Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.
Review Response:
I'm going to respond to reviews in general now, as a page of review responses looks bad. Thanks to all of you who like the fic so far, I'm glad I can write well enough that everyone seems to like it. Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I wanted to have one there for dramatic spice. Christina, glad you think Raven stayed in character with regards to how she felt about Terra. I try to keep everyone acting correctly. The Big Fisch and HappyRaven, I liked the grocery store scene as well, common situations are where superheroes are most out of place, and it's a nice plot device. Regrem Erutaerc, don't worry about the climax happening right away. It's a bit off. Anyway, on to the story.
An Empath's Burden
"I'll give you one last hint. It was a Titan, and it wasn't Starfire."
Raven's eyes widened. He couldn't mean....
Beastboy smiled at her, though he radiated nervousness. Raven stammered, unsure of what to say.
Raven's mind was a tornado of thoughts. He'd liked her? How could she have not noticed? She remembered that he was always nervous around her, and he tried too hard to make jokes sometimes... but that was because her powers were strange, he was afraid of her. Wasn't it? There's no way he could have a crush on her, no one could have a crush on her, she was a half-demon for Azar's sake! She tried to speak, but her mouth wasn't working right.
"Beast... Beastboy, you liked... I didn't know." Raven was surprised by her stammering. She was never so unsure of herself, it was a strange feeling.
The boy in front of her laughed nervously, and she sensed that he suddenly regretted telling her. He grinned, turning his head and looking at her sideways. "I... Yeah, I had a crush on... I had that crush before Terra. So yeah, she wasn't my first crush or anything."
Raven cleared her throat, focusing on putting her normal expressionless mask back on. She was only partially successful, her face still wore a look of surprise and confusion. "Beastboy... I'm not sure that-"
"FRIENDS! You have bought mangoes from the store! Many thanks! I had forgotten to put them on my list of shopping!" Both teenagers jumped as Starfire's bright and cheery voice rang out loudly in the quiet corridor. Raven turned towards her, angry at having been interrupted. Beastboy seemed happy, as if she served as a much needed diversion from the accidental confession. Starfire floated down the hallway to them, smiling brightly.
"Glad you like them, Star! But it was Raven's idea, I was too busy signing autographs." Beastboy smiled wide at the alien, putting his hands on his hips proudly, as if the one autograph had proven him a star.
Raven's eyes looked away from Starfire's. "I remembered that you enjoyed them."
Starfire lightly hugged Raven, much to her chagrin. She pulled away quickly, knowing that Raven didn't like hugs, but unable to help at small one. She smiled at the two teens, who still looked a little awkard. "Tell me, what were you two talking of? You seem embarassed!"
"Oh, I just... uh... nothing Starfire." Beastboy laughed nervously, looking to Raven for support.
"We were just talking about Beastboy's feelings." Raven wasn't directly lying, but knew Starfire would interpret it as a conversation about Terra.
"Beastboy, she is gone. You must understand that she may not be coming back." Starfire looked at Beastboy with sadness in her eyes.
Beastboy nodded. "I know Starfire. But what Raven meant when she said-"
"Some thing are better left unsaid, Beastboy. Many things are better left unsaid." Raven stepped backwards through her now-open door, and watched Beastboy's face as the door closed. She winced from his nearly painful regret and embarassment, but the feeling faded as Starfire offered to help him cook dinner. Raven heard him accept the help, and felt his feelings fade as he pushed them away, trying to look happy for Starfire. She turned, pressing the door lock and leaning her back against it, sliding along the door until she sat on the floor, her cloak underneath her.
"He had a crush on me? Why? What could he possibly see in me?" Raven stood, walking to the small desk and vanity she had. She ignored her meditative mirror for the moment, instead looking into the nonmagical one on her wall. She seemed so... plain. Short, purple hair, with no real styling to it. Grey skin, very non-human. Purple eyes... well, she'd always thought her eyes were pretty. She stood back from the mirror slightly, looking over her upper body, turning slightly to see her figure. She certainly wasn't unattractive, but she wasn't model material either. She sighed, feeling stupid for admiring her own body, and sat down on her bed, chin in her hands, staring forward in the dark room.
Beastboy didn't say that he liked her now. He had only said that he had entertained a crush on her before Terra had entered the picture. They had known Terra for nearly six months, though for only a month and a half of that had she been living in the Tower. Perhaps she had been a little cold, she could have waited to tell him that she wasn't interested. The look of defeat on his face when she had told him that it would have been better left unsaid... It pained her.
