Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist to Ninjas
Chapter Two: Internet
Darkness was interrupted in the living room as the television flashed violently. Ben lounged on the couch in his underwear, two mismatched socks, and his regulaur white t-shirt under an unbuttoned light blue shirt. Dr. Katz rubbed his eyes and tugged down on his blue sleeping clothes.
"What are you watching, Ben? It's 2 am." Dr. Katz asked over the annoying sounds consisting of loud explosions and rapidly repetitive rings and such coming from the television. He sat down next to Ben.
"It's anime, Dad." Ben clugged down some pop. "Animation that is art, not like that crappily animated crap that America produces."
"Aren't animated shows for children?" Dr. Katz asked then his eyes widened when a loud explosion and scream emerged. "Woah! Did that eight year old girl wearing that school uniform with that staff just impale that man?"
"American Nazi censorship." Ben protested. "That's right. This is dubbed and cut. Completely unfair. She is suppose to be nude like in the Japanese version."
"Well, that is why I don't understand this show; what coherence is there for the plot if the underaged girls aren't running around nude in the middle of the Artic?" Dr. Katz asked. "Why are you concerned that these girls are naked?"
"People on the internet keep on calling me a dubbie." Ben stated. "My reputation in the anime community on internet is gone."
"Sorry to hear that. How about this, if you can follow me?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Sure, speak to this broken heart son of yours," Ben chuckled.
"First, I go get the keys to the roof."
"I'm right behind you. We are on the same page, Dad."
"We go up to the roof," Dr. Katz added.
"I like where this is going." Ben commented.
"And we jump off the building." Dr. Katz concluded.
"You too?" Ben asked.
"Yes, how can I live with a son who has been ostracize from the anime community on the internet?" Dr. Katz answered.
"I love you, Dad," Ben told him, "but aren't you forgetting something?'
"There would be nothing left to think about Ben. Gravity will do the rest." Dr. Katz raised a hand and dropped it into his hand on his lap. "Splat! Bullet proof plan, huh?"
"How about the step were I put on some pants and my jacket?" Ben said. "What kind of father would bring his son out to commit a suicide pack without putting on his jacket?"
"Sorry, Ben." He dryly apologized.
"I need access to the internet." Ben said.
"The libraby has free access, Ben." Dr. Katz replied. "Go talk to your friends online there."
"No, I need to download non-censored subbed episodes of anime. They're laughing at us," Ben stated. "You do anything to stop people laughing at you."
"Well, it would allow me to search for pyschology papers and keep in touch with patients." Dr. Katz started. He looked back at the screen as a scantily clad girl ran across the screen with bouncing boobs. "Hmm, strangely hypnotic. I should thank anime; I'm likely to get more clients because of it."
At Dr. Katz's practice, his receptionist, Laura sat at her desk drumming with the end of two pencils.
"Laura," Dr. Katz said, "I'm a bit older than you."
"I demand a DNA test to verify that." She jested and put the pencils in a coffee mug.
"I don't know if I know the lingo to relate to you with your generations' subject." Dr. Katz said. "What if I sound foolish to you after this?"
"Maybe, you shouldn't tell me anything." Laura suggested.
"Advice noted." Dr. Katz responded. "Do you have the internet, Laura?"
"Yes, I do." She answered. "What is your interest in it?"
"Ben, he wants to connect to the internet. Connect... is that the right term?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Is this going to be one of those conversations where whenever you say anything related to the internet that you are going to drag on this already boring discussion with asking me to correct your usage of lingo?" She asked.
"I'm afraid so," he warned her. "What do you think about Ben and the internet?"
"It would cause him to resort to spending the rest of his free time online," Laura comtemplated, "and he wouldn't show up here as much. I think it is the greatest idea he has ever came up with."
"Thank you, Laura." Dr. Katz walked away. Laura stood up from her chair.
"It would be very educational," she left with him as he shut his office door.
Dr. Katz sat at his chair and glared at his patient. Sasuke dressed all in black had his elbows on his knees and he leaned over so his chin could rest on his folded hands.
"You're at that age," Dr. Katz commented. Sasuke jumped out of his chair and tugged down on the large collar of his shirt. His sharigan dissolved his normal eyes and pierced into Dr. Katz.
