Disclaimers remain the same as last chapter, thank you.
New characters this chapter:
Sir Daito, Head of Security,
Miss V, Head of Discipline,
Miss Jen, Assistant Headmistress
Karrie, submitted by Akiko
"Must you scream so loudly?" The Lemurian had followed her onto the deck and was now rubbing one of his ears as he watched her. "You'll wake up all of Weyard at this rate."
Tammi whirled around. "But this isn't real! It's just a dream! It has to be!"
The Lemurian grinned and walked over to her. He gave one of her cheeks a sharp pinch.
"Ow!"
"How very odd!" the man said, his smile widening. "You don't feel like a dream! And neither do I! Curious. Most curious." He stepped back, folding his arms as he did so. His smile soon became a thin frown. "Although, I do wish that your sort was only a nightmare."
She rubbed her cheek as she stepped away from the edge of the ship. The movement of the ship, combined with the fact that it was actually flying, made her feel a bit ill. "What is 'my sort' supposed to mean?"
The man laughed softly. "Come now, you can't honestly think that you're the only person who needs fanfiction help! Mercury knows you're not the only student attending OFUW in its first semester. We've picked up at least a dozen of your kind in the last week alone! You, dear girl, just happen to be the latest applicant."
Tammi shook her head and suddenly realized that something had happened to her hair. She grabbed a handful of it to see that it was much longer and much, much darker. She stared at it for a few seconds and squeaked.
It had turned a deep black color, the same shade she had always imagined Vynna's hair to be. She shook her head, grinning as she felt the long strands wave out behind her. She came to a stop and performed a small jump for joy.
She looked down to see black feathers littering the floor of the ship. She frowned, bent over, and picked one up. Turning to the Lemurian, she asked, "Where did this come from?"
He was stifling a laugh. "Why don't you shake your head like that again, and we'll find out."
She shrugged and obeyed, but this time she felt something sliding out from her hair. She came to a very sudden stop this time.
A few black feathers fell to the floor.
She ran a hand through her dark hair and shuddered. Her hand found one object in her hair, which she pulled out and stared at. She then screamed.
"I have feathers in my hair!"
The Lemurian finally couldn't contain his laughs. Between bursts of laughter, he managed to ask, "You put down 'raven-black' as your hair color, didn't you?"
Tammi twirled one strand of hair around her finger and nodded, resisting the urge to pout.
The man stood up, wiping some tears from his eyes. "Well, dear girl, you got raven-black. Complete with feathers. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there were some beaks and talons somewhere in there as well."
"That's not even funny!"
"Oh, but it's true, my dear author." He turned and walked to the edge of the boat, gazing over it.
"Hey, what's your name? I can't just keep calling you 'mister' or 'Lemurian' or something like that."
"My name is Jacob Crestt. I'm a Lemurian, as you guessed. I'm also an OC, so I won't be hanging around much."
"An OC? You mean an original character?"
"Well, it looks like at least someone knows her fanficcing terms. Though she doesn't know when they come into play on her own story!" Jacob still had his arms folded.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Never you mind. That's Miss Jen's department, not mine." He turned back to face her. "So, do you have any questions before we get to the school?"
"Do classes start today?"
"No, it's orientation week. You'll get your housing assignment, meet your roommate, that sort of thing. I think the staff will be presenting the rules and such to you first, though."
"The staff?"
"Well, Miss Jen and her fellow administrators for one, but the teachers as well. You know, Isaac and the entire crew."
Tammi began to happily salivate over the thoughts of Alex that danced through her head. She could just picture the way he'd react when he saw her . . . dropping to one knee, declaring his eternal love for her, the works!
Jacob raised his thin aqua eyebrows. "If I know that look as well as I think I do, you'd best get those thoughts out of your head. None of the teachers are in especially good moods right now, and under no circumstances will your," he struggled with the next words, as if they were poison, "lust object fall to his knees and declare undying love for you. To him, you're probably no more than a fangirl."
"I'm not just a fangirl! I'm a rabid fangirl!"
Jacob chuckled. "Join the ranks, girl." He looked over the edge and suddenly straightened. "Get your things together. We're almost there now."
"But . . . but I'm in my pajamas!"
"It was your choice to stand up here and talk to me instead of getting dressed. If you hurry, maybe you can still manage. Go, go!" He waved a hand at her.
She was putting on her socks when a knock sounded at the door.
"For heaven's sake, I'm almost done! Can't you hold on for one minute?" She grabbed her shoes and stomped over to the door, throwing it open. "What do you—gahhhhh . . ."
