Two hours passed and Snape grew more and more worried. Hagrid soon had to leave to do his rounds around the castle and McGonagall went to punish a few students who had been misbehaving, so it was just Dumbledore and Snape. Snape had stood and paced while Dumbledore took out a few lemon drops. Soon Snape grew tired of pacing so he sat, but he became restless and would get up and pace all over again. Dumbledore sighed, his poor friend, this was driving him mad.
They both looked up as the door opened and Madam Pomfery walked out. She looked grave and a bit of blood stained the hem of her work robe. Snape quickly ran over to her.
"How is she?" he asked. Madam Pomfery looked up at him, her face etched with sadness and both Snape and Dumbledore waited for the worst.
"She lost the baby," Pomfery said quietly. Snape looked at her like she was mad.
"Baby? What baby?" he spat. Pomfery looked at him shocked.
"You didn't know? She was about a month pregnant, she lost the baby." Snape went wide-eyed, he felt his legs give way, Dumbledore pushed him into a chair.
"She was pregnant, she was pregnant this whole time and I didn't know." Snape placed his face in his hands and his elbows on his knees.
"How is Miss Cortez Poppy?" Dumbledore asked. Pomfery looked at him, sadness still clouding her eyes.
"She'll be fine in a day, in fact she awoke a few minutes ago, she asked me about the baby and she cried when I told her she'd lost it."
"She's awake?" Snape asked, jumping to his feet hope in his eyes. Pomfery shook her head.
"I had to give her a potion to put her to sleep until tomorrow, she needs her rest Professor Snape." Madam Pomfery said firmly, Dumbledore knew she cared for her patients more than anything. Snape nodded.
"May…may I stay with her?" Pomfery smiled at the request.
"Yes, you may, if you want to sleep, you may take the unoccupied bed next to her." Snape nodded, he looked up at Dumbledore who smiled gently at him.
"Go ahead, I will take over your class tomorrow," Dumbledore said.
"Thank you Headmaster." Snape quickly stood up and walked in with Madam Pomfery. She led him to the last bed, by the window. Jaci lay there in a long pajama shirt, it was dark blue. He looked at Pomfery curiously.
"I lent it to her," Madam Pomfery said. Snape nodded.
"Thank you." Pomfery smiled and nodded.
"Good night." With that she walked to her quarters, which was just down the hall, and closed the door. Snape sighed and looked down at Jaci's face. She was a bit pale, and her bruise was going away, thanks to Madam Pomfery, she looked so helpless, so fragile. Snape pulled up a chair next to her bed. He took her hand in his and shook his head. This was all his fault, if only he'd talk to her.
She'd been pregnant! Maybe that's why she had seemed so different, but still, why hadn't she told him that she was expecting! And yet he wondered if it had something to do with him. She'd said he'd been acting different hadn't she?
Jaci awoke slowly and painfully. She didn't open her eyes, she knew where she was and who was holding her hand. She tried not to think about what had happened, about what she had lost, but it was so hard. She took a few deep breaths, hoping Severus wasn't noticing to calm her before she burst out crying. When she felt better, she slowly began making some movements, a little shifting and some sighing.
Severus sat up straighter, he could have sworn that Jaci had moved. He sat still for a few seconds, sure enough, she was shifting! He quickly let go of her hand and sat back waiting for her to fully wake up. Slowly Jaci sat up, she rubbed her eyes tiredly and then opened them. She looked around, but she avoided looking at him, instead she looked out the window.
"Jaci?" Severus said. But Jaci didn't look at him, instead she looked on the other side of her bed and stretched a bit. "Jaci." Severus took her hand, but she took it back.
"What do you want?" Jaci turned to look at him, fire in her eyes. Severus glared back at her.
"Why didn't you tell me you where pregnant?" Severus whispered.
"I figured you didn't want to know." Jaci got up, slowly, painfully, but she stood.
"You shouldn't be standing." Severus got up to help her.
"Don't touch me Severus, I'm—I'm going home soon."
"Home? What the hell do you mean?" Severus was starting to get pissed off all over again.
"Yes home, where I belong, far away from here and from you." Jaci turned to look at him. "Us meeting, well Severus it was a mistake, a big mistake and I see that now. I told Madam Pomfery to tell Dumbledore and not you, I made her give her word, Dumbledore knows, he's hopefully going to arrange me leaving."