"So what if I'm at that age," Sasuke shouted sending chakra to his free hand that was not aimlessly tugging on his shirt collar. "So what, if I'm not a ANBU caption. I will kill that man! I will kill that man!"
"Please calm down and have a cookie." Dr. Katz moved to the edge of his seat and pushed a tray of cookies towards Sasuke. He calmed down, sat down, and bit into a cookie he took from the plate. "I was taking about that age when one is starting to develop feelings for the opposite gender."
"I'm going to kill my brother." Sasuke reminded Dr. Katz crossing his arms.
"Please, don't try to avoid this topic." Dr. Katz recommended. "How is your relationship with girls?"
Sweat dropped from his forehead and he frantically looked from side to side. "Are they here, right now?"
"No, it is just you and I in this office." Dr. Katz answered. Sasuke released a long breath.
"Girls. I can't get away from them. They see that you are in limited supply, and they suddenly develop an interest in you. Girls have treated me like a rare misprinted sports card since my brother murdered my whole clan." Sasuke commented and cleared his throat to imitate a girl's voice.
Clip: (Sasuke does all voices)
Three girls are hundled around and showing eachother their cards in their hands.
"I like just can't so believe you have a Sasuke. He should have been killed by his brother. That's ultra rare." Ino said. "All I got is a Choji and a Shikamaru."
"Yes so like way," Sakura sneers, "Sasuke is mint even autographed by Orochimaru."
End of Clip:
"Yes, it is unfair to treat people as objects." Dr. Katz concured with him. "What would you say would be the perfect girl for you? How do you want girls to interact with you?"
"No sane guy has to think long about that answer: it's Hinata." Sasuke answered.
The phone rang on Dr. Katz desk and he picked it up. "Dr. Katz's speaking."
"Hey, Dad," Ben responded with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the phone. "Did that reach you soon enough? You aren't dead, are you?"
"I don't know what you're saying?" Dr. Katz said.
"You know, this isn't instant conversation." Ben told him. On the windshield, a white splot of bird crap hit the window in front of Ben. "Damn, some bird crapped on the window."
"Did you just get the car washed?" Dr. Katz wondered.
"What are you getting at? All bad things end with three?" Ben questioned. "Maybe I can pull up to that drive-throu cancer treatment joint and see if I have any terminal illnesses."
"Well, it's good luck if a bird does its business on the car after you have it washed."
"That's a strange superstition. What kind of luck would an air bombing bring if it is after spring cleaning?" Ben asked. Dr. Katz snickered.
"I believe the people who lived in the house that was bombed have the increased chance of getting luck from their new house." Dr. Katz explained.
"How so?"
"Well, they would be living in a trailer home, and they also are in the contract with birds that if they are crapped on, the people inside get good luck." Dr. Katz finished.
"You're awful, Dad." Ben said. "How much time have we wasted on the phone?"
"What is it with you and time, Ben?"
"It's just that it's not instant, like on the internet." Ben complained. "If we had the internet, this conversation would all be instant."
"I'll tell you," Dr. Katz started, "we will be having the internet soon."
"Good," Ben said, "the community on the internet have started to flame me, Dad."
"Mr. Pink, can we start using aliases so that no one knows that I'm related to a person who gets flamed on the internet?" Dr. Katz said.
"Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?"
"Where are you off to?"
"I'm going to get our computer and internet." Mr. Pink said. "It will be set up by the time you get home."
"Can we use connected instead of set up? My father set up my A-track in my old Ford." Dr. Katz said.
"Sure. We will be connected by tonight."
At a local bar, called Jacky's, Julie served Dr. Katz his drink. She wore a pink headband that pulled back her long black hair and had a white short sleeved shirt that accented her tanned dark skin. A man with his scars on his face and a goatee sat next to Dr. Katz at the bar and ordered the hardest drink that the bar served.
"My name is Shikato," he announced shaking Julie's and than Dr. Katz's hand. His coat was grey and old with rips everywhere. "Your receptionists told me that you would be here, Dr. Katz."
"When is he not here?" Julie laughed.
"And what can I do for you?"
"My son, Shikamaru has requested that he would do the session over the phone with you." He stated downing the drink, and tapping the glass for a refill.
"Is he sick?" Dr. Katz asked.
