This fic doesn't exactly have a good plot. A lot of people already know
that I am terrible at writing humor fics, but I am an insistent person! XD
At the beginning of this fic, Hsi Wu wasn't born yet. Shendu and Xiao Fung are still little children, etc... ^_^
Disclaimer: Except for the characters that I've created myself, I own nothing!
Ok, I'm not going to bother you with my long author notes. Let the story begin!
*****
Chapter 1: Perdition Forest
Bai Tsa and Jin were walking side by side. Jin was talking about her trip with her siblings to a remote zone of the African continent, though Bai Tsa wasn't interested in that at all.
"...Andthentheybegantorunafterusandwehadnootherchoicenutrunmoreandmoreandthe nwereachedaprecipiceandwelookedbehindusandtheywerealreadycathingusupandwefin allydecidedtojumpthatwasreallythemostcourageousandexcitingthingthatwehaveeve rdone...", Jin said without stopping, very fast. It looked like she never lost her breath. She was a demon, but that was already too much. Bai Tsa didn't even understand what her friend was saying, and wished from the heart that she shut up for at least one second.
"Are you listening to me, Bai?", Jin finally calmed down to ask. Bai let out a mental sigh and thanked for the moment of almost silence. She tried to enjoy the other sounds of nature, since she knew that Jin would continue her endless speech again after answering her question.
"Yes, Jin, I am.", Bai replied and drew a deep breath in order to not get annoyed.
"How am I supposed to know if you are listening to me if I'm the only one here who is talking?"
"So what do you suggest?"
"Just agree. That makes me calmer.", Jin said and when seeing that Bai nodded, she smiled pleased and drew a deep breath.
"Backtothesubjectwejumpedtheprecipiceandfellinalakewithalotofmeateatingpiran hasandtheywereeverywhereandtherewereyetthecannibalsandthebatsandthezumbiesan dthebeesandthesnakesandtheywereallafterus-"
"Uh-huh..."
"Andwehadonlytwooptionstobedevouredortodevourallthemweobviouslychosethesecon doptionatndgesswhatwewon-"
"Uh-huh..."
"OfcourseIwasthestrongerthereandIwoneasilyandevenhelpedmysiblingstheywerever yproudofmeandforthelasttimeIprovedthatIhavecouragenowtheyallrespectmeandIcou ldnotbehappierinmywholelife!"
"Yes, very cool, Jin."
"What about you? Didn't you travel during the summer?"
"Not yet. We had some problems. But I and my sibling are going to travel to the south of China."
"What part of the south?"
"Did you already hear about the 'Perdition Forest'?", Bai asked and Jin was in shock.
"Don't tell me you're going...", Jin paused and swallowed. "...there? Bai Tsa, that place is cursed!"
"C'mon, don't be sil-", Bai Tsa could finish her sentence, because her head was hit by a stone that had been thrown from their left side. Bai fell in the ground and Jin looked at her friend.
"You see? I told you that you should watch your step, even if you're a water demon.", Jin said and Bai didn't beat her up because she preferred to know who had thrown the stone. There was a small bruise in her head, and when feeling that some blood was dropping, Bai clenched her fist while holding the stone with her other hand.
She looked at her left side and felt her blood boiling when seeing who was there. She saw Xiao Fung holding a stick and Shendu holding a stone. And there were a lot of them beside him in the ground.
"SHENDU!!!!!!!!", she shouted stomping angrily in his direction.
"I can tolerate very much things from you, but to hit me with stones? Now you went too far! Let's see the damage that those stones can do to your face!!", she threatened raising her hand with the stone ready to throw it against Shendu, but Xiao Fung managed to stop her on time by holding her arm.
"Calm down, my sister! He didn't do that on purpose!", Xiao said quickly and Bai Tsa turned her rage to him.
"What do you mean?"
"We two were training. He had to throw the stones and I had to rebut them with the stick.", Xiao explained and began to rotate the stick, but he ended up hitting her sister's stomach accidentally.
"Oops. Sorry, Bai.", Xiao said rubbing the back of his head with his hand and smiling innocently. Bai glared at her two brothers.
"I think you two want to die today! Why didn't you just ask? You would have a faster and painless death."
"But it's not our fault that you're always in our way.", Xiao defended.
"Looks like you're going to be the first, Xiao! Die!", she shouted ready to hit him, but this time was stopped by Jin.
"Leave them alone, Bai. After all, they're soooo cute!", Jin said caressing their heads. Unlike Shendu, Xiao didn't mind about that and even liked it.
