Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist to Ninjas
Chapter Six: Sugar
By: Cornel Kennedy
Knocking on the door to the washroom, Dr. Katz pulled back a yellow sleeve and looked at his watch. His eyes glared at the face of his watch and his foot tapped the ground. His hand rubbed his face that was covered in stumble. He knocked again. "Ben, I have to shave before I go to work."
Ben stared at himself in the mirror over the skin with a hand on his chin, and with more knocking, Ben looked over his shoulder and scowled. "Just five more minutes."
"You said you were going to be five minutes in the washroom when we were in the living room." Dr. Katz stated. "That was five minutes ago."
"Well, I don't travel at the speed of light," Ben said, "I wasn't in the washroom in an instant. The shortest distance between two points is a line, so why don't you stop getting out of line with me and get to your point? Why do you need the washroom?"
"I need to shave before going to work, Ben." Dr. Katz said.
"Did you install some face recognization device on your car and can't start the car without a clean shave?" Ben asked. "You looked fine to me when I left for the washroom."
"Ben, this may come to a surprise, but there is a different set of standards in the outside."
"In the outside," Ben chuckled, "what about these standards?"
"Well outside, we don't go around killing people because other people wouldn't find it fair. However, I don't think anyone there would object if I came in there and drowned you in the toilet." Dr. Katz jested. "Really Ben, are you having a problem you would like to speak about?"
"No, you can't turn off that doctor mode." Ben said turned his head to see the two sides of his face.
"I used a preposition to end a sentence, Ben. I am not here to help you; I'm here for you." Dr. Katz told his son. "Is there anything missing from you, Ben."
"Ben, uh?" he sighed. "Why don't you call me anything else?"
"Stay in the washroom another minute, and I have a few names for you." Dr. Katz joked. "Do you want to change your name?"
"Nah, Ben is a great name. What I want," he rolled his eyes up, "this is discomforting. I don't know the rules for this sort of thing."
"Can we talk face to face?" Dr. Katz wondered.
"Can you ask to have a nickname, or does it just come to you?"
"I think you'll have to go outside for a nickname. I had got my nickname at work." Dr. Katz said.
"What's your nickname from work."
"It wasn't my current work." Dr. Katz explained. He recollected it and put his hand on his bald head. "I rather not say."
"It has something to do with your hair," Ben laughed. "I think that what's missing in my life is a nickname."
"Meet some people, and it will occur naturally." Dr. Katz suggested. "Got any preference. I may be able to tell you what crowd to go to."
"Scarface," Ben grinned at the mirror.
"You do realize that you're going to have to have a scar on your face to be called that." Dr. Katz mentioned.
"You don't say."
Laura looked up from her desk and saw Dr. Katz with a dirty beard. "What with that..."
Dr. Katz interrupted her, "don't want to hear about it."
"Your first patient is waiting for you in the office. She came by with her boyfriend." Laura announced.
"She can wait," Dr. Katz said, "what do you believe about reducing the sugar in my diet?"
"What answer will stop this conversation soonest?" She asked.
"That it would be bad choice for me." Dr. Katz told her.
"I say go through with it." Laura said.
"Damn, how did you know it was a trap?" Dr. Katz asked.
"I didn't, but I can't avoid influencing you to make the wrong decision." Laura stated.
Kurenai sat on the new couch, and adjusted her white toga that was over a red sweater with one long sleeve. Dr. Katz told his seat and put his hands together. "How is your relationship going?"
"What relationship?" Kurenai asked and crossed her arms.
"With you boyfriend who dropped you off." Dr. Katz answered.
"Boyfriend?!" Kurenai said.
"Husband?"
"Husband?!"
"Love slave?"
"Hmm..." Kurenai pictured herself in leather and a whip with Asume tied to a chair. "Love slave?!"
"Aren't you a couple?"
"Couple?!" Kurenai outbursted. "I am so tried of people thinking that because a woman is near a man that she is in some romantic relationship with him. I was in line for the movies."
Clip:
(Kurenai performing all voices)
Kurenai is next in line for movie tickets and Shino is a head of her.
"And how about that lady standing five feet away from you?" The lady at the cash register says. "Aren't you going out with her?"
Kakashi who is standing behind then says: "Wait, I thought I was the one who was suppose to be thought to be going out with her."
End of clip:
"I let the boy in front of me pay, of course," Kurenai said. "That is why women have to stick in pairs. Don't go anywhere my yourself. Either you're with a friend who happens to be a male, don't even suspect that he's going to be your viewed as your friend. You have to be with another woman. That is how we are able to avoid confrontations with guys we don't like at the bar."