"He's sick of making an effort." Shikato answered. Dr. Katz then tapped his glass to Shikato's.
"I know where you're coming from." Dr. Katz said and then asked of Julie: "Have you ever thought kids today are getting lazier?"
"Sure. They are even trying to get proper fake IDs, these days." Julie said. "I went on a nation wide search to find someone who looked just like me so that I could get into clubs."
"Well, my son is on another level of laziness. He was on a survival trip, and he when his squad asked him to fill the pot with water, he just went out to the middle of the field and dug a small hole and waited for it to rain." Shikato stated. "He laid there for two days without moving looking at the clouds."
"Did he see any interesting clouds?" Julie asked.
"He told me that he saw a rabbit."
"That is quite the find." Dr. Katz commented.
"Yeah, but he also told me he would wait there until it rained or until he saw a cloud that looked like a rabit." Shikato responded.
A phone rested on the couch in Mr. Katz's office. "Can you hear me?" Shikamaru's voice came from the phone.
"Yes, I can hear you." Dr. Katz answered.
"Great." Shikamaru rolled over the pile of dirty clothes he rested on in his room. "I don't have to do much in this session, do I?"
"You do what ever feels conformable to you." Dr. Katz told him. "Can you describe the relationship between your parents."
"My mother has both the ball and chain in my parent's relationship, and there is no reason for anyone to say no to the demands of a person in the possession of a ball in chain." Shikamaru said. "I don't want to beat around the bush; my father is whipped. I ask him for an advance on my allowance, because I hadn't done any of my chores, and he had to ask my mom if he could bring the question over to her. If my father took a stance on anything, it would be the way he dresses. I suspect the last thing that a man gives up is the way he dresses. Every day, I hear this."
Example Clip:
Shikato is in front of his wife and looked like a sob as he is.
"You ain't wearing that." His wife scorned him.
"I think this is fitting." Shikato said.
"Interesting, I picked my shoes in that they are fitting to enter your ass."
"Okay, I'll change."
End of Clip:
"Do you feel that your father is providing you with a bad model to be a grown-up man?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Let me put it this way, she tells him to jump, and he's already landed face first in the ground."
Dr. Katz entered his son's room, that was dirty as any other day. Ben sat at his desk in front of a computer.
"So," Dr. Katz said, "you got the computer. What are you doing?
"I'm surfing the internet." Ben stated.
"What are you surfing for?" Dr. Katz asked.
"A frigging user name." Ben cursed. "I can't find one that isn't used."
"What names have you tried?" Dr. Katz went up to a stool next to Ben. He read off the screen: "BoobyLikingMan???"
"I can't believe it is taken." Ben said. "I've tried to put numbers like 42, 69, and 66, behind the name, but they are all taken."
"You know, your mother and I didn't have any problems naming you Ben." Dr. Katz said.
"A username has to be original." Ben said. "Here are the guidelines. Men have to have a username that say what part of the body they like and girls have to say that they are hot or sexy in their username."
"Such strict rules to create a username," Dr. Katz stated, "huh?"
"I think that everyone has used every screen name possible. The internet is not full; we are not serving any more people."
"Just try your name: Ben Katz." Dr. Katz suggested. Ben typed it in.
"Hey, it works."
Across from Laura, Sasuke moped on a chair.
"He's kind of cute," Laura thought, "I wonder if he has an older brother."
"Hey," Laura said to get Sasuke's attention, "I have to get some.. information from you."
"What is it?" Sasuke coldly asked.
"Do you have any older brothers?"
Sasuke screamed and pulled on his already loose collar. "I will kill him!"
Laura clapped her hands. "How cute!!"
This time for the session, Shikamaru was there, with his limbs all over the couch.
"Tell me what annoys you." Dr. Katz said.
"Troblemsome things."
"What do you mean by troblemsome things?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Why does eating a banana have to be so difficult?" Shikamaru asked. "It's a fruit; we should be able to eat it without peeling it. That is troblemsome. Can't we sleep while standing up? The whole process of waking would be that much easier if we could already be standing up when waking."
"What would we do with the term 'falling asleep'?" He asked.
