Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist to Ninjas
Chapter Seven: Milk
Dr. Katz holding a newspaper between his ribs and arm and in the other hand held a cup of coffee, pulled up a chair on the dinning table across from Ben. The arranged what he was carrying around a plate of pancakes. "You know dado," Ben started, "I never wanted to follow in your footsteps."
"I'm glad to hear that," Dr. Katz said, "It's nice to hear you wouldn't introduce what I had into this world."
"That was some pot shot at me, what's it?"
"I didn't want it to interrupt the conversation," Dr. Katz announced, "I thought it was a remark that would sink in after I had left for work."
"Dad," Ben said, "I got all my evil from you."
"That's not true," Dr. Katz corrected, "I still got my evil."
Ben chuckled. "Sure," he sipped his tea, "but what I meant is that I had filled in for one of your clients, and I actually enjoyed hearing what this dude had to say."
"I sort of figured that you had done that," Dr. Katz said.
"You should do some house calls," Ben said, "Iruka will hook you up with the ride."
"It would be nice to go to one of my patient's house." Dr. Katz said. "I did miss one of her appointments. Can you call Laura and tell her to call Tenten and tell her that I wouldn't be in today? I'm going to surprise her at her house. Have a good day, Ben."
Dr. Katz picked up his coat from the chair and put on his hat. "Yeah, got you."
"What did I tell you to do?" Dr. Katz probed.
"To have a good day," Ben said piling up another bowl empty bowl to his side, "yeah, yeah, I'm right on it."
"I told you," he stopped and look at the mess Ben was making, "why don't you refill your bowl instead of using another bowl?"
"The cereal is too logged with milk when I get to the bottom, I need a new bowl," Ben argued.
"Whatever," Dr. Katz said, "have a good day."
"You don't have to remind me," he said as his father left the appartment. He poured the milk once again and emptied the bag. The line of milk was not visible. "Oh no. I need some more milk!"
He bolted to the refridgator but it had no milk as well. "The whole bowl will be wasted. This is bad, very bad."
"Thank you, Iruka," Dr. Katz said into his cellphone outside his appartment building, "and when should I expect..."
Iruka emerged from a cloud of smoke. "I'll take you to Konoho right away."
"How.. how did you do that?" Dr. Katz asked.
"I'm a ninja." Iruka told him. He closed his eyes to slits, pulled his hands behind his hips, and took a closer look at Dr. Katz. "You aren't Dr. Katz."
"It was a ninja.." he started and shrugged his shoulders, "thing?."
"Of course," Iruka smacked his palm to his forehead protector. Soon he had his hand on Dr. Katz's shoulder. "Get ready."
They appeared in the office of the fifth hokage, which was no different from the previous hokages. A blonde bombshell, the current hokage, Tsunade sat behind a desk riddled with scrolls. Iruka made his way out so Dr. Katz took a seat. "Welcome to Konoho," she began, "we haven't had a chance to meet when you made your first trip here. There are some rules if you want to be in this universe."
She held up her index finger: "First, you can't be a fanfiction writer."
Dr. Katz pulled his hand upto his mouth and patted his lips, "oh, sorry. Was a drooling?"
She smirked and raised her middle finger: "Secondly, you can't be a fanfiction writer."
"Is that it?" Dr. Katz asked.
"That is it for the rules." Tsunade said. "But you must be wondering why I have sent my people to see you?"
"I don't see why I should as the checks aren't bouncing." Dr. Katz said.
"Being a shinobi is a physically draining task and it is equally a mentally damaging one as well. As a person who has taken care of the ill and injured, I have the welfare of others on my mind. The problem is that I cannot cure the mentally disturbed." She banged her hand on the table and shook her head in shame. "I just can't. Not like you have for your patients."
Dr. Katz's eyes searched up for reflection.
Clip:
Dr. Katz is in his office and a patient is smiling.
"I think I had a breakthrough. I think I can move on with my life." The patient says.
Dr. Katz wakes up from the outburst and looks at his notepad with a stick figure holding up two bags of money. "Really?"
"Yes, thank you." He responds.
"The session is over, so I think we should give your recovery one more coat of wax." Dr. Katz said. "We haven't talked about this. How was your childhood."
