Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist to Ninjas
Chapter Five: Rainbow
Ben entered the dining room and sat across from Dr. Katz who wore a multicolour tie. "Going to some pride march?"
"I don't know what you are asking about, Ben." Dr. Katz slipped his coffee.
"Don't you think it is a little fruity to be wearing a rainbow tie?" Ben asked. He lifted the tie to his face and then it fell to his yellow dress shirt.
"I'll tell you," Dr. Katz said, "this isn't a rainbow."
"How so?"
"It doesn't follow the colour spectrum." Dr. Katz said matter of factly as if everyone knew what the colour spectrum was. "Another thing that doesn't make this a rainbow is that isn't caused by rain. Finally, in its basic form, a rainbow must bend and can't be straight stripes like my tie."
"I hope that you have written that down," Ben said. "You'll be explaining that to every sensible man you come across."
Dr. Katz ignored his son and handed him an envolope. "Wow, this is the first time I have ever got anything in the mail. Get the camera, pop."
"Let's say we laminate it to a plank of wood so we can show everyone your victory." He said.
"Theim fightin' werds," Ben said in a southern accent, "meet me by the chicken coop, sissy."
Ben rotated the letter around and then read the front: "Dr. Ben Katz."
"It must be a mistake, Ben" Dr. Katz said.
"No, no, no," Ben shook his hand, "credit card companies don't make mistakes. I am a doctor, call me Dr. Katz."
"That would take around eight years of university to become a doctor," Dr. Katz, the father, spoke, "and you had skipped the first week of community college before you dropped out."
"Bout time I get some credit for that. Credit card!" Ben waved his new credit card in Dr. Katz's face emmiting a devious snicker.
Dr. Katz, the older bald therapist, stood in front of Laura. "Are there any messages?"
"Yeah," Laura said and put the gum back into her mouth, which had come from mouth to wrapping around her finger. "The Leprachaun union called and they want to know where you would like your pot of gold. Right on your lap will be fine, right?"
"Charming as ever," Dr. Katz straightened his multi-coloured tie. "This really isn't a rainbow."
Laura laughed lusciously laying her forehead into her hand. "Please don't ruin the joke."
"Oh, I get the joke," Dr. Katz said, "but maybe you should save it for someone who has a rainbow tie on."
"Well," Laura returned to her grim self, "how is that not a rainbow?"
"As you can see," Dr. Katz put one shoe on the desk and after bringing it back down put the other shoe on the desk, " I have two shoes on."
"I don't follow you," Laura stated.
"Well, Leprachauns are recognized as shoemakers who only work on one pair of shoes," Dr. Katz giggled.
"And, you're critizing my joke?" Laura said.
"Sorry." Dr. Katz said. "We should have gone right to business after a proper chuckle of your joke."
"Whatever," Laura said in her dull voice, "we can forget about the whole thing."
"What thing?" Dr. Katz asked. "Are there any non-mystical creature related messages?"
"Yeah, Iruka had called to say that you had left to do a home session with some unstable kid." Laura said. "What are you doing here?"
"What would I be doing at a house call?" Dr. Katz asked. "I wouldn't agree with that."
"Well, Iruka did pick up a Dr. Katz."
"Oh no," Dr. Katz hit his forehead with a palm.
"What?" Laura asked.
"I think that Iruka may have picked up Ben."
"How did you get that scar across your nose?" Ben asked Iruka.
"There a corner store that does scars for eight-teen dollars." Iruka said guiding Ben to his patient.
"Huh?" Ben wondered. "In this place, you pay to have your face wreaked."
"The girls dig it." Iruka said. They came upon a building that had a red curtain which Iruka pushed away. "Here's your patient."
"Thanks." Ben entered. The room was dark and a boy with red hair and dark marks rounding his eyes sat crossed legged on a pillow surrounded by candles. "So, you're my patient."
"Love only yourself, and fight only for yourself." Gaara spoke.
