Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, but it's a nice show anyway.
Review Responses:
Scorpio Serpent, Wanda Magick, Cradlerobber Speedo-kun, bam bam, Sabishii Onna no Ko, Pharoh of the Skies, Purplemusicgoddess, ShadowStar21, Jakked-Up: Sorry to address you all at once, but I didn't want a page of 'glad you liked it' repeated. Glad you liked it! I'll try to keep it updated as much as possible, and thanks for reviewing!
Change-of-Heart2: I feel bad for Raven too, she's saddled with powers she can't fully control. Ever wonder why Beastboy had such a crush on Terra?
Christina: The dream sequence was both fun and difficult to write. Dreams don't have to make sense, so it's hard to pull one off correctly. I think it turned out well. Glad you liked the story.
Kat097, UnOrthodox: Glad you like the way I keep everyone in character. It's a difficult task, but very important to me.
Regrem Erutaerc: Another long review from you! Thanks for sending lore towards me, it's good to know when I've screwed up, but I think I can defend my actions at the moment. It's another problem of comic continuity as opposed to animated series. In the comic books, Raven was trained to ignore all emtions, even love, because they could be used by Trigon to manipulate and control her. In the show, he is Rage, Anger, etc. In the comic he could have used her love to manipulate her into doing what he wanted, by threatening Beastboy or some other thing. As for Knowledge, I didn't use Knowledge in this story. I used Wisdom. I decided (with no real clues) that the browncloaked emotion in the back of the pack during "Nevermore" was wisdom, and used her. Knowledge is seperate from Wisdom. Thanks for the review, however, and keep sending possible screwups my way!
Hogwarts-Drama-Queen: It's the Book of Azar. Azar is the high priestess of Azerath, which is where Raven was born and raised.
Happy-Raven: Glad you liked the last two chapters. I like the idea of each emotion having their own little domain that they hang around in. It makes them more powerful without changing their relationship to Raven. Anyhow, you are not a bad reviewer, and please, keep reviewing!
MOOgoestheCHICKEN: Always nice to be the first one to review a review! As for the rhetorical computer question, my elementary school was somewhat moneyless, so we had no computers, and my keyboarding class was taught using life-size photos of keyboards. Yep, we 'typed' on photographs. Yeesh. Hope yours goes better!
K.Ra: Thanks! It's good that you can picture the scenes, means I'm doing a fair job at keeping everything fairly true to the show. I'm trying not to push the romance too quick, but I also don't want to draw it out over 30 chapters or anything, I can't write that many on the same fic. Thanks for reivewing.
The Big Fisch: Raven's dream freaked her out and tore her room up. She is gifted with tremendous power, and cursed with it as well. Poor girl. Glad you like it, here's the next chapter!
A/N: With the last chapter, this story passed "Life of the Titans" and "A Woman Scorned" for number of reviews, with half the chapters of either. Thanks to you all for reviewing, it's very encouraging and helpful to have so much feedback. On to the story now!
An Empath's Burden
Raven pressed the door switch and walked out of her room. Her mind was fatigued, moving so many pieces of garbage all the way to the ground from her room took quite a lot of effort. Perhaps Robin was right about needing training. She padded quietly down the hallway, the darkness and silence of the tower calming her, rejuvenating her.
It wasn't long, however, before she was standing at the door to the common room, and hearing the sounds of videogaming inside. She listened for a moment, but heard no taunts, or arguing, and decided that it must be only one player. Not only that, but since Robin was training, and Cyborg was working on the car, it had to be Beastboy. The one person she was hoping to avoid for the moment.
Still, she needed tea to help her relax, and to put her to sleep after the strange events of the day. Perhaps he was still angry at her for forcing him out of her room, and so would not speak to her. She pressed the switch and stepped through the door, and it hissed closed behind her as she walked across the room, towards the kitchen. Beastboy's green hair was visible over the couch cushions, but he didn't move or make any acknowledgement of her prescence.
Raven reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small cup, and a single-serving teabag, noticing that it was the last one. She'd forgotten to pick up tea at the grocery store. How irritating. She placed the cup and teabag onthe counter, then turned on the stove, placing a pot with water there. It would be a few minutes before it was warm enough.