The patient's smile turns into a frown.
End Clip:
"You can bet on it." Dr. Katz said.
"I better not," Tsunade said, "I'll take your word for it."
The phone rung at her desk and she picked it up to put her hand over the receiver. "It's only the most important calls that come here. You know."
Once again Dr. Katz's eyes went up to the ceiling in reflection.
Clip:
Dr. Katz is at his office receiving calls from Ben as different patients glare at him.
"Hey, Ben. No, I didn't know she that close in degrees to Kevin Bacon."
"What's up, Ben. I think your wrong in thinking if the spin of the toilet was reversed that it would push things out of it.
"Oh, you've forwarded a telemarketer to me."
End Clip.
"This is an crisis. A class H mission. Only the Hokage can do this." Tsunade ran to the door. "Sorry, I hope you enjoy your stay."
TenTen pulled a hand from behind her back and tapped on the stampler like a bell. "Ring, ring."
Laura with her hand in her red hair looked up at TenTen who smiled. "Is Dr. Katz in? I'm TenTen."
"Last name?"
"The Hokage didn't know so she set up my name as just TenTen." She then put her hands on the desk and lead forward. "But, if you really want to know..."
"No, I don't." Laura put it mildly. "Dr. Katz hasn't come in today. I think he skipped work. I should fit you in for another date."
"No!" TenTen squealed. "I demand a session now."
"I don't know what to do," Laura said. "I see people come in here all happy and full of life and when they leave they have lost all hope. I think that all Dr. Katz does is remind them of all their problems... sure, I'll play with you."
"Ah," Tenten swooned, "a playdate. A friend."
"You're really needy and desparate." Laura said.
"I like playing therapy with you, friend," TenTen stated, "what should I do to stop being that way?"
"Don't take crap from people." Laura blurted.
"You mean, I don't have to?" TenTen asked.
"Of course not. I bet there is a girl under there who is strong willed and ready to take action." Laura brushed some hair out of her face. "You know, you remind me of me when I was your age."
"So your the dead end I will come to if I don't change," Tenten held her chin.
"Hey," Laura said. TenTen widened her stance and pulled out a peace sign to Laura and held one hand behind her. She smiled and winked her eye to complete the sweet girl pose.
"I'm just kidding," TenTen said, "you're amazing, Laura."
"Thanks kid."
Ben was in the living room watching television and continually rotating the cereal in the bowl when there was a knock on the door. Under his arms was his favourite stuffed animal, Bully, a lanky red devil. "It's open."
The door swung open and crashed off its hinges.
"Idiot!" Tsunade shouted and walked into the appartment carrying a bag of milk. "Next time, get your own damn milk."
Ben ran in to meet her and scowled. "I sure will with your crappy service." Ben held up the bag of milk. "I don't have a holder for this. I need carton of milk."
"I'm taking this," she swiped Bully away from Ben. She vanished then.
"Bully?" Ben said. He ran his hands through his black hair. "I am not having the good day that my dad asked me to."
Dr. Katz was in TenTen's room. "Don't you think you should know if TenTen is here or not?"
He didn't get a response. Walking to a chair, he see that TenTen's closet is ajar and two bright white eyes are piercing out of them. Bounding over there, he opened the closet to see Neji tied up and gagged. Neji coughed as the gag is removed. "Lee is under her bed."
He helped Neji out to put him on the bed and searched under the bed to roll Lee out from underneath. "Are both of you alright?"
"TenTen has done this before so she could be the first to see the Hokage as a ninja." Neji said. "She's gotten better at it, but I wished that Gai would have saved us sooner."
"This is a dramatic experience." Dr. Katz said. "I suggest that we have a group session."
"You mean a couple's session. There's only two of us." Lee pointed out.
"Don't call it that." Neji said. "I am in."
"Then so am I!" Lee burned with flames in his eyes. "I will go to therapy eight hours a day and show people that hard work can beat genius."
"But you already work out 18 hours a day. There isn't enough time in the day for what you are suggesting." Neji pointed out more logically then whenever Lee pointed something out.
"Don't boss around my biological clock." Lee stated. "I can work hard and gain more than 24 hours in a day."
"You know," Dr. Katz said, "some people call that tomorrow."
