I'm very, very bad. I'm sorry this chapter took so long! The only excuse I have for you is that I'm a procrastinator. And an asshole. However, I hope you all enjoy this chapter enough to forgive me. Thanks to everyone for your great reviews! I'm sorry if I alarmed anyone with the last chapter title "Naked" :) It's just the name of the Avril Lavigne song that I excerpted in the beginning. I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah, blah, now on with the show.

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How can you see into my eyes
Like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
Without a soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back

Home ~Evanescence

~

It hurt. The words dug into his flesh, and he could feel it, his blood slowly pouring out of him, his knees wanting to give in, his body lying on the scratchy floor, on the ground where he belongs.

But he didn't. They were words, he reminded himself. Words that weren't true, words spoken by someone who didn't know anything. Who would never understand.

He hadn't noticed until now, how hard his teeth were clenched against each other, how his whole body had gone rigid, how pained and angry his stare towards Tonks was.

"You don't understand, Tonks," he elicited each word slowly, softly, maliciously. "You could never."

Tonks eyes were wide, and glinted strangely in the pale moonlight. Her voice was hoarse, and shook. "Why not, Remus? I miss him too. I loved—"

He leapt dangerously close to her, his hands clutching her shoulders, his eyes dark. She gasped in surprise and pain. "Remus…" she whispered painfully, her body weakly trying to fight his.

"Don't ever say you loved him. You could never understand. You could never… be worthy of loving him."

He spoke the words coldly, in a cruel whisper, but afterwards he was instantly surprised.

He let go of Tonks, and stumbled backwards, panting heavily as he leaned on a dusty wall. He stared, wide-eyed at his own hands, and looked at them as if there were blood on his fingers. Where had those words come from? Where had the grasp?

Tonks had slid to the floor, trying to control her violently trembling body, looking fiercely at him.

"So that's what this is all about," she said in a low voice, "You think you're special because he was your best friend, and not as much to us? You think you're the only one who deserves to grieve? You think you're the only one who loved him?" Her last words ended in a whisper, and she struggled to get up, to be face to face with him, eye to eye.

He didn't answer, only continued to stare down at his hands, and alternately looking terrified at Tonks.

She was standing her full height now, looking up at him, fists tight at her sides, and eyes shining with challenge. "So that's where your tears are? Can't shed them in front of us lowly mortals? Think you're the only one trying to be brave and holding it in, all high up on your throne?"

He turned now, looking her fully in the eyes, taking slow, agonizing steps toward her, as she looked bewildered, backing up toward the bed.

"So should I do what you do, then, and cry myself to sleep every night?"

His satisfaction for hurting her only lasted a moment; his guilt and shame in causing her pain lasted so he couldn't forget.

~

Don't blink.

"Shut up, Remus," she whispered, her eyes aching, her throat throbbing, her heart breaking.

Don't blink.

"What, Tonks?" he said irritably, fingers pressing into his temples, eyes squeezed shut. "Hit a nerve?"

Don't blink.

He was wrong. He was stupid, he was wrong. She didn't… she was just moving on. Only when the pain was bad, and, oh, the pain was bad so often. It pounds her and pounds her, and sometimes she can't hold it in. Normal. Yes, it was normal. Not every night.

"I don't have to take this," she whispered at him, eyeing the door. "It's you. You're the one not… moving on. I'm fine. I'm the fine one."

Don't blink.

His eyes shot open, and he looked at her, hard. "And I have to take it? I have to be told that there's something wrong with me, that I'm being cold and selfish?" His voice rose. "I have to be told by YOU that I'm somehow wronging Sirius?"

She said nothing, just rose shakily to her feet and walked toward the door.

Don't blink, don't blink, don't blink.

His voice coming from behind her made her stop.

"You haven't moved on. You lecture about… closure… yet, you're just a hypocrite. That's why you cry at night, why you have to practice smiling in your bedroom, why you can't eat, why… you write letters to Sirius asking him to forgive you."

Don't blink.

She blinked. And her shoulders shook and her legs collapsed and her tears came and came and came.

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Reviews are always greatly appreciated :) Thanks to everyone who's reviewed me so far. I'll definitely try to get the next chapter up sooner, but with school starting it's a bit hard (blasted!). I live for your feedback.