She sighed heavily. Why did it bother her so much that he was hurting? Granted, she could feel his pain through her powers, but he wasn't hurting at the moment, and so that shouldn't be it. Also, he was a friend, but she shouldn't feel so bad for rejecting him, it was the best thing to do. She couldn't date anyone, her abilities would never allow it. She'd accidentally kill the person long before it could blossom into anything more than light affection, if the stories about what love felt like were true. She rolled her eyes. Of course they were true, she'd been around people in love before, she knew exactly how it felt.
She closed her eyes, and saw Beastboy's face once again. The same look of pain and regret as he'd worn when she spoke last at her door. Raven opened her eyes again, angry at herself for hurting him, and still curious as to why it mattered. He'd be over it pretty quick, Beastboy always bounced back quickly.
Raven pulled her legs up, sitting once more in a lotus position on her bed, then began to levitate lightly. She focused, finding her calm center, burying her confusion and regret under her shell, safely far from the surface.
Raven was reading the book of Azar once again, rehashing a chapter on the more advacned meditation techniques. It seemed that the book changed whenever she reread it, so she made a point to look again at sections that had escaped her before. She was only vaguely aware of the people in the tower. Starfire was feeling cheery and experimental, no doubt cooking. Beastboy and Cyborg seemed to be overexcited and anxious, probably playing videogames. Robin was focused and intense, apparently training.
Raven put down the book of Azar, shaking her head. The meditation had helped, but hadn't pushed Beastboy from her mind completely. She still felt bad about rejecting him, even though she really had no choice. Even ignoring the fact that her powers would go haywire if she dated someone, she had never wanted to date Beastboy.
He was a good person, sure, and she did enjoy his enthusiasm, but she'd never considered dating him. He was too active, he tried to hard with his jokes, and he was far too excitable for her tastes. She sighed, standing up and walking towards her door. It was nearly time for dinner, so she felt she might as well join the group. The door opened and she jumped, seeing Beastboy standing right in front of her. He grinned.
"Uh.. Guess you were thinking the same thing. Dinner's ready." He pointed his thumb towards the common room.
Raven composed herself. "I thought you were playing videogames."
Beastboy raised an eyebrow. "I was, but Star said that dinner was ready, so I figured I'd come get you. Are you ok?"
Raven nodded slowly, trying to figure out why she was so nervous. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Thank you for retrieving me. Let's go." Raven began walking down the hall to the common room, Beastboy next to her.
A few seconds passed. Raven spoke up. "Beastboy... I'm sorry about what I said earlier."
He shook his head. "No no no. You were being honest, it's fine. I can take it."
Raven didn't say anything, she couldn't think of the right words.
"Besides, like I said, it was before Terra." Beastboy grinned, putting his hands behind his head and walking forward, looking at the ceiling.
Raven suddenly felt almost ill. He was right, he'd said he liked her before Terra. She'd thought about that before, but still it had seemed like he still had a crush on her. Raven didn't understand why she felt so... depressed all the sudden. She pushed it out of her mind as best she could, adn stopped in front of the common room door. She reached out to press the button to open it, but Beastboy hit it first.
"Gotta open the door for the lady." He grinned as she walked through the door.
Raven watched as everyone sat around the table. Starfire hadn't been cooking, not exactly. She had simply cut the mangoes into small peices, then soaked them in milk, presumably imitating peaches and cream. Beastboy had apparently gotten out of food preperation for the moment. Robin came into the room a moment after the table had been set, having responded to Starfire's message on his communicator.
Raven watched as Starfire floated over to Robin, excitedly telling him of her food. Robin was sweating heavily, and quite tired, but he still responded to her with optimism and sincere hope that the food would be better than her normal attempts. Raven could feel the love... no, not love. Perhaps affection was the better word for what the two Titans shared.
Raven looked away from them, poking at the strange fruit and milk soup with her spoon. She felt someone staring at her, and looking up, she saw Beastboy grinning from the other side of the table.
"Don't just play with it, it's actually pretty good!" He was trying too hard to cover up what had been said, to repair the awkwardness that lingered between them. She looked back at the food, then took a spoonfull of chopped mango and milk, tasting it experimentally.
Not bad. Not great, but not bad. A little too sweet for her taste. She could eat it though. She began absentmindedly eating, only present physically. Her mind was still running over the weirdness that her friendship with Beastboy had recently gone through. They had been distant friends before, teammates. She had offered to console him, and she felt that they had gotten a little closer. Close enough, apparently, that he had been willing to tell her of his old crush for her. Then, everything had fallen apart. She didn't know how to act around him anymore, she was afraid that if she did one thing, she'd be leading him to think she liked him back, but if she did another thing, she'd be hurting him. She sighed deeply, looking down into her empty bowl of mango soup.
