"And God said, 'Let there be smut,' and there was smut..." A little smut anyway. A tasteful R rated amount.
We had trick-or-treaters this evening. Otherwise I would have uploaded earlier. But on the good side - I have the cutest little kiddies locked in my basement now. What? They were cute! You'd have kept them too!
Sairuh - I know the rhyme as follows: "There once was a girl with a curl right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad, she was horrid!"
Dear God - Please let everyone enjoy this chapter. They're starting to get creative. Whips and handcuffs were mentioned. Which, as you know, kind of turned me on. But I don't think it was meant in a fun way. And bunnies, God. Hot pink, fuzzy bunnies! ::shudder::
Chapter Three: In which our hero talks a lot and things get dirty.
Kagome was pressed up against the wide rough bark of the tree, her face flushed, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.
"Keep them closed, Kagome," Miroku murmured into her ear, pausing to nuzzle at her neck. "Concentrate on what you're feeling. The roughness of the tree," he sucked on her earlobe, "the heat of my body," tongued the delicate shell of her ear, "the coolness of the air." He ran the tips of his fingers gently across her stomach and she gasped and shuddered. He skimmed the waistline of her skirt, pressed his hand down, firm and low, and her gasp turned into a low whine of need.
Miroku's body flared with desire at that sound, and he twisted his hips slightly to keep himself from touching Kagome with the evidence of that desire. This was for her and for her only. And damn but that had made the past few weeks hard. Pun definitely intended.
He braced himself better on the tree and slowly ran his free hand down her thigh while he kissed his way across her face, avoiding her eagerly parted lips. "Feel me touching you," he whispered between kisses. He traced her knee with his fingers. "Feel how you respond to my touch."
Kagome made a little pouting sound when again he avoided her mouth and he chuckled. "Feel where I'm not touching you. Where you want me to touch you." His hand slid its way up the inside of her thigh and he nearly lost himself in the firm silky texture of her skin. "Do you feel that Kagome?" he asked, his voice almost a groan.
She turned her head quickly, trying to capture his lips with her own. Miroku was a veteran at this game though and he easily evaded her. "Tell me what you feel, Kagome." He let his hand drift up and down her inner thigh.
"Mmmm... I feel...,"
Her leg fell further open. He kissed his way down her neck.
"I feel...,"
He kissed and licked his way down her collarbone.
Kagome's eyes flew open. "Shards!"
Miroku pulled back so fast he almost tripped over his own feet and fell on his ass. Not very warrior-monk like behavior. He covered by crouching down to pick up his staff. "How close? I don't sense any demons." His voice was crisp now as he readied himself for possible battle.
Kagome stepped away from the tree, straightening her clothes absent mindedly as she quested the air. "Oh," she said and tension flowed out of her body. "It's purified shards and maybe one that's not. I think it's 'all hail the conquering heros' time."
"They're back?" The annoyed sound in his voice surprised Miroku. This was his life long quest after all. Complete the jewel, kill the bad guy, stride off into the sunset. Picking up the odd girl or six along the way was just a perk, and never to distract from his mission. Then another thought hit him. "How soon will they be here?"
Kagome stared out at something only she could see. "They're not moving too fast. End of the day maybe?" She'd been the clever girl who'd come up with the idea of entrusting the rest of the group with the shards to serve as an early warning of their return. Miroku was strangely proud of her deviousness.
"We need to get you back to Lady Kaede's then. And you need to get a quick bath. And change your clothes. You brought a change of clothes right? And maybe clean what you're wearing. Or burn it. Do you think that would look suspicious? Because you could always -,"
Kagome laughed, looking a little exasperated. "You're being paranoid, Miroku. He's not going to notice."
"Believe me, Kagome. If it's about you, he notices."
Kagome nodded her head a little as she started towards the village, but any idiot could tell it was her 'If I agree maybe he'll shut-up' nod, not the 'Oh, you're so right!' nod he was going for.
"I just hope that when he goes for me, and he will," Miroku fell into step behind Kagome, easily keeping up with her hobbling pace, "he gives me enough time to explain the situation."
"The situation?"
"That I'm teaching you things he'll get to appreciate in the end." And why was he having to fight to keep a note of bitterness out of his voice? "I'm not trying to take you away from him. You're still madly in love with him." Kagome's back stiffened noticeably, but he stubbornly kept babbling on. "I'm optimistic enough to hope for a minor maiming rather than all out gruesome death."