"Why can't we hear it today?" Lee asked.
Dr. Katz and Neji were perplexed with that question and went on from there. "Neji, what do you dislike?"
"Usually, I like to throw that question to the side." Neji said. Lee who was on Neji's side patted his back and gave him a nice guy pose.
"Good for you," Lee said.
"I don't like quiters. I like to stand near Sasuke." Neji said.
Clip: (Neji providing the voices)
Neji is leaning against a wooden fense and watching Sakura talk to Sasuke.
"Do you want to do something?" Sakura asks.
"No," Sasuke replies, "You're annoying."
Sakura hangs her head up giving up on Sasuke and sees Neji shaking his head. "And I thought it was about true love."
End Clip:
"Of course, the whole situation reminds me of Charlie Brown and Lucy playing football." Neji snickered. "Winners never quit, and quiters never win, but people who never win and never win are stupid."
"Do do-do, do-do," Dr. Katz sung, "you know what that music means."
"That you should stick being a therapist," Lee quipped.
Hanging up his hat and coat, Dr. Katz saw his son at the table hugging a bag of milk. "What's wrong, Ben? We don't have a container for bags of milk."
"Bully is gone, my cereal went soggy, and I couldn't fix the door so I taped it up," the door peeled off the frame. "The worst day in my life."
"Did you remember to call Laura so she could call TenTen?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Who the hell is TenTen," Ben said, "I never that name before."
"Yeah, I didn't remember talking about her either." Dr. Katz said. "So what happened to Bully?"
"The Hokage stole it," he told him.
"Why did she steal it?"
"I ordered her to go on the mission to buy me some milk," Ben said.
"Did she remind you of anyone?" Dr. Katz asked pulling up a seat. "A show you used to watch?"
"One large globe of bitch," Ben pouted.
"You know, big mouth, violent, slightly plumb, blonde hair, pushy?"
"Miss Piggy!" Ben laughed.
"But let's not tell her when we go apologize for wasting her time." Dr. Katz said.
Next Patients: Hinata, Ino, Kiba
Special guest: Orochimaru
Chapter Seven: Milk
Dr. Katz holding a newspaper between his ribs and arm and in the other hand held a cup of coffee, pulled up a chair on the dinning table across from Ben. The arranged what he was carrying around a plate of pancakes. "You know dado," Ben started, "I never wanted to follow in your footsteps."
"I'm glad to hear that," Dr. Katz said, "It's nice to hear you wouldn't introduce what I had into this world."
"That was some pot shot at me, what's it?"
"I didn't want it to interrupt the conversation," Dr. Katz announced, "I thought it was a remark that would sink in after I had left for work."
"Dad," Ben said, "I got all my evil from you."
"That's not true," Dr. Katz corrected, "I still got my evil."
Ben chuckled. "Sure," he sipped his tea, "but what I meant is that I had filled in for one of your clients, and I actually enjoyed hearing what this dude had to say."
"I sort of figured that you had done that," Dr. Katz said.
"You should do some house calls," Ben said, "Iruka will hook you up with the ride."
"It would be nice to go to one of my patient's house." Dr. Katz said. "I did miss one of her appointments. Can you call Laura and tell her to call Tenten and tell her that I wouldn't be in today? I'm going to surprise her at her house. Have a good day, Ben."
Dr. Katz picked up his coat from the chair and put on his hat. "Yeah, got you."
"What did I tell you to do?" Dr. Katz probed.
"To have a good day," Ben said piling up another bowl empty bowl to his side, "yeah, yeah, I'm right on it."
"I told you," he stopped and look at the mess Ben was making, "why don't you refill your bowl instead of using another bowl?"
"The cereal is too logged with milk when I get to the bottom, I need a new bowl," Ben argued.
"Whatever," Dr. Katz said, "have a good day."
"You don't have to remind me," he said as his father left the appartment. He poured the milk once again and emptied the bag. The line of milk was not visible. "Oh no. I need some more milk!"
He bolted to the refridgator but it had no milk as well. "The whole bowl will be wasted. This is bad, very bad."
"Thank you, Iruka," Dr. Katz said into his cellphone outside his appartment building, "and when should I expect..."