Raven jumped a little when she felt hands on her shoulders. Starfire leaned over her, smiling. "You have eaten a dish that I have cooked! This is the first time you have done so! You thought it was perhaps good?"
Raven shrugged, her face once again blank. "It was fine. A little too sweet for my taste, but overall it was fine."
Starfire smiled. "It is good to try things that seem to be 'not your taste'. It often leads to surprises!"
Raven raised an eyebrow, watching as Starfire floated over to the kitchen, taking Raven's bowl and spoon, and washing them happily. Everyone else had been talking at eating, having a normal dinner, ignoring her quiet solitude. There was nothing uncommon about her being quiet. She stood, and began walking towards the door out of the common room. She stopped when she heard a voice.
"Hey! Raven, don't forget, tonight's movie night! Everyone's got to be here!" She turned to see Beastboy still grinning like an idiot. She sighed, turning back towards the door.
"Come get me when it's time." She walked through the door, hearing it hiss shut behind her. She walked down the hallway, thinking. Something was nagging her, tugging at her mind. She couldn't think what it could be, however. She smiled slightly, thinking of Beastboy. He was being very nice to her, not pulling too many jokes, not harassing her as much as normal. He was still trying too hard, but at least it was trying too hard to avoid harassing her, than trying too hard to make her laugh. Her smile faded. No matter how nice he was, he still was too random and goofy for her tastes.
"It is good to try things that seem to be 'not your taste'. It often leads to surprises!"
Starfire's words came back to her head. That's what had been bothering her. Dating Beastboy was something she wouldn't normally consider, but perhaps it was similar to Starfire's mango soup. Not perfect, but still good. She'd never find a perfect person, but honestly, Beastboy wasn't that bad a choice.
She stopped at her door, sighed, and opened it. She shouldn't simply settle for someone, though, it wasn't right to date Beastboy jsut because he was not that bad a choice. She walked over to her bed, and laid down, suddenly feeling tired from all the strange emotions. She forgot about movie night, instead deciding to lay down and go to sleep right now. She drifted away quickly, her mind still running in circles about Beastboy.
A/N: Raven is all unsure of her ability to date people, and unsure of her now-strained friendship with Beastboy. Not all that much happened this chapter, but not every chapter can be a huge revelation. Next chapter might be a day or two, because I have to move back up to college, and that takes most of the day. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and review happily!
Review Response:
I'm going to respond to reviews in general now, as a page of review responses looks bad. Thanks to all of you who like the fic so far, I'm glad I can write well enough that everyone seems to like it. Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I wanted to have one there for dramatic spice. Christina, glad you think Raven stayed in character with regards to how she felt about Terra. I try to keep everyone acting correctly. The Big Fisch and HappyRaven, I liked the grocery store scene as well, common situations are where superheroes are most out of place, and it's a nice plot device. Regrem Erutaerc, don't worry about the climax happening right away. It's a bit off. Anyway, on to the story.
An Empath's Burden
"I'll give you one last hint. It was a Titan, and it wasn't Starfire."
Raven's eyes widened. He couldn't mean....
Beastboy smiled at her, though he radiated nervousness. Raven stammered, unsure of what to say.
Raven's mind was a tornado of thoughts. He'd liked her? How could she have not noticed? She remembered that he was always nervous around her, and he tried too hard to make jokes sometimes... but that was because her powers were strange, he was afraid of her. Wasn't it? There's no way he could have a crush on her, no one could have a crush on her, she was a half-demon for Azar's sake! She tried to speak, but her mouth wasn't working right.
"Beast... Beastboy, you liked... I didn't know." Raven was surprised by her stammering. She was never so unsure of herself, it was a strange feeling.
The boy in front of her laughed nervously, and she sensed that he suddenly regretted telling her. He grinned, turning his head and looking at her sideways. "I... Yeah, I had a crush on... I had that crush before Terra. So yeah, she wasn't my first crush or anything."
Raven cleared her throat, focusing on putting her normal expressionless mask back on. She was only partially successful, her face still wore a look of surprise and confusion. "Beastboy... I'm not sure that-"
"FRIENDS! You have bought mangoes from the store! Many thanks! I had forgotten to put them on my list of shopping!" Both teenagers jumped as Starfire's bright and cheery voice rang out loudly in the quiet corridor. Raven turned towards her, angry at having been interrupted. Beastboy seemed happy, as if she served as a much needed diversion from the accidental confession. Starfire floated down the hallway to them, smiling brightly.
"Glad you like them, Star! But it was Raven's idea, I was too busy signing autographs." Beastboy smiled wide at the alien, putting his hands on his hips proudly, as if the one autograph had proven him a star.