"They are two pests!"
Jin ignored Bai and knelt down to look at them in their eyes.
"Bai told me that you're going to travel to the south. Aren't you afraid? I heard that there are ghosts there.", Jin commented and Shendu smirked, crossing his arms proudly.
"I know, that's because I suggested that place. Bai Tsa is afraid of ghosts.", he said.
"I am not! Besides, I- Wait! So it was you who suggested that place? Grrr, you'll pay!", she snapped preparing to hit her little brother again, but he ran away from her and then stopped some meters from there.
"She's afraid of cockroaches too!", he yelled and ran away again when Bai went after him very angry.
"Why you--!", she shouted while pursuing him. Xiao blinked twice.
"Hey, Bai Tsa! Actually, it was Tchang Zu who suggested that place!", he yelled, but Bai didn't hear him or thought that still had good reasons to beat her youngest brother.
-/-/-
All the seven siblings and two guides - a man and a woman - were walking in the middle of a forest, at night, with only the moonlight illuminating their way. When they arrived in a more open area of the forest, the guides stopped.
"We've arrived.", the man announced and the demons glanced around themselves.
"But there's nothing here.", Xiao commented when they saw nothing special in the forest.
"Oh, of course there is. There are the trees, the stones, the grass, the cockroaches...", the man said and Bai felt cold shivers going down her spine.
"Cockroach?! Where?", she asked jumping and holding Tso Lan's neck. He had been beside her until now and had to hold her so that she wouldn't fall in the ground.
"Hehehe, there's no cockroach here. I just wanted to know if it was true that a demon like you is afraid of so much inoffensive insects."
"I am not afraid of them! I just can't stand them! They're nasty!"
"Look, a cockroach on your head!", the guide said pointing at her head.
"Ahhhh! Get out! Get out! Get out! Aww, Disgusting!!!", she yelled kicking and punching nothing and sometimes Tso Lan, who almost fell in the ground with her. Xiao laughed.
"Think for the good side, Tso Lan. At least it's not Po Kong who's afraid of cockroaches.", the wind demon said and Tso Lan closed his eyes, trying to calm down and pretend that had not heard that last remark.
"Calm down, Bai Tsa. There's no cockroach here.", the guide repeated, but Bai was still unsure and thought that it was very safer to stay with Tso Lan.
-/-/-
The man taught the demons how to put up a tent where they could sleep at night. It wasn't very successful, since they were a bit clumsy. The worst case was Po Kong's, who had difficulties in... fitting in the tent. She wasn't as big as a house yet, but was very big anyway.
"Very well, children. You've done a good job with the tents.", the man said pleased and on that exact moment Xiao's tent took down. Apparently the guide didn't mind at all and continued to smile in approval.
"Tomorrow, I'll teach you about worms.", the guide said.
"But Dai already knows everything about worms.", the earth demon said.
"Who would want to know something like that, after all?", Bai muttered and the woman, who had been quiet until now, clenched her fists and took her whip. She glared at the demons, her eyes red of rage.
"SILENCE! YOU ARE GOING TO LEARN EVERYTHING ABOUT WORMS AND DO THAT WITH YOUR MOUTH SHUT!", she shouted and stretched her whip with her hands.
"Listen to me, you retarded, imbecile brats... I don't care if you are demons! I may be a human, but I used to be an excellent demon exterminator and I always killed easily demons bigger and more dangerous than all of you together! Then you better do as I demand!!!", she continued and when finishing her sentence, she whipped a tree, breaking it into small pieces.
The demons stared horrified at the ex-tree and gulped. Even the older ones had to admit that this woman was really dangerous and insane. It would be healthier for them if they obeyed the guides.
"I hope it is clear enough to all of you, because if its not, I will have pleasure...", she said pressing the whip and the demons flinched. "...of teaching you with my own methods! And believe me, you do not want to learn with my own methods!", she said slowly. They heard a noise of something moving in a bush, and the woman glared at that direction.
"DIE YOU INTRUDER!!!", she shouted throwing a big knife that was in a hem hanging in her waist. She got to hit the 'intruder' and when the man approached of it in order to see what it was, he made a grimace of disgust and took it.
"Look, you hit a squirrel.", he said and the demons turned very pale when seeing that the man was very sure that that thing had once been a squirrel. Well, now it didn't even looked like something of this planet, it was very deformed...