She leaned against the counter, watching with no interest as Beastboy drove around a futuristic racing track on his videogame. He seemed to be doing poorly, as if his mind just wasn't on the game. Raven extended her power, lightly touching his mind, enough to pick up that he was saddened by something, though not enough for her to detect without effort. She sighed slightly, and Beastboy paused the game.
Beastboy turned towards her, a sad look on his normally cheery face. "You're down too?"
Raven nodded slowly, not wanting to lie, but truthfully unsure how she felt underneath all the repression.
He rested his chin on the back of the couch, sighing slightly as well. "Yeah, I know that saying what I said was for the best, but still... feels like I'm losing something, I guess."
Raven didn't move, still just watching him from the darkness of her hood. "You didn't lose a friend, if that was your worry."
Beastboy grinned, despite his sadness that Raven still detected. "Hey, c'mon! If something like that could ruin a long friendship, then I'm not sure we were friends to begin with. I just mean... I don't know. Just feels like something is wrong, when I... rejected you."
Raven turned away, staring at the pot of water on the stove. "But you did reject me."
She could feel Beastboy's regret. Her voice had shown more sadness than she knew she even felt, and it felt like she'd broken his heart by speaking that way.
"Raven, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I don't hate you or anything, it's just that dating someone else so soon after Terra would be like... I don't know, but it's not a good thing to do!" Beastboy stood, and began walking around the couch, towards the kitchen.
Raven continued staring into the water. He was feeling regret, pity, shame, all negative emotions. He wasn't feeling affection at all. She turned towards him as he got closer to the kitchen.
"C'mon, Raven. You know I'm still your friend, and I still want to hang out, right?" Beastboy forced a weak smile, his tooth still sticking out. Raven couldn't help but smile at the sight, and then inwardly admonish herself for feeling.
"Beastboy, I know. I just... I've never thought of anyone this way before. Getting rejected just felt strange. I will be fine in time." Raven's voice was low and even, not showing the strange sadness that she felt inside, as she spoke of the rejection to him.
Beastboy took another few steps towards her standing in front of her with a serious look. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, Raven. You're really important to me."
Raven looked towards him with surprise. Important? "How am I important to you? As a teammate? As a friend?"
Beastboy seemed to be struggling with his wording for a moment, then spoke up, his voice uncertain and wavering. "I... I guess that your opinion really matters to me. Like, your opinion on me, I mean. Robin only talks about training and fighting, and I already know how I am with that. Starfire can't really talk about people as anything but good, she's so trusting. Cy is a friend, but he's also a guy, and we don't talk about how I am. But you..."
A second passed as Beastboy thought.
"You see me as I am. You know how I'm feeling, you know why I do what I do, you are just... I feel like if you think I am a good person, then I really am."
Raven stood silent, shocked. He really cared about her thoughts? No one cared about how she felt. Starfire only cared when it was obvious she was depressed, and had given up too much worry after realized that she almost always looked depressed. Robin, as Beastboy had pointed out, only thought about training and crimefighting, and only thought of everyone else as their ability to fight, with the possible exclusion of Starfire. Cyborg was a nice person, a good friend and a powerful fighter, but Beastboy was right, Cyborg wasn't the type to discuss feelings with him.
"You... You care about my impression of you? I didn't realize it was so important to you."
Beastboy turned away slightly, embarassed to look into her eyes. They both stared at the pot of water for a moment. "Yeah. You're the most honest person here."
Raven fought the regret and anger growing inside her. The anger was at herself, for having been so cold to Beastboy when he'd rejected her. The regret was for the same thing. How could she have been so cruel? She composed herself as best she could, then spoke.
"Beastboy, I'm sorry for getting angry at you. You are still welcome in my room whenever you need to talk."
The green boy grinned, looking at her again. "Thanks! I was afraid that you hated me now or something. The way you sounded when you told me to get out... It was freaky, you know?"
Raven looked at him, still trying to fight the regret inside her. She had meant to suppress her emotions, not deaden them. Her voice had been so cold that it had worried him. She felt like such an awful person.
Beastboy still grinned at her. "It's just... We'd been talking a lot, and I thought we'd been getting closer, but when you said that... It felt like the old days, before Terra, before your mirror... back when you honestly didn't like me at all. It just scared me I guess... Raven? Are you ok?"
