Looking Back in the Rearview Mirror

Written by Loraliant Angelisa Snape

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It had been pouring for quite some time now. The darkness was like your mood; cold, depressed, and lethargic. The row had taken a lot out of you. So you ran. You ran away from that hell-hole to a better life. You were beginning a new chapter in your fairly short life. It was a fresh start.

Yet you couldn't cleanse your name from the horribleness that the rest of the family had put upon it.

With your trunk packed, you took your flying motor bike and jetted away. Nothing and no one would hold you back. You turned the key in the ignition and took off, roaring, down the street. A few hours on the road were what set your mind in order and you decided to head to Remus Lupin's at first. As fate would have it, he wasn't home. Dejectedly, you got back on the bike and flew toward Surrey to see if Peter was willing to help you get on your feet.

"I'm sorry, but if your family finds you here, it'd be the death of us all," Mrs. Pettigrew refused to budge. Of course you understood, so you headed to the one place, besides Remus's, that you wanted to be. James would take you in. You knew it.

"Sirius, darling! It's wonderful to see you! Come in, come in," Mrs. Potter, a dazzling red head with golden eyes exclaimed. This was the comfort you had searched for. This was the type of love you had been deprived of your whole life, until you met James.

"It's wonderful to be here," you reply. "But I'm in a precarious position."

"Did you get in trouble with the Ministry, Sirius?" Mr. Potter joined his beloved wife on the sitting room couch.

"No, it's with my family. I have just been unofficially disowned by the lot of them. Well, maybe not by Andromeda, but everyone else wants nothing to do with me."

"Well, of course you'll stay here! We wouldn't dream of turning you away! I'll give you the room by James's. That way you two can plot and the like," Mrs. Potter said as she clapped and stood.

"Our son always did want a brother. I guess you're that sibling now. I'll file for the forms of guardianship. I'll grease the wheels."

"Thanks, Mr. Potter. Where's James at by the way?"

"Out with his girlfriend," his mother replied happily.

'Girlfriend? I didn't know he had one,' you think to yourself. All of a sudden you feel as if the world just turned a deeper shade of blue, instead of the bright yellow it had been before.

Mr. Potter must have seen the look on your face and dutifully doled the information that his wife had withheld without meaning to. "A girl by the name Lily Evans, I hear."

You look surprised as you reply, "Lily?! No way! Well, it's about bloody time! Next thing you know, we'll be hearing wedding bells!"

"Don't swear, Sirius," Mrs. Potter absently told you off. You gave her a cheeky grin in return.

"I'll help you with your trunk if you like," Mr. Potter offered.

"No thanks, I can manage. I shrank it, anyway." You blushed a bit at the willingness and warmth that they gave you.

"Okay, you can go on up if you like."

"Thanks, you guys. It means a lot to me." You got up and ridded yourself of the black leather jacket you had bought along with the bike.

The room was a soft yellow, with soft blue curtains and tiled floors that were grey in some lights, white in others. A few green rugs were scattered across the floor. You took the shrunken box out of your pocket and placed it at the end of the four-poster bed. It took only a few moments to enlarge it back to its original size. An hour later, you had unpacked and moved in. Thirty minutes after that, you heard the voices of two new people.

"And it was awesome! The carts went in this great loop, and came back down into these windy curves!"

"Calm down James, it wasn't that big a deal. They have bigger amusement parks in other countries," you heard Lily's voice float through the air.

"I need to owl Sirius!" James's voice sounded to the top of the staircase you had taken residence at.

"What about me?" you answered, clearing the steps two at a time.

"Sirius!" Lily ran to you and hugged as if there wouldn't be a tomorrow.

"We were just coming to find you, mate! Why are you here? Not that I'm not happy about it, but…" James looked at you inquiringly, not quite believing what his eyes were showing him. And so you told both of them the full story. When you got through, they were shocked.

"How can someone do something like that to their own flesh and blood?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, Lil. But it's disgusting." James shook his head.

You were silent this whole time, Sirius. It had just hit you that you couldn't go back home ever again. Does that scare you more than anything? I think it did at first. Mum and Father always called me the better son, but how much better was I? I was young and stupid; was that what they meant? Because I think that you were the better son. I can't kill anyone; I learned that after joining Voldemort's cause. You didn't run away; they kicked you out for simply being you.

You might have said that you would leave and never look back, but brother of mine, I never believed it for one moment. When you got on that flying motor bike of yours, I watched from my bedroom window. Remember this; I will always love you because you are my brother. I know that now, and I think you know it too. I'm telling you this because I caught you looking back in the rearview mirror.

Regulus Black