Hi all! Yes, it's been quite a long time since I've updated and I've got no excuse beyond the fact that work sapped all my energy to continue with this fic. Add to it a little bit of writer's block, and developing interests in other titles [Kyou Kara Maou, Samurai 7, Samurai Champloo, Gungrave and re-watching Fruits Basket], pretty much led to a sudden deficiency in the writing. Thankfully, I have had some new ideas popping up and I just need to see how to work them into the fic. Nope, I haven't given up yet!

PS: Just to remind readers – This fic is derived from canon [anime and manga] but not following actual canon itself. So if you've wondered why Musou has Toukijin, it is my creative liberties in writing this fic to suit my story. Frankly speaking, I would have no idea what to do with Goshinki and besides, it'll be such a pointless battle since Sess possesses Tessaiga here.

Bern. [24/7/2004]

Chapter 18: Reminiscence of Hearth and Home

Higurashi House, Tokyo

Early morning

He left his eyes closed and instead focused on the sounds and scents around him. The strongest scent was that of the girl he had found again after all those months of wondering. Her scent permeated the room he was lying in and it served to soothe his weary body and soul. Sesshoumaru had tried to refuse himself from allowing such sentimentality but it was doing little good. It had been a long time since he felt such comfort even if his body was still incredibly sore and bruised. Outside, he could hear the chirping and twittering of the birds that lived on the grounds of the shrine further adding to the tranquillity of the place.

"Sooooutaaaa!!"

Sesshoumaru's eyes flew open and he winced from the shrill yell outside the room. It seemed that the early morning peace would quickly fade into a memory as he heard the thundering of footsteps past his door. A few seconds later, he heard the answering squeal from the young boy as he attempted to escape his sister's wrath. A loud scuffling broke out before a piercing wail resounded from the small boy.

"I didn't mean to!" came the loud cry and a thump was heard. Another sputtering sob was heard and Sesshoumaru tensed for the invariable crying that was about to happen. Instead, Kagome's loud complaints drowned out the sniffling.

"If you didn't mean to then why am I going to be late for school? I told you to put them back after using so that I can just pack it in," came the annoyed reply. "Now I can't find half of them since Buyo's probably carried them off somewhere!"

"Children, please," came the soothing voice of their mother. "You'll wake our guest with your shouting. Really Kagome, I thought you would know better than to shout at your brother so early in the morning."

"I'm sorry, Mama," came the repentant chorus. And silence returned. At least, what could be considered as silence after the boisterous chaos from a moment ago. A minute later, a soft knock sounded and the door opened. An embarrassed and contrite pair of siblings stood there and Kagome stuttered an apology. Souta's eyes were teary but he managed a bow instead. Mrs Higurashi smiled gently at him over their heads before shooing the two of them off.

"I hope you'll excuse them, Sesshoumaru-san," she said. "It seems that they always make a morning ritual of arguing before they head off for school. I hope the noise didn't wake you from your rest." She nodded once more and gently closed the door behind her.

Sesshoumaru remained on the bed, his eyes now wide open and wondering if he should chance his own world than to remain in Kagome's. It looked like it was going to be a long convalescence…

Three days previously,

Kagome felt her heart lurch at the sound of his voice and instantly stilled. He continued to hold her tightly within his arms, his breathing now heavier, almost ragged. She felt a nervousness blossoming in the pit of her stomach and wondered why he refused to release her. After all, had he not made it clear several times in the past that her presence was not the most welcoming thing on the planet to him? But here he was, in her world and time, embracing her tightly as though he was afraid she would disappear if he were to let go. Unconsciously, Kagome began to respond to it and her body relaxed in the closeness. That is, until she felt him beginning to pull her down.

"Sesshoumaru," she began, struggling to maintain standing against the increasing weight resistance. "Sesshoumaru, you're leaning too heavily. I can't support you!"

Through the fog in his mind, Sesshoumaru could feel the weakening of his strength and coupled with the soft, soothing comfort of the girl's scent, it made it that much harder to remain conscious. Forcing back the dizziness, he pushed to regain his footing, only to groan as the open wounds throbbed painfully under the sudden strain. He could see that Kagome had managed to turn around and her wide-open eyes taking in the severity of his condition. Almost growling at the indignity of appearing so frail and needy, he tried to push away from the support she provided. It was a big mistake.

Kagome gave a small cry when Sesshoumaru began to slump backwards, his eyes rolling up into his head as his knees crumpled. Instinctively reaching out, Kagome grabbed the bloodstained haori, pulling him into her arms to prevent his head from meeting the shrine's flagstones. His weight pressed into her forcing her down to her knees but she bore it as she tried to ascertain his consciousness. Mindful of his sensitive hearing, she whispered his name several times but only shallow rasping breaths answered her worried pleas. As Kagome's mind frantically raced at the things to do, she did not hear the swiftly approaching footsteps until her mother's voice called out.

"Kagome, what happened? Who is this man?" Mrs Higurashi began as she took in the bleeding wounds and bruises. As she looked harder, her eyes widened at the strange markings and in particular the pointed ears and thick furry boa. "Kagome, is this the man, um, youkai that looked after you when you disappeared into the well?"

Still cradling the seemingly unconscious taiyoukai, Kagome nodded as her eyes began to tear. "Oh Mama," her voice wavered, "I-I don't know what happened but he's very badly hurt. What can we do?"

