Sorry for the really late update (and the short chapter) but I've been pretty busy lately with my new job and all. Also I actually had most of this chapter done almost 3 weeks ago but for whatever reason I didn't like it. I read over it again today trying to find somewhere to change it but I couldn't really and I still don't like it... but it's all I got so... yeah sorry if this chapter sucks
If you are confused about some of the events so far please read the notes at the ends of the chapter and 2&3 if you haven't. However please keep in mind that there are some things that you are meant to ponder on and not really know about until they are explained in later chapters (though some of you may figure it out before that).
Twist Of Fate
Chapter 4: Words in the Library
It had been nearly a week since he had brought Kagome to his castle and now he stood watching the girl as she watched Rin. There were certain things about her that he had noticed. Things that he practically knew were not right. She wore her own clothes as soon as they had been cleaned (though ger torn shirt had been replaced with a gi-top), very different from what she had worn every other time he saw her. Her legs completely covered, her shoes more durable, her shirt tucked in, loose to disguise her subtle curves and covering her from her neck to her wrists. Then when she wore the yukatas that were provided her he noticed that she tied them unnecessarily tight, as though she feared them falling off. She was nervous and tense whenever anyone came to re-dress her wounds and often insisted on doing it herself. Bathing and dressing were other things she had asked that she have utter privacy during, tolerating no assistance.
He looked down from the window, the miko not knowing that he was watching. Rin ran up to her and hugged her about the legs. The woman stiffened, briefly hugging the child back before trying to pull away. Then Rin went to take her hand but again Kagome seemed hesitant, finally allowing the child to take hold of her sleeve. She avoided being touched, even from Rin, it was as though she had expected pain to come with every bit of human contact.
If the changes were simply that he might have been so curious as he had become. But her personality had changed drastically as well. She was always nervous and edgy around people. As though waiting for them to pounce upon her or strike her. Perhaps Inu Yasha had struck her? Almost immediately the Western Lord dismissed the idea, his brother may have been a thoughtless, impulsive, moronic hanyou, but Sesshoumaru was sure their father had instilled at least that honor in him. "There is something you must remember Sesshou and you too Inu Yasha," he remembered his father's voice. At the time Inutaisho was really just talking to Sesshoumaru since his hanyou brother was only a year old at the time. "Women have their own strength, their own ways of being powerful."
"What do you mean by telling me this father?" The young Sesshoumaru had asked.
Inutaisho had smiled, apparently not feeling the need to answer the question. "I want you boys to promise me something, that you will never strike a woman when not in combat."
Sesshoumaru had been very confused at the time, "When else would someone hit another?" The memory then seemed to fade out with Inutaisho's laughter at his heir's remark. No, Inu Yasha would not have done something that stupid. Besides even if the hanyou had beat the woman with her frail human body she would have been in far worse physical condition then when he had found her. Besides it didn't explain why she was afraid to touch anyone.
Then there was the way she acted around Sesshoumaru himself. There was a different kind of nervousness about her, as though she did not trust what she was seeing, or was expecting... anticipating something. Yes that was it, and there was always conflict in her eyes when she looked at him... why? He did not speak with her often, more often than not if they were in the same room, like when eating. He would simply stare at her, or block her passage in the hall, waiting for her to burst with anger and annoyance.
But she never did, she would simply excuse herself and walk past, or make some similar polite gesture. Where she was once openly defiant, loud, and unafraid. She was now annoyingly quite and obedient. Like any other human in his presence.
If he wanted obedience he had Rin. If he wanted loyalty, Rin again and even that incompetent toad Jaken. If he wanted quite there were his many servants and most other beings he came across. The thing that he had thought made her worthy enough for him not to kill her so many times before. Where was that fire she had once had? And why did he want to see it again? The thing that made her unique amongst all the other pitiful creatures he had come across. What had happened to her that made her just like... any other human?
***
Kagome was getting worried, her knowledge of the future was fading in and out. If she didn't change things soon... change what? NO! she shook her head. She had to remember she couldn't bare it to see Sesshoumau die, not again. Not after he told her... She cut off the thought, he wouldn't say it, not this time. If he didn't fall for her this time he would live, she was sure of it. It was too late for her however, she loved him already, again, still,.. she wasn't sure which word would best describe the situation.
