Laurel: This is exciting isn't it! Meep! No delays today… Neko has gone off somewhere… (whispers) probably smooching with you-know-who! [note: if you do not understand that, you'll have to wait for the 16th chapter of the Bishonen Phenomena… I am so sick-minded…]
Disclaimer: I do NOT own… Star Trek, anomalies, cheese sandwich, the ocean, blowing things up
Claimer: I DO own… the claimer (SQUEE!), the anomalous cheese sandwich anomaly, Hen-Neko.
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Chapter Three - Faeries of Faeria
(in the captain's "ready room" [ready for what, you ask? Uh… shut up!] Picard is sitting at his desk. In his hands are two figurines of the Enterprise, which he is now playing with.)
Picard: (zooms one of the Enterprise models around) wheeeeeee! (crashes the two together and simulates laser sounds) pchoo! Die die!
(suddenly Riker wrenches open the door again, which had been fixed. Picard freezes, trying to hide the models behind his back)
Riker: uh…
Picard: You didn't see anything. (glares)
Riker: No, of course not… (grins) Sir, the cheese sandwich has request we 'ready ourselves' for the Ridiculous Inter-Dimensional Space-Time Leap.
Picard: Then we should do that.
Riker: okay, I'll get started. (wrenches open the door to leave)
Picard: (looks around before pulling out the Enterprise models again) pchoo p-kow! Rowr! Vvvvrrrr…
(Worf enters, pausing as the Captain throws the models behind his back again)
Picard: Can't I EVER get any privacy!?
Worf: Sir, I think we should attempt to destroy the Cheese Sandwich.
Picard: (rolls his eyes) I know.
Worf: Why are we just sitting here if it's going to-
Picard: You're making no sense… maybe you have the flu… (goes to replicate a cold cloth) Do you have a fever?
Worf: (angry) I do NOT have the flu!! Klingons do NOT succumb to viruses! (is interrupted by a cold cloth smacked on his forehead)
Picard: Ya-huh… I know. (looks skeptical)
Worf: ARG! I hate you people!!! (storms out of the room)
Picard: (looks smug) Ah… (returns to his desk to retrieve the models)
(suddenly, Geordi LaForge enters with several tricorders)
LaForge: Sir, I think you should look at this.
Picard: (stands up suddenly with the models in hand) Oh, um… how did these get here? (puts them on his desk and sits) Let's see. (takes a tricorder and looks it over) What about it?
LaForge: Watch… (takes one and points it at a relic on Picard's desk. The object becomes a block of cheese)
Picard: (gasps) My god… that was a priceless artefact!
LaForge: (ignores him) It became cheese. It does that with all of them and even with the replicators and phasers…
Picard: (picks up the cheese and takes a huge bite) Hm… Cheddar… interesting.
LaForge: Yes… wait… let me test something… (takes off his visor) I'M BLIND! (runs around screaming and bumping into things) AHHH!
Picard: Geordi! You were always blind! (shakes his head)
LaForge: No! It was the cheese!! THE CHEEEESE!!! (runs from the room)
Picard: (sighs and shakes his head) Captain's Log supplementary… The Cheese Sandwich is planning on sending the Enterprise back in time. There is nothing to do but wait and hope tha-
(suddenly a puff of Indigo smoke appears and a fifteen year old girl with blonde hair and blue-green eyes, carrying a laptop, appears in it's place. Laurel looks around, confused.)
Girl: Wait… this isn't Disneyland!
Picard: (stares at her) WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!? (flings himself at the ground again)
Laurel: (turns around) Oh! Uh… I'm a… um… FAERIE! (nods) From the planet… Faeria. (nods again, this time with a wide grin)
Picard: Oh… okay. (gets up and brushes himself off) So where's my gold?
Laurel: That's leprechauns, sir… (looks exasperated)
Picard: Really?
Laurel: Really.
Picard: Oh… (looks disappointed as he takes out a piece of paper) Faeries equal… no gold… (writes it on the paper and sighs) Well, what do you have?
Laurel: Uh… magical Faery dust that puts you to sleep! (knocks him out with the block of cheese)
Picard: Mommy!! (falls on the ground, apparently knocked out)
Laurel: (sighs with relief) That was close… (to the readers) let's pretend this didn't happen! (in a puff of indigo smoke, Laurel disappears, apparently to Disneyland)
Picard: (wakes up) Owie… my head… damn those Faeries!!! This means war! WAAAAR!!! (screams in a war-like fashion and runs from the room)
(meanwhile, on the bridge)
Riker: (talking to Troi) And then I totally kicked his butt!
Troi: Ooooooo! (swoons)
Picard: (enters) Mr. Data! Hail the Cheese Sandwich!
Data: Done sir.
Cheese Sandwich: (is in the shower when the screen turns on) AHH! Holy mozzarella!
Picard: Cheese Sandwich, I call a temporary truce. We need you to defeat the Faeries of Faeria!
Cheese Sandwich: (glares… if that's possible) Ah, so you have been overpowered by their magical Faery dust as well I see?
Picard: We must defeat them!