Raven felt Beastboy's shock at the tear that betrayed her feelings. She hadn't been able to fight it, and it had escaped her eye, running slowly and clearly down her cheek. She closed her eyes, turning away from him. She felt two more tears escape, running trails down her cheeks and falling from her chin. Her shoulders suddenly shook, as a sob ran through her body. She felt so bad for what she had done, but she shouldn't... she had been angry, why was she so sad?
She tensed slightly as she felt Beastboy's uncertain hands on her waist, gently pulling as if to turn her. She moved, turning to face him, with tears still rolling down her face. The look in his eyes was incredible. He was so concerned, and so worried for her. No one had ever looked at her that way, not even her own mother, back in Azerath. No one in Azerath had been allowed to show any concern or love for her.
She allowed Beastboy to hold her, as he pulled her close to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, as her body continued to be wracked with sobs. She tried vainly to calm herself, feeling her powers breaking through the shell of meditation and focus she had spent most the of the day building. She couldn't calm down, all of her troubles, her entire life's troubles, seemed to be pouring out through her tears and sobs. This was the first time anyone had allowed her to cry with them, or held her like this.
Raven's eyes were squeezed shut and she cried on Beastboy's shoulder, but still she winced when she heard the teacup slide off the counter and shatter on the floor. Her powers were being unleashed, but she couldn't... she couldn't bring herself to let go of Beastboy. She felt him jump as the cupboard door opened and then slammed. Suddenly, she felt him pick her up lightly, and begin carrying her away from the kitchen, towards the door to the hallway.
She couldn't worry about where he was taking her, as the lights in the hallway burst from her power. She still just gripped him, her face buried in his neck, her arms around his body, holding tightly. She felt so secure in his arms, as he carried her down the hall. She heard a door hiss open, and opened her eyes just enough to see the purple and black paint on the walls, it was her room.
She was carried over to her bed, and felt Beastboy sit, allowing his arms to rest and also her to sit on his lap, instead of standing next to him. She was no longer crying, but still fighting to suppress her emotions. Everything was so new. The feeling of security, the feeling of happiness, of freedom, it was all so new. She couldn't let go.
It was only a few minutes, but it seemed to last forever, and yet not long enough. Finally, Raven won the battle against her emotions, forcing them to be calm enough to allow her to speak.
"Thank you, Beastboy. I don't know why I did that." Her voice was calm and even, but still warm and caring, not cold as it had been before.
Beastboy smiled, holding her in his lap, but loosening his arms enough that she could look back at him. "Hey, it's ok. Sometimes everyone needs a shoulder to cry on."
Raven looked around at her empty room, the only objects left were her damaged bed, the Book of Azar, and the mirror. "Why did you bring me here?"
She sensed sudden nervousness from Beastboy, as he realized that bringing a girl to her room could be taken the wrong way. "Um, I guess... I just figured that since you blew up everything in here already, that it was safer here than in the kitchen, with a pot of boiling water right beside us."
Raven's expression didn't change, though she was happy that he had thought to bring her back here. Beastboy was smarter than he let on. She pulled her arms away from his neck, and moved, sitting next to him on the bed, instead of in his lap. Beastboy put his hands on the bed, on either side, not sure what else to do with them. They sat there for a moment, awkward after the sudden show of emotion.
"So... uh... What happens now?" Beastboy spoke first, causing Raven to jump slightly at the broken silence.
"I'm not sure. I feel... lighter now. Is this how other people feel when they cry?" Raven's empathy had never picked up on this feeling. It wasn't an emotion in the true sense of the word, simply the feeling of all her other emotions pouring out, of her mind and soul being clear of all the years of bottled sadness and lonliness.
Beastboy nodded. "Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Wait... You've never cried?"
Raven looked down at the carpet. "I was taught to suppress all my emotions, Beastboy. Arella, my mother, was not even allowed to see me for most of my life. Any emotion I feel can be used against me by Trigon, and if I was allowed to know that others cared for me, then he would have people to threaten. No one has ever told me... that they cared about anything I said or did."
Beastboy's shock and sympathy radiated through her. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, as she felt the information being turned over in his mind. "Your whole life, no one has ever told you that they cared?"
Raven shook her head. She was still staring at the carpet.
She felt his arms move around her again, this time a simple hug. She would normally hate it, but for some reason... it was ok. She hugged him back, awkwardly. Receiving hugs was rare enough, but giving them was unheard of. She almost didn't know how to do it. He released her a moment later. When she looked at him, he was smiling.