She shuddered a moment thinking about how he cornered her in the library the other day.
~*~*~
Kagome looked over the shelves, reading the spines of the books, pulling some out so that she could flip through a few pages. She did not really expect there to be any children's books but she wanted to have plenty of stories to tell Rin. She assumed with some minor editing on her part she should be able to find something appropriate. Besides, she thought, It will give me something to do alone.
Alone.
She was beginning to form a strong dislike for the word. When she could clearly remember her time with Sesshoumaru and not have him even though he was right there. "Inches in front of you, but miles away..." she whispered sadly. She was almost convinced for a moment that she was dead and in hell. To have all that she could have ever dreamed of (but never before dared to dream) ripped away from her then dangled in front of her face like a steak in front of a starving man. And she was starving, starving for the love she knew only Sesshoumaru could give her, and for a moment she knew exactly how Inu Yasha must have felt about Kikyou. "I must be in hell," she sighed, a tear sliding down her cheek.
"I take it you do not like the accommodations."
The miko jumped at the sudden voice spinning around to see Sesshoumaru on the other side of the aisle. For an instant she drowned in liquid gold, unable to speak or think. Her body wanted to act, to approach him, touch him, to relax against him. But just as quickly as she fell in she forced herself out of the pool. She shook her head, "I was not speaking of the accommodations, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Really?"
She nodded, turning her eyes down, needing a break from his hard gaze. He did not use to look at her like that. "I was thinking of..." you, "other matters."
"Well while you are thinking on 'other matters' perhaps you could answer me a simple question."
"And what's that?"
"When you awoke, you said, 'It's all going to happen again.'" he noticed the miko suddenly paled as she looked at him, "What did you mean by that?"
She turned her blue depths away again, "I... I don't know, perhaps I was still half dreaming..."
His eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion, if it were a mere dream she would not be afraid that I asked. "I doubt that somehow. After all you were awake and crying for some time before you spoke it."
For a moment she wondered just how long he was watching her that day. She shook her head, "I'm not sure.. I was scared... confused, I didn't know where I was... I don't know where it came from when I said it." She felt her throat try to snap shut and her lungs resist giving her air to speak, as though her very body hated that she lie to him as much as she did.
The youkai took a step forward grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him, she was lying. The idea in itself was not very surprised but the self loathing in her eyes at the fact. Masking his surprise he let her face go, moments before Kagome lost the loosing battle with herself, moments before she gave in to her love for him. Moments before she would have leaned in to kiss him.
"You had best not be lying to me," he warned darkly, the razor edge of his voice slicing through her heart, "Or else I will show you real hell."
In less time than it would have taken her to say his name he was gone. Tired and torn Kagome slowly dropped down to the ground where she hugged her knees to her chest and cried. And while she had not known, the Western Lord had not gone so far that he did not notice. He paused then and began to ponder on her tears.
~*~*~
He had heard what she said, and now he suspected something of her, but what? Should she use his suspicion to her advantage? She shook her head violently, It sounds like you're plotting against him! Besides it would probably only make him kill you. Yep... she thought, that's all you need Kagome, turn this whole situation into a Shakespearean Tragedy.... or is it Greek tragedy? She shook her head at the absurdity of it all, and alone in her room she allowed herself to laugh for a moment.
***
Sesshoumaru's ears perked up a bit at the short lived and foreign sound from somewhere in his home. So, he found himself thinking, she can still laugh.
--------------------------------------------
Ok it seems lots of people are still confused so lets see what I can do to remedy this as much as I can.
-First and foremost for those of you who didn't read it the first time the man who raped Kagome was just a random human-dirtbag. Just because she lives a strange life doesn't mean "normal" bad things can't happen to her for whatever reasons they normally occur. It was NOT Onigumo/Naraku or Sesshoumaru as someone thought it might be o_O
-Next, right now Kagome thinks that if she makes sure Sesshoumaru doesn't fall in love with her like last time he won't get injured protecting her and then die because of it. I will tell you now that she is wrong. BUT she has convinced herself that it is the answer because she is still too messed up emotionally and mentally to completely think this through.
-Last in previous chapters by "he" I meant the one who died the last time (in the prologue), and who she fell in love with.