Iruka emerged from a cloud of smoke. "I'll take you to Konoho right away."
"How.. how did you do that?" Dr. Katz asked.
"I'm a ninja." Iruka told him. He closed his eyes to slits, pulled his hands behind his hips, and took a closer look at Dr. Katz. "You aren't Dr. Katz."
"It was a ninja.." he started and shrugged his shoulders, "thing?."
"Of course," Iruka smacked his palm to his forehead protector. Soon he had his hand on Dr. Katz's shoulder. "Get ready."
They appeared in the office of the fifth hokage, which was no different from the previous hokages. A blonde bombshell, the current hokage, Tsunade sat behind a desk riddled with scrolls. Iruka made his way out so Dr. Katz took a seat. "Welcome to Konoho," she began, "we haven't had a chance to meet when you made your first trip here. There are some rules if you want to be in this universe."
She held up her index finger: "First, you can't be a fanfiction writer."
Dr. Katz pulled his hand upto his mouth and patted his lips, "oh, sorry. Was a drooling?"
She smirked and raised her middle finger: "Secondly, you can't be a fanfiction writer."
"Is that it?" Dr. Katz asked.
"That is it for the rules." Tsunade said. "But you must be wondering why I have sent my people to see you?"
"I don't see why I should as the checks aren't bouncing." Dr. Katz said.
"Being a shinobi is a physically draining task and it is equally a mentally damaging one as well. As a person who has taken care of the ill and injured, I have the welfare of others on my mind. The problem is that I cannot cure the mentally disturbed." She banged her hand on the table and shook her head in shame. "I just can't. Not like you have for your patients."
Dr. Katz's eyes searched up for reflection.
Clip:
Dr. Katz is in his office and a patient is smiling.
"I think I had a breakthrough. I think I can move on with my life." The patient says.
Dr. Katz wakes up from the outburst and looks at his notepad with a stick figure holding up two bags of money. "Really?"
"Yes, thank you." He responds.
"The session is over, so I think we should give your recovery one more coat of wax." Dr. Katz said. "We haven't talked about this. How was your childhood."
The patient's smile turns into a frown.
End Clip:
"You can bet on it." Dr. Katz said.
"I better not," Tsunade said, "I'll take your word for it."
The phone rung at her desk and she picked it up to put her hand over the receiver. "It's only the most important calls that come here. You know."
Once again Dr. Katz's eyes went up to the ceiling in reflection.
Clip:
Dr. Katz is at his office receiving calls from Ben as different patients glare at him.
"Hey, Ben. No, I didn't know she that close in degrees to Kevin Bacon."
"What's up, Ben. I think your wrong in thinking if the spin of the toilet was reversed that it would push things out of it.
"Oh, you've forwarded a telemarketer to me."
End Clip.
"This is an crisis. A class H mission. Only the Hokage can do this." Tsunade ran to the door. "Sorry, I hope you enjoy your stay."
TenTen pulled a hand from behind her back and tapped on the stampler like a bell. "Ring, ring."
Laura with her hand in her red hair looked up at TenTen who smiled. "Is Dr. Katz in? I'm TenTen."
"Last name?"
"The Hokage didn't know so she set up my name as just TenTen." She then put her hands on the desk and lead forward. "But, if you really want to know..."
"No, I don't." Laura put it mildly. "Dr. Katz hasn't come in today. I think he skipped work. I should fit you in for another date."
"No!" TenTen squealed. "I demand a session now."
"I don't know what to do," Laura said. "I see people come in here all happy and full of life and when they leave they have lost all hope. I think that all Dr. Katz does is remind them of all their problems... sure, I'll play with you."
"Ah," Tenten swooned, "a playdate. A friend."
"You're really needy and desparate." Laura said.
"I like playing therapy with you, friend," TenTen stated, "what should I do to stop being that way?"
"Don't take crap from people." Laura blurted.
"You mean, I don't have to?" TenTen asked.
"Of course not. I bet there is a girl under there who is strong willed and ready to take action." Laura brushed some hair out of her face. "You know, you remind me of me when I was your age."
"So your the dead end I will come to if I don't change," Tenten held her chin.