"What if someone stronger wants to fight in my place?" Ben asked. "Should I allow him and you know, shake his hands?"
"Damn," Gaara said, "I never thought of that situation."
"That's why my name's Dr. Katz." Ben said and rubbed his chin. "So, you know, tell me about what a freak you are."
"I don't like it," he started in a creepy slow voice, "when people in front of me stop to see an accident. You know, there are other people who want to see it too."
"Right on," Ben nodded his head. In front of him, he saw a tube coming from a glass container, filled partiallly with water, and intook some smoke. He blew out a cloud. "What else?"
"My teacher hold me never to run with scissors," Gaara explained, "that is what a knife is for."
"Cool," Ben smiled. "Tell me more."
"'The knife ran away with the spoon'," Gaara recited, "but it was only recongized in Massachusetts."
"I don't get it." Ben said but laughed harder than ever.
"If I'm Gaara of the desert," he started, "why am I so pale?"
Outside a gong was hit and sounded in the dark room. "You know what that means."
"No, I don't." Gaara admitted.
"It's got me as well." Ben stated.
Dr. Katz pressed the button on his intercom for Laura. "Is my next patient here?"
"I'll send him right now." Laura said with a cough at the end.
Asuma, a large fellow with a dark patch of facial hair under his chin came in with a lit cigarette. He sat down on the new couch. "Hey, what is up?"
Dr. Katz got out from behind his desk and sat on his regular chair. "The price of this session."
"A kidder!" Asuma put his hands behind his head. "I like that."
"What is the first thing that comes to your mind," Dr. Katz put his hand into a triangle and waited for Asuma's reaction.
"What if the first thing that comes to my mind," Asuma started, "was completely irrelevent to our discussion."
"Okay," Dr. Katz said, "why don't you pick a topic of your choice."
"Why do strangers bug me for cigarettes?"
"I don't know." Dr. Katz said.
"Are they teaching the younger generation to not take candy from stranger?" He wondered. "If they think that innocent child will be poisoned by candy they receive from strangers, what do they think will happen to them, as adults with something hanging over their head, when they receive something from strangers?"
"I don't know." Dr. Katz said.
"Do you have any answers?" Asuma laughed.
"Maybe you want to ask me a question to see if I do or not." Dr. Katz suggested.
"Who would you have sex with: Betty or Veronica?" Asuma asked.
"I don't think that is information you will have to know for your mental healt." Dr. Katz said.
"Betty." Asuma shook his head. "You're a Betty man."
Dr. Katz erased the chest of the bust he was drawing of Betty and increased the cup size. "Can we get back to you?"
"That rainbow tie is really bugging me," Asuma announced. "Veronica is my choice."
"I think there's drugs to correct that choice."
Author note: Betty! Okay, this is a question any guy should answer. Does he like Betty or Veronica? This isn't about cartoon boobs, but a desire between sweet smart sensitive girls and sexy stylist sensual girls. I do willingly conclude that I wish for an intelligentual equal, with an unrealistic body. eheh (Damn am I drunk? Not enough, one more Mike's hard lemonade!)
Gaara blew out five smoke rings before talking. "I have a problem falling asleeping."
"Have you tried lying in bed and closing your eyes?" Dr. Katz, the son, asked.
"I don't really want to fall asleep," Gaara stated, "we fall in love, but shouldn't we rise to love? Who is above love that he must fall into love?"
"I don't know," Ben said, "I'm just a doctor. See my credit card."
"Nice hologram," Gaara said.
"Where do you want to go in life?" Ben repeated the same words his father had given him.
"No one wants to go to failure, but itn't that the best way to go?" He asked. "See, if you go to failure, either you win or you lose. Either of them is a victory."
"You should be a therapist." Ben suggested.
"I can't ignore my problems," Gaara said, "for my fifth birthday, my father gave me an assassination. You can bet that I took out the trash for the next week after that."
"What are the odds?" Ben asked.