"Well, we both have some stuff to work through, right?" His grin was infectious, but her face remained calm. "If you will keep listening to me about Terra, then I'll be here whenever you need me."
Raven smiled, Wisdom's advice running through her head. Someone to lean on when times were bad, and someone to console when they needed her. Someone to actually need her.
"Ok Beastboy. I will keep that in mind. Thank you again, for holding me like that. It was... sweet." Raven tried to fight the creeping blush in her cheeks, but it showed up anyway.
Beastboy smiled, happy that she was happy with him. "No problem. I know after that you probably need to meditate, and it's the middle of the night, so I'm going to go to my room. Will you be ok?"
Raven nodded, the blush fading as she felt more comfortable. "Yes. Go and sleep, I will see you tomorrow."
He seemed to hesitate a moment, as if deciding whether or not to do something. She could feel nervousness from him, but couldn't decipher why. Suddenly, he leaned over and pressed his lips to her cheek, then pulled away, smiling.
"Night Raven." He stood quickly, walking towards the door. He opened it, and stood in the threshold, looking back at the stunned girl.
"Goodnight, Beastboy." Her voice was small and nervous, but something in it warmed his heart. He smiled once more, then left the room.
Raven's fingers crept towards the tingling spot on her cheek, where his lips had touched. Why did it feel so strange? She didn't touch the spot, letting the feeling of his lips remain on her skin. She sighed slightly, happily. Things were strange lately, she had too many unusual emotions to deal with.
She laid down in her bed, trying to ignore the one side that was so badly destroyed. The crying had calmed her, and she was now simply exhausted. Her eyes closed quickly, her mind clam and empty as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
A/N: A shorter chapter than the last one, to be certain, but still nice, I think. Again, I'm taking a page from the comic book here, about Raven's life in Azerath before coming to Earth. The way the show and the comic have different characters makes mixing them difficult, but I like having characters with backstories beyond 'Final Exam' (First Episode). Regardless, Thanks for reading,a nd I hope you enjoyed it. Please review, the next chapter will be up in a day or two, time and internet connectivity providing.
Review Responses:
Scorpio Serpent, Wanda Magick, Cradlerobber Speedo-kun, bam bam, Sabishii Onna no Ko, Pharoh of the Skies, Purplemusicgoddess, ShadowStar21, Jakked-Up: Sorry to address you all at once, but I didn't want a page of 'glad you liked it' repeated. Glad you liked it! I'll try to keep it updated as much as possible, and thanks for reviewing!
Change-of-Heart2: I feel bad for Raven too, she's saddled with powers she can't fully control. Ever wonder why Beastboy had such a crush on Terra?
Christina: The dream sequence was both fun and difficult to write. Dreams don't have to make sense, so it's hard to pull one off correctly. I think it turned out well. Glad you liked the story.
Kat097, UnOrthodox: Glad you like the way I keep everyone in character. It's a difficult task, but very important to me.
Regrem Erutaerc: Another long review from you! Thanks for sending lore towards me, it's good to know when I've screwed up, but I think I can defend my actions at the moment. It's another problem of comic continuity as opposed to animated series. In the comic books, Raven was trained to ignore all emtions, even love, because they could be used by Trigon to manipulate and control her. In the show, he is Rage, Anger, etc. In the comic he could have used her love to manipulate her into doing what he wanted, by threatening Beastboy or some other thing. As for Knowledge, I didn't use Knowledge in this story. I used Wisdom. I decided (with no real clues) that the browncloaked emotion in the back of the pack during "Nevermore" was wisdom, and used her. Knowledge is seperate from Wisdom. Thanks for the review, however, and keep sending possible screwups my way!
Hogwarts-Drama-Queen: It's the Book of Azar. Azar is the high priestess of Azerath, which is where Raven was born and raised.
Happy-Raven: Glad you liked the last two chapters. I like the idea of each emotion having their own little domain that they hang around in. It makes them more powerful without changing their relationship to Raven. Anyhow, you are not a bad reviewer, and please, keep reviewing!
MOOgoestheCHICKEN: Always nice to be the first one to review a review! As for the rhetorical computer question, my elementary school was somewhat moneyless, so we had no computers, and my keyboarding class was taught using life-size photos of keyboards. Yep, we 'typed' on photographs. Yeesh. Hope yours goes better!
