Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist to Ninjas
Chapter Four: Sci-fi Convention
Dr. Katz and Ben were having their coffee on the kitchen table. Ben amused himself with the toy the box of cereal was containing and Dr. Katz wrestled with the newspaper.
"Why do you think people expect when they knock on your door and turn it into some melody?" Ben asked.
"I think, Ben, that they are being considerate." Dr. Katz slipped his coffee.
"Nah, I don't think that's true. If anything, they want to feel like they are someone important who deserves some theme song." Ben said and tapped his knuckles on the table performing a bit of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'. "Oh? That's John at the door, quick someone get it."
"In the middle ages, they used to announce kings with the sound of the horns." Dr. Katz added. "Oh, and how about the people who open a door and say 'knock, knock'?"
They shuddered. "Since the start of these trends, this world has got into the crapper."
"Ben," Dr. Katz said and his son grumbled, "do you have any plans for today?"
"Yeah, if you're up for it." Ben said.
"What do you have in mind?"
"There's a sci-fi convention, and I was hoping we could go together. You know, dress up, meet the actors not important enough to be casted in the new sequel." Ben described. "How about it?"
"How about this costume idea?" Dr. Katz said. "The invisible man. You see, I would not go to the convention at all. The people who go to these conventions are... how should I stick it to them... one wheel short of the discovery of the wheel."
"The invisible man, huh?" Ben wondered. "Are you going to follow in the way of your hair?"
He leered at Ben. "I'm coming, but you have to work on your invitational skills."
"I'll meet you there around 4 o'clock." Ben said. "Pick up some costumes on the way to the convention centre."
"I would need to cancel an appointment, but okay." Dr. Katz said.
"Doesn't something like cancelling appointments bug you?" Ben asked.
"Yeah, but for some reason, it doesn't this time."
Dr. Katz hung his green jacket and brown hat on the coat rack in the front office. "Good day, Laura."
"That was how I was seeing it before you came in here to tell me that." She said.
"Ben and I are going to a sci-fi convention this afternoon, and my last appointment has to be cancelled." Dr. Katz said.
"A sci-fi convention? Isn't that were losers go to relive the victories that they never had and converse about the most mindless issues?" Laura asked.
"How is that different from right here?" Dr. Katz chuckled.
"They wear costumes." Laura stated.
"Glad to be in this sincere world?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Truly, you're deeply profound." She tiredly said as he went into his office. She picked up the phone, checked in the address book under 'very nutty', and phoned. "Hello, this is Dr. Katz's office. Is this Tenten?"
"Yes," she answered. A mumbling came from her closet, and she got off her bed to close the sliding doors on a tied up and gagged Neji. "I'm so excited that I'm going to be the first in my team to see Dr. Katz. It makes me feel special."
"Truly, you're very special." Laura rolled her eyes. "Dr. Katz is not available today, and you will be given another time slot in a week. Thank you for your patience."
"What?!" Tenten said but Laura had already hung up the phone. She threw the phone at the wall then walked to her bed and rolled Lee out from his tolley. "Looks like you two will be sleeping over a bit longer."
Dr. Katz was feeding his fish when Kakashi arrived in his office. "What happened to the couch?"
The can of fish food dropped to the floor and Dr. Katz turned around and said in a stern voice: "Where have you been? You're late!!!"
Kakashi's exposed right eye lazily searched over to Dr. Katz. He shrugged. "I have a good excuse."
"Do you mind taking your mask off?" Dr. Katz requested. "This is a safe environment and you should be able to expose yourself here."
Kakashi started to remove his mask. "A cute red head wouldn't let me go."
Before Kakashi could remove his mask and show Dr. Katz his face, the end music started. "You know what the music means."
"I have looked underneath the underneath," Kakashi fixed his mask, "and the music means that you are not strong willed enough to properly end your session with your patients."
Kakashi exited the door struggling to retie his mask. He walked up to the front desk. "When is my next appointment?"
Laura looked at her time sheet and saw 10 am. "It would be at 9 am."
Kakashi tilted his head back and sneezed causing his mask to come off. Before anyone could see Kakashi's face, a flash of light blinded the room and smoke filled the room and a door was knocked down. When the smoke cleared, Kakashi was gone and a dark haired woman with a round face stood in her grey trench coat. The ghettoblaster that she held in the air over her head played Dead Kennedy's. "My name is Mitarashi Anko!"
"I hate you; I hate you so much." Laura told Anko.
"Sorry about the sitting arrangements." Dr. Katz talked down to Anko who squated on a stool. "Tell me; what do you want most out of people."
"ATTENTION!" She threw her fist into the air and tightly closed her eyes in passion.
"Hmmm.. hmm..." Dr. Katz nodded and then yawned. Anko slammed her hand against the coffee table.