"As a member of the smoking community, I am happy to have my own section," Asuma told Dr. Katz.
"Why is that?" Dr. Katz finished putting up the curtain between him and Asuma.
"There is hardly any people in my sections. Any solf-core smoker, who is contemplating quiting smoking is with the other side." Asume said. "No one in the smoker's selection even remotely talks about the patch."
"Is there any hint that you would give up smoking?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Not until I cannot influence the younger generation of my habit." Asuma said.
"Why do you want to have the younger generation smoking?"
"If I am out of smokes," Asuma said, "who am I going to go to for asking for cigarettes?"
Dr. Katz and Dr. Katz sat down for dinner. Dr. Katz, the older bald man, asked his son, Dr. Katz; "Betty or Veronica?"
"Betty," Dr. Katz responded. "Blondes just want to have fun, plus she is smart."
"Do you think that Betty is the dream girl that everyone wants to have?" Dr. Katz asked.
"As for cartoon characters, the list starts off as this," Ben said, "Daria, Velma, and Betty."
"Velma? You mean from the series, Scooby Doo?" Dr. Katz asked.
"When pairing up, Daphne and Fred, Norville and Scooby." Ben stated. "Velma was all by herself. That is hot."
"So the not so popular girl is a man's wet dream?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Yep," Ben said, "especially if he is wearing a rainbow tie."
"Betty isn't too much to ask for?" Dr. Katz ignored Ben statement.
"Daria Morgendorffer is what men should seek." Ben wisely said. "She's the dream of all men."
"True." Dr. Katz said. "I realize you also had a chance to become a therapist. How was that?"
"Actually," Ben started, "I can't remember."
Author noteS: I am so drunk. But really, Daira Morgendorffer is the most honest girl there is. Why have I passed up the chance to me with a girl like that because of her nerdish appearance? What have I given up?
Next Patients: Yuuhi Kurenai and Akimichi Choji
Guest Appearance: Ashinami Raidou (Don't know why, but he will have some part in the story.)
Chapter Five: Rainbow
Ben entered the dining room and sat across from Dr. Katz who wore a multicolour tie. "Going to some pride march?"
"I don't know what you are asking about, Ben." Dr. Katz slipped his coffee.
"Don't you think it is a little fruity to be wearing a rainbow tie?" Ben asked. He lifted the tie to his face and then it fell to his yellow dress shirt.
"I'll tell you," Dr. Katz said, "this isn't a rainbow."
"How so?"
"It doesn't follow the colour spectrum." Dr. Katz said matter of factly as if everyone knew what the colour spectrum was. "Another thing that doesn't make this a rainbow is that isn't caused by rain. Finally, in its basic form, a rainbow must bend and can't be straight stripes like my tie."
"I hope that you have written that down," Ben said. "You'll be explaining that to every sensible man you come across."
Dr. Katz ignored his son and handed him an envolope. "Wow, this is the first time I have ever got anything in the mail. Get the camera, pop."
"Let's say we laminate it to a plank of wood so we can show everyone your victory." He said.
"Theim fightin' werds," Ben said in a southern accent, "meet me by the chicken coop, sissy."
Ben rotated the letter around and then read the front: "Dr. Ben Katz."
"It must be a mistake, Ben" Dr. Katz said.
"No, no, no," Ben shook his hand, "credit card companies don't make mistakes. I am a doctor, call me Dr. Katz."
"That would take around eight years of university to become a doctor," Dr. Katz, the father, spoke, "and you had skipped the first week of community college before you dropped out."
"Bout time I get some credit for that. Credit card!" Ben waved his new credit card in Dr. Katz's face emmiting a devious snicker.
Dr. Katz, the older bald therapist, stood in front of Laura. "Are there any messages?"
"Yeah," Laura said and put the gum back into her mouth, which had come from mouth to wrapping around her finger. "The Leprachaun union called and they want to know where you would like your pot of gold. Right on your lap will be fine, right?"