"We've landed, miss. I thought you should know, since you're a student . . . what are you staring at?"
Tammi said nothing. However, a long thread of drool was dripping onto the floor.
The Lemurian winced. "My ship . . . and I just waxed the floors too," he muttered. "All right, girl, put your shoes on. Jacob and the rest of my crew will take your luggage in."
"P-p-p-p-p . . ."
He forced a smile and grabbed the doorknob, pulling the door slightly closed. "Come on down to the grounds whenever you're ready!"
The door slammed shut.
"Picard!" Tammi screamed, realizing that she had just let the perfect chance slip out of her hands. She pulled her shoes on and tied the laces, trying to do so as fast as she could. However, as she was extremely nervous from what she had just seen, along with being distracted by the thought of meeting Alex, her fingers slipped several times and the shoelaces ended up in several spectacularly-sized knots.
Finally she gave up and just grabbed her backpack off the floor, running out onto the deck. "Picard! Wait for me!"
The boat had landed in a river near Contigo. Picard was nowhere in sight. Jacob, however, was standing on the shore, his arms folded.
"Let's get moving, girl! You're going to be late!"
When they finally arrived at what Jacob claimed to be the University, Tammi had to lean back to look at the buildings. They appeared to be fairly modern, clashing with the medieval atmosphere of nearby Contigo. The university had been built in the massive Crater that had once been the City of Anemos, according to legend.
A tall man bearing a sword at his side was ushering a flood of students into the hall. Tammi watched him with interest.
He's not from Golden Sun. Wonder if he's on staff with this . . . Miss Jen, I think her name was?
"We'll take your luggage up to your room," Jacob said, giving her a feeble pat on the shoulder. "Go on, enjoy. The staff members are going to introduce themselves to you and that sort of thing. I'm sure you'll be fine." He and the other Lemurians left. Tammi swallowed and stepped up to the sword-carrying man.
"Excuse me."
"Well, another new student then?" He looked down at her, blinking once.
"Yes. I'm Tammi Holmes."
"Well, you're very welcome to enter. Jen-sama has been keeping an eye on you, that she has. She's probably expecting you."
"Expecting me?"
"That she is. Now go on in! The discussion will start soon." He gave her a soft push toward the door. She had a chance to glance back and see him smiling and waving. Then the crowd engulfed her.
When she finally found her way to a chair, she was gasping for breath from being squashed in the crowd. "Anyone sitting here?" she asked a girl with long silver hair.
The girl looked up, her purple eyes wide, and gave Tammi a quick shake of the head. "No, go ahead and sit. I don't mind."
Tammi sat down and turned to the girl. "What an ordeal! I still don't believe any of this is real!"
"I know what you mean!" the girl replied. "One minute I'm typing up a sweet romance with Isaac and Mia, 'cause everyone loves those, right? The next thing I know I find Puelle, Briggs, and Agatio in my living room!" She grimaced when she mentioned Agatio's name. "Agatio was merely there as mental torture, I guess."
"I had Saturos there to torture me," Tammi interrupted, wrinkling her nose. "Anyway, I'm Tammi, or alexluvr4eva."
"My name's Karrie, but I go by iloveisaac4lyf when I'm fanficcing."
The two shook hands.
"So what's this all about, anyway?" Tammi asked, keeping as quiet as she could. The noise of the entire room had been reduced to no more than whisperings and murmurs.
"I don't know. I think it has to do with Miss Jen, the Headmistress or whoever she is. The one who sent all of us those forms."
"Oh, I see. The one that doesn't like creativity."
Karrie hid a snicker under one hand, but then suddenly stopped laughing. Her eyes became very large.
"What is it?" Tammi asked. "What's wrong?"
"I beg your pardon Miss Holmes, but I heard that just now." Tammi turned around to see a tall woman looming over her. "You see, I'm Miss Jen. And I tolerate creativity just fine, mind you. I'm a bit of an author myself, as a matter of fact. But you"—she stabbed a finger toward Tammi's face—"you have betrayed the canon, and I will not stand for that!"
Tammi stared up at the woman, attempting a grin. "C-canon? What's that?"
A wicked smile formed on the woman's face. "Oh yes, Miss Holmes. I'm going to have fun with you."
She vanished into thin air, leaving a few sparkles of Psynergy in her wake.
"Students, attention please!" The man from before, the one with the sword, was at the microphone. "Excuse me, we'd very much like your attention, that we would!"