Mrs Higurashi's brow furrowed in consideration and she made a decision. The taiyoukai had taken her daughter in and saved her on more than one occasion during the time she was in his world; he therefore deserved the same in return at the very least. Stooping down, Mrs Higurashi told Kagome to help support Sesshoumaru's left side while she supported his right. In a concerted effort of heaving and pulling, they managed to drag him into the house and were about to place him on the couch, when Sesshoumaru's eyes fluttered open.

"Who--" he muttered as he took in the older woman that bore a resemblance to Kagome. "Where am I?" He pushed himself to stand up but the ground kept tilting. His eyesight kept blurring and the strange place with its overpowering scents he was in discomfited him further.

"Sesshoumaru-san," Mrs Higurashi introduced herself, "I'm Kagome's mother and I would like to return the favour of caring for my daughter while she was in your world. Please accept my help as repayment for all you've done." She bowed low to the taiyoukai, in deference to him.

Gaping at her mother's courteous behaviour, Kagome was also taken aback by Sesshoumaru's polite nod of acceptance. The older woman smiled happily and asked if he could assist them in taking him upstairs. Together, the three of them made their way to the guestroom when Sesshoumaru paused before Kagome's door. His vision was fading and black spots were once more dancing before him. Inclining his head towards Kagome's room, he took in a deep breath as the door was quickly opened.

After the two females guided him to the bed, the youkai lord almost groaned in bliss of finally resting on a soft surface. The scent of Kagome washed through and about him before he finally allowed the blackness to sweep him away.

He stood on the top of the cliff, his eyes trained on the lone figure before him. The wind had picked up and it caused the sleeves and hair of the man to dance in its path. Sesshoumaru felt unsure of himself, there was something so lost about him that it tugged deep at his soul. The moon had begun to rise towards its zenith and now washed over the Western Lands with its silver-gold light. The figure continued its vigil as though waiting for something or someone. Finally, after what seemed like hours or perhaps mere moments, his voice broke through the heavy silence.

"Tell me, Sesshoumaru," came the deep, pain-filled baritone. "Have you found someone to protect with your life? Someone who demanded nothing less than your soul but to whom you would willingly give yet expecting nothing in return?"

Sesshoumaru wanted to answer the question but he had none to give. His head lowered a little, as the conflict within him grew at the question's meaning. How could he sacrifice himself so easily with nothing to gain in return? What could be so important that his very own father was succumbing to it? His mother's death had broke the great youkai's heart once before; now it was the death of a human princess that shattered the fragile pieces once more, now beyond all hope of mending. Sesshoumaru felt his claws dig into the palms of his hands as he recalled the tragic day when his stepmother had been found dead. From then on, his father had given up all hope on living.

"My time has come," the great lord spoke once more. "And now it is time for you to take my place as the new Lord of these lands."

"Father," Sesshoumaru finally broke his silence. "Please, Father, I'm not ready…"

The great youkai lord turned to face his only son and sole heir to his legacy. Although he looked like a man barely touching forty, his eyes held the knowledge of a thousand winters. He took in the visage of the younger youkai and a small, sad smile crossed his features. Taking in a short breath, he turned once more to stare into the infinite distance. Behind him, Sesshoumaru struggled to contain the hurt and anger that threatened to overwhelm him. As he continued to look, it appeared that the taiyoukai lord was fading into the moonlight, his shadow barely lingering before it vanished completely.

The moonlit sky seemed to merge into a liquid swirl as Sesshoumaru continued to stare at where his father had stood moments before. His hand reached up to touch his face and came away damp with a strange liquid he thought he had long forgotten existed. As the moon continued its silent trek across the midnight sky, the new Lord of the Western Lands transformed into his true inu youkai self and howled its mournful lament throughout the land. And through it all, the hidden heart of him cried out its forever unanswered questions.

'Why, Father? How could you leave me here alone? Am I not worthy enough to earn your devotion too? Is this Sesshoumaru truly that undeserving of your love?'

Author's Notes:

Another chapter down and now we move on to what is happening in the Sengoku Jidai. So what possessed me to write an angsty, melodramatic piece like this? I blame it on the premise of the Inuyasha Movie 3: Swords of an Honourable Ruler for the angsty bit. The minute I heard that there was going to be a movie on the background of the half-brothers, I knew that it would be a perfect means of tying in some of the loose threads that have been fluttering about. After all, I'm really too lazy to write an 'original' AU story. Heh…

Right, before you guys slam me for saying that Sess is really OOC here, let me just remind you that we are in an alternate reality fic. In this case, Sess became the new lord at an age that most would consider late puphood, ie: a teenager. Although he had been preparing for the role, it does not automatically mean that he was truly ready for it. Plus the fact that his father seemed to have lost his passion for life after Inuyasha's mother died, further adds to the complication. I'm not following canon; I'm merely utilising aspects of it for my story, so please bear this in mind. [I know it's a repeat of what I said above; just wanted to get the point across again.]

I also feel that although Sess's father cared for his son, he was also expecting a little too much out of the guy. I've played it in such a way that it seems that he had just died like that but in actual fact, the real death is different. I just made it into a dream sequence of sorts to play upon Sess's insecurities and of the feelings he would have had when his father passed away, thus forcing him into the role of the Western Lord. I'll eventually develop a better scenario of what happened but only much later. There are other things that need to be plotted out first, namely Naraku and his nasty plans. So until the next posting, ja mata ne!