-Most other things unfortunately you'll have to wait on as I plan to explain them and (hopefully) make them more clear in later chapters. Like Kagome's saviour. Sorry but I felt like being kinda cryptic with this one but all will eventually be explained. however I haven't ever really written anything in this kind of "oh you'll see" way before so please forgive me is in the end there are still things to be explained
If you are confused about some of the events so far please read the notes at the ends of the chapter and 2&3 if you haven't. However please keep in mind that there are some things that you are meant to ponder on and not really know about until they are explained in later chapters (though some of you may figure it out before that).
Chapter 4: Words in the Library
It had been nearly a week since he had brought Kagome to his castle and now he stood watching the girl as she watched Rin. There were certain things about her that he had noticed. Things that he practically knew were not right. She wore her own clothes as soon as they had been cleaned (though ger torn shirt had been replaced with a gi-top), very different from what she had worn every other time he saw her. Her legs completely covered, her shoes more durable, her shirt tucked in, loose to disguise her subtle curves and covering her from her neck to her wrists. Then when she wore the yukatas that were provided her he noticed that she tied them unnecessarily tight, as though she feared them falling off. She was nervous and tense whenever anyone came to re-dress her wounds and often insisted on doing it herself. Bathing and dressing were other things she had asked that she have utter privacy during, tolerating no assistance.
He looked down from the window, the miko not knowing that he was watching. Rin ran up to her and hugged her about the legs. The woman stiffened, briefly hugging the child back before trying to pull away. Then Rin went to take her hand but again Kagome seemed hesitant, finally allowing the child to take hold of her sleeve. She avoided being touched, even from Rin, it was as though she had expected pain to come with every bit of human contact.
If the changes were simply that he might have been so curious as he had become. But her personality had changed drastically as well. She was always nervous and edgy around people. As though waiting for them to pounce upon her or strike her. Perhaps Inu Yasha had struck her? Almost immediately the Western Lord dismissed the idea, his brother may have been a thoughtless, impulsive, moronic hanyou, but Sesshoumaru was sure their father had instilled at least that honor in him. "There is something you must remember Sesshou and you too Inu Yasha," he remembered his father's voice. At the time Inutaisho was really just talking to Sesshoumaru since his hanyou brother was only a year old at the time. "Women have their own strength, their own ways of being powerful."
"What do you mean by telling me this father?" The young Sesshoumaru had asked.
Inutaisho had smiled, apparently not feeling the need to answer the question. "I want you boys to promise me something, that you will never strike a woman when not in combat."
Sesshoumaru had been very confused at the time, "When else would someone hit another?" The memory then seemed to fade out with Inutaisho's laughter at his heir's remark. No, Inu Yasha would not have done something that stupid. Besides even if the hanyou had beat the woman with her frail human body she would have been in far worse physical condition then when he had found her. Besides it didn't explain why she was afraid to touch anyone.
Then there was the way she acted around Sesshoumaru himself. There was a different kind of nervousness about her, as though she did not trust what she was seeing, or was expecting... anticipating something. Yes that was it, and there was always conflict in her eyes when she looked at him... why? He did not speak with her often, more often than not if they were in the same room, like when eating. He would simply stare at her, or block her passage in the hall, waiting for her to burst with anger and annoyance.
But she never did, she would simply excuse herself and walk past, or make some similar polite gesture. Where she was once openly defiant, loud, and unafraid. She was now annoyingly quite and obedient. Like any other human in his presence.
If he wanted obedience he had Rin. If he wanted loyalty, Rin again and even that incompetent toad Jaken. If he wanted quite there were his many servants and most other beings he came across. The thing that he had thought made her worthy enough for him not to kill her so many times before. Where was that fire she had once had? And why did he want to see it again? The thing that made her unique amongst all the other pitiful creatures he had come across. What had happened to her that made her just like... any other human?
Kagome was getting worried, her knowledge of the future was fading in and out. If she didn't change things soon... change what? NO! she shook her head. She had to remember she couldn't bare it to see Sesshoumau die, not again. Not after he told her... She cut off the thought, he wouldn't say it, not this time. If he didn't fall for her this time he would live, she was sure of it. It was too late for her however, she loved him already, again, still,.. she wasn't sure which word would best describe the situation.
She shuddered a moment thinking about how he cornered her in the library the other day.
