Sara's heart skipped a beat; the knife, which she held so tight in her hand, was pressing down on her wrist, hard, but not hard enough.
The knock came again.
Sara didn't know what to do. The door was locked she never forgot to lock doors.
The door handle turn and Sara cursed to herself to try and be better at remembering things. She threw the knife down, put on a smile and as Catherine opened the door she walked right past her.
"Sara" Catherine called after her
Sara didn't reply. She could hear Catherine's footsteps after her and her pace fastened but Catherine reached her.
"Listen Sara what was that about"
"What?" Sara replied half annoyed
"Listen Sara its so obvious something is wrong, why wont you talk to me?"
"Catherine I know we work together and I'm so glad that we are friends but seriously there is nothing wr…." Sara couldn't get the last word our for suddenly she lost her balance and fell to the ground.
"SARA!!!!!!!" Catherine screamed
"Catherine are you ok" Warrick called down the hall and as he approached he saw Sara
"Shit Catherine you killed her"
"don't joke Warrick she just fell down"
"Want me to get Grissom"
"I don't know if that will help, lets just get her up"
half an hour later in the CSI kitchen. Sara sits at a table sipping a glass of water. Catherine and Warrick Sit there also.
"Listen Sara we cant just stand by and watch you like this" Catherine says with a slight pleading tone
"Like what?" Sara replied half annoyed
"Like a totally different person, your not the Sara we know its almost like you've been taken over by someone else" Catherine replied
"And Warrick do you think this too" Sara said shooting an icy glare at him
"Yea Sara actually I do, but.." Warrick stated and looked at Catherine "If you say nothing is wrong we will leave you alone but if you ever want to talk…"
"I wont ok, thanks for CARING" Sara scream the last word and walked out, luckily she had got some energy back so she actually could walk.
"Warrick you know perfectly well that Sara is not well"
"I know I know but obviously we are not making it ant better by bugging her aobut it"
"Maybe its just man problems"
"You think" Warrick answered
"I hope so"
They both left the kitchen Warrick went off to follow up some evidence and Catherine went to the testing room, curious as to what Sara was doing in there. She opened the door, everything looked in place, just as it had previously in the morning way before Sara had been in there. What had Sara done in there? Catherine thought. Just as She was about to leave she spotted the knife on the floor, her heart skipped a beat. No Sara she thought don't do this too me.
Next morning in Grissoms office
"Catherine, Warrick, Nick I've…" he looks around then continues "Where's Sar…"
the phone rings
"Oh hi Sara" "yeah" "oh ok" "how long?" "You sure?" "Ok then bye"
"I guess that was Sara?" Catherine asks
"Yeah" Grissoms relies "She taking her leave three month early
"Why?" Nick Warrick and Catherine say in unison
"She didn't say" Grissom replied and after seeing his colleagues faces continued "Why what's wrong?"
"Nothing" they say and start to walk out, all but Catherine who stops for a moment
"Catherine are you ok?" Grissom asks
"Yeah yeah fine just worried aobut Sara"
"Why?"
"Nah its ok I'm sure its nothing"
Catherine walked out and left Grissom in his office.
Outside Sara residence Catherine stands wondering whether she should enter or not, she decides against it.
This continues for the next two months. Catherine never goes in and Sara never answers her calls.
One month later in the CSI building, a women walks towards the main desk that is unattended. She's wearing a baseball cap and large black sunglasses that make her look slightly like Audrey Hepburn except this ladies face is far gaunter.
Seeing this lady waiting unattended Catherine approaches her
"Hi I'm Catherine how can I help you"
"I know your name it hasn't been that long" the lady replies half annoyed
"I'm sorry " Catherine says wondering who this lady is.
The lady takes off her glasses and Catherine is wuite taken back for the lady before her eyes is no stranger but her very own fellow CSI Sara.
"Jus Sara what have you done to yourself"
"What do you mean?"
"Come with me we need to have a serious talk"
"Nice to see you too Catherine" Sara replied sarcastically
CSI KITCHEN: nick Warrick and Grissom sit as the table as Catherine and Sara enter (Sara now has her glassed back on)
"Catherine visitors aren't allowed in here without a pass, sorry miss but you'll haveta go to main desk and fill out a fo…" Catherine cuts him off
"Grissom its Sara"
"SARA" the three men say in unison
"You look errr different" Warrick says
"Yeah it's the new me " Sara says, smiles and goes to her desk knowing that its going to be harder to hide her "new self"
For the past three months Sara had lived off Diet Soda and raw vegies, as well as running around her block for hours after eating the smallest bite. It was a surprise that she could even stand.
Later that night as Sara writes in her diary:
If you talk about your problem you get a hug and its all meant to be fine, you walk off and your helper feels fulfilled but really you're not helped at all, you just spoke the most amazing amount of bullshit but it made them feel better, didn't it. Or else you could just not let them know how u feel in the first place, you know smile ands say "I'm fine" and slowly week by week day by day minute by minute you get shook up like a champagne bottle until eventually you pop and all hell breaks lose. Your lies become undone. One lie becomes ten lies, which becomes your life. U lie to live but it's what you're used to.
That's why I choose to stay silent, the happiest of happiest to everyone but me. But I won't have to deal with lying anymore by tomorrow afternoon I wont exist anymore I wont have to look at THIS in mirror anymore.
NEXT MORNING CSI building
Sara walks in as though the previous day in the office didn't happen. Past Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Grissoms she smiles and goes to her desk where she places her bag.
She then walks off to the testing room to search for a sharp knife. She finds one it looks sharps she know this will do.