Link The Housekeeper
part 8
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Nihaoooooooo! I'm back all!
Yep, I was suspended the week I published my the previous chapter that HAD the shout-outs on it so I changed it.
As for my other absent weeks...I was just too damn lazy to upload my stories but I miss yall! XD
Well, here's my next chapter...
Chapter 8: Nosy Blondes
[last time we left off, Sheik and Link had a nice little panty raid but are now doing some more snooping]
Sheik: (heaving the basket towards the door) Alright, let's get to the basement!
Link: Wait a minute! (points to a bulliten board full with photos) Look at this!
Sheik: (drops basket and looks) Wowwwwww...
Link: (pointing to a picture with Mz/Chx and a blonde boy at a amusement park) Cool! She knew Jounochi?
Sheik: Knew who?
Link: Uh...Jounochi, from "Yu-Gi-Oh"...DUH.
Sheik: (rolls eyes) You mean Joey Wheeler {duh}?
Link: NO, Jounochi. That stupid American version of him is such a bitch...
Sheik: Hey! Here she is getting an autograph from Joanna Dark!
Link: Fo rizzle?!
[God, let's hope he doesn't EVER use that phrase again.]
Sheik: Man, she's soooooooo pretty.
Link: Yeah, she's like the Halle Berry of Nintendo...(drool)
Sheik: Who's Halle Berry?
Link: Um...nobody... (changes the subject). Time to do the laundry!
[in the laundry-room part of the basement sits a small dryer and a big washing machine. Y'know the kind of washer with the window so you can watch your clothes spin around...and around...and aroun--. Okay moving on! XD]
Link: (happily) DUDE! Another micro-whatchamacallit! Run upstairs and get a cup!
Sheik: (rolls eyes) It's a washing machine, dumbass.
Link: Shut up. Is this thing really gonna wash her clothes?
Sheik: Yup.
Link: Hmm, interesting. (stares)
Sheik: Well, don't just stand there! Dump the clothes inside the washer! (opens washer door)
Link: (sighs) FINE. (starts to shovel in the clothes with his hands)
[10 minutes later, Link was still in the process of loading the washing machine]
Sheik: Hay-zoos! You're still not finished?!
Link: You're telling me! I never thought that someone with so many jobs would buy nothing but CLOTHES!! (struggles to pack in more clothes)
Sheik: Um, okay I guess you can stop now, it's pretty full.
Link: NO WAY! I'm gonna get in every last sock, cardigan sweater and lacy bloomer in ONE LOAD.
Sheik: Alright but if something goes wrong...You did it! (opens the jug of "All" liquid washing detergent and pours some of the blue liquid in the little cup)
Link: (snatches cup) Whew! Thanks, I was getting thirsty. (gulps down the detergent) Ahhhhh! That really hit the spot.
Sheik: (laughing hysterically) BWA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHA!!!
Link: What?
Sheik: You...hahaha...just drank some...hahaha...laundry soap! Hahahaha!!
Link: (ulp) Oh dear...I don't feel so good...(barfs in the nearby sink)
Sheik: (still laughing) Quick...drink some...hahaha! Water...(hands him a cup)
Link: (chugs the water like it's his last) Ohhhh...man why must EVERY deadly liquid look like juice nowadays...
Sheik: Cuz you're an idiot.
Link: Ahh, up your ass with broken glass! (burrrrrrrp) Dude...I just bubble-belched.
Sheik: (pours some of the jug into the washer without looking) That was TOO funny...Wait'll I tell Zellllllllllllda...Haha!
Link: (burrrrrrrp!) Ha! That was a big one!
Sheik: Okay, we just twist some knobs...(twists most of them)
Link: HEY! I wanna twist one! (braaaaaaap!)
Sheik: (rolls eyes) FINE. Just twist the one that says hot-cold-warm.
Link: Okay. (twists the knob)
Sheik: (pushes start button) And there we go!
Link: (watches the clothes submerge in soapy water) Duuuuude!
Sheik: What?
Link: This is mannnnn...
Sheik: (looks washer) Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!!
Link: Sweeeeeeeeeet, it's starting to spin! (tilts head to the side) It's like a soap opera!
[about 10 minutes later, the washer ends it's rinse cycle and starts to spin more]
Sheik: Man, that tube top is gonna be pissed to find out those sweatpants are having an affair with that sock!
Link: Dude this SO tops the microwave!!
Sheik: (wide-eyed) Nuh-uh!
Link: (points finger in Sheik's face) Blasphemy!
Sheik: Pfft! It does not! And get your finger out of my face. Lord knows WHO it's been (snicker)...
Link: (gasps) You take that BACK!
Sheik: Make me! (rasberry)
Link: Hey, why is the washing machine crying?
[the smarter blonde turns to see that the door of the washing machine is leaking suds and water]
Sheik: Uh-oh...(hands him a Zora tunic) You might wanna put this on...
Link: Whew! Thanks! (puts it on) Why?
[Ploooooosh! Kaboom! The washer-door snaps off the hinge and 2 feet of the basement is flooded with suds and hot water]
Sheik: Ohhhh...
Link: Shit...
Sheik: Dude, we are SO fucked...
Link: You're telling me! These are my favorite boots and I got them all wet. Wahhhh...
Sheik: (throttles Link by the collar) YOU FUCKING IMBECILE! WE JUST FLOODED HER BASEMENT AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS YOUR CRAPPY FOOTWEAR?!?!
Link: (face in horror to see the shorter man strangling him in the air) Sheeeeeeik...I can't breeeeeeeeathe!! (whines)
Sheik: (shakes head) Huh? Oh, my bad. (slams Link on the ground) Don't worry, I'm seeing a psychiatrist about that. (blushes in embarrasment) Oh dear...Mwuhahaha.
Link: (adjusting the neck of his long-johns) Dude, so what do we do now?
Sheik: WE?! I think YOU have to get this water out of here.
Link: Who ME?!
Sheik: Yes you!
Link: Couldn't be, then who? Hahaha.
Sheik: ARRGH! This isn't about "who took the cookies from the cookie jar"!
Link: Seriously! It's YOUR FAULT!
Sheik: My fault.(?)
Link: YUP! It was YOU who put so much soap in the washer!
Sheik: But YOU'RE the one who wanted to stuff the machine beyond capacity!
Link: Hmmph!
Sheik: (rolls eyes) I still say that I'll put the clothes in the dryer and you find a way to remove the water.
Link: NO!
Sheik: FINE! How about YOU find a way to remove the water and I'LL put the clothes in the dryer?
Link: (thinking. Ha! Can he do that?) Mehhhh, okay!
Sheik: {Sheik: 20,439...Link: Zip}
Link: Wait...what?!
end chap 8
God, you should SO know that by now.
Hmm, do you find the washing machine bit more entertaining than the microwave?
And about the Yu-Gi-Oh thing, there's also the YGO manga and "Joey Wheeler" is Jounochi (however the hell you spell it) and "Tristan" is Honda and "Tea's" manga identity is Anzu Mazaki.
Very, VERY good manga. Tops the show by a bajillion!
And that joke Sheik made when he was like "You don't know WHO that finger's been". Ohhh MAN that was a good one...
Hmm...Oh yeah, "Fo rizzle" is "Izzinese" for "For real". Ha. It's not hard to speak it. Just put an izzle/eezy/izz-eye/etc. sound before the first vowel sound in the word. There are exceptions but speaking it perfectly comes with practice. Or prizzactice/preezy.