(back in the round room with no walls… )
Laurel: This part is gonna suck because I have no attention span to write in properly. So… shut up. (grins)
Disclaimer: I do NOT own… Star Trek, it's various characters, a life, breadsticks, cheese, Faeries, blindness (sigh)
Claimer: I DO own… the claimer, Hen-Neko, the anomalous cheese sandwich anomaly, the right to completely mess up any fictional character's life, ducks, Faeria
Chapter Six - Dun dun DUN!
(The ship is still attempting to escape after the initial attack on the Faeries. On the bridge everyone is running around screaming and flailing their arms. The Faeries' ships are very fast and they are gradually catching up.)
Picard: AHHHHHHH!!! Go to maximum warp!
Nameless Crewman 2.3: We ARE at maximum warp! (finishes his line and is immediately killed by random debris)
Picard: Then go to Super-happy-fun-warp-of-impossible-and-unimaginable-speed-such-a-high-speed-that-it-could-tear-the-fragment-of-time!!
Everyone: (gasps)
Data: But Captain… that's not even pos-
Picard: DO IT!
Nameless Crewman 67: (randomly presses some buttons) Here we go!
(The screen suddenly flashes white, then green, then yellow, then white again and continues in this pattern for a while. Then, suddenly, the ship is shown careening down a pink tunnel with red hearts. The crew flings themselves around again.)
Scotty: (with a Scottish accent) Cap'n! She can't take no more!
Picard: Who are you?
Scotty: (with a Scottish accent) Uh… (shifty eyes) they're on to me! (runs away)
Riker: Oooookaaaay…
(The crew all fling themselves around a while longer and this time sparks fly and a random piece of technology become dislodged and something explodes)
Picard: Red alert!!!
Nameless Crewman 3000: It's too late! (somehow manages to die when the camera angle changes)
Troi: We've take heavy casualties, Captain! We have to get out of Super-happy-fun-warp-of-impossible-and-unimaginable-speed-such-a-high-speed-that-it-could-tear-the-fragment-of-time!!
Picard: (is staring at the hearts in the tunnel) Ooooo… pretty… (smiles with a crazy looking grin)
Worf: (calls from the background) Blow it up!
Troi: Stop saying that…
Worf:… wait… aren't you an empath? (dodges random debris, which smacks into a nameless crewman… poor things…)
Troi: (pulls more cake from her pocket) Ya, so…? (eats cake)
Worf: … well… look at all of the snivelling humans… shouldn't you-
Troi: FEAR!! INCREDIBLE FEAR! (screams)
(suddenly the ship's lights go off and the entire thing rattles around for a bit. The tunnel of pink terror and fearful hearts ceases to exist. Somehow… the faeries are gone… in fact… you might say… they weren't even born yet… because it's slightly different… in terms of TIME!)
Picard: DUN DUN DUN!
Riker: What are you doing?
Picard: …uh… shut up! (glares)
Riker: (backs away slowly)
Troi: (gets off the pile of nameless crewman that had broken her fall) Where are we…? (gasps) Where's my CAKE!
Worf: That's MY cake! (pouts) I made it in my baking class…
Picard: (close up on his face) Perhaps it is more a question of when… (looks mysterious)
Riker: …What? What are you talking about?
Picard: Didn't you hear the narration?
Riker: …
Picard: I hear VOICES! (stares at Riker)
Riker: Uh…
Nameless Crewman 574: What the hell is going on? I haven't made an appearance in an entire chapter…
Crusher: Speak for yourself… I've been standing here since the second chapter.
Wesley: Same here! (looks happy)
LaForge: Don't you have a job or something…?
Wesley: I press buttons! (looks… happier…)
Picard: Shut up back there... We're TRYING to have a tea party. (is sitting at a tiny plastic table on a tiny plastic chair sipping imaginary tea with several stuffed animals) Do you want some tea Mr. wombat?
Everyone: (takes a step away from Picard)
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Will anything ever happen? Will Picard stop hearing voices?
Sure, and not likely.
But for other questions, find out next time in… The Anomalous Cheese Sandwich Anomaly!