"Good, now that can go to my collection... bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!", the woman laughed evilly and the man put away the... squirrel... in a bag.
At the beginning of this fic, Hsi Wu wasn't born yet. Shendu and Xiao Fung are still little children, etc... ^_^
Disclaimer: Except for the characters that I've created myself, I own nothing!
Ok, I'm not going to bother you with my long author notes. Let the story begin!
*****
Chapter 1: Perdition Forest
Bai Tsa and Jin were walking side by side. Jin was talking about her trip with her siblings to a remote zone of the African continent, though Bai Tsa wasn't interested in that at all.
"...Andthentheybegantorunafterusandwehadnootherchoicenutrunmoreandmoreandthe nwereachedaprecipiceandwelookedbehindusandtheywerealreadycathingusupandwefin allydecidedtojumpthatwasreallythemostcourageousandexcitingthingthatwehaveeve rdone...", Jin said without stopping, very fast. It looked like she never lost her breath. She was a demon, but that was already too much. Bai Tsa didn't even understand what her friend was saying, and wished from the heart that she shut up for at least one second.
"Are you listening to me, Bai?", Jin finally calmed down to ask. Bai let out a mental sigh and thanked for the moment of almost silence. She tried to enjoy the other sounds of nature, since she knew that Jin would continue her endless speech again after answering her question.
"Yes, Jin, I am.", Bai replied and drew a deep breath in order to not get annoyed.
"How am I supposed to know if you are listening to me if I'm the only one here who is talking?"
"So what do you suggest?"
"Just agree. That makes me calmer.", Jin said and when seeing that Bai nodded, she smiled pleased and drew a deep breath.
"Backtothesubjectwejumpedtheprecipiceandfellinalakewithalotofmeateatingpiran hasandtheywereeverywhereandtherewereyetthecannibalsandthebatsandthezumbiesan dthebeesandthesnakesandtheywereallafterus-"
"Uh-huh..."
"Andwehadonlytwooptionstobedevouredortodevourallthemweobviouslychosethesecon doptionatndgesswhatwewon-"
"Uh-huh..."
"OfcourseIwasthestrongerthereandIwoneasilyandevenhelpedmysiblingstheywerever yproudofmeandforthelasttimeIprovedthatIhavecouragenowtheyallrespectmeandIcou ldnotbehappierinmywholelife!"
"Yes, very cool, Jin."
"What about you? Didn't you travel during the summer?"
"Not yet. We had some problems. But I and my sibling are going to travel to the south of China."
"What part of the south?"
"Did you already hear about the 'Perdition Forest'?", Bai asked and Jin was in shock.
"Don't tell me you're going...", Jin paused and swallowed. "...there? Bai Tsa, that place is cursed!"
"C'mon, don't be sil-", Bai Tsa could finish her sentence, because her head was hit by a stone that had been thrown from their left side. Bai fell in the ground and Jin looked at her friend.
"You see? I told you that you should watch your step, even if you're a water demon.", Jin said and Bai didn't beat her up because she preferred to know who had thrown the stone. There was a small bruise in her head, and when feeling that some blood was dropping, Bai clenched her fist while holding the stone with her other hand.
She looked at her left side and felt her blood boiling when seeing who was there. She saw Xiao Fung holding a stick and Shendu holding a stone. And there were a lot of them beside him in the ground.
"SHENDU!!!!!!!!", she shouted stomping angrily in his direction.
"I can tolerate very much things from you, but to hit me with stones? Now you went too far! Let's see the damage that those stones can do to your face!!", she threatened raising her hand with the stone ready to throw it against Shendu, but Xiao Fung managed to stop her on time by holding her arm.
"Calm down, my sister! He didn't do that on purpose!", Xiao said quickly and Bai Tsa turned her rage to him.
"What do you mean?"
"We two were training. He had to throw the stones and I had to rebut them with the stick.", Xiao explained and began to rotate the stick, but he ended up hitting her sister's stomach accidentally.
"Oops. Sorry, Bai.", Xiao said rubbing the back of his head with his hand and smiling innocently. Bai glared at her two brothers.
"I think you two want to die today! Why didn't you just ask? You would have a faster and painless death."
"But it's not our fault that you're always in our way.", Xiao defended.
"Looks like you're going to be the first, Xiao! Die!", she shouted ready to hit him, but this time was stopped by Jin.
"Leave them alone, Bai. After all, they're soooo cute!", Jin said caressing their heads. Unlike Shendu, Xiao didn't mind about that and even liked it.
