I'm so happy for the nice reviews! Thank you very much, VampireNaomi and Forgotten Love!^^
Here's chapter 3. Unfortunately I take too long to write a new chapter of this fic, since I'm able to write humor fics only when I'm really inspired or when I'm on a "humor mood". And of course, reviews contribute to keep me writing too.
Aww, little Xiao Fung is so cute! I hope you don't mind if I make him cry often, but I think it's just like him when he was a child!^^ And probably he was the naive type too... hehe, you'll see him like this in all of my fics.
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Chapter 3: The Old Witch
"That's it! Now we are all going to die!", Bai Tsa said desperate.
"Indeed, even if we get rid of the guide's body, his wife will note his absence sooner or later!", Shendu added.
"It's ok, we just have to pretend that we don't know about it. We go back to the camping and-"
"I don't want to go back to the camping! I am still very young to die!", Xiao Fung interrupted and Tchang Zu swallowed.
"Do not worry, let's just say that he accidentally went too far away from us and didn't return. She will think that some wild animal attacked him. Simple.", the thunder demon said calmly and the other felt a bit better.
"All right... let's go...", Po Kong said softly pushing her two youngest brothers when it seemed that they weren't going to move. They didn't remember very well where the camping was, but obviously it was in the direction from where the female guide had come before when she had surprised them.
However, before they got to the camping, they saw a mysterious and gloomy figure, slightly hunched, with uncombed gray hair, wearing a black robe and a hood, staring at the ground. The demons yelped as they saw that creature. It looked at them and everybody noticed that it was actually an old woman who resembled an occidental witch. The woman laughed when she saw the demons staring at her both confused and curious.
"Who are you?", Tchang Zu dared to ask.
"Nobody important, just an old woman from a villa of the south.", she answered smiling.
"Then what are you doing here?", Dai Gui asked. The woman approached of them and grinned spookily.
"The spirits told me that something had happened here!", she said almost yelling and the demons glanced at each other.
"The spirits?", Po repeated.
"What?! You cannot hear the spirits?!", the old woman asked in shock and the demons shook their heads.
"Only using spells.", Tso pointed.
"Oh, but what is this world becoming...? When I had your age I could already clearly hear the spirits!"
"I think we are still older than you nowadays...", Bai Tsa remarked and the old woman made a gesture so that they kept in silence.
"Aren't you hearing? The spirits are talking... Are you hearing?", she whispered and they were quiet trying to hear something.
"Hey, I think I'm hearing them.", Xiao said happily.
"It's just the wind, Xiao.", Tso Lan said.
"No, no... It's the spir- Oh, wait... it's just the wind..."
"Ahh, I don't believe! Xiao! You are the wind demon! You are supposed to recognize the sound of the wind!", Bai Tsa criticized.
"You are disturbing the spirits!", the woman complained and everybody turned their glances to her again. "The spirits told me a very important thing!"
"And what is it?", Tchang Zu asked already losing his patience.
"I'll tell you only if you give me blood.", she said calmly crossing her arms behind her.
"Blood?", they repeated.
"And why the hell do you want blood?!", Tchang wanted to know.
"And it must be a mammal animal's blood. It can't be demon's blood."
The demons glanced at each other and after a while each one went to a different direction.
"A mammal animal!", Bai Tsa yelled seeking in the bushes and trees as well as her siblings were doing.
"I found it!", Xiao announced and they gathered.
"You got blood, Xiao?", Po Kong confirmed and he nodded.
"Yes, it's here!", he said lifting a dead crow and everybody slit their eyes.
"Xiao, crow is not a mammal! It is a bird!", Bai Tsa snapped.
"Birds aren't mammals?", the little demon asked.
"NO!", they answered at the same time.
"Wait, what's a mammal animal?", Xiao asked and they almost fell down.
"Idiot!!!", Bai Tsa, Dai Gui, Tchang Zu and Shendu shouted.
"OHHH, NOOOOOOO!!!!!", the woman yelled and ran to them until getting to Xiao and took the dead crow. "Hei Ya!!!", she cried on the crow as if it were a tissue.
"What?", Bai Tsa asked.
"He was my pet crow!!! My dear Hei Ya!!!"
"Uh... My condolences...", Tso Lan said.
"Come on, let's look for a mammal animal!", Tchang Zu reminded and they dispersed again. Xiao, who still didn't know what a mammal meant, stood there looking at the woman.
"Hey, since he's dead now, can I eat him?", the wind demon asked and the woman looked seriously at him.
"Sure, at least it won't be wasted.", she said shrugging and giving the crow to him.
Dai Gui knelt down to look for a mammal in the bushes and Shendu was near him glancing around himself. The dragon heard an insect buzzing and noted that a mosquito landed on Dai Gui's back. Shendu smirked when he had an idea and he slowly approached of the earth demon from behind.
"Brother Dai, don't move...", he said in a low voice.
"What?"
'PAFT'
"We found it!", Dai Gui announced and they gathered again. Tso Lan noticed that Shendu had a bump on his head.
"Shendu, what happened?"