"I was promoted a while ago. I don't know why people keep on promoted me. I want to be after the first person. It makes me feel special to be next. There is something good about being next rather than first. People who are first have to be a learn to the person who is next. Every mistake they make is a mistake avoided by the person who is next." Shikamaru claimed. "If you're next, and the person in front of you is refused to use a coupon, then you're saved the problem of debating the issue. You can ride on that person's agrument."
The phone on Laura's desk rings. "Hello."
"Hey, I'm watching subtitled films," he paused his subbed anime show. "Are you impressed?"
"I consider it to be one of those unsolved mysteries." Laura responded.
"I'm cultured now. No more english films for me. Hollywood is for consumers, but subtitled films..." Ben paused then continued, "they are for the cultural elite."
"Don't you have the internet?" Laura asked.
"Yes I do." He said. "This computer is great. I can download shows I want to see, order movies from the store near my appartment, and chat to you at the same time."
"Great."
Sasuke looked at Dr. Katz.
"Tell me about your family." Dr. Katz said.
"Well, I am the youngest child, so I get everything my older brother has gotten." Sasuke said.
Clip:
Sasuke's parents are handing him hand-me downs.
"Here you go, son," his father said, "Just wipe the blood of these weapons, and they are yours."
"Don't forget these," his mother hands him a blue uniform, "this is what your brother wore at your age when we loved him so much more than you.
End of clip:
"You don't think that your parents loved you as much as your brother?"
Sasuke pulled on his collar. "Is it getting hot in here?"
"Okay, we can come back to the question another time." Dr. Katz listened to the jazzy music. "Well, you know what the music means."
"Yeah, time to kill my brother!" Sasuke stormed out pulling on his neck collar and holding a bolt of chakra in his hand.
"Hey," Dr. Katz entered his son's room that no longer had a computer in it, "what happened to your computer?"
"I have come to a conclusion about the internet." Ben said.
"What is that?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Going on the internet is great," Ben started, "but being a ninja is the best."
"It's a sad day in a father's life when his son chooses a career over a much of nude animated girls." Dr. Katz joked.
"I want to become a ninja." Ben said.
"Couldn't fool the anime community on the internet that you weren't a ninja?"
"Nope." Ben answered.
Next patients: Sakura and Gai
Special guest: Itachi!
Chapter Two: Internet
Darkness was interrupted in the living room as the television flashed violently. Ben lounged on the couch in his underwear, two mismatched socks, and his regulaur white t-shirt under an unbuttoned light blue shirt. Dr. Katz rubbed his eyes and tugged down on his blue sleeping clothes.
"What are you watching, Ben? It's 2 am." Dr. Katz asked over the annoying sounds consisting of loud explosions and rapidly repetitive rings and such coming from the television. He sat down next to Ben.
"It's anime, Dad." Ben clugged down some pop. "Animation that is art, not like that crappily animated crap that America produces."
"Aren't animated shows for children?" Dr. Katz asked then his eyes widened when a loud explosion and scream emerged. "Woah! Did that eight year old girl wearing that school uniform with that staff just impale that man?"
"American Nazi censorship." Ben protested. "That's right. This is dubbed and cut. Completely unfair. She is suppose to be nude like in the Japanese version."
"Well, that is why I don't understand this show; what coherence is there for the plot if the underaged girls aren't running around nude in the middle of the Artic?" Dr. Katz asked. "Why are you concerned that these girls are naked?"
"People on the internet keep on calling me a dubbie." Ben stated. "My reputation in the anime community on internet is gone."
"Sorry to hear that. How about this, if you can follow me?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Sure, speak to this broken heart son of yours," Ben chuckled.
"First, I go get the keys to the roof."
"I'm right behind you. We are on the same page, Dad."
"We go up to the roof," Dr. Katz added.
"I like where this is going." Ben commented.
"And we jump off the building." Dr. Katz concluded.
"You too?" Ben asked.
"Yes, how can I live with a son who has been ostracize from the anime community on the internet?" Dr. Katz answered.
"I love you, Dad," Ben told him, "but aren't you forgetting something?'
"There would be nothing left to think about Ben. Gravity will do the rest." Dr. Katz raised a hand and dropped it into his hand on his lap. "Splat! Bullet proof plan, huh?"
"How about the step were I put on some pants and my jacket?" Ben said. "What kind of father would bring his son out to commit a suicide pack without putting on his jacket?"
