Sorry for delay. I was really lazy.
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Watching
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Hiei's POV
I had among the thick canopy of the tree, my back towards the sun setting upon the deteriorating world, silently observing the occupant of the room I was facing. He had been sitting and staring at a piece of paper for almost half an hour, and he did not ever move. Neither did I. Finally, he walked over to the window directly facing me, and I covered up my youki even harder.
The sun cast a layer of glass around the lush green leaves that shielded me, making gold bounce off each waxy surface. They seemed so full, that I was utterly incompatible standing within them. They were too much like you, like your eyes. But now, instead of making them fuller, making them glow, the sun rather took away some of the brilliance from those emerald irises, leaving them vacant. Why was that so? Was it really the sun's fault?
I yearn for the answers, but had not the courage to ask. I could only hide in the shadows, melt into darkness, where I belonged, watching as you sparkle under the spotlight. You were too bright for me to touch.
I was born in the cold, gifted, no, cursed with the ability to understand everything around me since I laid my eyes upon the world. I was too weak. All I could do was watch, as people who I did not even know discuss how my life was going to be, how to dispose of me so that I would not dirty their land.
Their cold-blooded words burned hatred in me, and I watched as the vengeance danced in the chilly air, along with the orange rays of the fire, casting monstrous shapes and shadows on the wall, in my heart. I wanted to scream at them, telling them that it was not me who decided how I was born, and yet, I could only watch, my voice suppressed against my will.
The day came, but my anger at the unjust was long extinguished, leaving behind cold ashes and inerasable scars. I had gotten used to the suppression that I knew to fight it would only bring more pain, thus I became part of it. I did not even know what sadness was, as all emotions had all been put out. I did not know what loneliness meant, as I had never know what having a company felt like, thus having nothing to compare to. Once again, I watched, as everything became a swirl of colours.
I began learning, not through touch, because I was rendered too dirty to do so. Not through hearing, because the words ere too filthy and useless, a disgrace for me to even speak them. I watched, observing every move of everyone in the gang of thieves, who only tough of me as one of them when I had treasure to give. Soon their every turn of mind was crystal clear to me.
I fought, and watched as the blade cut through my necklace, watched as my mother's tear gem fell into the ravine and carried away form my sight by the swift current. I won that battle.
My eyes were not enough anymore, as I started searching for the two items most important to me. I did all I could and got the jagan, my third eye. I could, but never wanted, to look into others' minds. The world alone was ugly enough.
I found Yukina, but for her sake, I told her nothing. Just like what all the people who talked about me said, I was unworthy, and the greatest misfortune for others would be to touch me. We were destined to be in different worlds.
I watched as others made her cry, but could not save her with her knowing. I watched as others make her laugh, but I was never part of it. I talk to her like a stranger, and hid even further when she wanted to find "her brother". I did not want to shatter her dreams, thus I madder her sad. I am sorry, but she should understand.
All my life I had been watching. Although I was no longer the helpless kid anymore, bound by physical disabilities, now I was bound by my conscience, unable to totally be myself; bound by love, unable to go according to my wishes in fear of hearting them. Yes, them. Yukina was no longer the only importance in my life. That was the weakness I could never change.
If only I had no feelings, if only I could sense no pain, if only I was nothing at all . . .
The moon walked in right after the sun had set, as if she was avoiding the sun, but in truth, she was revolving around him, reflecting his rays, without the sun, the moon was nothing but an empty sphere. Every time the sun's warm rays engulfed me, a new wound was added in my heart, because I know he was shining to everyone the same way.
A gust of wind blew by and your silky crimson hair swirled around your face. Leaning out of the window, you took a deep breath and stared at the position where I was. Your green eyes reflected a mixture of hope, despair and utmost forlornness that matched mine. I had thought that those expressions were foreign to you. You chucked, as if scoring yourself for having such feelings, and attempted to erase them, but you failed. Instead, a new surge of longing was added. What made you so?
I watched just like other times, yet something was wrong, or different. I could do nothing in the past instances, but now I had a choice, and it would bring no harm. A simple question about the emotions I saw in him, and what brought it. So why was I hesitating? Why was I not asking? Why was I still watching? I know I lacked the courage, but why?
I was afraid, afraid of getting hurt again, which you could, easily do with even a word. I was always too proud to admit that someone was stronger than me, but in this case, I clearly understood you were too perfect for me. I wasn't fit to even wish for your acceptance. Yet life had to go on, and I could not stay watching forever, or else you would slip away, my chance would slip away, and I t would be my fault. I hate his unsettled feeling. I hat to regret even more.
You turned away, leaving the window open. I knew it was for me. A gentle smile now played on your lips, the desire and longing intensified in your eyes, but never enough to cover the sadness. Despite that, you still seemed warm.
A sudden clod current swept through the land, sending a chill through me. How I wanted to reach out to share your warmth. It was too cold, all these year, they had all been too cold. I could care about my fear and worries no more, all I wanted to feel was the warmth I never knew. Even if I got hurt, it would be worth it. I leaped and landed on the windowsill.
It was time to move on. I had already spent too much time on it.