Raven's eyes looked away from Starfire's. "I remembered that you enjoyed them."
Starfire lightly hugged Raven, much to her chagrin. She pulled away quickly, knowing that Raven didn't like hugs, but unable to help at small one. She smiled at the two teens, who still looked a little awkard. "Tell me, what were you two talking of? You seem embarassed!"
"Oh, I just... uh... nothing Starfire." Beastboy laughed nervously, looking to Raven for support.
"We were just talking about Beastboy's feelings." Raven wasn't directly lying, but knew Starfire would interpret it as a conversation about Terra.
"Beastboy, she is gone. You must understand that she may not be coming back." Starfire looked at Beastboy with sadness in her eyes.
Beastboy nodded. "I know Starfire. But what Raven meant when she said-"
"Some thing are better left unsaid, Beastboy. Many things are better left unsaid." Raven stepped backwards through her now-open door, and watched Beastboy's face as the door closed. She winced from his nearly painful regret and embarassment, but the feeling faded as Starfire offered to help him cook dinner. Raven heard him accept the help, and felt his feelings fade as he pushed them away, trying to look happy for Starfire. She turned, pressing the door lock and leaning her back against it, sliding along the door until she sat on the floor, her cloak underneath her.
"He had a crush on me? Why? What could he possibly see in me?" Raven stood, walking to the small desk and vanity she had. She ignored her meditative mirror for the moment, instead looking into the nonmagical one on her wall. She seemed so... plain. Short, purple hair, with no real styling to it. Grey skin, very non-human. Purple eyes... well, she'd always thought her eyes were pretty. She stood back from the mirror slightly, looking over her upper body, turning slightly to see her figure. She certainly wasn't unattractive, but she wasn't model material either. She sighed, feeling stupid for admiring her own body, and sat down on her bed, chin in her hands, staring forward in the dark room.
Beastboy didn't say that he liked her now. He had only said that he had entertained a crush on her before Terra had entered the picture. They had known Terra for nearly six months, though for only a month and a half of that had she been living in the Tower. Perhaps she had been a little cold, she could have waited to tell him that she wasn't interested. The look of defeat on his face when she had told him that it would have been better left unsaid... It pained her.
She sighed heavily. Why did it bother her so much that he was hurting? Granted, she could feel his pain through her powers, but he wasn't hurting at the moment, and so that shouldn't be it. Also, he was a friend, but she shouldn't feel so bad for rejecting him, it was the best thing to do. She couldn't date anyone, her abilities would never allow it. She'd accidentally kill the person long before it could blossom into anything more than light affection, if the stories about what love felt like were true. She rolled her eyes. Of course they were true, she'd been around people in love before, she knew exactly how it felt.
She closed her eyes, and saw Beastboy's face once again. The same look of pain and regret as he'd worn when she spoke last at her door. Raven opened her eyes again, angry at herself for hurting him, and still curious as to why it mattered. He'd be over it pretty quick, Beastboy always bounced back quickly.
Raven pulled her legs up, sitting once more in a lotus position on her bed, then began to levitate lightly. She focused, finding her calm center, burying her confusion and regret under her shell, safely far from the surface.
Raven was reading the book of Azar once again, rehashing a chapter on the more advacned meditation techniques. It seemed that the book changed whenever she reread it, so she made a point to look again at sections that had escaped her before. She was only vaguely aware of the people in the tower. Starfire was feeling cheery and experimental, no doubt cooking. Beastboy and Cyborg seemed to be overexcited and anxious, probably playing videogames. Robin was focused and intense, apparently training.
Raven put down the book of Azar, shaking her head. The meditation had helped, but hadn't pushed Beastboy from her mind completely. She still felt bad about rejecting him, even though she really had no choice. Even ignoring the fact that her powers would go haywire if she dated someone, she had never wanted to date Beastboy.
He was a good person, sure, and she did enjoy his enthusiasm, but she'd never considered dating him. He was too active, he tried to hard with his jokes, and he was far too excitable for her tastes. She sighed, standing up and walking towards her door. It was nearly time for dinner, so she felt she might as well join the group. The door opened and she jumped, seeing Beastboy standing right in front of her. He grinned.
"Uh.. Guess you were thinking the same thing. Dinner's ready." He pointed his thumb towards the common room.
Raven composed herself. "I thought you were playing videogames."
Beastboy raised an eyebrow. "I was, but Star said that dinner was ready, so I figured I'd come get you. Are you ok?"
Raven nodded slowly, trying to figure out why she was so nervous. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Thank you for retrieving me. Let's go." Raven began walking down the hall to the common room, Beastboy next to her.