"Am I boring to you?"
"Frankly, yes." Dr. Katz told her. "I've already treated a patient who wanted more attention. Give me something interesting about you."
"How about..." Anko grabbed onto her coat collar and pulled it back revealing a curse seal, "this!"
"Great a tatoo." Dr. Katz looked close at it. "I've already seen that before. Hey, what do you have in your mouth."
"Nuthin'," she muttered from whatever was in her mouth. Dr. Katz held his hand out to her. "It chalkate. Min!"
"But I don't have any chocolate in this room." Dr. Katz stated.
"I fawd it on the flore untur the couch." Anko passed through her wide mouth. "It's flore chalkate!"
"Give it to me," Dr. Katz demanded but Anko crossed her arms and looked away from him. She shook her head. "You're a big girl now, and shouldn't be eatting stuff off the ground."
"No, no, no, no, nonono." Anko said. He gulped the object down then she held her throat. "Owww.."
Her face started turning a ligth blue. "Let me up you spit that out."
"Ah-huh." She said and tried to shallow again. She kneeled over and rubbed her tubby. "Hmmm..owww.. hmmm.."
Dr. Katz started to pat her on the back and the object started to come up her throat.
"One more hit should do it." The end music played. "Well, you know what the music means."
Anko got up and stumbled around and left. On the way out, she tripped into the door and removed it from its hinges. "Why do ninjas keep on wreaking my office?"
The phone rang and Laura asked. "Hello? Dr. Katz's office."
Ben rested on the couch. "Yo, anything exciting happened at the office."
"I met the first patient that I actually could bear." Laura said. "His face was covered. I was so close to seeing him."
"I bet he's covering something ugly." Ben told her. "It would be best that you imagine that my face was behind the mask."
Laura slammed the phone down. Her mind was invaded by the image of Kakashi looking like Ben. She dug her face into her arm and hit her fist again the desk.
An imperial storm trooper holding a bag came up to Ben. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper??"
"Ben, it's me. I'm your father." Dr. Katz said.
"No, no, noooo!" Ben shouted and laugh. He pointed to be the bag. "Is that my costume?"
"Yep!" He handed the bag over to Ben. He walked away to the washroom. "Now, what to do?"
Dr. Katz turned around and saw a man with yellow plastic short shorts and a very short yellow top that left most of his protruding gut covered in hair. "Oh-no."
"I'm Man-Faye," he showed Dr. Katz his back and twisted his head around to blow him a kiss. It was a tragedy to the character Faye from Cowboy Bebop.
"That's no moon, that's a space station," Dr. Katz commented on Man-Faye's large ass and fled the scene. He walked into Ben who flipped the orange visor on his hemlet and stood with his fists at his hips in his Rebel X-wing pilot uniform.
"Kick ass," Ben said.
"I think we were mistaken. This is drag queen convention." Dr. Katz said.
"What do you mean?" Ben asked and pulled a man carring a large sword over his shoulder. The man wore a long red coat that hung together with a wide belt. Most of his face was covered up with a flared black collar. "See, this man is dressed up as his same sex. He's Auron from Final Fantasy X."
"Is that where I come from?" The man adjusted his round sunglasses. "Do you know which bus I have to take to get to this Final Fantasy X?"
"Wait, are you related to Aburame Shino?" Dr. Katz asked. The arm that was laying in the case and under the coat turned to face up.
"Yeah." Shino's father said. "What's what my hand reads."
"Who the hell is that weirdo?" Ben said to himself looking pass Shino's father.
"How could you forget your son?" Dr. Katz asked. "You're not going to forget our session are you?"
"I have a very bad memory." He admitted. "Glad to have met you two."
"Same here." Dr. Katz said and offered him a hand. He took it and released his large sword that fell behind him and hit Man-Faye. "Dr. Katz."
"I don't know my name." He said. "Sorry."
Dr. Katz looked over to Man-Faye who was being carried away from some First Aid workers who were there to handle the aftermath of a Han Solo/Greedo argument. "Doesn't matter, Mr. Aburame."
Dr. Katz and Ben sat on the couch and watched TV. "I had fun."
"I did as well." Dr. Katz said. "You can take the costume off now."
"I don't think so." Ben retorted. "Should we make the promise?"
"Yes we should."
"For now on, I shall be known as squad leader." Ben sneered. "Nah. The real promise. Let's promise to never go to a sci-fi convention again."
"Agreed." Dr. Katz said. "There are better things to do than talk about characters that don't exist."
"Can you tell me about your patients?" Ben asked.
"That would not be ethical." Dr. Katz said.
"But it would be entertaining, wouldn't it?"
"Yes. Yes it would." Dr. Katz agreed.