Clip:
Kurenai is hanging out with Anko at a bar.
Gai nods at Kakashi and gives him the nice guy pose before heading over to Kurenai and Anko. "Hello, ladies. I'm the green beast to Konoho!"
"Anko," Kurenai says, "has it been your time of the month?"
"You bet!" Anko yells with an strict face full of tension, "I hate men. When was the last time you've shaved your legs?"
"The last time you stopped being a ball of bitch that you are."
Gai walks away and Anko and Kurenai high five eachother.
End of clip:
"Oh," Dr. Katz said, "that's how it works."
"Are you going to eat that?" Choji pointed his fat hand wrapped in bandaids at Laura's desk.
"That's a stampler." Laura said.
"Agrafeuse is french for stample. Doesn't it sound more edible?" Choji asked. "I don't know if there is a word that cannot be translated into french and not sound tasteful."
The intercomp sounded. "Is my next patient ready?"
"I'll send him right in." Laura said
Choji grapped his bag of chips and started to munch on them. Dr. Katz stared at the chips and licked his lips. "What flavour is that?"
"Ketchup." Choji stated.
"Uh-huh," Dr. Katz said, "not a populaur flavour, but good never-the-less."
Choji didn't respond, but from his actions of chowing down on the bag, it was clear that he agreed.
"I had actually," Dr. Katz started off slowly, "actually, have stopped eatting foods like potato chips."
Choji reached into his bag, and rotated his hand in the buttom of the bag, but it was gone. So was Dr. Katz who fell asleep in his chair. Choji searched his fanny pack but couldn't find any more treated until Dr. Katz's fish bowl caught his attention. "Hmmm..." Choji smacked his lips together. "Fish!"
At a corner store of Konoka, Ben entered the parlor and sat down. Next to him was a copy of Cum, Cum Paradise, but because they were no pictures, he folded the book back up and put it next to him. At the counter, Ashinami Raidou showed up. He had a nice smile, but what distracted most people was the flap of skin over his cheek. "Welcome to Raidou's Scars." He said. He lifted up a book and opened it up. "You should look at what we can offer you."
Ben flipped through the pages. "How did you get that scar?"
"You have to cut the cheek and pull down on the skin so that it can be folded." Raidou said. "Then we take a coal heated rod and press it against the face to produce the scar tissue."
"Anything else close to the pain of dying?" Ben asked.
"We have the cross the eye scar." He said. "It seems like it would hurt a lot, but it is mostly harmless, but bad ass in most ways."
Iruka entered the parlor, and waved his hand at Raidou. "Hey, scar face."
"Hey," He replied.
"You're scar face?" Ben asked.
"Sure," Raidou said.
"I wantta be scar face."
"It's the rules," Iruka stated, "there can only be one scarface."
"Hey, wake up," Kurenai told Dr. Katz.
Dr. Katz startled, and readied his pencil and pad. "You've been recently promoted, what was that like?"
"I have climbed another step up the ladder." Kurenai said. "It's not that great, now I have experienced people complaining to me. People don't stop complaining."
"That's not true," Dr. Katz said, "they usually run out of money."
"That's easy for you to say." Kurenai said. "I'm a teacher, and I love my students, but can't love involve killing them for all of the stupid things they do?"
"I would predict that you want me to say yes."
"Exactly, and no matter what, there is always one devil in my class. I hadn't thought about it when I was teaching a group of students, but now that the numbers are gone, I can see that there has to be one student who ruins everything." Kurenai said. "Kiba, he asked me if I was married."
"What did you do?" Dr. Katz asked.
"I don't know about other women being asked this question, but doesn't it make you feel that you need to explain something else that is good about you. No, I'm not married, but I was recently promoted."
The end music started playing. "You know what that means?"
"It's not some music you play after you score is it?"
"I think that the cd would be ruined by now, if that was the case," Dr. Katz joked.
"If only you had shaved." Kurenai got up and walked away.
"Damn." He said.
Dr. Katz rested on the couch as Ben entered the living room and sat on Dr. Katz's legs. Dr. Katz got up. "How was your day, Ben?"
"Call me Sir." Ben said. "I finally got my nickname. Sir."
"How did you get that?" Dr. Katz asked.
"That's what the bus driver called me." Ben said.
"What happened to Scarface?"
"Someone else already had that name." Ben told him.
"Well, we all get our nicknames sometime or another."
"What's your nickname?"
"Chromedome."