"Sorry, Ben." He dryly apologized.
"I need access to the internet." Ben said.
"The libraby has free access, Ben." Dr. Katz replied. "Go talk to your friends online there."
"No, I need to download non-censored subbed episodes of anime. They're laughing at us," Ben stated. "You do anything to stop people laughing at you."
"Well, it would allow me to search for pyschology papers and keep in touch with patients." Dr. Katz started. He looked back at the screen as a scantily clad girl ran across the screen with bouncing boobs. "Hmm, strangely hypnotic. I should thank anime; I'm likely to get more clients because of it."
At Dr. Katz's practice, his receptionist, Laura sat at her desk drumming with the end of two pencils.
"Laura," Dr. Katz said, "I'm a bit older than you."
"I demand a DNA test to verify that." She jested and put the pencils in a coffee mug.
"I don't know if I know the lingo to relate to you with your generations' subject." Dr. Katz said. "What if I sound foolish to you after this?"
"Maybe, you shouldn't tell me anything." Laura suggested.
"Advice noted." Dr. Katz responded. "Do you have the internet, Laura?"
"Yes, I do." She answered. "What is your interest in it?"
"Ben, he wants to connect to the internet. Connect... is that the right term?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Is this going to be one of those conversations where whenever you say anything related to the internet that you are going to drag on this already boring discussion with asking me to correct your usage of lingo?" She asked.
"I'm afraid so," he warned her. "What do you think about Ben and the internet?"
"It would cause him to resort to spending the rest of his free time online," Laura comtemplated, "and he wouldn't show up here as much. I think it is the greatest idea he has ever came up with."
"Thank you, Laura." Dr. Katz walked away. Laura stood up from her chair.
"It would be very educational," she left with him as he shut his office door.
Dr. Katz sat at his chair and glared at his patient. Sasuke dressed all in black had his elbows on his knees and he leaned over so his chin could rest on his folded hands.
"You're at that age," Dr. Katz commented. Sasuke jumped out of his chair and tugged down on the large collar of his shirt. His sharigan dissolved his normal eyes and pierced into Dr. Katz.
"So what if I'm at that age," Sasuke shouted sending chakra to his free hand that was not aimlessly tugging on his shirt collar. "So what, if I'm not a ANBU caption. I will kill that man! I will kill that man!"
"Please calm down and have a cookie." Dr. Katz moved to the edge of his seat and pushed a tray of cookies towards Sasuke. He calmed down, sat down, and bit into a cookie he took from the plate. "I was taking about that age when one is starting to develop feelings for the opposite gender."
"I'm going to kill my brother." Sasuke reminded Dr. Katz crossing his arms.
"Please, don't try to avoid this topic." Dr. Katz recommended. "How is your relationship with girls?"
Sweat dropped from his forehead and he frantically looked from side to side. "Are they here, right now?"
"No, it is just you and I in this office." Dr. Katz answered. Sasuke released a long breath.
"Girls. I can't get away from them. They see that you are in limited supply, and they suddenly develop an interest in you. Girls have treated me like a rare misprinted sports card since my brother murdered my whole clan." Sasuke commented and cleared his throat to imitate a girl's voice.
Clip: (Sasuke does all voices)
Three girls are hundled around and showing eachother their cards in their hands.
"I like just can't so believe you have a Sasuke. He should have been killed by his brother. That's ultra rare." Ino said. "All I got is a Choji and a Shikamaru."
"Yes so like way," Sakura sneers, "Sasuke is mint even autographed by Orochimaru."
End of Clip:
"Yes, it is unfair to treat people as objects." Dr. Katz concured with him. "What would you say would be the perfect girl for you? How do you want girls to interact with you?"
"No sane guy has to think long about that answer: it's Hinata." Sasuke answered.
The phone rang on Dr. Katz desk and he picked it up. "Dr. Katz's speaking."
"Hey, Dad," Ben responded with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the phone. "Did that reach you soon enough? You aren't dead, are you?"
"I don't know what you're saying?" Dr. Katz said.
"You know, this isn't instant conversation." Ben told him. On the windshield, a white splot of bird crap hit the window in front of Ben. "Damn, some bird crapped on the window."
"Did you just get the car washed?" Dr. Katz wondered.