Severus couldn't stand this, this was madness, insanity, she wanted to leave him? Everything he had figured out during his long night by her side had left him, everything he had wanted to tell her, everything he'd thought of doing for her was gone. What he was thinking now was that she was a bitch, she'd been with him, slept with him, told him she wanted him and now she was leaving? What had he done? He was nothing but loyal to her. He growled.
"You're staying here." Severus towered over her, but Jaci stood her ground.
"Oh and who's stopping me?" Severus was trying to hold his temper, but it was hard with this woman.
"You're not going to leave me." Severus crossed his arms. Jaci shook her head.
"You're just like my father." Severus' eyes bulged.
"DO NOT COMPARE ME WITH THAT SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MAN!"
"THAT MAN IS MY FATHER!"
"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU! THAT MAN IS THE WORST TYPE OF FATHER IN THE WORLD AND YOU DEFEND HIM?"
"HE'S STILL FAMILY!" Severus began to laugh hysterically.
"Family? That's a good one Jaci, that asshole beats you, almost raped you, tried to give you up to one of the worst Death Eaters and yet…yet you still defend him?"
"He's all I have left."
"All you have left? What the hell am I?" Severus barked out. Jaci shook her head.
"I don't know who you are and I don't want to know."
"What?" Jaci nodded her head.
"I don't want to know you anymore Snape, I don't want to get to know you anymore, I'm leaving and there's nothing that you can do about it." With that Jaci turned and went into the restroom to change.
Severus sat down on a chair, amazed of the words that Jaci had just finished telling him. She didn't want to get to know him anymore? What did he do that made her want to change her mind about him? He had to know. Quickly he stood and raced over to Dumbledore.
"I'm sorry to hear that Miss Leza," Dumbledore said later that day. "As Madam Pomfery asked me last night, I arranged for you to leave tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Jaci asked, a bit in despair. Dumbledore smiled apologetically.
"Yes my dear, I am sorry, but it was the best I could do." Jaci smiled.
"It is all right, thank you so much Mr. Dumbledore." Dumbledore shook his head.
"As I have told you, please call me Albus." Jaci shook her head.
"I wouldn't feel right doing that." Dumbledore laughed.
"All right then Miss Leza, well it is dinner time, would you give me the honor of escorting you to dinner?" Dumbledore stood and offered his arm. Jaci laughed.
"Mr. Dumbledore I believe you would be giving me the honor of escorting me to dinner." They laughed and walked down to the Great Hall.
Hermione looked up as the doors to the Great Hall opened, Harry and Ron were at Quidditch practice so it was up to her to watch out for Snape and Jaci. She sighed in relief as she saw Jaci walking in with Dumbledore, Jaci looked so much better, she was walking with a slight limp, but it would go unnoticed unless you really, really paid attention. Sort of what Snape was doing atop of the teacher's table.
Jaci could feel Snape's eyes on her, but she refused to sit next to him, so she traded places with Hagrid so Hagrid was on Snape's left and Jaci was in between McGonagall and Hagrid. Everyone noticed the change, but they dared not to speak anything about it, Snape was looking like he could murder someone. Jaci talked and laughed with McGonagall and Hagrid and Dumbledore, but she refused to even look in Snape's direction. Soon dinner was over and everyone was heading down to their respected rooms when Jaci found herself in a jam. Her room was with Snape! What was she going to do? She sighed and just followed him, but didn't speak to him and he didn't even turn to look at her.
They walked into his quarters, he glanced at her, then took out a pillow and blanket and went and made himself comfortable on the couch, so Jaci took his bed. When she awoke, she smelled food, her stomach growling, she walked to the kitchen. Snape was there, drinking coffee and reading the Daily Prophet. There was a plate with ham and eggs on the counter, Jaci guessed it was for her, she sat down and began to eat. A few minutes after she had sat down, Snape sighed loudly, it made her jump.
Jaci looked up and saw that Snape was looking straight past her, out of the window, so Jaci turned to see what was back there, she saw nothing interesting, all though it did look a bit cloudy. Jaci shivered and turned back to look at her food. She was surprised to notice out of the corner of her eye, that Severus had left.