Next Patients: Tenten, Rock Lee, and Hyuuga Neji
Guest Appearance: Tsunade
Chapter Six: Sugar
By: Cornel Kennedy
Knocking on the door to the washroom, Dr. Katz pulled back a yellow sleeve and looked at his watch. His eyes glared at the face of his watch and his foot tapped the ground. His hand rubbed his face that was covered in stumble. He knocked again. "Ben, I have to shave before I go to work."
Ben stared at himself in the mirror over the skin with a hand on his chin, and with more knocking, Ben looked over his shoulder and scowled. "Just five more minutes."
"You said you were going to be five minutes in the washroom when we were in the living room." Dr. Katz stated. "That was five minutes ago."
"Well, I don't travel at the speed of light," Ben said, "I wasn't in the washroom in an instant. The shortest distance between two points is a line, so why don't you stop getting out of line with me and get to your point? Why do you need the washroom?"
"I need to shave before going to work, Ben." Dr. Katz said.
"Did you install some face recognization device on your car and can't start the car without a clean shave?" Ben asked. "You looked fine to me when I left for the washroom."
"Ben, this may come to a surprise, but there is a different set of standards in the outside."
"In the outside," Ben chuckled, "what about these standards?"
"Well outside, we don't go around killing people because other people wouldn't find it fair. However, I don't think anyone there would object if I came in there and drowned you in the toilet." Dr. Katz jested. "Really Ben, are you having a problem you would like to speak about?"
"No, you can't turn off that doctor mode." Ben said turned his head to see the two sides of his face.
"I used a preposition to end a sentence, Ben. I am not here to help you; I'm here for you." Dr. Katz told his son. "Is there anything missing from you, Ben."
"Ben, uh?" he sighed. "Why don't you call me anything else?"
"Stay in the washroom another minute, and I have a few names for you." Dr. Katz joked. "Do you want to change your name?"
"Nah, Ben is a great name. What I want," he rolled his eyes up, "this is discomforting. I don't know the rules for this sort of thing."
"Can we talk face to face?" Dr. Katz wondered.
"Can you ask to have a nickname, or does it just come to you?"
"I think you'll have to go outside for a nickname. I had got my nickname at work." Dr. Katz said.
"What's your nickname from work."
"It wasn't my current work." Dr. Katz explained. He recollected it and put his hand on his bald head. "I rather not say."
"It has something to do with your hair," Ben laughed. "I think that what's missing in my life is a nickname."
"Meet some people, and it will occur naturally." Dr. Katz suggested. "Got any preference. I may be able to tell you what crowd to go to."
"Scarface," Ben grinned at the mirror.
"You do realize that you're going to have to have a scar on your face to be called that." Dr. Katz mentioned.
"You don't say."
Laura looked up from her desk and saw Dr. Katz with a dirty beard. "What with that..."
Dr. Katz interrupted her, "don't want to hear about it."
"Your first patient is waiting for you in the office. She came by with her boyfriend." Laura announced.
"She can wait," Dr. Katz said, "what do you believe about reducing the sugar in my diet?"
"What answer will stop this conversation soonest?" She asked.
"That it would be bad choice for me." Dr. Katz told her.
"I say go through with it." Laura said.
"Damn, how did you know it was a trap?" Dr. Katz asked.
"I didn't, but I can't avoid influencing you to make the wrong decision." Laura stated.
Kurenai sat on the new couch, and adjusted her white toga that was over a red sweater with one long sleeve. Dr. Katz told his seat and put his hands together. "How is your relationship going?"
"What relationship?" Kurenai asked and crossed her arms.
"With you boyfriend who dropped you off." Dr. Katz answered.
"Boyfriend?!" Kurenai said.
"Husband?"
"Husband?!"
"Love slave?"
"Hmm..." Kurenai pictured herself in leather and a whip with Asume tied to a chair. "Love slave?!"
"Aren't you a couple?"
"Couple?!" Kurenai outbursted. "I am so tried of people thinking that because a woman is near a man that she is in some romantic relationship with him. I was in line for the movies."
Clip:
(Kurenai performing all voices)
Kurenai is next in line for movie tickets and Shino is a head of her.
"And how about that lady standing five feet away from you?" The lady at the cash register says. "Aren't you going out with her?"
Kakashi who is standing behind then says: "Wait, I thought I was the one who was suppose to be thought to be going out with her."
End of clip:
"I let the boy in front of me pay, of course," Kurenai said. "That is why women have to stick in pairs. Don't go anywhere my yourself. Either you're with a friend who happens to be a male, don't even suspect that he's going to be your viewed as your friend. You have to be with another woman. That is how we are able to avoid confrontations with guys we don't like at the bar."
