knew you would be able to tell me whether I'm wrong and and and..." Kiba took in a deep breath while Ino processed the information while inwardly growing more and more excited and then finished off with, "And that's it." (Can anyone say, run-on sentence?)

Ino quickly thought some things out before asking, "How long has it been since you left?"

"Um, I think maybe close to fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes! What are we still sitting here for! We need to go see what they're doing!" And with that, Ino grasped Kiba's hand and hurriedly pulled him to the direction of Naruto's house. "Come on, come on, we might have missed out already."

Close to narrowing his eyes in suspicion at Ino's excitement, the thought was perished yet again when he almost tripped over a rock as a result of Ino's hard pulling. Still, he did want to know what was going on too.

They finally arrived at the apartment and Ino was ready to barge in when they heard,

"-works, now get over here so we can start already."

The two stood in shock at that sentence. Well, Kiba did, Ino sorta started, um... drooling.

-

(This is when the two POVs combine to show what was heard at this time.)

There was a slight pitter patter before a slight thud.

'Naruto's walking? And then... falling to his knees!' -Ino

"Alright, move this over a bit."

A slight shuffling.

'That was Sasuke then.' -Kiba

'Oh damn, that is Sasuke!' -Ino

"Okay, now get on your back."

"Yeah, yeah."

'Naruto...bottom...?' -Ino

"Make sure you hold this tight alright?"

"Will you quit ordering me around!"

Silence. The glare could actually be felt on the other side of the door. Too bad nothing else could.

A sigh.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I asked you to do this."

'Naruto asked Sasuke? -Ino

"Good that you finally realized. Now I'm going to put the lube on, you ready?"

'What?' A scrunched up face 'No foreplay?' -Ino

"Yup, go ahead."

Slight noise. Sucking? Slithering? Smoothing? Something with another S? (What else has a S?)

'Oh dear, mental image, mental image.'-Ino

By now, Kiba was just standing there and just... not thinking.

"I'm gonna start pushing it in now. Stay still and try not too move too much."

'Well then, that's no fun.' -Ino

"Aa, okay, I'm good, you can do it now."

Grunting sounds.

Pause.

"It doesn't seem to be going in very well."

"Then push harder!"

"Alright, but don't come crying to me if you get hurt."

"Yeah, yeah."

And guess what, more grunting sounds. And a slight...

'Is Sasuke groaning?'

...groan.

And suddenly... a moan.

"Naruto? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, you just hit something there when you pushed. Go on."

'Hit... some.. thing. Dear god, I think I'm going to faint.'

"I'm gonna pull it out now."

"Hmm...?"

A pause.

"Ah, I see, alright."

A sucking noise. You know, that noise you hear when you pull something out?

Trickle of a nosebleed.

Wait... two trickles.

Or is that three?

"Okay, I don't think I need to tell you want I'm doing now."

"No, I get it, hurry it up though. I'm starting to get tired."

"Ha! You're tired."

Multiple sucking sounds and groaning. A slight squeak.

"...Naruto?"

"Would you quit stopping so much?"

Exasperated sigh. You can almost see Sasuke rolling his eyes too.

"Fine, fine."

Multiple noises that are too many to distinguish, then...

Flop, smack, moan.

"Finally! We're done! That took so long."

"Humph, it was all your fault."

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, get up."

"Help me."

"You're helpless."

"Which is why I asked for help."

A snicker.

Pitter patter.

Louder and louder.

'Oh my god, they're coming over, we have to leave!'

Opening door.

Now, at this point, most fanfiction would end here with Ino and Kiba standing outside the door and looking into the apartment to be greeted with the sight of a fully clothed Naruto and Sasuke and of course, the empty bed frame. And then realizing that they weren't having sex, Ino and Kiba would blush (Ino more than Kiba), mutter something and then leave with this memory only in their minds. However, my stories aren't normal. And they aren't most. And thus...

"Weird, I thought someone was out there." Sasuke glanced around, turning to the left mere milliseconds too late to see the end of Ino's ponytail.

"Yo, Sasuke, what're you doing? Get over here and help me put my mattress on the bed."