Kagome stopped suddenly and spun around to face him, her face a thundercloud. Miroku scratched the back of his head and did his best, 'I'm too silly to take seriously' grin, to which Kagome was supposed to shake her head, smile affectionately and continue on her way. Instead she kept glaring at him. And she was thinking. He could tell by the way she chewed her bottom lip. Which was supposed to be his job now.
He stepped forward, intent on showing her how good he was at his job, when her face suddenly cleared and she folded her arms and lifted her chin. "I know you're a guy."
"Um... yes I am." Miroku stopped in his tracks, wondering where she was going with this. Because he'd only dressed up in women's clothing that one time and he'd had a bit much to drink, and the woman had been very persuasive, and over all it had been one of the stranger episodes in his life. Not entirely unenjoyable, but nothing he was eager to repeat.
"I know you have a...," Kagome blushed but did not drop her forthright gaze, "a penis."
For a wild second Miroku pictured himself pulling a severed penis out of his robes, cackling like a madman and screaming, "But you can't have it!". Instead he went with the less insane, "Huh?".
Kagome raised an eyebrow. "All the twisting and turning you do, making sure I don't feel it? Those little nature walks by yourself when we're through with one of our 'sessions'?"
Miroku could feel a flush creeping over his face. "I - I didn't want to scare you." Which sounded really stupid when it was said out loud like that. By her expression, Kagome agreed.
"Kagome, we established that you had no experience. And we established that you only want to gain a limited amount of experience. I've been trying to abide by our agreement." Miroku stepped closer to her. "Do you know how much discipline it's taken to keep myself in check?" His voice deepened and thickened. "How hard it is for me to stop? What I dream of doing to you? Showing you?"
Kagome got an odd look on her face. "Can you show me now?"
Shock. Opened mouth shock. "Now?" he squeaked. But in a really manly way.
She nodded in the general direction of his crotch. "I want to see it," she whispered.
Oh. Oh! The 'it' in question flared to life, all for an unveiling.
"Right here and now?"
Kagome grinned evilly. She was getting really good at that. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," she said in a sing-song voice.
And really, who in their right mind could refuse an offer like that? So Miroku started gathering up his robes grinning right back at Kagome, and then her face fell.
"Darn it!"
"Please tell me there's a demon coming that I get to kill." Because right now, Miroku could really kill something.
"No. They've picked up their pace. They'll be here in less than an hour." Kagome looked as frustrated as he felt. Which was slightly mollifying, but still didn't make up for the interruption to this interesting new path he and Kagome were about to explore.
"Well. Isn't that good news." Miroku swept Kagome up into his arms and headed briskly towards the village.
"Miroku!" Kagome protested. "My ankle is a lot better. I can walk on my own you know." But she snuggled into his chest as she said it, so he didn't take her too seriously.
"Your welfare is my responsibility. I'm the one who's supposed to make sure you don't push yourself and cause yourself greater injury." He'd been very quick to volunteer for that job. Sango had seemed resigned to it since Kirara was the best way to get Kagome back to Lady Kaede's, but it hadn't taken much to persuade her that her skills would be a greater asset for bringing down the shard-enhanced demon they'd been chasing.
Miroku began worrying that he'd been a little too eager to leave the fray and nip off with the damsel in distress, but than Kagome took advantage of her position to start nibbling at his ear, playing with his earrings with her tongue. So he concluded that it was in the best interest of the group to keep everyone in full health and his was an important task that he should be proud to fulfill.
"Kagome! Have you hurt yourself again?" Shippou's shriek could have woken the dead. In the northern lands. But as he came flying up the path he did look genuinely worried so Miroku forgave him for stealing Kagome's attention from his ear.
"Hey Shippou." Kagome slid out of Miroku's arms, and if his hands did a bit of exploring on her way down, well he did have a reputation to uphold. "I'm fine. Miroku was just being overprotective." She turned to frown at Miroku, but he could see the grin playing around the corners of her mouth. "I think Inuyasha and Sango are going to be here soon."
"That's what I was coming to tell you!" Shippou leapt into Kagome's arms. "Kirara left to go get them. They should be here any minute!"
Kagome giggled and snuggled Shippou. "Well let's go get a welcome home feast ready for them. They'll probably be hungry."
"I'm hungry too!" Shippou said.
Resting his hand on Kagome's shoulder Miroku leaned down to peer worriedly at the little fox demon. "Oh no, Kagome. I think Shippou's going to waste away to nothing. We better get some food in him immediately!"
Shippou jumped from Kagome's arms and clung energetically to Miroku's shoulder. "Yeah, Kagome! You don't want me to starve to death!" he agreed at full volume.
"Oh and you're in so much danger of that, Shippou!" Kagome giggled up at him.