A few seconds passed. Raven spoke up. "Beastboy... I'm sorry about what I said earlier."
He shook his head. "No no no. You were being honest, it's fine. I can take it."
Raven didn't say anything, she couldn't think of the right words.
"Besides, like I said, it was before Terra." Beastboy grinned, putting his hands behind his head and walking forward, looking at the ceiling.
Raven suddenly felt almost ill. He was right, he'd said he liked her before Terra. She'd thought about that before, but still it had seemed like he still had a crush on her. Raven didn't understand why she felt so... depressed all the sudden. She pushed it out of her mind as best she could, adn stopped in front of the common room door. She reached out to press the button to open it, but Beastboy hit it first.
"Gotta open the door for the lady." He grinned as she walked through the door.
Raven watched as everyone sat around the table. Starfire hadn't been cooking, not exactly. She had simply cut the mangoes into small peices, then soaked them in milk, presumably imitating peaches and cream. Beastboy had apparently gotten out of food preperation for the moment. Robin came into the room a moment after the table had been set, having responded to Starfire's message on his communicator.
Raven watched as Starfire floated over to Robin, excitedly telling him of her food. Robin was sweating heavily, and quite tired, but he still responded to her with optimism and sincere hope that the food would be better than her normal attempts. Raven could feel the love... no, not love. Perhaps affection was the better word for what the two Titans shared.
Raven looked away from them, poking at the strange fruit and milk soup with her spoon. She felt someone staring at her, and looking up, she saw Beastboy grinning from the other side of the table.
"Don't just play with it, it's actually pretty good!" He was trying too hard to cover up what had been said, to repair the awkwardness that lingered between them. She looked back at the food, then took a spoonfull of chopped mango and milk, tasting it experimentally.
Not bad. Not great, but not bad. A little too sweet for her taste. She could eat it though. She began absentmindedly eating, only present physically. Her mind was still running over the weirdness that her friendship with Beastboy had recently gone through. They had been distant friends before, teammates. She had offered to console him, and she felt that they had gotten a little closer. Close enough, apparently, that he had been willing to tell her of his old crush for her. Then, everything had fallen apart. She didn't know how to act around him anymore, she was afraid that if she did one thing, she'd be leading him to think she liked him back, but if she did another thing, she'd be hurting him. She sighed deeply, looking down into her empty bowl of mango soup.
Raven jumped a little when she felt hands on her shoulders. Starfire leaned over her, smiling. "You have eaten a dish that I have cooked! This is the first time you have done so! You thought it was perhaps good?"
Raven shrugged, her face once again blank. "It was fine. A little too sweet for my taste, but overall it was fine."
Starfire smiled. "It is good to try things that seem to be 'not your taste'. It often leads to surprises!"
Raven raised an eyebrow, watching as Starfire floated over to the kitchen, taking Raven's bowl and spoon, and washing them happily. Everyone else had been talking at eating, having a normal dinner, ignoring her quiet solitude. There was nothing uncommon about her being quiet. She stood, and began walking towards the door out of the common room. She stopped when she heard a voice.
"Hey! Raven, don't forget, tonight's movie night! Everyone's got to be here!" She turned to see Beastboy still grinning like an idiot. She sighed, turning back towards the door.
"Come get me when it's time." She walked through the door, hearing it hiss shut behind her. She walked down the hallway, thinking. Something was nagging her, tugging at her mind. She couldn't think what it could be, however. She smiled slightly, thinking of Beastboy. He was being very nice to her, not pulling too many jokes, not harassing her as much as normal. He was still trying too hard, but at least it was trying too hard to avoid harassing her, than trying too hard to make her laugh. Her smile faded. No matter how nice he was, he still was too random and goofy for her tastes.
"It is good to try things that seem to be 'not your taste'. It often leads to surprises!"
Starfire's words came back to her head. That's what had been bothering her. Dating Beastboy was something she wouldn't normally consider, but perhaps it was similar to Starfire's mango soup. Not perfect, but still good. She'd never find a perfect person, but honestly, Beastboy wasn't that bad a choice.
She stopped at her door, sighed, and opened it. She shouldn't simply settle for someone, though, it wasn't right to date Beastboy jsut because he was not that bad a choice. She walked over to her bed, and laid down, suddenly feeling tired from all the strange emotions. She forgot about movie night, instead deciding to lay down and go to sleep right now. She drifted away quickly, her mind still running in circles about Beastboy.
A/N: Raven is all unsure of her ability to date people, and unsure of her now-strained friendship with Beastboy. Not all that much happened this chapter, but not every chapter can be a huge revelation. Next chapter might be a day or two, because I have to move back up to college, and that takes most of the day. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and review happily!