When no one listened to him, a woman stood up and whispered something to the swordsman, who quickly sat down. She spoke into the microphone rather loudly. "If you do not give us your undivided attention this instant, each and every one of you will be paying my torture chamber a visit tomorrow morning."
That got the students to quiet down. The woman smiled, pushing some of her long, dark hair out of her eyes. "Thank you very much."
She retreated to her seat, and the woman who had been looming over Tammi appeared at the podium.
"Let's all give a big hand to Miss V, shall we?" She grinned at the other woman. "She's the Head of Discipline, you know!"
There was a chorus of groans.
"Anyway, welcome, one and all, to the Official Fanfiction University of Weyard! I'm the Assistant Headmistress at this facility, and on behalf of the staff I'd like to wish you a warm, cheery welcome!"
Tammi watched as the woman called Miss V pulled out a dagger and began polishing it.
"Here at OFUW, you'll be subject to the top-rate Golden Sun Fanfiction Education! We also have a variety of clubs and organizations available, along with . . ."
Karrie had become stiff in her seat, her mouth agape. Tammi frowned and poked her in the arm.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Don't you see them?" Karrie whispered. "They're all on the other side of the podium! Every last one of them!"
Tammi hazarded a glance in that direction and started to turn back to ask Karrie what she meant. However, at that very instant, her mind registered what she had just seen, and she most likely popped a bone or two in her neck as she snapped her had back to stare.
Isaac. Garet. Ivan. Mia.
Felix. Jenna. Sheba. Picard.
But the one that really drew her eye was the one figure on the end of the row of seats, looking rather bored with the whole discussion and yawning.
"Alex!" Without fully understanding what she was doing, she rocketed to her feet.
Miss Jen sent a bolt of lightning her way. "Sit, Miss Holmes! If you so much as even think about glomping at this University, I'll let the Minis have you! After Miss V is through with you, of course!"
Miss V looked up from her dagger and gave Tammi a wave, along with a tiny smirk.
Tammi sank back into her chair.
"As I was saying, this University was established for the sole purpose of teaching you the proper way of fanfic." Miss Jen held up her hands. "The faculty has arranged your classes for you according to your flaws and needs. There are some courses, like Basic Fanfiction 101, which are required. Other than that, your class schedules may differ quite a bit. This is to help ensure that you experience LTP in all its gory glory."
"LTP?" Tammi whispered to Karrie. "What's that?"
"Didn't you read the fine print?"
"What fine print?"
Karrie blushed. "Okay, so I didn't read it all either, but I remember catching something about LTP. Learning Through Pain, I think it stands for."
"You will also be meeting your roommates today!" Miss Jen continued. "I assure you that we have chosen them with utmost care for both of your interests. Room switching will not be allowed, and if you are caught attempting it, Miss V and the Minis will be given charge over you."
"What's a Mini?" Tammi asked.
"I don't know. And quit asking so many questions, they're all looking at us."
"Finally," Miss Jen said, and only now did Tammi realize how much of the speech she must have missed while caught up in her Alex fantasies, "if you fail here at OFUW, you will not be given another chance. You will not be given a license. You will be banned from the likes of the Golden Sun fanficcing community for as long as you may live. Any questions?"
One boy in the back raised his hand. "Don't you think that's a little harsh?"
Miss Jen narrowed her eyes. "Nothing, my dear boy, is too harsh at this University. It is my firm belief that anyone can pass if they put forth the effort. And if you still think I'm too harsh, I'll set you up in a battle with a dozen Minis. Then you can decide what's harsh."
There was a faint murmuring among the students.
"And now, I'm going to turn the time over to one of our chief faculty to speak to you about the curriculum," Miss Jen said. She stepped back from the podium and motioned.
Isaac sighed and got to his feet. At the moment he reached the podium, over half the girls in the room stood up.
There was a deafening screech of "Isaac!" from the combined crowd of fangirls. Tammi suddenly had the odd sensation of being trampled by Karrie, who was in a rush to get to the stage where her beloved was. Tammi managed to drag herself back into her chair and glance up at the stage, rubbing her shoulder, which Karrie had stomped on.
Alex was holding out his hand and chanting something. A ball of blue light was forming in his palm.
There was a bright flash, and in less than a moment, all the Isaac-stampeders had been knocked out and lay strewn across the floor.
"Thanks, Alex. What would we do without you?" Miss Jen sighed, rubbing her forehead with one hand.
Alex shrugged. "I don't have the quintessence of Alchemy for nothing." With that, he sat down.
Tammi stared at him through the remainder of the discussion.