"What are you getting at? All bad things end with three?" Ben questioned. "Maybe I can pull up to that drive-throu cancer treatment joint and see if I have any terminal illnesses."
"Well, it's good luck if a bird does its business on the car after you have it washed."
"That's a strange superstition. What kind of luck would an air bombing bring if it is after spring cleaning?" Ben asked. Dr. Katz snickered.
"I believe the people who lived in the house that was bombed have the increased chance of getting luck from their new house." Dr. Katz explained.
"How so?"
"Well, they would be living in a trailer home, and they also are in the contract with birds that if they are crapped on, the people inside get good luck." Dr. Katz finished.
"You're awful, Dad." Ben said. "How much time have we wasted on the phone?"
"What is it with you and time, Ben?"
"It's just that it's not instant, like on the internet." Ben complained. "If we had the internet, this conversation would all be instant."
"I'll tell you," Dr. Katz started, "we will be having the internet soon."
"Good," Ben said, "the community on the internet have started to flame me, Dad."
"Mr. Pink, can we start using aliases so that no one knows that I'm related to a person who gets flamed on the internet?" Dr. Katz said.
"Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?"
"Where are you off to?"
"I'm going to get our computer and internet." Mr. Pink said. "It will be set up by the time you get home."
"Can we use connected instead of set up? My father set up my A-track in my old Ford." Dr. Katz said.
"Sure. We will be connected by tonight."
At a local bar, called Jacky's, Julie served Dr. Katz his drink. She wore a pink headband that pulled back her long black hair and had a white short sleeved shirt that accented her tanned dark skin. A man with his scars on his face and a goatee sat next to Dr. Katz at the bar and ordered the hardest drink that the bar served.
"My name is Shikato," he announced shaking Julie's and than Dr. Katz's hand. His coat was grey and old with rips everywhere. "Your receptionists told me that you would be here, Dr. Katz."
"When is he not here?" Julie laughed.
"And what can I do for you?"
"My son, Shikamaru has requested that he would do the session over the phone with you." He stated downing the drink, and tapping the glass for a refill.
"Is he sick?" Dr. Katz asked.
"He's sick of making an effort." Shikato answered. Dr. Katz then tapped his glass to Shikato's.
"I know where you're coming from." Dr. Katz said and then asked of Julie: "Have you ever thought kids today are getting lazier?"
"Sure. They are even trying to get proper fake IDs, these days." Julie said. "I went on a nation wide search to find someone who looked just like me so that I could get into clubs."
"Well, my son is on another level of laziness. He was on a survival trip, and he when his squad asked him to fill the pot with water, he just went out to the middle of the field and dug a small hole and waited for it to rain." Shikato stated. "He laid there for two days without moving looking at the clouds."
"Did he see any interesting clouds?" Julie asked.
"He told me that he saw a rabbit."
"That is quite the find." Dr. Katz commented.
"Yeah, but he also told me he would wait there until it rained or until he saw a cloud that looked like a rabit." Shikato responded.
A phone rested on the couch in Mr. Katz's office. "Can you hear me?" Shikamaru's voice came from the phone.
"Yes, I can hear you." Dr. Katz answered.
"Great." Shikamaru rolled over the pile of dirty clothes he rested on in his room. "I don't have to do much in this session, do I?"
"You do what ever feels conformable to you." Dr. Katz told him. "Can you describe the relationship between your parents."
"My mother has both the ball and chain in my parent's relationship, and there is no reason for anyone to say no to the demands of a person in the possession of a ball in chain." Shikamaru said. "I don't want to beat around the bush; my father is whipped. I ask him for an advance on my allowance, because I hadn't done any of my chores, and he had to ask my mom if he could bring the question over to her. If my father took a stance on anything, it would be the way he dresses. I suspect the last thing that a man gives up is the way he dresses. Every day, I hear this."
Example Clip:
Shikato is in front of his wife and looked like a sob as he is.
"You ain't wearing that." His wife scorned him.
"I think this is fitting." Shikato said.
"Interesting, I picked my shoes in that they are fitting to enter your ass."
"Okay, I'll change."
End of Clip:
"Do you feel that your father is providing you with a bad model to be a grown-up man?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Let me put it this way, she tells him to jump, and he's already landed face first in the ground."