K.Ra: Thanks! It's good that you can picture the scenes, means I'm doing a fair job at keeping everything fairly true to the show. I'm trying not to push the romance too quick, but I also don't want to draw it out over 30 chapters or anything, I can't write that many on the same fic. Thanks for reivewing.
The Big Fisch: Raven's dream freaked her out and tore her room up. She is gifted with tremendous power, and cursed with it as well. Poor girl. Glad you like it, here's the next chapter!
A/N: With the last chapter, this story passed "Life of the Titans" and "A Woman Scorned" for number of reviews, with half the chapters of either. Thanks to you all for reviewing, it's very encouraging and helpful to have so much feedback. On to the story now!
An Empath's Burden
Raven pressed the door switch and walked out of her room. Her mind was fatigued, moving so many pieces of garbage all the way to the ground from her room took quite a lot of effort. Perhaps Robin was right about needing training. She padded quietly down the hallway, the darkness and silence of the tower calming her, rejuvenating her.
It wasn't long, however, before she was standing at the door to the common room, and hearing the sounds of videogaming inside. She listened for a moment, but heard no taunts, or arguing, and decided that it must be only one player. Not only that, but since Robin was training, and Cyborg was working on the car, it had to be Beastboy. The one person she was hoping to avoid for the moment.
Still, she needed tea to help her relax, and to put her to sleep after the strange events of the day. Perhaps he was still angry at her for forcing him out of her room, and so would not speak to her. She pressed the switch and stepped through the door, and it hissed closed behind her as she walked across the room, towards the kitchen. Beastboy's green hair was visible over the couch cushions, but he didn't move or make any acknowledgement of her prescence.
Raven reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small cup, and a single-serving teabag, noticing that it was the last one. She'd forgotten to pick up tea at the grocery store. How irritating. She placed the cup and teabag onthe counter, then turned on the stove, placing a pot with water there. It would be a few minutes before it was warm enough.
She leaned against the counter, watching with no interest as Beastboy drove around a futuristic racing track on his videogame. He seemed to be doing poorly, as if his mind just wasn't on the game. Raven extended her power, lightly touching his mind, enough to pick up that he was saddened by something, though not enough for her to detect without effort. She sighed slightly, and Beastboy paused the game.
Beastboy turned towards her, a sad look on his normally cheery face. "You're down too?"
Raven nodded slowly, not wanting to lie, but truthfully unsure how she felt underneath all the repression.
He rested his chin on the back of the couch, sighing slightly as well. "Yeah, I know that saying what I said was for the best, but still... feels like I'm losing something, I guess."
Raven didn't move, still just watching him from the darkness of her hood. "You didn't lose a friend, if that was your worry."
Beastboy grinned, despite his sadness that Raven still detected. "Hey, c'mon! If something like that could ruin a long friendship, then I'm not sure we were friends to begin with. I just mean... I don't know. Just feels like something is wrong, when I... rejected you."
Raven turned away, staring at the pot of water on the stove. "But you did reject me."
She could feel Beastboy's regret. Her voice had shown more sadness than she knew she even felt, and it felt like she'd broken his heart by speaking that way.
"Raven, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I don't hate you or anything, it's just that dating someone else so soon after Terra would be like... I don't know, but it's not a good thing to do!" Beastboy stood, and began walking around the couch, towards the kitchen.
Raven continued staring into the water. He was feeling regret, pity, shame, all negative emotions. He wasn't feeling affection at all. She turned towards him as he got closer to the kitchen.
"C'mon, Raven. You know I'm still your friend, and I still want to hang out, right?" Beastboy forced a weak smile, his tooth still sticking out. Raven couldn't help but smile at the sight, and then inwardly admonish herself for feeling.
"Beastboy, I know. I just... I've never thought of anyone this way before. Getting rejected just felt strange. I will be fine in time." Raven's voice was low and even, not showing the strange sadness that she felt inside, as she spoke of the rejection to him.
Beastboy took another few steps towards her standing in front of her with a serious look. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, Raven. You're really important to me."
Raven looked towards him with surprise. Important? "How am I important to you? As a teammate? As a friend?"