-----------------
Next Patients: Gaara and Asume
Guest Appearance: Iruka
Chapter Four: Sci-fi Convention
Dr. Katz and Ben were having their coffee on the kitchen table. Ben amused himself with the toy the box of cereal was containing and Dr. Katz wrestled with the newspaper.
"Why do you think people expect when they knock on your door and turn it into some melody?" Ben asked.
"I think, Ben, that they are being considerate." Dr. Katz slipped his coffee.
"Nah, I don't think that's true. If anything, they want to feel like they are someone important who deserves some theme song." Ben said and tapped his knuckles on the table performing a bit of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'. "Oh? That's John at the door, quick someone get it."
"In the middle ages, they used to announce kings with the sound of the horns." Dr. Katz added. "Oh, and how about the people who open a door and say 'knock, knock'?"
They shuddered. "Since the start of these trends, this world has got into the crapper."
"Ben," Dr. Katz said and his son grumbled, "do you have any plans for today?"
"Yeah, if you're up for it." Ben said.
"What do you have in mind?"
"There's a sci-fi convention, and I was hoping we could go together. You know, dress up, meet the actors not important enough to be casted in the new sequel." Ben described. "How about it?"
"How about this costume idea?" Dr. Katz said. "The invisible man. You see, I would not go to the convention at all. The people who go to these conventions are... how should I stick it to them... one wheel short of the discovery of the wheel."
"The invisible man, huh?" Ben wondered. "Are you going to follow in the way of your hair?"
He leered at Ben. "I'm coming, but you have to work on your invitational skills."
"I'll meet you there around 4 o'clock." Ben said. "Pick up some costumes on the way to the convention centre."
"I would need to cancel an appointment, but okay." Dr. Katz said.
"Doesn't something like cancelling appointments bug you?" Ben asked.
"Yeah, but for some reason, it doesn't this time."
Dr. Katz hung his green jacket and brown hat on the coat rack in the front office. "Good day, Laura."
"That was how I was seeing it before you came in here to tell me that." She said.
"Ben and I are going to a sci-fi convention this afternoon, and my last appointment has to be cancelled." Dr. Katz said.
"A sci-fi convention? Isn't that were losers go to relive the victories that they never had and converse about the most mindless issues?" Laura asked.
"How is that different from right here?" Dr. Katz chuckled.
"They wear costumes." Laura stated.
"Glad to be in this sincere world?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Truly, you're deeply profound." She tiredly said as he went into his office. She picked up the phone, checked in the address book under 'very nutty', and phoned. "Hello, this is Dr. Katz's office. Is this Tenten?"
"Yes," she answered. A mumbling came from her closet, and she got off her bed to close the sliding doors on a tied up and gagged Neji. "I'm so excited that I'm going to be the first in my team to see Dr. Katz. It makes me feel special."
"Truly, you're very special." Laura rolled her eyes. "Dr. Katz is not available today, and you will be given another time slot in a week. Thank you for your patience."
"What?!" Tenten said but Laura had already hung up the phone. She threw the phone at the wall then walked to her bed and rolled Lee out from his tolley. "Looks like you two will be sleeping over a bit longer."
Dr. Katz was feeding his fish when Kakashi arrived in his office. "What happened to the couch?"
The can of fish food dropped to the floor and Dr. Katz turned around and said in a stern voice: "Where have you been? You're late!!!"
Kakashi's exposed right eye lazily searched over to Dr. Katz. He shrugged. "I have a good excuse."
"Do you mind taking your mask off?" Dr. Katz requested. "This is a safe environment and you should be able to expose yourself here."
Kakashi started to remove his mask. "A cute red head wouldn't let me go."
Before Kakashi could remove his mask and show Dr. Katz his face, the end music started. "You know what the music means."
"I have looked underneath the underneath," Kakashi fixed his mask, "and the music means that you are not strong willed enough to properly end your session with your patients."
Kakashi exited the door struggling to retie his mask. He walked up to the front desk. "When is my next appointment?"
Laura looked at her time sheet and saw 10 am. "It would be at 9 am."
Kakashi tilted his head back and sneezed causing his mask to come off. Before anyone could see Kakashi's face, a flash of light blinded the room and smoke filled the room and a door was knocked down. When the smoke cleared, Kakashi was gone and a dark haired woman with a round face stood in her grey trench coat. The ghettoblaster that she held in the air over her head played Dead Kennedy's. "My name is Mitarashi Anko!"
"I hate you; I hate you so much." Laura told Anko.
"Sorry about the sitting arrangements." Dr. Katz talked down to Anko who squated on a stool. "Tell me; what do you want most out of people."
"ATTENTION!" She threw her fist into the air and tightly closed her eyes in passion.
"Hmmm.. hmm..." Dr. Katz nodded and then yawned. Anko slammed her hand against the coffee table.