"Charming as ever," Dr. Katz straightened his multi-coloured tie. "This really isn't a rainbow."
Laura laughed lusciously laying her forehead into her hand. "Please don't ruin the joke."
"Oh, I get the joke," Dr. Katz said, "but maybe you should save it for someone who has a rainbow tie on."
"Well," Laura returned to her grim self, "how is that not a rainbow?"
"As you can see," Dr. Katz put one shoe on the desk and after bringing it back down put the other shoe on the desk, " I have two shoes on."
"I don't follow you," Laura stated.
"Well, Leprachauns are recognized as shoemakers who only work on one pair of shoes," Dr. Katz giggled.
"And, you're critizing my joke?" Laura said.
"Sorry." Dr. Katz said. "We should have gone right to business after a proper chuckle of your joke."
"Whatever," Laura said in her dull voice, "we can forget about the whole thing."
"What thing?" Dr. Katz asked. "Are there any non-mystical creature related messages?"
"Yeah, Iruka had called to say that you had left to do a home session with some unstable kid." Laura said. "What are you doing here?"
"What would I be doing at a house call?" Dr. Katz asked. "I wouldn't agree with that."
"Well, Iruka did pick up a Dr. Katz."
"Oh no," Dr. Katz hit his forehead with a palm.
"What?" Laura asked.
"I think that Iruka may have picked up Ben."
"How did you get that scar across your nose?" Ben asked Iruka.
"There a corner store that does scars for eight-teen dollars." Iruka said guiding Ben to his patient.
"Huh?" Ben wondered. "In this place, you pay to have your face wreaked."
"The girls dig it." Iruka said. They came upon a building that had a red curtain which Iruka pushed away. "Here's your patient."
"Thanks." Ben entered. The room was dark and a boy with red hair and dark marks rounding his eyes sat crossed legged on a pillow surrounded by candles. "So, you're my patient."
"Love only yourself, and fight only for yourself." Gaara spoke.
"What if someone stronger wants to fight in my place?" Ben asked. "Should I allow him and you know, shake his hands?"
"Damn," Gaara said, "I never thought of that situation."
"That's why my name's Dr. Katz." Ben said and rubbed his chin. "So, you know, tell me about what a freak you are."
"I don't like it," he started in a creepy slow voice, "when people in front of me stop to see an accident. You know, there are other people who want to see it too."
"Right on," Ben nodded his head. In front of him, he saw a tube coming from a glass container, filled partiallly with water, and intook some smoke. He blew out a cloud. "What else?"
"My teacher hold me never to run with scissors," Gaara explained, "that is what a knife is for."
"Cool," Ben smiled. "Tell me more."
"'The knife ran away with the spoon'," Gaara recited, "but it was only recongized in Massachusetts."
"I don't get it." Ben said but laughed harder than ever.
"If I'm Gaara of the desert," he started, "why am I so pale?"
Outside a gong was hit and sounded in the dark room. "You know what that means."
"No, I don't." Gaara admitted.
"It's got me as well." Ben stated.
Dr. Katz pressed the button on his intercom for Laura. "Is my next patient here?"
"I'll send him right now." Laura said with a cough at the end.
Asuma, a large fellow with a dark patch of facial hair under his chin came in with a lit cigarette. He sat down on the new couch. "Hey, what is up?"
Dr. Katz got out from behind his desk and sat on his regular chair. "The price of this session."
"A kidder!" Asuma put his hands behind his head. "I like that."
"What is the first thing that comes to your mind," Dr. Katz put his hand into a triangle and waited for Asuma's reaction.
"What if the first thing that comes to my mind," Asuma started, "was completely irrelevent to our discussion."
"Okay," Dr. Katz said, "why don't you pick a topic of your choice."
"Why do strangers bug me for cigarettes?"
"I don't know." Dr. Katz said.