Beastboy seemed to be struggling with his wording for a moment, then spoke up, his voice uncertain and wavering. "I... I guess that your opinion really matters to me. Like, your opinion on me, I mean. Robin only talks about training and fighting, and I already know how I am with that. Starfire can't really talk about people as anything but good, she's so trusting. Cy is a friend, but he's also a guy, and we don't talk about how I am. But you..."
A second passed as Beastboy thought.
"You see me as I am. You know how I'm feeling, you know why I do what I do, you are just... I feel like if you think I am a good person, then I really am."
Raven stood silent, shocked. He really cared about her thoughts? No one cared about how she felt. Starfire only cared when it was obvious she was depressed, and had given up too much worry after realized that she almost always looked depressed. Robin, as Beastboy had pointed out, only thought about training and crimefighting, and only thought of everyone else as their ability to fight, with the possible exclusion of Starfire. Cyborg was a nice person, a good friend and a powerful fighter, but Beastboy was right, Cyborg wasn't the type to discuss feelings with him.
"You... You care about my impression of you? I didn't realize it was so important to you."
Beastboy turned away slightly, embarassed to look into her eyes. They both stared at the pot of water for a moment. "Yeah. You're the most honest person here."
Raven fought the regret and anger growing inside her. The anger was at herself, for having been so cold to Beastboy when he'd rejected her. The regret was for the same thing. How could she have been so cruel? She composed herself as best she could, then spoke.
"Beastboy, I'm sorry for getting angry at you. You are still welcome in my room whenever you need to talk."
The green boy grinned, looking at her again. "Thanks! I was afraid that you hated me now or something. The way you sounded when you told me to get out... It was freaky, you know?"
Raven looked at him, still trying to fight the regret inside her. She had meant to suppress her emotions, not deaden them. Her voice had been so cold that it had worried him. She felt like such an awful person.
Beastboy still grinned at her. "It's just... We'd been talking a lot, and I thought we'd been getting closer, but when you said that... It felt like the old days, before Terra, before your mirror... back when you honestly didn't like me at all. It just scared me I guess... Raven? Are you ok?"
Raven felt Beastboy's shock at the tear that betrayed her feelings. She hadn't been able to fight it, and it had escaped her eye, running slowly and clearly down her cheek. She closed her eyes, turning away from him. She felt two more tears escape, running trails down her cheeks and falling from her chin. Her shoulders suddenly shook, as a sob ran through her body. She felt so bad for what she had done, but she shouldn't... she had been angry, why was she so sad?
She tensed slightly as she felt Beastboy's uncertain hands on her waist, gently pulling as if to turn her. She moved, turning to face him, with tears still rolling down her face. The look in his eyes was incredible. He was so concerned, and so worried for her. No one had ever looked at her that way, not even her own mother, back in Azerath. No one in Azerath had been allowed to show any concern or love for her.
She allowed Beastboy to hold her, as he pulled her close to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, as her body continued to be wracked with sobs. She tried vainly to calm herself, feeling her powers breaking through the shell of meditation and focus she had spent most the of the day building. She couldn't calm down, all of her troubles, her entire life's troubles, seemed to be pouring out through her tears and sobs. This was the first time anyone had allowed her to cry with them, or held her like this.
Raven's eyes were squeezed shut and she cried on Beastboy's shoulder, but still she winced when she heard the teacup slide off the counter and shatter on the floor. Her powers were being unleashed, but she couldn't... she couldn't bring herself to let go of Beastboy. She felt him jump as the cupboard door opened and then slammed. Suddenly, she felt him pick her up lightly, and begin carrying her away from the kitchen, towards the door to the hallway.
She couldn't worry about where he was taking her, as the lights in the hallway burst from her power. She still just gripped him, her face buried in his neck, her arms around his body, holding tightly. She felt so secure in his arms, as he carried her down the hall. She heard a door hiss open, and opened her eyes just enough to see the purple and black paint on the walls, it was her room.
She was carried over to her bed, and felt Beastboy sit, allowing his arms to rest and also her to sit on his lap, instead of standing next to him. She was no longer crying, but still fighting to suppress her emotions. Everything was so new. The feeling of security, the feeling of happiness, of freedom, it was all so new. She couldn't let go.
It was only a few minutes, but it seemed to last forever, and yet not long enough. Finally, Raven won the battle against her emotions, forcing them to be calm enough to allow her to speak.