"Hey," Laura said. TenTen widened her stance and pulled out a peace sign to Laura and held one hand behind her. She smiled and winked her eye to complete the sweet girl pose.
"I'm just kidding," TenTen said, "you're amazing, Laura."
"Thanks kid."
Ben was in the living room watching television and continually rotating the cereal in the bowl when there was a knock on the door. Under his arms was his favourite stuffed animal, Bully, a lanky red devil. "It's open."
The door swung open and crashed off its hinges.
"Idiot!" Tsunade shouted and walked into the appartment carrying a bag of milk. "Next time, get your own damn milk."
Ben ran in to meet her and scowled. "I sure will with your crappy service." Ben held up the bag of milk. "I don't have a holder for this. I need carton of milk."
"I'm taking this," she swiped Bully away from Ben. She vanished then.
"Bully?" Ben said. He ran his hands through his black hair. "I am not having the good day that my dad asked me to."
Dr. Katz was in TenTen's room. "Don't you think you should know if TenTen is here or not?"
He didn't get a response. Walking to a chair, he see that TenTen's closet is ajar and two bright white eyes are piercing out of them. Bounding over there, he opened the closet to see Neji tied up and gagged. Neji coughed as the gag is removed. "Lee is under her bed."
He helped Neji out to put him on the bed and searched under the bed to roll Lee out from underneath. "Are both of you alright?"
"TenTen has done this before so she could be the first to see the Hokage as a ninja." Neji said. "She's gotten better at it, but I wished that Gai would have saved us sooner."
"This is a dramatic experience." Dr. Katz said. "I suggest that we have a group session."
"You mean a couple's session. There's only two of us." Lee pointed out.
"Don't call it that." Neji said. "I am in."
"Then so am I!" Lee burned with flames in his eyes. "I will go to therapy eight hours a day and show people that hard work can beat genius."
"But you already work out 18 hours a day. There isn't enough time in the day for what you are suggesting." Neji pointed out more logically then whenever Lee pointed something out.
"Don't boss around my biological clock." Lee stated. "I can work hard and gain more than 24 hours in a day."
"You know," Dr. Katz said, "some people call that tomorrow."
"Why can't we hear it today?" Lee asked.
Dr. Katz and Neji were perplexed with that question and went on from there. "Neji, what do you dislike?"
"Usually, I like to throw that question to the side." Neji said. Lee who was on Neji's side patted his back and gave him a nice guy pose.
"Good for you," Lee said.
"I don't like quiters. I like to stand near Sasuke." Neji said.
Clip: (Neji providing the voices)
Neji is leaning against a wooden fense and watching Sakura talk to Sasuke.
"Do you want to do something?" Sakura asks.
"No," Sasuke replies, "You're annoying."
Sakura hangs her head up giving up on Sasuke and sees Neji shaking his head. "And I thought it was about true love."
End Clip:
"Of course, the whole situation reminds me of Charlie Brown and Lucy playing football." Neji snickered. "Winners never quit, and quiters never win, but people who never win and never win are stupid."
"Do do-do, do-do," Dr. Katz sung, "you know what that music means."
"That you should stick being a therapist," Lee quipped.
Hanging up his hat and coat, Dr. Katz saw his son at the table hugging a bag of milk. "What's wrong, Ben? We don't have a container for bags of milk."
"Bully is gone, my cereal went soggy, and I couldn't fix the door so I taped it up," the door peeled off the frame. "The worst day in my life."
"Did you remember to call Laura so she could call TenTen?" Dr. Katz asked.
"Who the hell is TenTen," Ben said, "I never that name before."
"Yeah, I didn't remember talking about her either." Dr. Katz said. "So what happened to Bully?"
"The Hokage stole it," he told him.
"Why did she steal it?"
"I ordered her to go on the mission to buy me some milk," Ben said.
"Did she remind you of anyone?" Dr. Katz asked pulling up a seat. "A show you used to watch?"
"One large globe of bitch," Ben pouted.
"You know, big mouth, violent, slightly plumb, blonde hair, pushy?"
"Miss Piggy!" Ben laughed.
"But let's not tell her when we go apologize for wasting her time." Dr. Katz said.
Next Patients: Hinata, Ino, Kiba
Special guest: Orochimaru