But he wasn't paying attention to her anymore. "Miroku? Why's your ear wet?"
Kagome became so involved in stifling her laughter it looked like it was taking all of her attention just to breathe. So Miroku was left to come up with a long winded explanation that involved dew, tree leaves, and some strange insect behavior. Fortunately, Shippou lost interest as they headed down the path, and he was saved from trying to tie it all together.
The three of them arrived at Lady Kaede's just as Kirara touched down from the sky, a tired and grungy looking Sango on her back. "I need a bath," she said dispiritedly as she climbed down with little of her usual grace. "Now."
She did look filthier than usual for post-battle Miroku noticed. "What happened?" he asked, his guilt returning in full flood. He should have never let her and Inuyasha go on alone.
"Oh, it died easily enough," Sango dropped her weapons by the porch. "It was getting the shard that was hard. It was in the thing's gizzard. So now I'm covered in its guts and there's guts in my hair and all I can smell is guts, and I really, really need a bath." She sounded almost tearful by the end of her statement.
"You go on ahead, Sango," Kagome said gently. "I'll bring clean clothes and bathing supplies. I could use a bath too." She cut a quick glance at Miroku as she hobbled quickly into the house and he winked at her.
"Kagome," Sango said earnestly, "you are the best friend I have ever had."
Inuyasha arrived pretty quickly after the girls had headed off for their bath. He was much cleaner than Sango and his hair was wet.
"Yeah, I stopped at the first creek we came too," he said when Miroku asked. "But that's when Kirara arrived and Sango decided she wanted a real bath." He shook his head disgustedly. Though whether it was because Sango wasn't eager to bathe in cold water or because he had been covered in demon guts, Miroku couldn't tell.
Inuyasha took the stew Lady Kaede offered him gratefully. "I tell you guys," he said between bites, "that was a real son of a bitch." He swallowed noisily. "I thought the jewel shards made all the creatures they enhanced extra aggressive. But this thing just ran and ran and ran. And mostly in circles. Huge damn circles."
"Well," Miroku said. "It was a big chicken."
"I'd never even heard of chicken demons!" Shippou piped up.
"'Cause there's no such thing, runt," Inuyasha said dismissively. "This was just a regular chicken that pecked up a shard instead of a stone." He gulped down the last bite in his bowl. "Where the hell is Kagome hiding anyway? She needs to purify this shard."
"She and Sango are bathing, Inuyasha," Lady Kaede said as she served him up more stew.
"She's not here?" Inuyasha looked puzzled. "Damn. Being covered in chicken guts must have knocked off my sense of smell. I could have sworn she was close by."
Miroku stared innocently up at the thatched ceiling. And ignored the pointed look Lady Kaede threw at him. Sometimes the aged priestess was more observant than she needed to be. Fortunately, Kagome and a much happier and cleaner looking Sango arrived pretty quickly.
"Kagome! Are you sure you should be walking?" Inuyasha turned to glare at Miroku and Lady Kaede. "Why are you guys letting her walk?"
"It's okay, Inuyasha," Kagome reassured him. "It was just a minor sprain. In a day or two no one will be able to tell I fell at all."
"Ah, but the legend of your fall will live on," Miroku couldn't help saying.
"The epic battle between girl and root?" Kagome suggested with a grin.
And Miroku decided to play. "The young priestess and the tree that would defeat her," he said solemnly.
"All started by a cowardly sneak attack from below." She matched his serious tone.
"The horrible fear that the villainous tree had struck a fatal blow."
"Yeah, but I showed that mean old tree," Kagome said fiercely.
"It wasn't just the tree you showed. I've always enjoyed your choice in undergarments."
"Careful, monk," Inuyasha growled.
"Hey! It took years of training to get that graceful," Kagome exclaimed, ignoring the interruption.
"It is true. The dexterity of your tumble was awesome to behold." Miroku was definitely winning in the straight face department. Kagome was barely holding it together.
"You two," Sango said, "are crazy."
Kagome collapsed in peals of laughter and it took everything Miroku had not to join her. But a glance at Inuyasha showed the half-demon staring at them both with a perplexed frown. Miroku sighed, his urge to laugh dying quickly away. It would not do to arouse Inuyasha's curiosity. He was going to have to stay away from Kagome for the next little while.
It surprised Miroku how distasteful that prospect was. The past couple of days must have spoiled him. There was one cheering thought, however. The next time they were alone there was a pretty good chance Miroku was going to see Kagome naked. Picturing that certain to be pleasant occurrence would get him through the upcoming days. And that would have to be enough.