Watching.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Watching
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hiei's POV
I had among the thick canopy of the tree, my back towards the sun setting upon the deteriorating world, silently observing the occupant of the room I was facing. He had been sitting and staring at a piece of paper for almost half an hour, and he did not ever move. Neither did I. Finally, he walked over to the window directly facing me, and I covered up my youki even harder.
The sun cast a layer of glass around the lush green leaves that shielded me, making gold bounce off each waxy surface. They seemed so full, that I was utterly incompatible standing within them. They were too much like you, like your eyes. But now, instead of making them fuller, making them glow, the sun rather took away some of the brilliance from those emerald irises, leaving them vacant. Why was that so? Was it really the sun's fault?
I yearn for the answers, but had not the courage to ask. I could only hide in the shadows, melt into darkness, where I belonged, watching as you sparkle under the spotlight. You were too bright for me to touch.
I was born in the cold, gifted, no, cursed with the ability to understand everything around me since I laid my eyes upon the world. I was too weak. All I could do was watch, as people who I did not even know discuss how my life was going to be, how to dispose of me so that I would not dirty their land.
Their cold-blooded words burned hatred in me, and I watched as the vengeance danced in the chilly air, along with the orange rays of the fire, casting monstrous shapes and shadows on the wall, in my heart. I wanted to scream at them, telling them that it was not me who decided how I was born, and yet, I could only watch, my voice suppressed against my will.
The day came, but my anger at the unjust was long extinguished, leaving behind cold ashes and inerasable scars. I had gotten used to the suppression that I knew to fight it would only bring more pain, thus I became part of it. I did not even know what sadness was, as all emotions had all been put out. I did not know what loneliness meant, as I had never know what having a company felt like, thus having nothing to compare to. Once again, I watched, as everything became a swirl of colours.
I began learning, not through touch, because I was rendered too dirty to do so. Not through hearing, because the words ere too filthy and useless, a disgrace for me to even speak them. I watched, observing every move of everyone in the gang of thieves, who only tough of me as one of them when I had treasure to give. Soon their every turn of mind was crystal clear to me.
I fought, and watched as the blade cut through my necklace, watched as my mother's tear gem fell into the ravine and carried away form my sight by the swift current. I won that battle.
My eyes were not enough anymore, as I started searching for the two items most important to me. I did all I could and got the jagan, my third eye. I could, but never wanted, to look into others' minds. The world alone was ugly enough.
I found Yukina, but for her sake, I told her nothing. Just like what all the people who talked about me said, I was unworthy, and the greatest misfortune for others would be to touch me. We were destined to be in different worlds.
I watched as others made her cry, but could not save her with her knowing. I watched as others make her laugh, but I was never part of it. I talk to her like a stranger, and hid even further when she wanted to find "her brother". I did not want to shatter her dreams, thus I madder her sad. I am sorry, but she should understand.
All my life I had been watching. Although I was no longer the helpless kid anymore, bound by physical disabilities, now I was bound by my conscience, unable to totally be myself; bound by love, unable to go according to my wishes in fear of hearting them. Yes, them. Yukina was no longer the only importance in my life. That was the weakness I could never change.
If only I had no feelings, if only I could sense no pain, if only I was nothing at all . . .
The moon walked in right after the sun had set, as if she was avoiding the sun, but in truth, she was revolving around him, reflecting his rays, without the sun, the moon was nothing but an empty sphere. Every time the sun's warm rays engulfed me, a new wound was added in my heart, because I know he was shining to everyone the same way.
A gust of wind blew by and your silky crimson hair swirled around your face. Leaning out of the window, you took a deep breath and stared at the position where I was. Your green eyes reflected a mixture of hope, despair and utmost forlornness that matched mine. I had thought that those expressions were foreign to you. You chucked, as if scoring yourself for having such feelings, and attempted to erase them, but you failed. Instead, a new surge of longing was added. What made you so?
I watched just like other times, yet something was wrong, or different. I could do nothing in the past instances, but now I had a choice, and it would bring no harm. A simple question about the emotions I saw in him, and what brought it. So why was I hesitating? Why was I not asking? Why was I still watching? I know I lacked the courage, but why?
I was afraid, afraid of getting hurt again, which you could, easily do with even a word. I was always too proud to admit that someone was stronger than me, but in this case, I clearly understood you were too perfect for me. I wasn't fit to even wish for your acceptance. Yet life had to go on, and I could not stay watching forever, or else you would slip away, my chance would slip away, and I t would be my fault. I hate his unsettled feeling. I hat to regret even more.
You turned away, leaving the window open. I knew it was for me. A gentle smile now played on your lips, the desire and longing intensified in your eyes, but never enough to cover the sadness. Despite that, you still seemed warm.
A sudden clod current swept through the land, sending a chill through me. How I wanted to reach out to share your warmth. It was too cold, all these year, they had all been too cold. I could care about my fear and worries no more, all I wanted to feel was the warmth I never knew. Even if I got hurt, it would be worth it. I leaped and landed on the windowsill.
It was time to move on. I had already spent too much time on it.
Watching.