(Song lyrics used in this chapter are the property of EVANESCENCE I take no
credit for them whatsoever)
Back at the CSI building Sara checked the clock on the wall, grabbed her bag and left. Back at her house she got onto her couch, pulled out her diary and begun to write:
It seems almost too easy so when the thought first struck me I almost didn't follow it. It kept on coming again and again and again. You eat food you gain weight therefore you eat less food you lose weight. Simple yet effective. I am not going to swallow bite chew or even think about food without punishing myself for it. Food is an enemy and its duty is to work on me and make me fat. I no longer lie in bed and count sheep rather I count calories and amounts and plan and plan and plan until my mind is nothing but a field of numbers and lies and even though it may sound confusing this is my life. I choose this life and I choose to take it down this path. It's not bad for me its liberating me.
Closing her diary Sara placed it on her coffee table before curling up on the couch and falling asleep
The next day, in the corridor of the CSI building
"Hey Warrick"
"Hey Catherine, what's up?"
"Nothing much" Catherine replied and spotting Nick down the corridor yelled hello to him. Her morning had started off pretty well, she was going to go and find Sara but Greg called her into the lab 'I'll find her later' Catherine thought.
Later that morning in Grissoms office
"Ok everyone" Grissom says looking around
"Well almost everyone, Nick where's Sara?"
"Beats me, Catherine?"
"No idea"
Just as Catherine spoke Sara walked into Grissoms office, Catherine gave her a worried look then turned back to Grissom who tells everyone, but Sara, to leave.
"Nice of you to join us, I don't know if you realise this Sara but we all work here, we all are expected to put in 100% and unfortunately you can't just show up......." He looks up at the clock "45 minutes late"
"I slept in ok!" Sara stormed out and Grissom followed her into the corridor
"Sara come back in here"
"Just because you're in charge it doesn't mean you own me!"
"I don't think I own you but you work here ok and I don't want Warrick or Nick or Catherine to have to pick up your slack ok, if you're meant to be here at a certain time be here then ok"
"Ok whatever"
"No not whatever Sara we all have to work here and we don't deserve your attitude" before Grissom had time to walk off Sara was already halfway down the corridor. Catherine approached Grissom
"Don't you think you were a bit hard on her obviously she's going through a hard time"
"Catherine if Sara's going through a hard time and won't tell me about it I will give her the same treatment I would to anyone ok but it's her decision not to talk"
"Ok then, it just frustrates me"
"Catherine it's probably nothing ok, if it were serious she would talk to you I mean you guys have gotten so much closer since she got here"
"Yeah I guess so" but Catherine wasn't so sure maybe Sara was so deep down that she couldn't get out or ever call for help, 'Who can save her' Catherine thought 'if anyone'.
Catherine walked back into her office and turned on the radio
You're too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be
But I, I know who you really are
You're the one who cries when you're alone
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape
You think that I can't see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You're left to face yourself alone
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape
I realize you're afraid
But you can't abandon everyone
You can't escape
You don't want to escape
I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can't even hear me screaming
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape
I realize you're afraid
But you can't reject the whole world
You can't escape
You won't escape
You can't escape
You don't want to escape
Back at the CSI building Sara checked the clock on the wall, grabbed her bag and left. Back at her house she got onto her couch, pulled out her diary and begun to write:
It seems almost too easy so when the thought first struck me I almost didn't follow it. It kept on coming again and again and again. You eat food you gain weight therefore you eat less food you lose weight. Simple yet effective. I am not going to swallow bite chew or even think about food without punishing myself for it. Food is an enemy and its duty is to work on me and make me fat. I no longer lie in bed and count sheep rather I count calories and amounts and plan and plan and plan until my mind is nothing but a field of numbers and lies and even though it may sound confusing this is my life. I choose this life and I choose to take it down this path. It's not bad for me its liberating me.
Closing her diary Sara placed it on her coffee table before curling up on the couch and falling asleep
The next day, in the corridor of the CSI building
"Hey Warrick"
"Hey Catherine, what's up?"
"Nothing much" Catherine replied and spotting Nick down the corridor yelled hello to him. Her morning had started off pretty well, she was going to go and find Sara but Greg called her into the lab 'I'll find her later' Catherine thought.
Later that morning in Grissoms office
"Ok everyone" Grissom says looking around
"Well almost everyone, Nick where's Sara?"
"Beats me, Catherine?"
"No idea"
Just as Catherine spoke Sara walked into Grissoms office, Catherine gave her a worried look then turned back to Grissom who tells everyone, but Sara, to leave.
"Nice of you to join us, I don't know if you realise this Sara but we all work here, we all are expected to put in 100% and unfortunately you can't just show up......." He looks up at the clock "45 minutes late"
"I slept in ok!" Sara stormed out and Grissom followed her into the corridor
"Sara come back in here"
"Just because you're in charge it doesn't mean you own me!"
"I don't think I own you but you work here ok and I don't want Warrick or Nick or Catherine to have to pick up your slack ok, if you're meant to be here at a certain time be here then ok"
"Ok whatever"
"No not whatever Sara we all have to work here and we don't deserve your attitude" before Grissom had time to walk off Sara was already halfway down the corridor. Catherine approached Grissom
"Don't you think you were a bit hard on her obviously she's going through a hard time"
"Catherine if Sara's going through a hard time and won't tell me about it I will give her the same treatment I would to anyone ok but it's her decision not to talk"
"Ok then, it just frustrates me"
"Catherine it's probably nothing ok, if it were serious she would talk to you I mean you guys have gotten so much closer since she got here"
"Yeah I guess so" but Catherine wasn't so sure maybe Sara was so deep down that she couldn't get out or ever call for help, 'Who can save her' Catherine thought 'if anyone'.
Catherine walked back into her office and turned on the radio
You're too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be
But I, I know who you really are
You're the one who cries when you're alone
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape
You think that I can't see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You're left to face yourself alone
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape
I realize you're afraid
But you can't abandon everyone
You can't escape
You don't want to escape
I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can't even hear me screaming
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape
I realize you're afraid
But you can't reject the whole world
You can't escape
You won't escape
You can't escape
You don't want to escape