Sasuke glanced around suspiciously for a while longer before shrugging it off and turning into the apartment. "Really, Naruto, are you so weak that you can't even pick up a mattress?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm weak and dead-last and all that. Now if you're done angsting, come over here and help me."

With a chuckle, Sasuke closed the door and went to help his friend.

Never realizing that the two lurkers/eavesdropper were still under the illusion that they were having sex. And with Ino knowing all this without a promise not to tell, within hours, the whole town knew. And the whole town meaning Sasuke's and Naruto's fanclub. The next few weeks were to be hell for the two teenagers, that is... until they decided to enact revenge upon the whole town, not just Ino and Kiba.

Owari?

La/-/er- To tell the truth, this was supposed to be a one-shot that included this and the two people's revenge. But then this part got too long. -sigh- Well then, I will be starting the sequel in a little while, after I rest. But depending on the reaction to this, I may or may not post the sequel. So if you want to know what Sasuke and Naruto decided to do, review! If you're satisfied with this, still review. Cuz then I know you liked it. Either way, if you review for whatever reason, you'll find out what happens.

And to show you that this was originally a one-shot, this was the original summary.

Misconceptions- Because misconceptions, if played the right way, were deliciously fun. Implied Sasunaru (Implied!)

Now I need to make a new summary! Nooo! Aw crap! frown I'm just going to use the original then, maybe. Hum...modify it? Hurm...

And I just fully realized... I seem to like writing these kind of fics, considering my other fic, the first one I wrote not related to the first, first fic I wrote, was something along these lines too. In other words, someone was eavesdropping, thought they were having sex, and they weren't. I found it to be good, so check it out if you liked this. Of course, I never specified who the eavesdropper was, so it could've been you, could've been Kakashi, Kiba, Iruka, Ino, Sakura, etc etc. And I have a surprise ending for that one, lol.

Before I leave you wondering what all the noises were, I'll go in order. As Naruto was the one to be holding the bed frame as Sasuke inserted the piece that needed to be... inserted, Naruto had to be on the floor. So thus, the falling on knees. And getting on his back. And as we all know, Naruto asked Sasuke to help him with the bed. So then Sasuke puts whatever Naruto found onto the metal piece thing and starts inserting it. And Naruto needs to stay still for this, obviously.

It doesn't slide in very well, thus, "It doesn't seem to be working very well." And Naruto tells him to just push it in harder. And we all know that when you exert force, you can't help but emit sounds, therefore, Sasuke groaning. But then Sasuke's hand slips and he hits Naruto and... yeah. Sasuke pulls it out so that he could try to push it at a different angle. I purposely didn't have Naruto speak at this part, cuz then it would've ruined everything. So Naruto sees what Sasuke's talking about and he tells him. So obviously, Sasuke pulls it out and the lube-thing makes sucking noises. And here Ino and Kiba gets nosebleeds.

And then making Sasuke dictate what they're doing doesn't seem like what they would do during sex so... he stopped. They talk about how tired they are, Sasuke pushing and Naruto staying still and holding the frame. And the force of Sasuke's pushes are falling onto Naruto. The squeak was the metal, but I made it seem like it was Naruto. Sasuke stopped cuz Naruto was making faces at him, as Naruto is wont to do. And then multiple noises, cuz you can only say "moaning and groaning and sucking" so many times. And then, finally, Sasuke fits the piece in and the bed frame is complete.

Wow, that took some time. At this point I got confused who was saying what, lol, but it's Naruto saying that it was Sasuke's fault. The next part I added cuz I felt like it. And I get the feeling that in sex the bottom seems to be described like that and stuff... ya know... helpless -cough- But mostly cuz I wanted to show Sasuke and Naruto being normal. And the rest is self-explanatory.

Finally! The Author's Note is done. I would be afraid that it's as long as the fic if the damn thing wasn't 9 pages long.

Anyway, grin how was it? Does everything make sense now? Did you like it? Tell me in a review and if you want the sequel... And it's not really how many I get (I'm not that greedy) just what the reviews say.

Note: As was said up there, a multi-chapter sequel has been posted under the name of Delicious Revenge. Don't read it if you don't want to though, as it's rated M and has actual SasuNaru-ness. Among other things.

Written: 8/27/04 2:08:02 p.m. to 8/27/04 4:12:36 p.m.