Dr. Katz entered his son's room, that was dirty as any other day. Ben sat at his desk in front of a computer.
"So," Dr. Katz said, "you got the computer. What are you doing?
"I'm surfing the internet." Ben stated.
"What are you surfing for?" Dr. Katz asked.
"A frigging user name." Ben cursed. "I can't find one that isn't used."
"What names have you tried?" Dr. Katz went up to a stool next to Ben. He read off the screen: "BoobyLikingMan???"
"I can't believe it is taken." Ben said. "I've tried to put numbers like 42, 69, and 66, behind the name, but they are all taken."
"You know, your mother and I didn't have any problems naming you Ben." Dr. Katz said.
"A username has to be original." Ben said. "Here are the guidelines. Men have to have a username that say what part of the body they like and girls have to say that they are hot or sexy in their username."
"Such strict rules to create a username," Dr. Katz stated, "huh?"
"I think that everyone has used every screen name possible. The internet is not full; we are not serving any more people."
"Just try your name: Ben Katz." Dr. Katz suggested. Ben typed it in.
"Hey, it works."
Across from Laura, Sasuke moped on a chair.
"He's kind of cute," Laura thought, "I wonder if he has an older brother."
"Hey," Laura said to get Sasuke's attention, "I have to get some.. information from you."
"What is it?" Sasuke coldly asked.
"Do you have any older brothers?"
Sasuke screamed and pulled on his already loose collar. "I will kill him!"
Laura clapped her hands. "How cute!!"
This time for the session, Shikamaru was there, with his limbs all over the couch.
"Tell me what annoys you." Dr. Katz said.
"Troblemsome things."
"What do you mean by troblemsome things?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Why does eating a banana have to be so difficult?" Shikamaru asked. "It's a fruit; we should be able to eat it without peeling it. That is troblemsome. Can't we sleep while standing up? The whole process of waking would be that much easier if we could already be standing up when waking."
"What would we do with the term 'falling asleep'?" He asked.
"I was promoted a while ago. I don't know why people keep on promoted me. I want to be after the first person. It makes me feel special to be next. There is something good about being next rather than first. People who are first have to be a learn to the person who is next. Every mistake they make is a mistake avoided by the person who is next." Shikamaru claimed. "If you're next, and the person in front of you is refused to use a coupon, then you're saved the problem of debating the issue. You can ride on that person's agrument."
The phone on Laura's desk rings. "Hello."
"Hey, I'm watching subtitled films," he paused his subbed anime show. "Are you impressed?"
"I consider it to be one of those unsolved mysteries." Laura responded.
"I'm cultured now. No more english films for me. Hollywood is for consumers, but subtitled films..." Ben paused then continued, "they are for the cultural elite."
"Don't you have the internet?" Laura asked.
"Yes I do." He said. "This computer is great. I can download shows I want to see, order movies from the store near my appartment, and chat to you at the same time."
"Great."
Sasuke looked at Dr. Katz.
"Tell me about your family." Dr. Katz said.
"Well, I am the youngest child, so I get everything my older brother has gotten." Sasuke said.
Clip:
Sasuke's parents are handing him hand-me downs.
"Here you go, son," his father said, "Just wipe the blood of these weapons, and they are yours."
"Don't forget these," his mother hands him a blue uniform, "this is what your brother wore at your age when we loved him so much more than you.
End of clip:
"You don't think that your parents loved you as much as your brother?"
Sasuke pulled on his collar. "Is it getting hot in here?"
"Okay, we can come back to the question another time." Dr. Katz listened to the jazzy music. "Well, you know what the music means."
"Yeah, time to kill my brother!" Sasuke stormed out pulling on his neck collar and holding a bolt of chakra in his hand.
"Hey," Dr. Katz entered his son's room that no longer had a computer in it, "what happened to your computer?"
"I have come to a conclusion about the internet." Ben said.
"What is that?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Going on the internet is great," Ben started, "but being a ninja is the best."
"It's a sad day in a father's life when his son chooses a career over a much of nude animated girls." Dr. Katz joked.
"I want to become a ninja." Ben said.
"Couldn't fool the anime community on the internet that you weren't a ninja?"
"Nope." Ben answered.
Next patients: Sakura and Gai
Special guest: Itachi!