Jaci sighed and began to pick up her plate and things, she quickly washed what dishes were there then hurried to go and speak with Dumbledore. But before she could reach the portrait opening, she was grabbed from behind and pushed up against a wall.
"What the hell…" Jaci's eyes went wide, it was Severus. She tried to squirm away, but didn't succeed Severus' grip became tighter on her.
"Jaci, we have to talk."
"I have nothing more to say to you, let me go." Severus growled. He slammed her up against the wall, sending pain searing throughout her body. "Let me go Severus." That only sent Severus slamming her against the wall again.
"You're going to listen to what I have to say." Jaci shook her head. Again she was slammed into the wall. Severus grinned down at her in such a way that it reminded her of her father. Jaci shook her head, no this couldn't be Severus, he wouldn't act this way, but as he slammed her back into the wall, she found out he could.
"You…" Severus slammed her back into the wall as he spoke to her, "are…" he slammed her again, "going…to…stay…here."
"Get your FUCKING hands off of me!" Jaci managed to yell. Severus' eyes went wide.
"You cursed, you no good witch! Good witches don't curse, you are disrespectful, rude, a piece of crap!" Severus yelled, shaking her.
"Oh you already fucking knew I cursed you son of a bitch!" Jaci screamed. Severus went on a rampage.
"Good witches don't curse! Good witches don't curse!" As he continued to repeat that, he slammed her into the wall, each time sending pain searing through her body. Jaci soon began to loose consciousness, little by little, until…
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Jaci heard another Severus voice yell. Both her and 'Severus' turned to the portrait opening where…Severus stood? Jaci shook her head slightly, she was loosing it, 'Severus' had bashed her head in too many times. Speaking of 'Severus', he was running out to the kitchen balcony that led down to the Hogwarts grounds, into the Forbidden Forest. Jaci swayed for a few seconds and collapsed. She felt strong arms wrap themselves around her, pulling her and tugging her until she was laying straight half on the floor half in the safeness of the arms. Jaci had to keep reminding herself to breath, it was getting harder to keep her eyes open. Soon she closed them and just concentrated on taking deep, long and even breaths.
"I've got you, don't worry," were the last things she heard as she slowly drifted into darkness.
Jaci was panting, she was running, she was running faster and faster because she had to get away, she had to get away from him. She looked back, a huge mistake, she tripped, went sprawling onto the ground, she had lost a few seconds, but she was back on her feet as soon as she took in her next breath. She had to get away from him, she just had to.
Jaci sat up, screaming, quickly arms went around her and the warm body smelled of sweet grass and chocolate frogs. Jaci quickly pulled back and her confused eyes met the scared green eyes of Harry Potter. Harry quickly removed his arms from around her shoulders and sat back onto his chair where his friends Ron and Hermione were sitting around also.
"Good—good afternoon Miss Cortez," Harry said slowly after a few moment's pause. Jaci looked at him curiously.
"Where am I?" she looked around.
"The Hospital Wing, in a private part of the Hospital Wing," Ron said. Jaci looked over at him and gave a half smile, but she winced as she felt sore muscles from the back of her head. Jaci sat back and glanced a bit more around the Wing.
"What happened?" she finally asked, hoping that the children could give her some answers.
"We don't know," said Hermione, confirming Jaci's fears, "all we know is that you've been here for two weeks." Jaci stared at her wide-eyed.
"Shut up! Two weeks? Wow!" Jaci said. Harry, Ron, and Hermione nodded.
"We've visited you sometimes, but Snape's been here almost twenty-four seven. Only reason he's not here right now is that Madam Pomfery made him go and shower. He's a mess Miss Cortez, a real mess, hasn't been right since you were attacked…" Harry said. Jaci held up a hand to silence him.
"Wait, so I was attacked?" Harry shrugged.
"That's what we've figured, we're still not sure." Just then someone cleared their throat. They all looked toward the doorway. Harry, Ron, and Hermione's eyes went wide, Professor Snape stood there, hair still dripping wet, glaring at them. Jaci gulped, Snape's eyes were piercing right through the poor kids. Jaci quickly went to their defense.
"Harry, Ron, Hermione, thank you for the lovely visit," Jaci said, making everyone turn to look at her. "But I think I need some rest."
"Of—of course Miss Cortez," Hermione said, catching wind of what Jaci was doing. Hermione stood and kissed Jaci on the cheek. "We'll see you later." Harry and Ron nodded and walked off with Hermione, their eyes avoiding those of Snape's.