Cheese Sandwich: I suppose I'll help…
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Will Laurel fix this dilemma!? Will the Cheese Sandwich actually help them? Did Riker ever actually 'kick his butt'? Find out next time on… The Anomalous Cheese Sandwich Anomaly!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own… Star Trek, anomalies, cheese sandwich, the ocean, blowing things up
Claimer: I DO own… the claimer (SQUEE!), the anomalous cheese sandwich anomaly, Hen-Neko.
-------------------------------
Chapter Three - Faeries of Faeria
(in the captain's "ready room" [ready for what, you ask? Uh… shut up!] Picard is sitting at his desk. In his hands are two figurines of the Enterprise, which he is now playing with.)
Picard: (zooms one of the Enterprise models around) wheeeeeee! (crashes the two together and simulates laser sounds) pchoo! Die die!
(suddenly Riker wrenches open the door again, which had been fixed. Picard freezes, trying to hide the models behind his back)
Riker: uh…
Picard: You didn't see anything. (glares)
Riker: No, of course not… (grins) Sir, the cheese sandwich has request we 'ready ourselves' for the Ridiculous Inter-Dimensional Space-Time Leap.
Picard: Then we should do that.
Riker: okay, I'll get started. (wrenches open the door to leave)
Picard: (looks around before pulling out the Enterprise models again) pchoo p-kow! Rowr! Vvvvrrrr…
(Worf enters, pausing as the Captain throws the models behind his back again)
Picard: Can't I EVER get any privacy!?
Worf: Sir, I think we should attempt to destroy the Cheese Sandwich.
Picard: (rolls his eyes) I know.
Worf: Why are we just sitting here if it's going to-
Picard: You're making no sense… maybe you have the flu… (goes to replicate a cold cloth) Do you have a fever?
Worf: (angry) I do NOT have the flu!! Klingons do NOT succumb to viruses! (is interrupted by a cold cloth smacked on his forehead)
Picard: Ya-huh… I know. (looks skeptical)
Worf: ARG! I hate you people!!! (storms out of the room)
Picard: (looks smug) Ah… (returns to his desk to retrieve the models)
(suddenly, Geordi LaForge enters with several tricorders)
LaForge: Sir, I think you should look at this.
Picard: (stands up suddenly with the models in hand) Oh, um… how did these get here? (puts them on his desk and sits) Let's see. (takes a tricorder and looks it over) What about it?
LaForge: Watch… (takes one and points it at a relic on Picard's desk. The object becomes a block of cheese)
Picard: (gasps) My god… that was a priceless artefact!
LaForge: (ignores him) It became cheese. It does that with all of them and even with the replicators and phasers…
Picard: (picks up the cheese and takes a huge bite) Hm… Cheddar… interesting.
LaForge: Yes… wait… let me test something… (takes off his visor) I'M BLIND! (runs around screaming and bumping into things) AHHH!
Picard: Geordi! You were always blind! (shakes his head)
LaForge: No! It was the cheese!! THE CHEEEESE!!! (runs from the room)
Picard: (sighs and shakes his head) Captain's Log supplementary… The Cheese Sandwich is planning on sending the Enterprise back in time. There is nothing to do but wait and hope tha-
(suddenly a puff of Indigo smoke appears and a fifteen year old girl with blonde hair and blue-green eyes, carrying a laptop, appears in it's place. Laurel looks around, confused.)
Girl: Wait… this isn't Disneyland!
Picard: (stares at her) WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!? (flings himself at the ground again)
Laurel: (turns around) Oh! Uh… I'm a… um… FAERIE! (nods) From the planet… Faeria. (nods again, this time with a wide grin)
Picard: Oh… okay. (gets up and brushes himself off) So where's my gold?
Laurel: That's leprechauns, sir… (looks exasperated)
Picard: Really?
Laurel: Really.
Picard: Oh… (looks disappointed as he takes out a piece of paper) Faeries equal… no gold… (writes it on the paper and sighs) Well, what do you have?
Laurel: Uh… magical Faery dust that puts you to sleep! (knocks him out with the block of cheese)
Picard: Mommy!! (falls on the ground, apparently knocked out)
Laurel: (sighs with relief) That was close… (to the readers) let's pretend this didn't happen! (in a puff of indigo smoke, Laurel disappears, apparently to Disneyland)
Picard: (wakes up) Owie… my head… damn those Faeries!!! This means war! WAAAAR!!! (screams in a war-like fashion and runs from the room)
(meanwhile, on the bridge)
Riker: (talking to Troi) And then I totally kicked his butt!
Troi: Ooooooo! (swoons)
Picard: (enters) Mr. Data! Hail the Cheese Sandwich!
Data: Done sir.
Cheese Sandwich: (is in the shower when the screen turns on) AHH! Holy mozzarella!
Picard: Cheese Sandwich, I call a temporary truce. We need you to defeat the Faeries of Faeria!
Cheese Sandwich: (glares… if that's possible) Ah, so you have been overpowered by their magical Faery dust as well I see?
Picard: We must defeat them!
Cheese Sandwich: I suppose I'll help…
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Will Laurel fix this dilemma!? Will the Cheese Sandwich actually help them? Did Riker ever actually 'kick his butt'? Find out next time on… The Anomalous Cheese Sandwich Anomaly!