Kagome looked over the shelves, reading the spines of the books, pulling some out so that she could flip through a few pages. She did not really expect there to be any children's books but she wanted to have plenty of stories to tell Rin. She assumed with some minor editing on her part she should be able to find something appropriate. Besides, she thought, It will give me something to do alone.
Alone.
She was beginning to form a strong dislike for the word. When she could clearly remember her time with Sesshoumaru and not have him even though he was right there. "Inches in front of you, but miles away..." she whispered sadly. She was almost convinced for a moment that she was dead and in hell. To have all that she could have ever dreamed of (but never before dared to dream) ripped away from her then dangled in front of her face like a steak in front of a starving man. And she was starving, starving for the love she knew only Sesshoumaru could give her, and for a moment she knew exactly how Inu Yasha must have felt about Kikyou. "I must be in hell," she sighed, a tear sliding down her cheek.
"I take it you do not like the accommodations."
The miko jumped at the sudden voice spinning around to see Sesshoumaru on the other side of the aisle. For an instant she drowned in liquid gold, unable to speak or think. Her body wanted to act, to approach him, touch him, to relax against him. But just as quickly as she fell in she forced herself out of the pool. She shook her head, "I was not speaking of the accommodations, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Really?"
She nodded, turning her eyes down, needing a break from his hard gaze. He did not use to look at her like that. "I was thinking of..." you, "other matters."
"Well while you are thinking on 'other matters' perhaps you could answer me a simple question."
"And what's that?"
"When you awoke, you said, 'It's all going to happen again.'" he noticed the miko suddenly paled as she looked at him, "What did you mean by that?"
She turned her blue depths away again, "I... I don't know, perhaps I was still half dreaming..."
His eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion, if it were a mere dream she would not be afraid that I asked. "I doubt that somehow. After all you were awake and crying for some time before you spoke it."
For a moment she wondered just how long he was watching her that day. She shook her head, "I'm not sure.. I was scared... confused, I didn't know where I was... I don't know where it came from when I said it." She felt her throat try to snap shut and her lungs resist giving her air to speak, as though her very body hated that she lie to him as much as she did.
The youkai took a step forward grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at him, she was lying. The idea in itself was not very surprised but the self loathing in her eyes at the fact. Masking his surprise he let her face go, moments before Kagome lost the loosing battle with herself, moments before she gave in to her love for him. Moments before she would have leaned in to kiss him.
"You had best not be lying to me," he warned darkly, the razor edge of his voice slicing through her heart, "Or else I will show you real hell."
In less time than it would have taken her to say his name he was gone. Tired and torn Kagome slowly dropped down to the ground where she hugged her knees to her chest and cried. And while she had not known, the Western Lord had not gone so far that he did not notice. He paused then and began to ponder on her tears.
He had heard what she said, and now he suspected something of her, but what? Should she use his suspicion to her advantage? She shook her head violently, It sounds like you're plotting against him! Besides it would probably only make him kill you. Yep... she thought, that's all you need Kagome, turn this whole situation into a Shakespearean Tragedy.... or is it Greek tragedy? She shook her head at the absurdity of it all, and alone in her room she allowed herself to laugh for a moment.
Sesshoumaru's ears perked up a bit at the short lived and foreign sound from somewhere in his home. So, he found himself thinking, she can still laugh.
--------------------------------------------
Ok it seems lots of people are still confused so lets see what I can do to remedy this as much as I can.
-First and foremost for those of you who didn't read it the first time the man who raped Kagome was just a random human-dirtbag. Just because she lives a strange life doesn't mean "normal" bad things can't happen to her for whatever reasons they normally occur. It was NOT Onigumo/Naraku or Sesshoumaru as someone thought it might be o_O
-Next, right now Kagome thinks that if she makes sure Sesshoumaru doesn't fall in love with her like last time he won't get injured protecting her and then die because of it. I will tell you now that she is wrong. BUT she has convinced herself that it is the answer because she is still too messed up emotionally and mentally to completely think this through.
-Last in previous chapters by "he" I meant the one who died the last time (in the prologue), and who she fell in love with.
-Most other things unfortunately you'll have to wait on as I plan to explain them and (hopefully) make them more clear in later chapters. Like Kagome's saviour. Sorry but I felt like being kinda cryptic with this one but all will eventually be explained. however I haven't ever really written anything in this kind of "oh you'll see" way before so please forgive me is in the end there are still things to be explained