Snape growled, he knew that those brats were up to something when he had passed by them earlier, but Pomfery made him go to shower. Snape shook his head, he knew he should have stayed either way, he had wanted to be there when Jaci had awoken.
Jaci watched as Snape made his way to her, he sat down on the chair Harry had been sitting on earlier. Neither of them spoke for a while, Jaci was still a bit confused and she didn't know where to start. Finally, Snape sighed and shook his head.
"It wasn't me," he said, starring at her as if daring for her to disagree.
"I know," she said, surprising him.
"How?"
"I cursed and that bastard lost it, that's how I knew it wasn't you, you were sort of used to me cursing, but the dude wasn't, it was the first time he had heard me curse."
"Oh."
"So, I've been here for two damn weeks?" Snape nodded. Jaci sighed, she should have figured. "What were my damages?"
"You don't want to know."
"Yes I do, I asked you now tell me." Snape shook his head.
"No, you need rest, get some sleep." With that he settled back in the chair and stretched his legs out. Jaci growled.
"Snape you're going to…"
"Going to what?" Snape growled, he sat up glaring at her.
"First of all you're going to tell me what happened to me, second you're going to leave and third you're never going to see me again." Snape laughed.
"That last one was a bit amusing wasn't it?" he continued laughing until Jaci could take it no more, she quickly shot out her good leg and made connection with his face. Snape groaned as blood seeped out from his lip. He wiped it with the back of his hand.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Jaci told him.
"The man who cares for you." Jaci snorted.
"Cares for me? Please Snape don't make me laugh my head hurts. You don't care for me, you care only for yourself and fulfilling your dream of killing Voldemort." Snape's head shot up. "Oh yeah, I know about your little scam, you make the Dark one pretend you're on his side but in all reality you're on Dumbledore's side, you think you've got me all figured out Snape, but you don't, you never will." With that, Jaci turned her head, leaving Snape in stunned silence.
"How—how did you figure it out?" Snape said, putting a dent in his pride. Jaci snorted.
"Please, it was easy, you could read it right away." With that Snape began laughing.
"Sure, of course you could, that's why you were so stunned when you discovered I wasn't like the rest of your father's friends." Jaci rolled her eyes.
"Okay, at first it was a bit hard, but after I got through to you, it was easy to read, easy to understand what it was you were trying and wanted to do. That and I see the way that you are with Dumbledore, you admire him over everyone else." Snape had to stare at her on that one, he wasn't the type who could be read like a book, but she'd read through the front cover, the story, and even the author's note on him. He shook his head.
"Jaci I…"
"Need to leave. I told you I don't wish to speak with you, at all." She turned on her side once more. Snape growled. She hadn't read through all of him, she still knew how to tick him off, and she was going to have to get the consequences.
"You're going to listen to me Jaci." Jaci laughed, then drew in sharp breath as her sore head began to pound with pain. "You have to hear what I have to say, what I need to say to you." His voice rose a few degrees until it was warm and soft. Jaci's curiosity got the best of her and she turned to look at him. He was still sitting back in the chair, but his eyes were closed as if he dared not to look at her.
"What do you want Snape?" Snape took a deep breath, not opening his eyes once.
"First of all, I want you to stop calling me Snape, my name is Severus, call me that."
"How about I call you asshole?" Snape let his breath in a sharp hiss.
"Please, I'm trying to contain myself and tell you what I need to."
"Oh I'm sorry, by all means continue."
"And no sarcasm." Snape took another deep breath. "I don't know where to start, or how to start."
"Why not from the beginning? That always helps." Snape smiled, eyes still closed.
"You and your smart mouth." He took another deep breath. "All right, I'll start to a bit before I met you. You see, my childhood was…" In Snape's mind memories flashed of screaming parents, a small child always in dark corners crying after being beaten, a mother who'd claw the child with her nails each time the child did something wrong, a father who wanted him to be at the top of everything and hurt him if he wasn't. "I wasn't the best a kid could have. I was lost half the time, then I got here and a made a few friends like Lucius for example and…"
Snape went on to explain everything. The reasons why he had joined Voldemort and then backed out and became a double agent for Dumbledore. How he made himself an enemy against the children at the school, how he was cruel, mean and cold.