"Are they teaching the younger generation to not take candy from stranger?" He wondered. "If they think that innocent child will be poisoned by candy they receive from strangers, what do they think will happen to them, as adults with something hanging over their head, when they receive something from strangers?"
"I don't know." Dr. Katz said.
"Do you have any answers?" Asuma laughed.
"Maybe you want to ask me a question to see if I do or not." Dr. Katz suggested.
"Who would you have sex with: Betty or Veronica?" Asuma asked.
"I don't think that is information you will have to know for your mental healt." Dr. Katz said.
"Betty." Asuma shook his head. "You're a Betty man."
Dr. Katz erased the chest of the bust he was drawing of Betty and increased the cup size. "Can we get back to you?"
"That rainbow tie is really bugging me," Asuma announced. "Veronica is my choice."
"I think there's drugs to correct that choice."
Author note: Betty! Okay, this is a question any guy should answer. Does he like Betty or Veronica? This isn't about cartoon boobs, but a desire between sweet smart sensitive girls and sexy stylist sensual girls. I do willingly conclude that I wish for an intelligentual equal, with an unrealistic body. eheh (Damn am I drunk? Not enough, one more Mike's hard lemonade!)
Gaara blew out five smoke rings before talking. "I have a problem falling asleeping."
"Have you tried lying in bed and closing your eyes?" Dr. Katz, the son, asked.
"I don't really want to fall asleep," Gaara stated, "we fall in love, but shouldn't we rise to love? Who is above love that he must fall into love?"
"I don't know," Ben said, "I'm just a doctor. See my credit card."
"Nice hologram," Gaara said.
"Where do you want to go in life?" Ben repeated the same words his father had given him.
"No one wants to go to failure, but itn't that the best way to go?" He asked. "See, if you go to failure, either you win or you lose. Either of them is a victory."
"You should be a therapist." Ben suggested.
"I can't ignore my problems," Gaara said, "for my fifth birthday, my father gave me an assassination. You can bet that I took out the trash for the next week after that."
"What are the odds?" Ben asked.
"As a member of the smoking community, I am happy to have my own section," Asuma told Dr. Katz.
"Why is that?" Dr. Katz finished putting up the curtain between him and Asuma.
"There is hardly any people in my sections. Any solf-core smoker, who is contemplating quiting smoking is with the other side." Asume said. "No one in the smoker's selection even remotely talks about the patch."
"Is there any hint that you would give up smoking?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Not until I cannot influence the younger generation of my habit." Asuma said.
"Why do you want to have the younger generation smoking?"
"If I am out of smokes," Asuma said, "who am I going to go to for asking for cigarettes?"
Dr. Katz and Dr. Katz sat down for dinner. Dr. Katz, the older bald man, asked his son, Dr. Katz; "Betty or Veronica?"
"Betty," Dr. Katz responded. "Blondes just want to have fun, plus she is smart."
"Do you think that Betty is the dream girl that everyone wants to have?" Dr. Katz asked.
"As for cartoon characters, the list starts off as this," Ben said, "Daria, Velma, and Betty."
"Velma? You mean from the series, Scooby Doo?" Dr. Katz asked.
"When pairing up, Daphne and Fred, Norville and Scooby." Ben stated. "Velma was all by herself. That is hot."
"So the not so popular girl is a man's wet dream?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Yep," Ben said, "especially if he is wearing a rainbow tie."
"Betty isn't too much to ask for?" Dr. Katz ignored Ben statement.
"Daria Morgendorffer is what men should seek." Ben wisely said. "She's the dream of all men."
"True." Dr. Katz said. "I realize you also had a chance to become a therapist. How was that?"
"Actually," Ben started, "I can't remember."
Author noteS: I am so drunk. But really, Daira Morgendorffer is the most honest girl there is. Why have I passed up the chance to me with a girl like that because of her nerdish appearance? What have I given up?
Next Patients: Yuuhi Kurenai and Akimichi Choji
Guest Appearance: Ashinami Raidou (Don't know why, but he will have some part in the story.)