A/N: the Song is "Unsung" by Vanessa Carlton. I love it. I got her CD
today, and it's what got me thinking like Kagome, or at least I hope so.
*nods* It's not my best work, it switches between thoughts and action... so
sorry about that.... *shrugs* I couldn't think of a good way to do that...
Review, let me know what I could do better. :) Ja Ne!
~~
Another morning of getting ready for a week in the feudal era. Another week of tantrums.... another week of monsters and fits being pitched by him. My mind rolls over the thoughts of dealing with another week of him yelling and emotional abuse from Inu Yasha. The fights and the running and the biting comments from his end. I turn on the radio in my room as I pack another week's worth of spare clothes and soap.
'If only I could get into that corner of your head, where things finally match and meet the standards that you set....'
the words invaded my head as I continued to pack. I thought about how Inu Yasha kept everything inside of his head-- kept his emotions to himself, kept his past and his feelings for Kikyo, and where she fell in his life.... in his heart, locked inside. 'What I wouldn't give to see what he thinks about....'
'Oh how I wish I was the treasure that you were lookin' for, bet I would feel better if I could find the door....'
His treasure. 'That damn jewel.' I felt myself frown inwardly as I found myself wishing that he could simply care for me as much as that damn thing. So I couldn't make his wishes come true, so what? So, I'm not as good as a little ball of pure energy. Well too bad. 'I want out.' I sat myself down on my bed and angrily folded my arms across my chest. 'I'm not going back, and I'm not going to find those stupid shards. I'm not going to be a 'thing' anymore.' I felt tears begin to streak down my face.
'I am cryin', you aren't tryin', I am melting away....'
You aren't trying. You don't try and make me feel like someone..... except when you held me so close... that one time when you sealed the well.... but it was odd. you pulled me so close, and then pushed me so hard away....
'I wait for the words on the tip of your tongue, I'm only as good as the last one....'
Dammit. You would say that. You'd say that I wasn't as good as her. You'd say that to my face, and you'd mean it... you'd mean every second of it, with all of your heart, and there would be no taking it back-- you'd try after I began to cry, but I know deep down inside that I'm not as good as her.
'Well you decide and I abide, as my song goes unsung.....'
and you say it, and I just go with it. I move on, accepting apology after apology. No more. How many times can I let you hurt me like this? How long must I ignore how I feel?
'Things are goin' crazy and I'm not sure who to blame everything is changing and I do not feel the same....'
Everything is out of hand.... traveling back and forth-- more than that-- how I feel for you. my emotions swing so violently when I'm with you, and I feel like I should tell you that it's your fault, but somehow I know it's not-- I look into your eyes and nothing is your fault.... and I let you have that kind of control over me....
'I'm slipping through the cracks of floors I thought were strong, I'm tryin' to find a place where I can feel like I belong.....'
Here, there? I don't know. I only feel right when I'm with you. that's why I hate you. because you took my life and turned it upside down.... took my heart and claimed it as your own, I have to wonder how many other girls you have strung along-- not that you're that type, you're just charming in an obnoxious way, I know there must be a plethora of girls who follow you like puppy dogs when they see you-- how can they not?
'If I could be the lesson that you learn, you learn if only I could be the last one that love burns, it burns.....'
Yeah, If I could, I'd teach you a thing or two about how to treat a girl. If I could, if I had that power over you, you'd understand what it felt like to be stung by a broken heart-- to be consumed and to be spurned. Like me. you'd understand me.... so much better.
as the song finishes, repeating the chorus, I feel strength in my heart, and my feelings... in my actions that I'm slowly planning out in my head. I thoughtlessly plod down the stairs to gather some ramen for the following week, I count the seconds until he unceremoniously opens the door and yells for me to come.
That's when my plan will come into action.
~~
Another morning of getting ready for a week in the feudal era. Another week of tantrums.... another week of monsters and fits being pitched by him. My mind rolls over the thoughts of dealing with another week of him yelling and emotional abuse from Inu Yasha. The fights and the running and the biting comments from his end. I turn on the radio in my room as I pack another week's worth of spare clothes and soap.
'If only I could get into that corner of your head, where things finally match and meet the standards that you set....'
the words invaded my head as I continued to pack. I thought about how Inu Yasha kept everything inside of his head-- kept his emotions to himself, kept his past and his feelings for Kikyo, and where she fell in his life.... in his heart, locked inside. 'What I wouldn't give to see what he thinks about....'
'Oh how I wish I was the treasure that you were lookin' for, bet I would feel better if I could find the door....'
His treasure. 'That damn jewel.' I felt myself frown inwardly as I found myself wishing that he could simply care for me as much as that damn thing. So I couldn't make his wishes come true, so what? So, I'm not as good as a little ball of pure energy. Well too bad. 'I want out.' I sat myself down on my bed and angrily folded my arms across my chest. 'I'm not going back, and I'm not going to find those stupid shards. I'm not going to be a 'thing' anymore.' I felt tears begin to streak down my face.
'I am cryin', you aren't tryin', I am melting away....'
You aren't trying. You don't try and make me feel like someone..... except when you held me so close... that one time when you sealed the well.... but it was odd. you pulled me so close, and then pushed me so hard away....
'I wait for the words on the tip of your tongue, I'm only as good as the last one....'
Dammit. You would say that. You'd say that I wasn't as good as her. You'd say that to my face, and you'd mean it... you'd mean every second of it, with all of your heart, and there would be no taking it back-- you'd try after I began to cry, but I know deep down inside that I'm not as good as her.
'Well you decide and I abide, as my song goes unsung.....'
and you say it, and I just go with it. I move on, accepting apology after apology. No more. How many times can I let you hurt me like this? How long must I ignore how I feel?
'Things are goin' crazy and I'm not sure who to blame everything is changing and I do not feel the same....'
Everything is out of hand.... traveling back and forth-- more than that-- how I feel for you. my emotions swing so violently when I'm with you, and I feel like I should tell you that it's your fault, but somehow I know it's not-- I look into your eyes and nothing is your fault.... and I let you have that kind of control over me....
'I'm slipping through the cracks of floors I thought were strong, I'm tryin' to find a place where I can feel like I belong.....'
Here, there? I don't know. I only feel right when I'm with you. that's why I hate you. because you took my life and turned it upside down.... took my heart and claimed it as your own, I have to wonder how many other girls you have strung along-- not that you're that type, you're just charming in an obnoxious way, I know there must be a plethora of girls who follow you like puppy dogs when they see you-- how can they not?
'If I could be the lesson that you learn, you learn if only I could be the last one that love burns, it burns.....'
Yeah, If I could, I'd teach you a thing or two about how to treat a girl. If I could, if I had that power over you, you'd understand what it felt like to be stung by a broken heart-- to be consumed and to be spurned. Like me. you'd understand me.... so much better.
as the song finishes, repeating the chorus, I feel strength in my heart, and my feelings... in my actions that I'm slowly planning out in my head. I thoughtlessly plod down the stairs to gather some ramen for the following week, I count the seconds until he unceremoniously opens the door and yells for me to come.
That's when my plan will come into action.