"And it just sort of kept going like that for 14 years, then the Dark Lord sent me to go to your father, and well you know the rest."
"Yes I do." Jaci's own voice surprised her. It was low and quiet, not her usual loud and thunderous voice. Snape took another deep breath and he was about to continue, but Jaci placed a hand on his shoulder and his head snapped up and he opened his eyes. He looked at her and was surprised to see that her cheeks were wet with tears. He hadn't even heard her crying. He quickly wiped them from her face.
Jaci closed her eyes as his fingers wiped the last of her tears from her face, he wasn't the gentlest man on the face of the earth, but at least he cared enough to want to do so. When he finished she opened her eyes and looked at him, her hand was still on his shoulder so she slowly removed it.
"You don't have to tell me anything anymore." Snape shook his head.
"I have to finish what I was…"
"No, because now I understand you a bit more. Now I get why you act so different, why you put a mask on in front of other people why you don't act like any normal wizard, I know more about you now and now I can understand you better when you do things." Severus sighed, that's what he wanted, for her to understand him, for her to know how difficult things were for him and how he wanted to share it with someone, anyone, but mainly her.
"Now I need to share with you what I need for you to understand." Jaci said. Severus nodded. Jaci smiled. "But first come closer." Severus looked at her weird but did as he was told. Jaci brought her hand to his cheek and gently kissed him. Severus looked at her surprised when she pulled back.
"Wh—why did you do that?" he asked. Jaci smiled.
"Isn't it obvious? I missed, even though I was killing myself trying to get myself to try to forget about you, to tell myself that I didn't need you, well I was lying to myself and…" Severus leaned forward and kissed her again, longer than the last one. Jaci grinned at him when they pulled back.
"I missed you too," he said. Jaci laughed, then she put on a serious face.
"Severus listen, I didn't want to tell you about the baby at first, I wanted to surprise you, but well, you know we got into sort of a fight and I thought that I didn't want to raise the child with you, but now I know what a mistake that was and I'm sorry that I wasn't more cooperate with you…"
"What? How could you say that? I know it was all my fault Jaci, all of it, don't even apologize at all, do you hear me?" Jaci nodded slowly, but there was more she needed to tell him, like her plan about Voldemort.
"I just got so scared you know? And then when Madam Pomfery told me that I lost the baby, I was so upset, I was so dumb and it was all my fault, I'm sorry that I lost the baby, Severus." Severus shook his head.
"It was all my fault and I've accepted that and now you need to accept that too." He took her hand gently in his.
"And I…"
"Ah Miss Cortez you've finally woken up." They both looked up as Madam Pomfery walked into the room. Severus cursed silently for her bad timing. But just then Professor Dumbledore walked in as well.
Jaci noticed that Severus hadn't let go of her hand yet and that was odd, when Dumbledore was around he made sure they had no physical contact, but now it was like he didn't care. She tried to remove her hand from his but he only held on tighter and glanced at her, she smiled so he was trying to change.
"Hello Miss Cortez," Dumbledore said, smiling and taking a seat next to Snape. Jaci smiled.
"Please Professor Dumbledore call me Jaci, I've asked you time and time again." Dumbledore laughed.
"All right then Jaci, but call me Albus." Jaci laughed.
"All right then Albus." All three of them laughed. Dumbledore gave a quick glance to Snape, but didn't make a comment.
"How are you feeling Jaci?" Dumbledore asked, patting the hand that rested on the bed fondly. Jaci smiled.
"Much, much better, thank you for letting me stay here." Dumbledore smiled.
"Of course, why would we send you off anywhere? You can stay here as long as you wish." Dumbledore rose and patted her hand once more. "I must go and speak with Professor McGonagall, Severus please meet me before dinner." Snape nodded and Dumbledore left. Jaci was about to open her mouth to finish telling Severus of her plan when Madam Pomfery began to shoo him out.
"Severus Snape she needs her rest now let her be, she can leave tomorrow, come by for her before lunch and she'll be ready." Snape looked down at Jaci and smiled.
"All right then." With that he kissed Jaci's forehead and walked out.
Jaci sighed and lay back against her pillows, maybe now wasn't the time to tell him. Yes, she shouldn't tell him just yet. Jaci smiled and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.