Clip:
Kurenai is hanging out with Anko at a bar.
Gai nods at Kakashi and gives him the nice guy pose before heading over to Kurenai and Anko. "Hello, ladies. I'm the green beast to Konoho!"
"Anko," Kurenai says, "has it been your time of the month?"
"You bet!" Anko yells with an strict face full of tension, "I hate men. When was the last time you've shaved your legs?"
"The last time you stopped being a ball of bitch that you are."
Gai walks away and Anko and Kurenai high five eachother.
End of clip:
"Oh," Dr. Katz said, "that's how it works."
"Are you going to eat that?" Choji pointed his fat hand wrapped in bandaids at Laura's desk.
"That's a stampler." Laura said.
"Agrafeuse is french for stample. Doesn't it sound more edible?" Choji asked. "I don't know if there is a word that cannot be translated into french and not sound tasteful."
The intercomp sounded. "Is my next patient ready?"
"I'll send him right in." Laura said
Choji grapped his bag of chips and started to munch on them. Dr. Katz stared at the chips and licked his lips. "What flavour is that?"
"Ketchup." Choji stated.
"Uh-huh," Dr. Katz said, "not a populaur flavour, but good never-the-less."
Choji didn't respond, but from his actions of chowing down on the bag, it was clear that he agreed.
"I had actually," Dr. Katz started off slowly, "actually, have stopped eatting foods like potato chips."
Choji reached into his bag, and rotated his hand in the buttom of the bag, but it was gone. So was Dr. Katz who fell asleep in his chair. Choji searched his fanny pack but couldn't find any more treated until Dr. Katz's fish bowl caught his attention. "Hmmm..." Choji smacked his lips together. "Fish!"
At a corner store of Konoka, Ben entered the parlor and sat down. Next to him was a copy of Cum, Cum Paradise, but because they were no pictures, he folded the book back up and put it next to him. At the counter, Ashinami Raidou showed up. He had a nice smile, but what distracted most people was the flap of skin over his cheek. "Welcome to Raidou's Scars." He said. He lifted up a book and opened it up. "You should look at what we can offer you."
Ben flipped through the pages. "How did you get that scar?"
"You have to cut the cheek and pull down on the skin so that it can be folded." Raidou said. "Then we take a coal heated rod and press it against the face to produce the scar tissue."
"Anything else close to the pain of dying?" Ben asked.
"We have the cross the eye scar." He said. "It seems like it would hurt a lot, but it is mostly harmless, but bad ass in most ways."
Iruka entered the parlor, and waved his hand at Raidou. "Hey, scar face."
"Hey," He replied.
"You're scar face?" Ben asked.
"Sure," Raidou said.
"I wantta be scar face."
"It's the rules," Iruka stated, "there can only be one scarface."
"Hey, wake up," Kurenai told Dr. Katz.
Dr. Katz startled, and readied his pencil and pad. "You've been recently promoted, what was that like?"
"I have climbed another step up the ladder." Kurenai said. "It's not that great, now I have experienced people complaining to me. People don't stop complaining."
"That's not true," Dr. Katz said, "they usually run out of money."
"That's easy for you to say." Kurenai said. "I'm a teacher, and I love my students, but can't love involve killing them for all of the stupid things they do?"
"I would predict that you want me to say yes."
"Exactly, and no matter what, there is always one devil in my class. I hadn't thought about it when I was teaching a group of students, but now that the numbers are gone, I can see that there has to be one student who ruins everything." Kurenai said. "Kiba, he asked me if I was married."
"What did you do?" Dr. Katz asked.
"I don't know about other women being asked this question, but doesn't it make you feel that you need to explain something else that is good about you. No, I'm not married, but I was recently promoted."
The end music started playing. "You know what that means?"
"It's not some music you play after you score is it?"
"I think that the cd would be ruined by now, if that was the case," Dr. Katz joked.
"If only you had shaved." Kurenai got up and walked away.
"Damn." He said.
Dr. Katz rested on the couch as Ben entered the living room and sat on Dr. Katz's legs. Dr. Katz got up. "How was your day, Ben?"
"Call me Sir." Ben said. "I finally got my nickname. Sir."
"How did you get that?" Dr. Katz asked.
"That's what the bus driver called me." Ben said.
"What happened to Scarface?"
"Someone else already had that name." Ben told him.
"Well, we all get our nicknames sometime or another."
"What's your nickname?"
"Chromedome."
Next Patients: Tenten, Rock Lee, and Hyuuga Neji
Guest Appearance: Tsunade