"I found a mosquito and thought it would be a good idea to take the blood that the mosquito had sucked from some animal. But... it landed on Dai Gui's back and I killed it while it was still there... and then Dai hit me...", the little fire demon said whining and Dai Gui snorted.
"Here it is!", he said handing over the mosquito to the woman, who kept it in a bag. After a long and silent time, she finally decided to say something.
"Why did I ask you to bring me blood?"
"Uh...", they murmured thoughtful, obviously not remembering either.
"Oh, it's because the spirits told you something very important.", Po Kong reminded and the old woman nodded.
"Ah, that's right. Well, they told me that you accidentally did the... riiiiiiiiitual!", she said spookily and trying to sound scarier, but the demons just blinked.
"What ritual?", Bai asked after a while and the woman came out in a cold sweat and cleared her throat.
"I'll tell you only if you give me tears of toad.", she said and they groaned impatiently.
"Enough! Why do you want those things???", Tchang asked angry.
"Relax, that's easy to get.", Bai Tsa said calmly and walked to innocent Xiao Fung. She clenched her fist and lifted it to right after that hit her younger brother's head. He started trying to suppress his crying, then after whining he burst into tears.
"Waaahhhh, Bai Tsa hit me!!!!"
"Here are the tears of toad.", the water demon said pointing at him and the woman smiled pleased.
"Excellent.", she said taking a tissue from her bag and wiped his tears. He even stopped crying, just sobbed. Then she kept the tissue in her bag again and looked at them.
"You accidentally did the ritual of the darkness. It is a ritual with several steps and hard to do because of the short time. First, you have to slaughter a human. Then you have to mark a stone and a tree with his or her blood, and then wrap the body with leaves and tie it with vines in just few minutes and then finally throw it in a river at exactly midnight!"
"Funny... it looks like what we did to that strange old man...", Xiao commented.
"It's exactly what we did to him!!!", Bai Tsa yelled.
"Oh..."
"It means that you have just started a curse.", the old woman continued.
"What curse?", Po wanted to know.
"I'll tell you only if you give me tongue of lizard.", she demanded again and they looked at Shendu, who pressed hi mouth with his hands.
"Don't even think of that, I'm not even a lizard! I am a dragon!", he said with his voice muffled by his hands.
"Enough! We won't continue giving you those strange things just to hear a lot of nonsense!", Tchang Zu snapped.
"Indeed, I don't believe in that curse thing!", Bai agreed.
"But without me you will never know how to put an end to the curse."
"There is no curse!", Bai insisted approaching of her. The other demons also had enough of it and followed their sister's example.
"You dare to threaten a poor old woman? You're really naughty children. In my age, naughty children always were slapped."
"Stop fooling around. I'm very hungry to hear your boring speech.", Po Kong said licking her lips.
"You cannot kill me... The spirits protect me."
"Oh, really? I'd like to see if they can protect you from this!", Tchang shouted raising a fist but they were surprised by a whip snap.
"WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG??????", the female guide asked with her eyes almost as red as the demon's. The siblings froze when seeing her angrier than she ever could be.
"Those naughty children need some slaps.", the old woman said and the guide raised her whip.
"No, they need such a thrashing that they'll never again be even recognized by their father!!!"
The demons stepped back in terror and she glared daggers at them.
"Where is my husband???"
"He... I... we... it's... well... kind of... like...", they stuttered and the old woman smiled.
"The spirits said that a wild animal attacked your husband.", she said and the demons sighed in relieve. "Oh, no... wait... what? Oh...", she talked alone, and nodded several times. "Lou, how many times do I have to say that you must pay attention to the whole conversation before reaching any conclusion? ... No, no! Hanya has just told me that they were going to lie about the guide being attacked by wild animals!"
"Uh... Excuse me... Who are you talking to?", the guide asked politely.
"What do you think? To the spirits, of course!"
"Oh... And... do you know where my husband is...?", the guide tried again and the old woman pointed at the demons, who were quietly slipping away on tiptoe.
"They broke your husband's neck.", she blamed and the guide's expression turned evil again. The demons were pale and shivered.
"I SHALL KILL ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", she shouted and charged at them with her whip and taking her knife with her free hand.
"AAAHHHH!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFES!!!!!!!", Po Kong yelled.
"Wait! Tchang Zu is the oldest and our leader! Go and face her, Tchang!", Bai Tsa said pushing the thunder demon, who tried to look courageous and stood there facing the angry guide. Meanwhile all his siblings hid behind him.
"Y-You... w-w-will... n-not... b-b-beat... u-us... m-mo-mortal...", Tchang stuttered trying to look brave, though the sound of his knees shaking could be clearly heard. The guide threw her knife at him and almost hit his heart. Luckily he was very fast and it just bruised his shoulder. Tchang came out in a sweat cold and slowly turned to face his brothers and sisters.
"EACH DEMON FOR HIMSELF!!!!!!!", he yelled in despair and everybody began to run like crazies for the whole forest while being pursued by the guide, or actually, the demons exterminator. Meanwhile, the old witch calmly watched that scene.
"That's what happens with naughty children who don't help me to prepare my potion."