"Thank you, Beastboy. I don't know why I did that." Her voice was calm and even, but still warm and caring, not cold as it had been before.
Beastboy smiled, holding her in his lap, but loosening his arms enough that she could look back at him. "Hey, it's ok. Sometimes everyone needs a shoulder to cry on."
Raven looked around at her empty room, the only objects left were her damaged bed, the Book of Azar, and the mirror. "Why did you bring me here?"
She sensed sudden nervousness from Beastboy, as he realized that bringing a girl to her room could be taken the wrong way. "Um, I guess... I just figured that since you blew up everything in here already, that it was safer here than in the kitchen, with a pot of boiling water right beside us."
Raven's expression didn't change, though she was happy that he had thought to bring her back here. Beastboy was smarter than he let on. She pulled her arms away from his neck, and moved, sitting next to him on the bed, instead of in his lap. Beastboy put his hands on the bed, on either side, not sure what else to do with them. They sat there for a moment, awkward after the sudden show of emotion.
"So... uh... What happens now?" Beastboy spoke first, causing Raven to jump slightly at the broken silence.
"I'm not sure. I feel... lighter now. Is this how other people feel when they cry?" Raven's empathy had never picked up on this feeling. It wasn't an emotion in the true sense of the word, simply the feeling of all her other emotions pouring out, of her mind and soul being clear of all the years of bottled sadness and lonliness.
Beastboy nodded. "Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Wait... You've never cried?"
Raven looked down at the carpet. "I was taught to suppress all my emotions, Beastboy. Arella, my mother, was not even allowed to see me for most of my life. Any emotion I feel can be used against me by Trigon, and if I was allowed to know that others cared for me, then he would have people to threaten. No one has ever told me... that they cared about anything I said or did."
Beastboy's shock and sympathy radiated through her. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, as she felt the information being turned over in his mind. "Your whole life, no one has ever told you that they cared?"
Raven shook her head. She was still staring at the carpet.
She felt his arms move around her again, this time a simple hug. She would normally hate it, but for some reason... it was ok. She hugged him back, awkwardly. Receiving hugs was rare enough, but giving them was unheard of. She almost didn't know how to do it. He released her a moment later. When she looked at him, he was smiling.
"Well, we both have some stuff to work through, right?" His grin was infectious, but her face remained calm. "If you will keep listening to me about Terra, then I'll be here whenever you need me."
Raven smiled, Wisdom's advice running through her head. Someone to lean on when times were bad, and someone to console when they needed her. Someone to actually need her.
"Ok Beastboy. I will keep that in mind. Thank you again, for holding me like that. It was... sweet." Raven tried to fight the creeping blush in her cheeks, but it showed up anyway.
Beastboy smiled, happy that she was happy with him. "No problem. I know after that you probably need to meditate, and it's the middle of the night, so I'm going to go to my room. Will you be ok?"
Raven nodded, the blush fading as she felt more comfortable. "Yes. Go and sleep, I will see you tomorrow."
He seemed to hesitate a moment, as if deciding whether or not to do something. She could feel nervousness from him, but couldn't decipher why. Suddenly, he leaned over and pressed his lips to her cheek, then pulled away, smiling.
"Night Raven." He stood quickly, walking towards the door. He opened it, and stood in the threshold, looking back at the stunned girl.
"Goodnight, Beastboy." Her voice was small and nervous, but something in it warmed his heart. He smiled once more, then left the room.
Raven's fingers crept towards the tingling spot on her cheek, where his lips had touched. Why did it feel so strange? She didn't touch the spot, letting the feeling of his lips remain on her skin. She sighed slightly, happily. Things were strange lately, she had too many unusual emotions to deal with.
She laid down in her bed, trying to ignore the one side that was so badly destroyed. The crying had calmed her, and she was now simply exhausted. Her eyes closed quickly, her mind clam and empty as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
A/N: A shorter chapter than the last one, to be certain, but still nice, I think. Again, I'm taking a page from the comic book here, about Raven's life in Azerath before coming to Earth. The way the show and the comic have different characters makes mixing them difficult, but I like having characters with backstories beyond 'Final Exam' (First Episode). Regardless, Thanks for reading,a nd I hope you enjoyed it. Please review, the next chapter will be up in a day or two, time and internet connectivity providing.