"Am I boring to you?"
"Frankly, yes." Dr. Katz told her. "I've already treated a patient who wanted more attention. Give me something interesting about you."
"How about..." Anko grabbed onto her coat collar and pulled it back revealing a curse seal, "this!"
"Great a tatoo." Dr. Katz looked close at it. "I've already seen that before. Hey, what do you have in your mouth."
"Nuthin'," she muttered from whatever was in her mouth. Dr. Katz held his hand out to her. "It chalkate. Min!"
"But I don't have any chocolate in this room." Dr. Katz stated.
"I fawd it on the flore untur the couch." Anko passed through her wide mouth. "It's flore chalkate!"
"Give it to me," Dr. Katz demanded but Anko crossed her arms and looked away from him. She shook her head. "You're a big girl now, and shouldn't be eatting stuff off the ground."
"No, no, no, no, nonono." Anko said. He gulped the object down then she held her throat. "Owww.."
Her face started turning a ligth blue. "Let me up you spit that out."
"Ah-huh." She said and tried to shallow again. She kneeled over and rubbed her tubby. "Hmmm..owww.. hmmm.."
Dr. Katz started to pat her on the back and the object started to come up her throat.
"One more hit should do it." The end music played. "Well, you know what the music means."
Anko got up and stumbled around and left. On the way out, she tripped into the door and removed it from its hinges. "Why do ninjas keep on wreaking my office?"
The phone rang and Laura asked. "Hello? Dr. Katz's office."
Ben rested on the couch. "Yo, anything exciting happened at the office."
"I met the first patient that I actually could bear." Laura said. "His face was covered. I was so close to seeing him."
"I bet he's covering something ugly." Ben told her. "It would be best that you imagine that my face was behind the mask."
Laura slammed the phone down. Her mind was invaded by the image of Kakashi looking like Ben. She dug her face into her arm and hit her fist again the desk.
An imperial storm trooper holding a bag came up to Ben. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper??"
"Ben, it's me. I'm your father." Dr. Katz said.
"No, no, noooo!" Ben shouted and laugh. He pointed to be the bag. "Is that my costume?"
"Yep!" He handed the bag over to Ben. He walked away to the washroom. "Now, what to do?"
Dr. Katz turned around and saw a man with yellow plastic short shorts and a very short yellow top that left most of his protruding gut covered in hair. "Oh-no."
"I'm Man-Faye," he showed Dr. Katz his back and twisted his head around to blow him a kiss. It was a tragedy to the character Faye from Cowboy Bebop.
"That's no moon, that's a space station," Dr. Katz commented on Man-Faye's large ass and fled the scene. He walked into Ben who flipped the orange visor on his hemlet and stood with his fists at his hips in his Rebel X-wing pilot uniform.
"Kick ass," Ben said.
"I think we were mistaken. This is drag queen convention." Dr. Katz said.
"What do you mean?" Ben asked and pulled a man carring a large sword over his shoulder. The man wore a long red coat that hung together with a wide belt. Most of his face was covered up with a flared black collar. "See, this man is dressed up as his same sex. He's Auron from Final Fantasy X."
"Is that where I come from?" The man adjusted his round sunglasses. "Do you know which bus I have to take to get to this Final Fantasy X?"
"Wait, are you related to Aburame Shino?" Dr. Katz asked. The arm that was laying in the case and under the coat turned to face up.
"Yeah." Shino's father said. "What's what my hand reads."
"Who the hell is that weirdo?" Ben said to himself looking pass Shino's father.
"How could you forget your son?" Dr. Katz asked. "You're not going to forget our session are you?"
"I have a very bad memory." He admitted. "Glad to have met you two."
"Same here." Dr. Katz said and offered him a hand. He took it and released his large sword that fell behind him and hit Man-Faye. "Dr. Katz."
"I don't know my name." He said. "Sorry."
Dr. Katz looked over to Man-Faye who was being carried away from some First Aid workers who were there to handle the aftermath of a Han Solo/Greedo argument. "Doesn't matter, Mr. Aburame."
Dr. Katz and Ben sat on the couch and watched TV. "I had fun."
"I did as well." Dr. Katz said. "You can take the costume off now."
"I don't think so." Ben retorted. "Should we make the promise?"
"Yes we should."
"For now on, I shall be known as squad leader." Ben sneered. "Nah. The real promise. Let's promise to never go to a sci-fi convention again."
"Agreed." Dr. Katz said. "There are better things to do than talk about characters that don't exist."
"Can you tell me about your patients?" Ben asked.
"That would not be ethical." Dr. Katz said.
"But it would be entertaining, wouldn't it?"
"Yes. Yes it would." Dr. Katz agreed.
-----------------
Next Patients: Gaara and Asume
Guest Appearance: Iruka