"They are two pests!"
Jin ignored Bai and knelt down to look at them in their eyes.
"Bai told me that you're going to travel to the south. Aren't you afraid? I heard that there are ghosts there.", Jin commented and Shendu smirked, crossing his arms proudly.
"I know, that's because I suggested that place. Bai Tsa is afraid of ghosts.", he said.
"I am not! Besides, I- Wait! So it was you who suggested that place? Grrr, you'll pay!", she snapped preparing to hit her little brother again, but he ran away from her and then stopped some meters from there.
"She's afraid of cockroaches too!", he yelled and ran away again when Bai went after him very angry.
"Why you--!", she shouted while pursuing him. Xiao blinked twice.
"Hey, Bai Tsa! Actually, it was Tchang Zu who suggested that place!", he yelled, but Bai didn't hear him or thought that still had good reasons to beat her youngest brother.
-/-/-
All the seven siblings and two guides - a man and a woman - were walking in the middle of a forest, at night, with only the moonlight illuminating their way. When they arrived in a more open area of the forest, the guides stopped.
"We've arrived.", the man announced and the demons glanced around themselves.
"But there's nothing here.", Xiao commented when they saw nothing special in the forest.
"Oh, of course there is. There are the trees, the stones, the grass, the cockroaches...", the man said and Bai felt cold shivers going down her spine.
"Cockroach?! Where?", she asked jumping and holding Tso Lan's neck. He had been beside her until now and had to hold her so that she wouldn't fall in the ground.
"Hehehe, there's no cockroach here. I just wanted to know if it was true that a demon like you is afraid of so much inoffensive insects."
"I am not afraid of them! I just can't stand them! They're nasty!"
"Look, a cockroach on your head!", the guide said pointing at her head.
"Ahhhh! Get out! Get out! Get out! Aww, Disgusting!!!", she yelled kicking and punching nothing and sometimes Tso Lan, who almost fell in the ground with her. Xiao laughed.
"Think for the good side, Tso Lan. At least it's not Po Kong who's afraid of cockroaches.", the wind demon said and Tso Lan closed his eyes, trying to calm down and pretend that had not heard that last remark.
"Calm down, Bai Tsa. There's no cockroach here.", the guide repeated, but Bai was still unsure and thought that it was very safer to stay with Tso Lan.
-/-/-
The man taught the demons how to put up a tent where they could sleep at night. It wasn't very successful, since they were a bit clumsy. The worst case was Po Kong's, who had difficulties in... fitting in the tent. She wasn't as big as a house yet, but was very big anyway.
"Very well, children. You've done a good job with the tents.", the man said pleased and on that exact moment Xiao's tent took down. Apparently the guide didn't mind at all and continued to smile in approval.
"Tomorrow, I'll teach you about worms.", the guide said.
"But Dai already knows everything about worms.", the earth demon said.
"Who would want to know something like that, after all?", Bai muttered and the woman, who had been quiet until now, clenched her fists and took her whip. She glared at the demons, her eyes red of rage.
"SILENCE! YOU ARE GOING TO LEARN EVERYTHING ABOUT WORMS AND DO THAT WITH YOUR MOUTH SHUT!", she shouted and stretched her whip with her hands.
"Listen to me, you retarded, imbecile brats... I don't care if you are demons! I may be a human, but I used to be an excellent demon exterminator and I always killed easily demons bigger and more dangerous than all of you together! Then you better do as I demand!!!", she continued and when finishing her sentence, she whipped a tree, breaking it into small pieces.
The demons stared horrified at the ex-tree and gulped. Even the older ones had to admit that this woman was really dangerous and insane. It would be healthier for them if they obeyed the guides.
"I hope it is clear enough to all of you, because if its not, I will have pleasure...", she said pressing the whip and the demons flinched. "...of teaching you with my own methods! And believe me, you do not want to learn with my own methods!", she said slowly. They heard a noise of something moving in a bush, and the woman glared at that direction.
"DIE YOU INTRUDER!!!", she shouted throwing a big knife that was in a hem hanging in her waist. She got to hit the 'intruder' and when the man approached of it in order to see what it was, he made a grimace of disgust and took it.
"Look, you hit a squirrel.", he said and the demons turned very pale when seeing that the man was very sure that that thing had once been a squirrel. Well, now it didn't even looked like something of this planet, it was very deformed...
"Good, now that can go to my collection... bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!", the woman laughed evilly and the man put away the... squirrel... in a bag.